| ID |
Grabbed by |
Quote |
: |
| 6070 |
frisv |
<NefariousAMG> |
omg that was amazing last night |
| 6069 |
funkyb |
<Omega037> |
uncircumcised would work too |
| 6068 |
funkyb |
<Omega037> |
blind people are generally some of the safest people to punch |
| 6067 |
bofh|wurk |
<Electropoop> |
Im a big fan of bbc |
| 6066 |
Nyghtshade |
<kerouac> |
i don't beleive you have an ass, Electropoop |
| 6065 |
anotherbofh2 |
<Nerdshade> |
I think the movements required to create two stable oscillations with dual dicks would be beyond the range of movement feasible with human hips and glutes. |
| 6064 |
anotherbofh3 |
<jsgrant> |
monkers: I'm a low-functioning artist. |
| 6063 |
Nyghtshade |
<kerouac> |
"oh my, these section 8 negroes have an irc channel" |
| 6062 |
Nyghtshade |
<Chank> |
bofh|werk i fixed !grab |
| 6061 |
Omega037 |
<Electropoop> |
My 2 breasts and vag confirm that |
| 6060 |
funkyb |
<monkers> |
make america gluten again! |
| 6059 |
funkyb |
<Omega037> |
you probably got the white bonus, but took a big hit for gender |
| 6058 |
Robbles |
<frisv> |
gotta get a dick toaster |
| 6057 |
funkyb |
<kerouac> |
i can eat a whole tube of cookies like pez |
| 6056 |
Electropoop |
<frisv> |
like my sister has this dog that keeps jumping over their fence. their solution is better fence, my solution was to break the dogs legs |
| 6055 |
Robbles |
<GreetingsADM> |
That's probably the most satisfying nuts I've ever put in my mouth |
| 6054 |
Robbles |
<Omega037> |
jsgrant has a husband? |
| 6053 |
bk |
<Omega037> |
she then proceeds to drop her pants and drag her labia accross the floor |
| 6052 |
Omega037 |
<bk> |
Omega037: you're lucky; usually I have to pay someone $100 to shit on me |
| 6051 |
DLbot |
<frisv> |
it's like gruel you just take a mouthful and swallow |
| 6050 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
there were no tacos other than my dusty taconite one |
| 6049 |
rikkitikki |
<bk> |
that would involve shoving her arm up your vagina |
| 6048 |
Merlin00 |
<frisv> |
let trump penetrate you |
| 6047 |
Merlin00 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
its like lack of blood cold |
| 6046 |
monkers |
<bk> |
not what I'm looking for |
| 6045 |
Omega037 |
<monkers> |
try to be positive, be excited |
| 6044 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
ah the ol' slap and tickle |
| 6043 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
dt will do it |
| 6042 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
bet that thing weighs like 50lb |
| 6041 |
funkyb |
<cloaks> |
i dont like cloaks |
| 6040 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<misspwn> |
i just want the meat |
| 6039 |
Electropoop |
<bk> |
new vegas doesn't get built until years after the bombs drop, DT |
| 6038 |
DLbot |
<frisv> |
that sounds like diaper territory to me |
| 6037 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Electropoop> |
I love touching things |
| 6036 |
anotherbofh |
<introspectr3> |
you sticking cigarettes into old people? |
| 6035 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The Queen of Outer Space has three enormous breasts |
| 6034 |
frisv |
<mdchap> |
my dick is more powerful than that laptop |
| 6033 |
Merlin00 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
frisv: what the fuck is wrong with your dick |
| 6032 |
Robbles |
<|mErLin|> |
I don't think diddling people is leaving them alone |
| 6031 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
if i could do that in bed without making a huge mess i would |
| 6030 |
anotherbofh |
<frisv> |
tortillas dont have feelings |
| 6029 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
but now when i go on walks i dont have an alibi for why i'm hanging out with 13 year old girls |
| 6028 |
Merlin00 |
<monkers> |
fuck you, you look old and shitty too. |
| 6027 |
funkyb |
<NefariousAMG> |
Yeah I grunt when i get my swell on in the gym, so everyoe can see how jacked and tan i am...totally dt |
| 6026 |
funkyb |
<Barro> |
sometimes I think I should be shitting through a boba straw. |
| 6025 |
Robbles |
<demophoon> |
deez nutz make me happy |
| 6024 |
Robbles |
<anotherbofh> |
That's like saying you should hire an illiterate guy to manage the library cause they're unrepresented in librarians |
| 6023 |
anotherbofh |
<frisv> |
oh yeah good idea i should butt chug it |
| 6022 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
so they're gonna pump you full of sperm? |
| 6021 |
TGWB |
<anotherbofh> |
or Busty Cops 4 also about leadership |
| 6020 |
Merlin00 |
<anotherbofh> |
it wasn't the best, but still beats most of the crap i slop into the channel |
| 6019 |
anotherbofh |
<Merlin00> |
that is a terrible grab |
| 6018 |
Robbles |
<anotherbofh> |
I don't wanna rent one... I wanna take her kennel back to her natural habitat and set her free |
| 6017 |
Omega037 |
<Robbles> |
i think omegas right |
| 6016 |
Robbles |
<jeepnaked> |
Beer cans in your ass, don't knock it until you've tried it |
| 6015 |
colinahscopy |
<frisv> |
they call me the pickle dominator |
| 6014 |
DeliriumTremens |
<mdchap> |
yeah jake you fuckin dumbass |
| 6013 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I cant stop pooping |
| 6012 |
||cw |
<frisv> |
it's larger than even i expected |
| 6011 |
NefariousAMG |
<DeliriumTremens> |
cookies, penises, mdchaps tasted them all |
| 6010 |
funkyb |
<Omega037> |
you could try linux and just have it not work in the first place |
| 6009 |
Merlin00 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I have spent $0 on donkey dick |
| 6008 |
||cw |
<frisv> |
there we go just had to shake it |
| 6007 |
Omega037 |
<Robbles> |
sometimes its a "teen incest" day |
| 6006 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga_> |
how long do edibles last in your pee |
| 6005 |
mdchap |
<frisv> |
i'd have to jack off like 5 times beforehand to make sure i wouldn't get accidental boners |
| 6004 |
Merlin00 |
<misspwn> |
i feel like omega is going to be peering in my windows trying to coach me on how to concieve |
| 6003 |
Nyghtshade |
<kerouac> |
i follwed him on linkedin and he makes me hungry |
| 6002 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
i got caught masterbating by a short mexican guy in a public bathroom |
| 6001 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
i bit into a cherry tomato and it shot the juice to the back of my throat, now i know how Robbles feels |
| 6000 |
Robbles |
<Chewbaccer|work> |
talk about trains and see if a locomotive pops through their pants |
| 5999 |
bk |
<frisv> |
i would've rather them took it out and reinserted it |
| 5998 |
bk |
<Nyghtshade> |
Oh... but no milk to make em creamy |
| 5997 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
my piss smells like the bridgeton landfill fire dumped in rio olympic sewage |
| 5996 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
well, if i pooped in burger kings deep fryer, does anyone notice? |
| 5995 |
Robbles |
<Omega037> |
i think my dong is better than Fuller House |
| 5994 |
Robbles |
<DeliriumTremens> |
You don't need to worry about the bears anyway, they are all lethargic from smoking weed every day. |
| 5993 |
frisv |
<misspwn> |
looking at how small it is, i literally cant even |
| 5992 |
bk |
<NefariousAMG> |
the hot salami is delicious |
| 5991 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
ima milk Merlin00 |
| 5990 |
Merlin00 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
ive never ridden the metrolink |
| 5989 |
GreetingsADM |
<mdchap> |
yep I just got that. I know I should have a voucher from when I bought lady gaga tickets 5 years ago |
| 5988 |
Omega037 |
<rikkitikki> |
I would suck a cock for free |
| 5987 |
GreetingsADM |
<mdchap> |
fn. even my mom shits on my fashion choices |
| 5986 |
rikkitikki |
<Nyghtshade> |
My wibbly wobbly dingly dongly thing. |
| 5985 |
rikkitikki |
<bbbeluga> |
sugar coated blowjobs are only a concern for the diabetics |
| 5984 |
timotab |
<Omega037> |
id have to check my rods though, its been a while |
| 5983 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
fingers suck cause i use them a lot for fingering |
| 5982 |
Robbles |
<frisv> |
i'm voting for hilary cause we'll save money on her salary by only paying her 77% as much as obama |
| 5981 |
||cw |
<Ellesta> |
It's hard to fall asleep when I keep getting pounced on |
| 5980 |
suttin |
<frisv> |
i am sitting upon a throne of chocolate cupcake crumbs |
| 5979 |
funkyb |
<wcchandler> |
i'll hit your bumper cover gurl |
| 5978 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
i'm always available |
| 5977 |
Robbles |
<frisv> |
so basically they need to make tortilla condoms for my burritos |
| 5976 |
mdchap |
<frisv> |
if i had to wrap a tortilla around my dick every time i had sex, i'd have hundreds of babies |
| 5975 |
mdchap |
<DeliriumTremens> |
APPARENTLY I FART IN MY SLEEP |
| 5974 |
funkyb |
<Nyghtshade> |
Today's the day when GreetingsADM lost his mind. |
| 5973 |
Robbles |
<DeliriumTremens> |
mexican drugs dont expire |
| 5972 |
funkyb |
<||cw> |
dicks are pretty easy to wash... |
| 5971 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
i'm trying to give you $3.50 for you to mix milk, ice cream, set it on your ass and twerk it |
| 5970 |
Robbles |
<GreetingsADM> |
it still counts as wiping if you collect your poop remnants in a jar |
| 5969 |
Robbles |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I can expand your horizons, but first you must expand your brachioles. |
| 5968 |
funkyb |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
There is a God. And he exists solely to design people who piss me off. |
| 5967 |
Robbles |
<frisv> |
"hey i know you might be on a date but i just wanted you to know you look like a big fuckin nerd" |
| 5966 |
Omega037 |
<rikkitikki> |
I need to get a weed card, but I'm lazy |
| 5965 |
funkyb |
<NefariousAMG> |
i'm not trying to get you a virus or anything. Others can attest, i'm not that kind of person |
| 5964 |
introspectr |
<TGWB> |
DeliriumTremens you mom knows how to handle my dick |
| 5963 |
TGWB |
<Lapper> |
"My good sir, I don't pretend. I imaginify." |
| 5962 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
frothy chocolate edema |
| 5961 |
Omega037 |
<Electropop> |
im so excited to get bangs |
| 5960 |
Robbles |
<NefariousAMG> |
I blame it all on the small feet/large boobs issue. I'm topheavy |
| 5959 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Is it the live action version of "Everybody Poops"? |
| 5958 |
dolemite7 |
<TGWB> |
hmm.... i might try that.... i think itd taste really salty though |
| 5957 |
Robbles |
<TGWB> |
it looked so grabbable though |
| 5956 |
dolemite7 |
<TGWB> |
this dude is sticking his hand down his underwear and straight attacking his dick |
| 5955 |
TGWB |
<Merlin00> |
what's wrong with pissing at a park |
| 5954 |
Robbles |
<bk> |
rikki gets wet enough on her own |
| 5953 |
DeliriumTremens |
<DEE> |
YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO, STUPID DONALD TRUMP VOTING MOTHER FUCKERS. LOW INFORMATION IDIOTS. YOU'RE THE REASON BERNIE SANDERS IS LOSING |
| 5952 |
timotab |
<frisv> |
conflicting instructions, m&ms in anus |
| 5951 |
TGWB |
<GreetingsADM> |
is booby trap like tits in a box? |
| 5950 |
TGWB |
<DeliriumTremens> |
this is why you'll never get coitus |
| 5949 |
Merlin00 |
<mdchap> |
all of my no shows are black |
| 5948 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
the best thing about online penguin porn is that there's no smell |
| 5947 |
Omega037 |
<TGWB> |
whats coitus? |
| 5946 |
Merlin00 |
<frisv> |
i'm masturbating to Merlin00 watching train videos |
| 5945 |
GreetingsADM |
<mdchap> |
I talk to my mom almost every day |
| 5944 |
TGWB |
<Robbles> |
TGWB: thanks to two girls one cup, i've seen shit too |
| 5943 |
rikkitikki |
<ThatDeadDude> |
I'll have you know I've yolod at least 3 times |
| 5942 |
TGWB |
<ThatDeadDude> |
ANAL VORE |
| 5941 |
rikkitikki |
<Omega037> |
back in my day, there were like 12 pokemon |
| 5940 |
rikki|awaaay |
<Omega037> |
cant an old jew be miserly anymore? |
| 5939 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
im gonna dress up like a fox and sneak into Chewbaccers coop once a week and steal eggs |
| 5938 |
n |
<frisv> |
i gave your mom the in |
| 5937 |
Robbles |
<bk> |
robbles couldn't stop thinking about my enormous penis |
| 5936 |
TGWB |
<frisv> |
hey, i'm all for lactating in public as long as you have nice tits |
| 5935 |
Mart |
<GreetingsADM> |
want to nurse in your own home, too bad, go to Wal |
| 5934 |
Omega037 |
<Nyghtshade> |
I have a cousin I'd totally bang |
| 5933 |
TGWB |
<misspwn> |
Nef|phone: maybe he tripped over his purple velvet platforms |
| 5932 |
Omega037 |
<TGWB> |
im just not sexually attracted to my parents |
| 5931 |
DeliriumTremens |
<TGWB> |
if you dont believe anything else that i say, believe me when i say that i WILL NOT EVER do drugs |
| 5930 |
DeliriumTremens |
<GreetingsADM> |
Josh is giving me a rub down at 3 |
| 5929 |
bk |
<rikki|phoney> |
Hot oil on soft boobs!? |
| 5928 |
Robbles |
<frisv_phone> |
I just don't wanna smell like dong all day |
| 5927 |
Merlin00 |
<misspwn> |
Merlin00: if i get under your desk your wife will hate me |
| 5926 |
Butters_ |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
August 24th, Jihad, Islam, dirty bomb, throwaway phone, sprint att, St. louis 11:35 PM page ave, kill. |
| 5925 |
Butters_ |
<grobend> |
Anyone here selling nuclear material? |
| 5924 |
Merlin00 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm gonna go in there and press my fuckin butthole up to the crack in the stall door and show him regret. |
| 5923 |
Robbles |
<DeliriumTremens> |
did you get a haircut with a happy ending? |
| 5922 |
mdchap |
<grobend> |
I could go for some dick in my ass. |
| 5921 |
bk |
<bbbeluga> |
do you even eat their meat? |
| 5920 |
funkyb |
<wcchandler> |
i feel like a cat and you're petting me and getting super close to my butt so i just shove it higher and higher in the air |
| 5919 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
i've seen bigger but dang |
| 5918 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
and misspwn's dick won't fit in the bathroom |
| 5917 |
Butters_ |
<misspwn> |
next person to shout penis is gona get a cockmeat sandwich |
| 5916 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
cause you'd have to pee in my butt and i know you'd rather suck off a dead rat |
| 5914 |
Robbles |
<Omega037> |
apparently as you get fatter, you need more inches |
| 5913 |
Robbles |
<frisv> |
i bet brittbot lives in an apartment |
| 5912 |
Nyghtshade |
<anotherbofh> |
And I have no doubt that your mirror is currently looking for a good therapist |
| 5911 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work> |
We keep finding gummy bear heads stuck in weird places |
| 5910 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
i'm wearing a pedometer today to measure how much of a pedophile i am |
| 5909 |
anotherbofh |
<frisv> |
attack in belgium: waffles compromised |
| 5908 |
mdchap_ |
<axe9|work> |
I got poop on my finger once and it almost made me throw up :( |
| 5907 |
Nyghtshade|Work |
<frisv> |
keep missing 3's little cock |
| 5906 |
Merlin00 |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
I totally jerked it in that cell. |
| 5905 |
Merlin00 |
<mdchap_> |
the dude in this car commercial is way too attractive to have 4 kids |
| 5904 |
Robbles |
<frisv> |
good they won't notice when you shit outside now |
| 5903 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Electropop> |
ugh. I cant find a good opening. |
| 5902 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
Omega037 we were trying to find chocolate gold coins the other day and it was tough, where do you go |
| 5901 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
your whole dental hygiene process is too smug even for me |
| 5900 |
Nyghtshade |
<demophoon> |
1 free butt cleaning with purchase of any arbys meal |
| 5899 |
Omega037 |
<Nyghtshade> |
Good to know. No vaginal raspberries. |
| 5898 |
Electropop |
<DeliriumTremens> |
but she didnt tell me she had two waters break, spinning her like Gravitron |
| 5897 |
Nyghtshade |
<Omega037> |
it feels like you came later |
| 5896 |
qLazarus |
<kerouac> |
FUCK YOU |
| 5895 |
kerouac |
<Merlin00> |
fuck you, buddy |
| 5894 |
Merlin00 |
<IneedE> |
nigger |
| 5893 |
timotab |
<Omega037> |
anal had some crazy spike in 2009 |
| 5892 |
Omega037 |
<NefariousAMG> |
I was just being a bitch for fun. |
| 5891 |
Merlin00 |
<_Deity> |
If they are legal they can look 12 and I'm fine with it |
| 5890 |
Nyghtshade |
<FalseProphet> |
if you were any more whipped this would be on fetlife? |
| 5889 |
rdm |
<frisv> |
you trim cause you like compliments at the urinal |
| 5887 |
Robbles |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I have the TARDIS of buttholes now. |
| 5886 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
i'll shut you down with my dick |
| 5885 |
Robbles |
<themanfromstan> |
I mean it depends how hot, and it was mom/daughter maybe |
| 5884 |
Robbles |
<GreetingsADM> |
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and sometimes a picture of your mom is just a picture of someone you'll spank it to |
| 5883 |
Robbles |
<NefariousAMG> |
I'm a chick. i don't need his mom in my spank bank |
| 5882 |
Robbles |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
you put the fucker in motherfucker. |
| 5881 |
GreetingsADM |
<DeliriumTremens> |
mine was tiny |
| 5880 |
Robbles |
<Omega037> |
but understand that the box is like 3 times bigger than the thing |
| 5879 |
Robbles |
<f1ngertoes> |
usually it's the chicks who cry when i have an orgasm |
| 5878 |
Robbles |
<kerouac> |
everyone needs an orgasm |
| 5877 |
GreetingsADM |
<hawkgpg> |
the only things i know in ASL are dancing, condom, and thank you |
| 5876 |
Robbles |
<frisv> |
apparently they issue winter weather advisorys for 3 to 5 inches. if thats the case i've been dropping winter weather advisories on your mom all month |
| 5875 |
DeliriumTremens |
<mdchap> |
I'll give you $25 if you shit on my chest |
| 5874 |
||cw |
<Omega037> |
wife is already 1cm dialated too |
| 5873 |
Robbles |
<Omega037> |
i think releasing a box of bats in a jail cell would be more effective than releasing a batman |
| 5872 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
drink more semen and eat banananannanas |
| 5871 |
Robbles |
<Omega037> |
is that why you like to have sex with armidillos? |
| 5870 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
DON'T YOU GET IT? THE WORLD OF MICROSOFT TRAIN SIMULATOR IS MERGING WITH THE REAL WORLD |
| 5869 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'da slapped a friend if he told me to "drink the flower jizz" |
| 5867 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
well, SOMEONES gotta have some standards in this place |
| 5866 |
Merlin00 |
<misspwn_> |
maybe if you eat my ass dt |
| 5865 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
lol is it really only 1/2"? |
| 5864 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta__> |
I'd let an owl poo on me |
| 5863 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
I feel like I'd be sexy AF if I were a woman |
| 5862 |
kerouac |
<misspwn> |
grobends mom was keeping it under lock and key until someone ate her ass |
| 5861 |
Deity_phone |
<mdchap> |
boo this Deity_phone |
| 5860 |
Deity_phone |
<bbbeluga> |
Omg this fish |
| 5859 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
i'll have to come next time |
| 5858 |
bbbeluga |
<DeliriumTremens> |
theres tons of meat in the garage |
| 5857 |
k27463 |
<misspwn> |
dt got me from a discount bin :( |
| 5856 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Maybe if you put something in your butt that would all change. |
| 5855 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Chewbaccer|work> |
I need to give you those meat logs |
| 5854 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i need to get an r/dtbot tattoo |
| 5853 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
are you distributing brown bananas to the porcelain gods? |
| 5852 |
Omega037 |
<Nyghtshade> |
SHE WAS ONLY 12 |
| 5851 |
bbbeluga |
<||cw> |
pounding and bottoming out is something I'm good at |
| 5850 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
shoe goo can accomplish anything. it even seals girls mouths shut when you dont want them screaming in your basement anymore |
| 5849 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
but what else am I going to stick my penis in |
| 5848 |
k27463 |
<CoachMcGuirk> |
i have better odds of winning Caitlyn Jenner's vagina. |
| 5847 |
N3rfdude |
<Ellesta> |
"must have an inch of caked on dick cheese pls" |
| 5846 |
DeliriumTremens |
<NeckMoustache> |
I like the whole package. |
| 5845 |
Robbles |
<rikkitikki> |
how can anyone hate boobs |
| 5844 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
quit fondling your sister |
| 5843 |
Omega037 |
<bk> |
I am an active pooper |
| 5842 |
k27463 |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
it's because my dick is so big, a whale is the only thing that makes sense. |
| 5841 |
k27463 |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
You haven't lived until you've snorted the dried and crushed up foreskin of a jewish 13 year old. |
| 5840 |
k27463 |
<athetos> |
do asian genitals pixelate at birth, or does it happen during puberty? |
| 5839 |
Ellesta |
<GracieLou> |
I like his juice. |
| 5838 |
Merlin00 |
<GreetingsADM> |
I would take a drink of just about anything |
| 5837 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
i pulled a grobend and ate his ass yesterday |
| 5836 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
put your hands on me in my skintight jeans |
| 5835 |
funkyb |
<secretninjaket_> |
Hopefully, he'd be a little worn out after sleeping with me! |
| 5834 |
funkyb |
<secretninjaket_> |
Yea! Put it in my mouth! |
| 5833 |
bk |
<Ellesta> |
I'm a lady today! |
| 5832 |
k27463 |
<Barro> |
I only buy TVs made before 1980 so when I watch porn I can't see how jacked up those chicks really look |
| 5831 |
GreetingsADM |
<Chewbaccer|away> |
I don't cancel drinking |
| 5830 |
bk |
<secretninjaket_> |
Essentially you gotta stretch it to make it stop. |
| 5829 |
Chewbaccer |
<GreetingsADM> |
That's why he can't get a new job, he's staying with his abusive spouse (boss) for the sake of his kids (servers) |
| 5828 |
k27463 |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
I feel as though my cock will never be complete. |
| 5827 |
dolemite7 |
<Omega037> |
gave my wife her first painful kick/punch in the cervix |
| 5826 |
Nyghtshade |
<colinahscopy> |
#blamektrains |
| 5825 |
DeliriumTremens |
<mdchap_> |
but its tiny |
| 5824 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
oooh, i'm gonna put desj in my wagon |
| 5823 |
_Deity |
<Nyghtshade> |
I have had my fair share of having things getting shoved up my dick, in this life. |
| 5822 |
DeliriumTremens |
<mdchap> |
omg I'm so wet |
| 5821 |
NefariousAMG |
<secretninjaket_> |
Who doesn't love my boobs?! |
| 5820 |
Electropop |
<spotmonk> |
I'd let Omega037 knock me up, as long as he's on time with the child support and I don't have to talk to him |
| 5819 |
Merlin00 |
<Ellesta> |
yea and I'd rather not get arrested for torrenting games |
| 5818 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
Nyghtshade are you currently experiencing a bukkake? |
| 5817 |
timotab |
<Chewbaccer> |
Mine is going to be ugly and hairy |
| 5816 |
Omega037 |
<NefariousAMG> |
you win you fat jewish piece of shit. I hope your children grow up to hate you |
| 5815 |
colinahscopy |
<frisv> |
is he having a reverse baby? |
| 5814 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i put my underpants on backwards so i can poop through wang hole w/o taking underwear off |
| 5813 |
bk |
<f1ngertoes> |
toes are important |
| 5812 |
k27463 |
<chicken_butt> |
well i personally put imos salad dressing on my fiances boobs, so.... |
| 5811 |
k27463 |
<misspwn> |
well now that i know he's into that, i'm gona start pooping with the door open |
| 5810 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
I bet she gave weird handjobs |
| 5809 |
Omega037 |
<Godric0619> |
never masturbated your own dog? |
| 5808 |
Omega037 |
<jsgrant> |
Omega037 Yeah, you were right. |
| 5807 |
Omega037 |
<Godric0619> |
Just because I have not sworn my vagina to one person doesn't not mean I don't know how to love |
| 5806 |
_Deity |
<NefariousAMG> |
gdi, i hate it when torrents get to like 98% and fail. speaking of breaking the law. |
| 5805 |
colinahscopy |
<DeliriumTremens> |
it'll eat up the day like grobend eats up an ass |
| 5804 |
bk |
<Omega037> |
i got to see some serious hyena cock at the zoo today |
| 5803 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
a rule of my taint |
| 5802 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
Nice boner |
| 5801 |
funkyb |
<mdchap_> |
"DT likes it when I shit on his chest" |
| 5800 |
misspwn_ |
<grobend> |
I eat ass |
| 5799 |
GreetingsADM |
<dolemite7> |
tip: remember to not get too fucking high before it |
| 5798 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
I always fart to assert my dominance |
| 5797 |
Electropop |
<Godric0619> |
Full disclosure: am not Jewish. Just love passover |
| 5796 |
_Deity |
<cupcakez> |
I've been pooped on |
| 5795 |
_Deity |
<damon> |
i think trump is a lot smarter than palin |
| 5794 |
DeliriumTremens |
<mdchap_> |
"HERE'S DONUTS I FORGOT TO WRAP MY DICK" |
| 5793 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
damn black heads |
| 5792 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
I need a bigger dick |
| 5791 |
k27463 |
<Godric0619> |
My android does need a hymen. It is such a slut and how else will i trick a good, respectable man to marry it? |
| 5790 |
GreetingsADM |
<Godric0619> |
Yes, the whole thing. And he won't come unless you say it perfectly, with true american vigor |
| 5789 |
k27463 |
<chicken_butt> |
You're a gay lass, Ellesta |
| 5788 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
there is an old man's penis |
| 5787 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
Finally. Took FOREVER to get in here |
| 5786 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
You don't need a wife, you can just masturbate |
| 5785 |
NefariousAMG |
<secretninjaket> |
I mean most dicks are not dealbreakers. At least, you can't gag on a four inch cock! |
| 5784 |
mdchap |
<Electropop> |
Like I get anal. |
| 5783 |
funkyb |
<Nyghtshade> |
I have licked a girls butthole before. |
| 5782 |
introspectr |
<Omega037> |
i was thinking about getting a bidet, but that would be more a gift for me than my wife |
| 5781 |
Omega037 |
<Ellesta> |
my poops have been SOOOOoOooOO fun |
| 5780 |
Omega037 |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
Is there a tinder for cougars? |
| 5779 |
bbbeluga |
<Roquefort> |
gimme that stinky, that nasty, that gushy stuff |
| 5778 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"streaming" "webcam" "pointed to" "his butthole" |
| 5777 |
Electropop |
<k27463> |
just the tip though |
| 5776 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
I dont think that would fit |
| 5775 |
GreetingsADM |
<frisv> |
at least with a girl, you know they ain't gonna turn out like desj |
| 5774 |
colinahscopy |
<GreetingsADM> |
you will be dick deep in baby gifts |
| 5773 |
timotab |
<Electropop> |
timotab is a cool dude |
| 5772 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
timo is very nice |
| 5771 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
embrace the nip |
| 5770 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
HEY EVERYONE, THERE'S SOMETHING THAT KTRAINS DOESN'T LIKE |
| 5769 |
NefariousAMG |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my balls look like a gorilla praying between my legs, i think they can handle it |
| 5768 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
you can replace your vibrator with my package, bb |
| 5767 |
bk |
<Chewbaccer> |
and I keep coming back to "why don't they just use a vibrator", then I think "well, maybe I don't understand" |
| 5766 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
Can't I just lay in bed naked all day? |
| 5765 |
k27463 |
<_Deity> |
Also, my doctor told me not to lift more than 10 lbs.. which means I need a nurse to hold my dick when doing anything with it |
| 5764 |
NefariousAMG |
<secretninjaket> |
There is definitely a fart button in my vag not gonna lie. |
| 5763 |
_Deity |
<NefariousAMG> |
he didn't call anyone a nigger or a faggot |
| 5762 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
an orgy is no fun if its cold |
| 5761 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
that is not my bra |
| 5760 |
NefariousAMG |
<Godric0619|WORK> |
Tiny, sparkly herpes |
| 5759 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
I'm jealous that it's not inside me |
| 5758 |
k27463 |
<mdchap01> |
nothing better than friday morning sex while playing hookie |
| 5757 |
Butters_ |
<frisv> |
my man dollars are now worth more women dollars |
| 5756 |
mdchap01 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I would fold up a Peel pizza and fuck it if society would allow it. |
| 5755 |
k27463 |
<Godric0619|WORK> |
To survive, one must put their dick in the crazy of life. |
| 5754 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
I get erections, they're just secret. |
| 5753 |
k27463 |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
Because I'm capable of having erections and thus I must be a sexual predator. |
| 5752 |
NefariousAMG |
<Omega037> |
and CS is for people who cant cut it as Comp Eng |
| 5751 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
y'all are lucky i'm wearing pants |
| 5750 |
bk |
<k27463> |
I AM UNAWARE OF SOCIETAL NORMS |
| 5749 |
bk |
<k27463> |
i also don't know what's considered small and what's considered large |
| 5748 |
funkyb |
<GreetingsADM> |
I don't mind the baby poop color |
| 5747 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
maybe i'll get him some goo for xmas |
| 5746 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
my iq was 200, but then desj came into the chat and now it's 7 |
| 5745 |
k27463 |
<ThatDeadDude> |
I think the others in my apartment building would be unhappy if I peed in the atrium |
| 5744 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i moved in with gf strictly for wifi |
| 5743 |
Butters_ |
<mdchap> |
work boners are the worst |
| 5742 |
frisv |
<Chewbaccer> |
You brought twat back into my life |
| 5741 |
colinahscopy |
<misspwn> |
i should take my IUD out and let the wrath unleash onto dt |
| 5740 |
bbbeluga |
<Ellesta> |
gdi I should've killed the dragon and got the eye! |
| 5739 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Don't wash your dick with sriracha |
| 5738 |
Godric0619|WORK |
<||cw> |
TWSS |
| 5737 |
k27463 |
<NeckMoustache> |
No, I pooped on the floor to assert dominance. |
| 5736 |
k27463 |
<NeckMoustache> |
NO, OPEN COMMUNITY HOLES. |
| 5735 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
because i would be a creeper and totally look at a penis |
| 5734 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
You don't grab someone's nuts without asking first |
| 5733 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
cuz i'd like to humpback at my place |
| 5732 |
mdchap |
<frisv> |
how much back would a humpback hump if a humpback could hump back? |
| 5731 |
introspectr |
<GracieLou> |
is that as in funky butt? |
| 5730 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
fill all the holes |
| 5729 |
JManTop |
<k27463> |
we might make little whiny mini ktrains |
| 5728 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
I will squeak your pants off with dat clarinet |
| 5727 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
what if you like chicks with dicks |
| 5726 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
donkey is an underrated protein |
| 5725 |
colinahscopy |
<frisv> |
yes. i often hear myself saying "damn, that girls got a lot of surface area" |
| 5724 |
k27463 |
<Godric0619|WORK> |
Asians are 2$ |
| 5723 |
chicken_butt |
<frisv> |
where is the fucking westboro baptist church when you need them? |
| 5722 |
k27463 |
<f2ngertoes> |
i would inhale lady gaga's fart and hold it like a bong hit |
| 5721 |
JManTop |
<JManBottom> |
I'm the penis |
| 5720 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
Aw I don't have a butt flap |
| 5719 |
NefariousAMG |
<secretninjaket> |
OH no my boobs are leaking?! emergencies |
| 5718 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
my butt is like a forest |
| 5717 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
omg it's too long |
| 5716 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
All you people need to stop trying to die |
| 5715 |
NefariousAMG |
<Ellesta> |
Hint: it's my clit |
| 5714 |
k27463 |
<TisTheJMan> |
Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. |
| 5713 |
bk |
<Nyghtshade> |
Respect my right to fuck tailpipes |
| 5712 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
if I wanted to hook up with dumbass hoosier chicks, I could've probably had a four way |
| 5711 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
would you fuck her with a shoe, would you fuck her in a zoo |
| 5710 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
colinahscopy yeah, you're a solid 7 |
| 5709 |
k27463 |
<GracieLou> |
I gots the booty |
| 5708 |
Chankstr^ |
<mdchap> |
funkyb, do you shave your butthole |
| 5707 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
rdm wants to fuck me |
| 5706 |
bk |
<k27463> |
apparently i just have a bad sense of humor |
| 5705 |
Nyghtshade |
<DeliriumTremens> |
be assholes to eachother all ya want, but i'll just ban you |
| 5704 |
Nyghtshade|Work |
<Godric0619> |
I am being fancy and typing in a French accent |
| 5703 |
TisTheJMan |
<Merlin00> |
it's not that he's prude (well maybe he is), but he's just naive |
| 5702 |
grobend |
<Greet|work> |
and I tasted my own nuts |
| 5701 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i need a lopatamy |
| 5700 |
sushi_ |
<TisTheJMan> |
probably a daddy with sugar issues |
| 5699 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i think Nyghtshade|Work can pass as a black single mom |
| 5698 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
now say you want to make your dick bigger |
| 5697 |
Butters_ |
<sushi_> |
rapeseeds sounds like semen |
| 5696 |
Merlin00 |
<Butters_> |
FUCK YOU MONKERS YOU DEPRESSING PIECE OF HUMAN EXISTENCE!!!!!!! I TRIED TO BE NICE TO YOU, I REALLY DID, BUT YOURE AN ASSHOLE |
| 5695 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
my balls aren't that stretchy yet |
| 5694 |
sushi_ |
<mdchap> |
my balls are hairy AF. I'm too scared of scrotum cuts to shave them |
| 5693 |
k27463 |
<NeckMoustache> |
That's the other thing. Your hairy balls are not going in my mouth. |
| 5692 |
Cleve |
<NeckMoustache> |
Blood isn't a very effective lubricant in my experience. |
| 5691 |
Butters_ |
<frisv> |
i heard from 2 sources that your penis got stuck in the spokes |
| 5690 |
k27463 |
<Merlin00> |
I need to pee, but I don't want to walk outside |
| 5689 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
it's more like a fat alcoholic relationship |
| 5688 |
sushi_ |
<k27463> |
GreetingsADM: can i join you in the awkward hole? |
| 5687 |
k27463 |
<Godric0619|WORK> |
Yeah but with beards, like an hour later it still smells like your vag |
| 5686 |
GreetingsADM |
<Godric0619|WORK> |
I have had sex with bearded men! My only complaint is when their beard starts to smell like your vagina. |
| 5685 |
k27463 |
<Merlin00> |
mdchap just gets a lot of attention because chicks dig down's syndrome |
| 5684 |
Butters_ |
<frisv> |
they probably speak asian |
| 5683 |
Butters_ |
<chicken_butt> |
shit, I could go home and fuck my dog if I wanted. Why should my employer get flak for that? |
| 5682 |
Butters_ |
<NeckMoustache> |
It's okay. Math gives me boners too. |
| 5681 |
Butters_ |
<frisv> |
if you have a protractor you can measure your boner angles |
| 5680 |
GreetingsADM |
<mdchap> |
my chrome was already fucked by my porn habits |
| 5679 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Ellesta> |
its so big! |
| 5678 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
Ya the problem with a 24 inch dick is trying to find an equivalently long hole |
| 5677 |
mdchap |
<NefariousAMG> |
i'm afraid of my shower. I fell in it last week and have had to be really careful. THere's a slick spot I can't unslick |
| 5676 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
they won't take my plasma cuz I have downs |
| 5675 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
My bed is so cozy. And I'm naked. Fuck Yeah! |
| 5674 |
DeliriumTremens |
<sushi_> |
i like the cock |
| 5673 |
TenthTARDIS |
<Nyghtshade> |
TenthTARDIS, is just like the doctor. You have to need him bad enough. |
| 5672 |
k27463 |
<Godric0619|WORK> |
Trust me, I took 2 years of Swahili. I'm pretty much a genius. |
| 5671 |
sushi_ |
<hydro> |
don't poke me while you're wet |
| 5670 |
Ellesta |
<sushi_> |
i kind of really wanted to grab "[20 29 18] i mean i rub my boobs on my coworkers boobs all the time " |
| 5669 |
k27463 |
<sushi_> |
penis is great |
| 5668 |
colinahscopy |
<chicken_butt> |
"FILL ALL MY HOLES" |
| 5667 |
k27463 |
<misspwn> |
biggest jerk goes to misspwn |
| 5666 |
Nyghtshade|Work |
<misspwn> |
this thing is huge |
| 5665 |
chicekn_butt |
<introspectr> |
proof! |
| 5664 |
Nyghtshade|Work |
<Butters_> |
are you a girl? |
| 5663 |
Butters_ |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
Is your ISP from a cereal box? |
| 5662 |
Butters_ |
<chicekn_butt> |
drink ranch |
| 5661 |
MerlinFAT |
<NefariousAMG> |
you'd have to put tape over her disgusting mouth. |
| 5660 |
k27463 |
<TisTheJMan> |
I wasn't able to develop the cure in time, so I escaped in a helicopter |
| 5659 |
k27463 |
<sushi_> |
i wanted to grab it |
| 5658 |
sushi_ |
<Nyghtshade|Stuff> |
I love cream pies. |
| 5657 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
its einsteins fourth law of shit conservation |
| 5656 |
TGWB |
<dolemite7> |
i want a halloween condom that looks like mummy wrappings |
| 5655 |
TGWB |
<chicken_butt> |
death by bible is brutal, trust me |
| 5654 |
dolemite7 |
<TGWB> |
I like to live on the edge of what my parents tell me to do Merlin00 |
| 5653 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
I also have nice breasts |
| 5652 |
TGWB |
<Nyghtshade> |
A fish ate my cum. |
| 5651 |
k27463 |
<TGWB> |
at least half the population of desmet is black |
| 5650 |
k27463 |
<chicken_butt> |
TGWB can i pay you to do yard work....in a speedo |
| 5649 |
sushiii |
<frisv> |
what's a 6 year old boner in unit measurement, like 1.5 inches? |
| 5648 |
k27463 |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
Well were both naked and I was sitting in a laundry basket. |
| 5647 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
she needs huge.... assets |
| 5646 |
Nef|WalkingDead |
<NeckMoustache> |
Okay, fine, I snorted cocaine out of her labia |
| 5645 |
colinahscopy |
<DeliriumTremens> |
its all good and fun until the hotdog comes back for a second visit |
| 5644 |
bk |
<mdchap> |
ooo maybe I can get five guys |
| 5643 |
mdchap |
<k27463> |
frisv: we should do it in a wash u classroom |
| 5642 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
I'll bring rdm's pocket pussy |
| 5641 |
TGWB |
<k27463> |
TGWB: then stop giving blowjobs with your nose |
| 5640 |
colinahscopy |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The allen wrench got stuck, now my dick looks like half a swastika. |
| 5639 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
Suck it slut, slut fucking bucket list. |
| 5638 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
five guys put your meat in my mouth |
| 5637 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
its also illegal to have children with deer out of wedlock |
| 5636 |
frisv |
<Electropop> |
HOW BIG IS THIS THING? |
| 5635 |
TGWB |
<mdchap> |
no his problem is that he has 2 buttholes |
| 5634 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
Roses are red, violets are blue. fuck off I hate you |
| 5633 |
sushi_ |
<mdchap> |
to impress a chick: helicopter dick |
| 5632 |
TGWB |
<DeliriumTremens> |
oh wait thats a turd |
| 5631 |
TGWB |
<bbbeluga> |
tits are not balls |
| 5630 |
DeSJ2017 |
<boobend> |
Oh fuck a bag |
| 5629 |
DeSJ2017 |
<frisv> |
i like my women how i like my trains: long with a large caboose |
| 5628 |
Colin|FOODS |
<misspwn> |
dont be pb and jealous |
| 5627 |
TGWB |
<chicken_butt> |
i would pick the lesbian engineer (she can bring a friend), movie star, high school babe and her aborted kid, and myself. enough to have one crazy sex party. everyone else watches through the window from the outside |
| 5626 |
colinahscopy |
<GreetingsADM> |
It's Bootyspergers |
| 5625 |
_Deity |
<Merlin000> |
technology is our salvation |
| 5624 |
_Deity |
<k27463> |
it took me two years of IRC way back when to figure out what ":)" meant |
| 5623 |
colinahscopy |
<Nyghtshade> |
Well the answer would be 0, becuase a true whore would already have your cock in her mouth. |
| 5622 |
NefariousAMG |
<Ellesta> |
We need a new Samuel Jackson book: Go The Fuck To Class |
| 5621 |
Nyghtshade |
<Ellesta> |
but I can appreciate nice tits |
| 5620 |
bk |
<Ellesta> |
I can give my blood to all of you |
| 5619 |
k27463 |
<Chewbaccer> |
HOLD ON, DONT CUM YET. I HAVE TO GET ON IRC |
| 5618 |
bbbeluga |
<DeliriumTremens> |
mdchap is the master of the tuck |
| 5617 |
Omega037 |
<mdchap> |
I'm like 90% flaccid right now |
| 5616 |
GreetingsADM |
<reinheitsgebot> |
These 15 Pictures Show How Your Region Has Changed Over 6 Years |
| 5615 |
TGWB |
<bbbeluga> |
to be fair, baby jesus gets gassy and cries too |
| 5614 |
bk |
<Ellesta> |
Mmm bile jizz |
| 5613 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
bbbeluga, in my experience its sit around awkwardly for 20 minutes wondering if you can touch her, then get to the fuckin |
| 5612 |
Nyghtshade |
<boobend> |
Let me suck your dick for food |
| 5611 |
sushi_ |
<Nyghtshade> |
DeSJ2017, you don't like floppy cocks? |
| 5610 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade> |
floppy cocks and abs |
| 5609 |
DeSJCarHunt |
<Merlin00> |
I do the murdering gurl |
| 5608 |
k27463 |
<mdneedschapstick> |
gotta be flaccid so I don't get their hopes up |
| 5607 |
k27463 |
<chicken_butt> |
you want a decent chub, no more no less |
| 5606 |
DeSJ2017 |
<mdneedschapstick> |
chicagoland sounds like a terrible amusement park full of murder and corruption |
| 5605 |
sushi_ |
<frisv> |
i just made a butt appointment |
| 5604 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta|Mobile> |
I'll have my own party. With black jack. And hookers. |
| 5603 |
DeSJCarSearch |
<mdchap> |
put your dick in his butt? |
| 5602 |
DeliriumTremens |
<k27463> |
god why am I super sweaty |
| 5601 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
my first car was a 2001 red Camaro convertable. That car got me mad pussy. God damn do I miss it |
| 5600 |
k27463 |
<DeSJ2017> |
yeah... he got liver cancer from my comments.... |
| 5599 |
DeSJ2017 |
<k27463> |
DeSJ2017: you wish you had a hooker like her |
| 5598 |
k27463 |
<NeckMoustache> |
I am the second coming of Michael Jackson. |
| 5597 |
NefariousAMG |
<bk> |
my dick is so hard it puts scratches in diamonds |
| 5596 |
NefariousAMG |
<Ellesta> |
nothings harder than your dick bk |
| 5595 |
NefariousAMG |
<kerouac> |
i need to urinate before i get a boner, brb |
| 5594 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
What becomes of those with ass hairs like fallen timber? |
| 5593 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
anal bleaching = too far; anal shaving = just far enough |
| 5592 |
k27463 |
<sushi_> |
why not just pee in a toilet? |
| 5591 |
A_A_Ron |
<anotherbofh> |
I was just impressed by the size of your strapon bb |
| 5590 |
DeSJ2017 |
<spotmonk> |
I want to see all your legs |
| 5589 |
Merlin00 |
<frisv> |
pretty sure i could've hit a home run in wrigley yesterday |
| 5588 |
Omega037 |
<Nyghtshade> |
Y'all niggas be vicious. |
| 5587 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
more people on the bottom isn't going to solve anything |
| 5586 |
Omega037 |
<frisv> |
shemale tax |
| 5585 |
k27463 |
<ThatDeadDude> |
ass to ass forever |
| 5584 |
GreetingsADM |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Have you guys not seen my glorious penis? |
| 5583 |
ThatDeadDude |
<chicken_butt> |
I'm chugging water so that I can get up and pee every 20 minutes. Keeps me moving...keeps me awake |
| 5582 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
yeah I drink pineapple juice everyday so my cum is a dessert |
| 5581 |
bk |
<Chewbaccer> |
just put a communion wafer on your dick, and you're in |
| 5580 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
fucking christ. Do you even know what you type or do you just word diarrhea all over. |
| 5579 |
k27463 |
<Chewbaccer> |
I'm starting a marketing campaign to rebrand blowjobs as suckfuns |
| 5578 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
naked australian women having sex with me |
| 5577 |
mdchap |
<NefariousAMG> |
if you're sleeping, mdnap. If you're wearing a hat, mdcap. If you're in the bathroom, mdcrap. If you're dropping sick rhymes, mdrap |
| 5576 |
funkyb |
<bbbeluga> |
so i need to come out while playing chess after swapping costumes with my opponent and eating a sausage pizza in the shape of pulaski's head |
| 5575 |
sushi_ |
<grobend> |
I love the taste of asshole |
| 5574 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
I jerk off in bed |
| 5573 |
bk |
<spotmonk> |
if you want to have sex with someone on the first date you should have sex with them on the first date |
| 5572 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
condoms, a pumpkin and copies of desj's face |
| 5571 |
NefariousAMG |
<DeSJ2017> |
do you know what material plastic spatulas are made of? |
| 5570 |
dolemite7 |
<DigiGrl|Wrk> |
I need pictures.. of these puppies |
| 5569 |
dolemite7 |
<memmek|gdi> |
There are gay engineers and their lives are better than yours |
| 5568 |
NefariousAMG |
<DeSJ2017> |
i looked up Mushroom Stamp NefariousAMG |
| 5567 |
NefariousAMG |
<DeSJ2017> |
how do you do something gay? |
| 5566 |
NefariousAMG |
<bk> |
I'm fine with that because I'll only match with girls who have good taste in phones |
| 5565 |
NefariousAMG |
<funkyb> |
because Omega037 porks all the women in the toot |
| 5564 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
I wish they did pedos |
| 5563 |
funkyb |
<bo`> |
. |
| 5562 |
_Deity |
<k27463> |
nothing gay about a miata |
| 5561 |
DigiGrl|Wrk |
<k27463> |
DT can we clone a female version of you so I can marry her? |
| 5560 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
Let me find my school drug dealer |
| 5559 |
mdchap |
<Electropop> |
I wouldnt want my bottle to have vagina juices all over the part I drink |
| 5558 |
DeSJ2017 |
<NeckMoustache> |
Do I have to stop shaving my asshole? |
| 5557 |
DeSJ2017 |
<JeepNaked> |
I make up for the age with cock size |
| 5556 |
DeliriumTremens |
<NeckMoustache> |
I hope my sexual peak is fun. |
| 5555 |
Merlin00 |
<frisv> |
i wonder what the going rate is for blow jobs |
| 5554 |
Omega037 |
<bk> |
I command you to fuck. |
| 5553 |
chicken_butt |
<frisv> |
chicken_butt it's not underage if they arent born yet |
| 5552 |
frisv |
<f2ngertoes> |
sounds like what my dad said when he impregnated my mom with me: "it's mountin' time!" |
| 5551 |
Deity_Phone |
<monkers> |
im in elles ts |
| 5550 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
bk maybe one of these is the one. you'll get married and have whopper juniors |
| 5549 |
Deity_Phone |
<Nyghtshade> |
mdchap want to go murder some people? |
| 5548 |
DeSJ2017 |
<chicken_butt> |
don't be a dummy, cum on her tummy |
| 5547 |
k27463 |
<Nyghtshade> |
Yea you need to go ball one of those cute HS chicks before you put your heels to the ground. |
| 5546 |
bk |
<NefariousAMG> |
last time i checked, I like penises. |
| 5545 |
k27463 |
<glockenspiel> |
if we're instruments, does that make omega a Jew harp? |
| 5544 |
_Deity |
<Nyghtshade> |
GAH. I want to kill something right now. |
| 5543 |
GreetingsADM |
<k27463> |
what sort of shit are they made from? |
| 5542 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
why poop with any lights on? |
| 5541 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
yeah, replace that guys damaged cock |
| 5540 |
grobend |
<DeSJ2017> |
those were simpler times |
| 5539 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
how about a bag of just the breasts |
| 5538 |
kerouac |
<misspwn> |
a sukkah my dikkah |
| 5537 |
_Deity |
<k27463> |
i notice that i have one when i'm tired... |
| 5536 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
You couldn't handle this ass |
| 5535 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
I know because I have md in my name so I'm a doctor |
| 5534 |
_Deity |
<DeSJ2017> |
no i lie rdm |
| 5533 |
bk |
<DLbot> |
oatmeal raisin cookies are perky cookiebritches. |
| 5532 |
NefariousAMG |
<Chewbaccer> |
There's this drunk chick who works for John Deere sitting at the hotel bar, and I want to feed her her own uterus |
| 5531 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
do you want your kids to turn out like desj? no? then send them to normandy |
| 5530 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
i think my back wallet pocket is like dilbert's tie |
| 5529 |
anotherbofh |
<Nyghtshade> |
I'll have dick cheese this fall |
| 5528 |
NemoHoes |
<bk> |
you could use portals to fuck yourself |
| 5527 |
_Deity |
<Omega037> |
i tried having sex last night, it didnt go well |
| 5526 |
DeSJ2017 |
<barrotek> |
gold bond is like having 10,000 little elves tickling your balls |
| 5525 |
BruiseJenner |
<chicken_butt> |
i'm on my period |
| 5524 |
_Deity |
<sushi|phone> |
I contain low levels of mercury |
| 5523 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade> |
I want one of those japanese jerk off machines. |
| 5522 |
mdchap01 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i always hope the red banana jizz will taste good, but it never does |
| 5521 |
mdchap01 |
<Omega037> |
Merlin00 already gave me his throbbing cock this morning |
| 5519 |
funkyb |
<Merlin00> |
that's why I want some refugees |
| 5518 |
DeSJ2017 |
<ThatDeadDude> |
pig husbandry is a very respectable profession |
| 5517 |
mdchap |
<misspwn> |
click my cock |
| 5516 |
DeSJ2017 |
<ERICK Engineer> |
Yes anotherboth, we can make robots to automate dildos |
| 5515 |
DeSJ2017 |
<anotherbofh> |
Does an automation engineer find the best way to make the giant robot dildos move automatically?! |
| 5514 |
DeSJ2017 |
<anotherbofh> |
We may want to apologize. With our penises. |
| 5513 |
mdchap |
<Nef|phone> |
People need to stop being afraid to ride it |
| 5512 |
moist |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
Ellesta, how do you deal with your moistness then? |
| 5511 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
STOP GRABBING EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING |
| 5510 |
moist |
<chicken_butt> |
i wouldn't say jizz is a lotion type. more of a gel |
| 5509 |
DeSJ2017 |
<frisv> |
everything is "the ____" like "the loop" "the hill" "the chuck" "the ted drewes murder exclusion zone" |
| 5508 |
DeSJ2017 |
<bofh|phone> |
So it's more like a mason jar of whoopass? |
| 5507 |
DeSJ2017 |
<moist> |
"i'm gonna make you so moist tonight" |
| 5506 |
Ellesta |
<NeckMoustache> |
And God damn it, I don't want to stare at Spock while I'm getting porked. |
| 5505 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
hey baby wanna watch some porn on my 52 inch mirror |
| 5504 |
k27463 |
<NeckMoustache> |
I mean, any porn that's more aimed at women is going to look preferable to watching a dude choke a chick with his dick, unless you're into that. |
| 5503 |
DeSJ2017 |
<frisv> |
when it comes to bread i got the keys to the bakery |
| 5502 |
mdchap01 |
<k27463> |
imma fuckhead |
| 5501 |
k27463 |
<mdchap01> |
speaking of anal, here's bbbeluga! |
| 5500 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
oh I can anal |
| 5499 |
bk |
<Dmoney|mobile> |
I meant your only a few inches from doing it natural lol |
| 5498 |
f2ngertoes |
<DeSJ2017> |
whatever the hell makes you sleep at night you half assed piece of shit advice giver |
| 5497 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nerfdude> |
your homework is part of the system |
| 5496 |
kerouac |
<Ellesta> |
skittle jizz |
| 5495 |
spotmonkers |
<frisv> |
my hard ons are older than desj |
| 5494 |
spotmonkers |
<EllestAFK> |
cause i think its in the vajajay |
| 5493 |
introspectr |
<frisv> |
genders need not be black and white |
| 5492 |
DeSJLunch |
<NeckMoustache> |
Damn it. I should have scheduled a threesome today to celebrate bisexuality. |
| 5491 |
DeSJFreeTime |
<NemoHoes> |
if mangos are boobs it is most definitely me |
| 5490 |
k27463 |
<Evin> |
I should have been a lesbian, this would never have been an issue. |
| 5489 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nef|phone> |
The butthurt is strong in here |
| 5488 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
if there's fluff on the muff than she's old enough |
| 5487 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
17+ Is old enough to put my penis in. |
| 5486 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade> |
But I held a mexican at arrow point in my house once. |
| 5485 |
timotab |
<Nyghtshade> |
I have to let it grow out for a week or two so the ends are long enough. |
| 5484 |
Nyghtshade |
<Spotphone> |
Don't get mad when i don't want to fuck |
| 5483 |
k27463 |
<mdchap01> |
fuck me because I enjoy baseball, amirite? |
| 5482 |
Ellesta |
<k27463> |
two words dick blisters |
| 5481 |
NefariousAMG |
<Ellesta> |
TIL k27463 has the herps |
| 5480 |
NefariousAMG |
<ThatDeadDude> |
It is... just too big |
| 5479 |
DeliriumTremens |
<mdchap> |
I feel like a dick that big would be more of a turnoff than a turnon |
| 5478 |
rdm |
<NefariousAMG> |
or cum socks? |
| 5477 |
k27463 |
<monkers> |
i eat meat now |
| 5476 |
sushi_ |
<bk> |
don't run over muh dick |
| 5475 |
rdm |
<Chank> |
frisv: i broke it since you wanted to be more gay |
| 5474 |
funkyb |
<Nerfdude> |
She slowly licked and tickled his peeny, and, because she was so smart, combined the words in her head, like an expression explorer of old. |
| 5473 |
funkyb |
<GreetingsADM> |
damn it, it's like his anus is coming right at me |
| 5472 |
funkyb |
<GreetingsADM> |
but that mustache tickles so sensually |
| 5471 |
Nerfdude |
<Chewbaccer> |
I'm always more curious about how badly their cooters and weiners smelled back in the old days |
| 5470 |
bbbeluga |
<Nerfdude> |
when was pulling out discovered? because in boardwalk empire it's all creampies |
| 5469 |
k27463 |
<Nerfdude> |
gotta be over 5.5" to please me bb |
| 5468 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
your mom is tight |
| 5467 |
DeSJ2017 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
DeSJ2017: fuckin fart in a jar and hand it to her |
| 5466 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
so we just blast like fist full of it on our trays |
| 5465 |
NefariousAMG |
<Nerfdude> |
i just pooped the consistency of steak n shake chili |
| 5464 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
but I poop from there |
| 5463 |
funkyb |
<Ellesta> |
You can punch me all you want |
| 5462 |
k27463 |
<f2ngertoes> |
p.e.n.i.s. personal electronic nicotine inhalant system |
| 5461 |
NefariousAMG |
<Ellesta|Mobile> |
I'll come out when the lights go out or I have to fart |
| 5460 |
f2ngertoes |
<k27463> |
get back here...monkers is breathing really loudly on stream |
| 5459 |
NefariousAMG |
<Ellesta|Mobile> |
I hope he takes short showers though. And doesn't immediately start masturbating as soon as he lays down. |
| 5458 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
He's in my shower |
| 5457 |
bbbeluga |
<Ellesta> |
I just ate a weiner, it was delish. |
| 5456 |
||cw |
<frisv> |
we can suck ass together |
| 5455 |
k27463 |
<mdchap01> |
I'm only a dick in assholes |
| 5454 |
NefariousAMG |
<k27463> |
i have no balls |
| 5453 |
bk |
<misspwn> |
but you'll be able to jerk off and pick your kid up |
| 5452 |
bk |
<Ellesta> |
If I just had a cuddling pillow and a dildo, I wouldn't need a man |
| 5451 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
no foreskin to shield me from possible dick tans |
| 5450 |
Omega037 |
<f2ngertoes> |
i got an unlicked dick |
| 5449 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade> |
Suck the balls of flesh out with a vaccum. |
| 5448 |
timotab |
<Evin> |
Centipedes? In my vagina? |
| 5447 |
bk |
<Nexus8> |
those little metal assholes....one of these days |
| 5446 |
_Deity |
<Nexus8> |
i still got some of those assholes in my mouth |
| 5445 |
NefariousAMG |
<NeckMoustache> |
Put a candle in the butt and ice the beej. |
| 5444 |
Ellesta |
<GreetingsADM> |
There's a difference between a scar y dick and a scary dick |
| 5443 |
Electropop |
<f2ngertoes> |
can we all just agree that the human vagina is an awesome cavern of mystery that should be respected and worshipped? |
| 5442 |
NefariousAMG |
<Ellesta> |
my vagina sunk in even further now |
| 5441 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
I can probably fit in a lot more places now |
| 5440 |
anotherbofh |
<secretninjaket> |
The notorious "I'm a man" incident |
| 5439 |
introspectr |
<anotherbofh> |
I don't usually agree with DeSJ2017, but this time I'm making an exception |
| 5438 |
anotherbofh2 |
<Evin> |
Banging me is scary. |
| 5437 |
Ellesta |
<NeckMoustache> |
My pussy is grotesque like every other pussy. |
| 5436 |
k27463 |
<Evin> |
I never get to see you anymore now that everyone here either wants, wanted or eventually some day will want my penis. |
| 5435 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
I love me some blue waffles |
| 5434 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
K I'm black |
| 5433 |
Nyghtshade |
<Ellesta> |
I'll paint with my penis |
| 5432 |
bbbeluga |
<Nerfdude> |
i want to be a spooky marionette in the audience at my own funeral |
| 5431 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
its all wrinkly like a ball sack, but i can fix that |
| 5430 |
kitkatkt|work |
<dolemite7> |
We never did find a secret bunker filled with illicit drugs , but along the way we sure learned a lot about kitkatkt|work . |
| 5429 |
Nyghtshade|Work |
<kitkatkt|work> |
Nyghtshade|Work: that's right. im into bdsm. |
| 5428 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade|Work> |
And the little fucker ate one of her eyes. |
| 5427 |
DeSJ2017 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
tickle its butthole |
| 5426 |
bk |
<Chewbaccer> |
If you dont want to flick her bean, then she's no more than a 7/10 |
| 5425 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
godfrey is just white alton |
| 5424 |
Nerfdude |
<bk> |
"the japs" |
| 5423 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
i have tissues up my nose!!!that'll teach it |
| 5422 |
NefariousAMG |
<bk> |
my organ doesn't make much sound but it packs a punch where it counts |
| 5421 |
f2ngertoes |
<bbbeluga> |
they might find coal dust in your pee |
| 5420 |
breakdancingcat |
<mdchap> |
breakdancingcat is literally a menstrual cycle |
| 5419 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
I like my beer obsidian, like my heart |
| 5418 |
k27463 |
<secretninjaket> |
You know how I love my porns |
| 5417 |
_Deity |
<DigiGrl|wrk> |
mdchap awww dumb girls need love too... I can't spell for shit and Merlin still loves me P |
| 5416 |
_Deity |
<DeSJ2017> |
how the fuck do you motorboat balls? |
| 5415 |
Omega037 |
<spif> |
i can't stay away from this channel, you guys are too awesome |
| 5414 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
its like fucking a lawnmower |
| 5413 |
CoachTheJerk |
<GreetingsADM> |
Intro doesn't see race, gender, or religion, he only sees host |
| 5412 |
Omega037 |
<k27463> |
yeah i'm retarded |
| 5411 |
GreetingsADM |
<Chewbaccer> |
It can be like a body bag for Jesus |
| 5410 |
Nefariousamg |
<k27463> |
i'll let you play with my clit mouse tonight |
| 5409 |
NefariousAMG |
<bbbeluga> |
Why not just scissor then |
| 5408 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i mean i already shoved my dick in his IRC mouth, but i know hes still here |
| 5407 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta|Mobile> |
I love all cocks |
| 5406 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta|Mobile> |
IT'S HARD TO BE ME! MY BELLY BUTTON IS RUINED |
| 5405 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
I think we're looking at the same penis, here |
| 5404 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta2> |
Carpetsexual yes |
| 5403 |
bk |
<Nyghtshade> |
Have to jerk off with barbed wire after that. |
| 5402 |
bk |
<Ellesta2> |
But you know my ex used to rub his dick on the carpet to masturbate |
| 5401 |
DeSJ2017 |
<_Deity> |
keep thinking about NOT fucking up |
| 5400 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my mom is a finely tuned machine |
| 5399 |
_Deity |
<GreetingsADM> |
I thought I was in |
| 5398 |
Nerfdude |
<bbbeluga> |
gotta tell everyone how fat they are, that they all have small dicks, and what you would do to thier mom |
| 5397 |
dolemite7 |
<GreetingsADM> |
and those sweet, sweet Grandma's cookies |
| 5396 |
timotab |
<anotherbofh> |
... I'm just here for the dick pics |
| 5395 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
you think if we drive my gf's new jeep cherokee down cherokee street we'll get a cherokee discount? |
| 5394 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
beards on women is now cool |
| 5393 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
mmm..sausage |
| 5392 |
DeliriumTremens |
<NeckMoustache> |
Yes, I ruined my mother's Christmas. |
| 5391 |
_Deity |
<Ellesta> |
How did you know it was chocolate, did you lick it? |
| 5390 |
dolemite7 |
<Ellesta> |
I once put my roommates lifeguard whistle in the toilet and promptly put it back in its place. |
| 5389 |
funkyb |
<NeckMoustache> |
Wtf, Evin, you have mouth butt herpes and you didn't warn me before rim jobs? |
| 5388 |
funkyb |
<ThatDeadDude> |
Doesn't sound fun to poop out of your back |
| 5387 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
the ol' waggly noodle party whistle |
| 5386 |
Omega037 |
<CoachMcGuirk> |
demophoon is also an affirmative action hire, i didnt assume he would know anything beyond that |
| 5385 |
bk |
<DeliriumTremens> |
if we had 4 people we could all be on the kitchen table |
| 5384 |
mdchap |
<Chewbaccer> |
I'm gonna get raped by a deer tonight |
| 5383 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
kiwi's crying face looks like it got a money shot in its eye |
| 5382 |
NefariousAMG |
<f1ngertoes> |
Oh frisv I'm an ambidextrous whacker :) |
| 5381 |
Omega037 |
<funkyb> |
TIL I work for your sister's babys daddy |
| 5380 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<misspwn> |
he's gona have to relearn how to jerk off |
| 5379 |
k27463 |
<DLbot> |
DeSJ2017 is a differently abled dischargetool. |
| 5378 |
frisv |
<k27463> |
1. i get addicted to EVERYTHING 2. I'm too poor to drink cause I spend all my money on trains |
| 5377 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
I'd rather punch people in the ass to fuck them. |
| 5376 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
f1ngertoes should get a captain hook attachment for his hand so he can get dildos attached to it and such |
| 5375 |
DeliriumTremens |
<mdchap> |
taking it in after work tomorrow |
| 5374 |
frisv |
<Merlin00> |
also, the best handjobs are the ones where you use your mouth |
| 5373 |
deity_phone |
<mdchap> |
waiting for my mouth to stop being numb so I can take meds without getting water everywhere |
| 5372 |
NefariousAMG |
<Omega037> |
i played dodgeball last week and ripped my pants in half |
| 5371 |
Deity|Phone |
<Omega037> |
my coworkers also wanted me to play soccer down in Manchester, but i think ill just hurt myself |
| 5370 |
Merlin00 |
<NeckMoustache> |
I guess I work out my abs while pegging. |
| 5369 |
mdchap |
<NeckMoustache> |
Eating out makes me think you're a boring fuck. |
| 5368 |
dolemite7 |
<Nyghtshade> |
If I were rich I'd make it my business to gentrify STL. |
| 5367 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
"i'm a _married man_ looking for a _married man_" |
| 5366 |
NefariousAMG |
<bbbeluga> |
You guys want to get laid or no? |
| 5365 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
I'm riding |
| 5364 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
you have to pay a lot of money to have something as stupid as raising the center of gravity for a stroller |
| 5363 |
_Deity |
<GreetingsADM> |
Yeah, you gotta throw away the cum dumpster every few years |
| 5362 |
monkers |
<Nyghtshade> |
Hey bing worked! |
| 5361 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
my mom is cheap |
| 5360 |
Omega037 |
<_Deity> |
triangles are usually associated with lesbians |
| 5359 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
i only accept big dick women |
| 5358 |
NefariousAMG |
<f1ngertoes> |
shut up Omega037 |
| 5357 |
NefariousAMG |
<kerouac> |
i'm drinking rye and smoking a joint in the doorway, letting the lighting flashes illuminate me like i'm humphrey bogart in key largo, and i look awesome doing it |
| 5356 |
bk |
<Ellesta> |
Sometimes you find things in crevices |
| 5355 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm the HAPpiest GIRL in the WHOOOOLE usa |
| 5354 |
mdchap |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i want to dip my balls in it |
| 5353 |
_Deity |
<NeckMoustache> |
Evin is a quality gay. |
| 5352 |
_Deity |
<mdchap> |
I'd suck a dude off for a mill |
| 5351 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
im not the one that needs soft pant caresses on my legs to be comfy |
| 5350 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<DigiGrl|wrk> |
Merlin00: our child better not have your bowels |
| 5349 |
bk |
<frisv> |
sushi_ is like the embodiment of ELI5 |
| 5348 |
introspectr |
<frisv> |
oh yeah, there's frisv in a lot of people |
| 5347 |
_Deity |
<Ellesta> |
I'm sure I'd like it |
| 5346 |
DeliriumTremens |
<mdchap> |
just ate a grape and i jizzed in my pants |
| 5345 |
Omega037 |
<mdchap> |
we should fuck each other's mothers |
| 5344 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
where are people going to park for the orgy |
| 5343 |
bk |
<CoachMcGuirk> |
bk, maybe it was 6 then, i dont know. all i remember is, it was a lot shorter than 9 |
| 5342 |
rdm |
<frisv> |
i like my men how i like my windows, hung and unresponsive |
| 5341 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm not sure what happened in that bathroom it smelled like shit. I don't mean "it smelled like someone recently dropped a bowl buster" kind of shit, but "shit out of water" shit. You know what I mean. |
| 5340 |
k27463 |
<Nerfdude> |
yeah, we'll murder a bunch of mcdonalds employees with fire |
| 5339 |
funkyb |
<mdchap> |
so I'm super nekkid |
| 5338 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
fuck my computer chair smells like sweaty ballsack |
| 5337 |
_Deity |
<mdchap> |
nobody's gonna grab that? |
| 5336 |
sushi_ |
<mdchap> |
I was bullied because of my CP |
| 5335 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
I smell bad |
| 5334 |
Evin |
<NefariousAMG> |
so this IS an orgy on friday? |
| 5333 |
frisv |
<mdchap> |
bbbeluga is going so we'll have a decent set of tits on the team |
| 5332 |
nerddtvg |
<NeckMoustache> |
Ugh, my sneezes are reminding me of Peach's hip bump attack in Super Smash. |
| 5331 |
_Deity |
<Merlin00> |
I plan on changing spark plugs in my tractor and picking stuff from the garden |
| 5330 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
99 problems but misspwn ain't one |
| 5329 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<Nerfdude> |
yeah your balls are a supermax prison, that's manly as fuck |
| 5328 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<Nerfdude> |
i need to solder my ball tubes |
| 5327 |
Nerfdude |
<Evin> |
Oh no I don't inhale cigar smoke, I thought we were talking about penis. |
| 5326 |
Nerfdude |
<bbbeluga> |
you are triggered all the fucking time, go make a tumblr and see who gives a fuck |
| 5325 |
Merlin00 |
<Nerfdude> |
i smoked a black and mild while driving around listening to the new dr dre album and now i have diarrhea |
| 5324 |
bk |
<Omega037> |
if you see a clear penis, then you know for sure |
| 5323 |
NefariousAMG |
<sushi_> |
no, xt has a very nice cock |
| 5322 |
monkers |
<CoachMcGuirk> |
nefarious i won nothing im a loser. |
| 5321 |
monkers |
<CoachMcGuirk> |
im a total loser |
| 5320 |
monkers |
<sushi_> |
i'm just an idiot, hurr durr |
| 5319 |
NefariousAMG |
<NeckMoustache> |
; w ; Electropop, come back to St. Louis so I can eat your dip forever. |
| 5318 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<NefariousAMG> |
it's nice to know people at a bar. |
| 5317 |
nerddtvg |
<monkers> |
did someone say anal? ^_^ |
| 5316 |
sushi_ |
<bk> |
can you quack like a duck when we fuck? |
| 5315 |
nerddtvg |
<Electropop> |
I can handle hot. I'll just get more naked. |
| 5314 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<monkers> |
ya'll are gay |
| 5313 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<demophoon> |
i'm not dumb sushi_ |
| 5312 |
bk |
<Ellesta> |
As long as I get the arm pits, vag, ass and underboob I'm great |
| 5311 |
Nyghtshade |
<mdchap> |
that's not an orgy. that's a gangbang |
| 5310 |
Nyghtshade |
<mdchap> |
I'd be up for an orgy |
| 5309 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<sushi_> |
what's 'hide the snake' |
| 5308 |
_Deity |
<monkers> |
nigga i just woke up |
| 5307 |
_Deity |
<DeliriumTremens> |
just guess i'm a r tard |
| 5306 |
_Deity |
<techlib> |
i only date chicks with masters degrees |
| 5305 |
_Deity |
<DeliriumTremens> |
misspwn: that's cause your ass is full of dicks |
| 5304 |
_Deity |
<techlib> |
dont' make me kill you all:) |
| 5303 |
Omega037 |
<techlib> |
the nigger michael brown was a thug that did a strong armed robbery and was killed justifiably |
| 5302 |
Omega037 |
<techlib> |
Obama says you will live next to niggers like Michael Brown |
| 5301 |
NefariousAMG |
<mdchap> |
I'd be a whore for probably a shamefully small amount of money |
| 5300 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
SHIT ON A DESK |
| 5299 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<bonkers> |
i put fagboy on ignore and your half convo's are perterbing me. |
| 5298 |
frisv |
<DLbot> |
It's a damn good thing brittbot doesn't know how much I hate his guts. |
| 5297 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<misspwn> |
DeliriumTremens: i am not responsible for your bowels |
| 5296 |
kerouac |
<mdchap> |
helicopter dick |
| 5295 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<rdm> |
I miss josh grobend |
| 5294 |
Nerfdude |
<bbbeluga> |
a butt in your balls?! |
| 5293 |
DeliriumTremens |
<NeckMoustache> |
I'll lick someone else's butthole but I'm not about to suck my butt molecules off their dick. |
| 5292 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
That's not a wireless mouse..... It's vibrating |
| 5291 |
DeliriumTremens |
<GreetingsADM> |
but that got too hard for me pretty quickly |
| 5290 |
k27463 |
<sushi_> |
i'm covered in pussy |
| 5289 |
bk |
<ThatDeadDude> |
I am a minority! woo! |
| 5288 |
bk |
<GreetingsADM> |
though I've never seen a hymena or a pyenis |
| 5287 |
bk |
<NeckMoustache> |
You told me I have a tuna can vagina. :( |
| 5286 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my father has electrified a surprising number of things around their cabin |
| 5285 |
k27463 |
<mdchap> |
its due to my heroin addiction |
| 5284 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
butt clenchingly fun |
| 5283 |
nerd|work |
<hydro|phone> |
please just leave my nips alone |
| 5282 |
bk |
<mdchap|OG> |
holy shit it's pouring. I'm so wet |
| 5281 |
funkyb |
<ThatDeadDude> |
monkers I've been deep in your state of mind the last week |
| 5280 |
Omega037 |
<bk> |
buy a couple of cheap cocks |
| 5279 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
implying the dong, but not specifically stating it |
| 5278 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
cant judge a flaccid penis |
| 5277 |
Merlin00 |
<k27464> |
and i don't want to work for a railroad |
| 5276 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Electropop> |
I love tiny little ones. >: |
| 5275 |
DeliriumTremens |
<scittles> |
really what i want to know though is why there's no michael brown beanie baby. |
| 5274 |
funkyb |
<ThatDeadDude> |
DICK SHOULD EAT A YOU |
| 5273 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
butt to face, butt to face, butt to face, butt to face |
| 5272 |
bk |
<secretninjaket> |
I'm bringing the meat tray... DILDOS FOR EVERYONE! |
| 5271 |
NefariousAMG |
<monkers> |
whenever i get banned im like... ughhh better jerk it |
| 5270 |
f1ngertoes |
<Merlin00> |
f1ngertoes has a point |
| 5269 |
introspectr |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Little does everyone realize that the true meaning of life is becoming comfortable with the sight of ones own butthole. |
| 5268 |
NefariousAMG |
<Evin> |
frisv should shave his bunghole so he doesn't have to power wash. |
| 5267 |
Nerfdude |
<brittbot> |
Nerfdude: monkers has 1 testicle. |
| 5266 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
is the butthole shaved? |
| 5265 |
funkyb |
<k27464> |
Party is short on monkeys |
| 5264 |
mdchap |
<kerouac> |
i want to don a portable cheetah butt |
| 5263 |
GreetingsADM |
<NeckMoustache> |
I suck out the warm gooey insides and then crunch on the exterior. |
| 5262 |
Chewbaccer |
<f1ngertoes> |
I'd suck her dick |
| 5261 |
bk |
<mdchap> |
that's a hot tranny then |
| 5260 |
Electrohwk |
<bk> |
how are 61 people going to fit in your vagina misspwn |
| 5259 |
sushi_ |
<DeliriumTremens> |
lets all get high and fuck some sluts |
| 5258 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG> |
don't open the file that says 'p0rn' |
| 5257 |
nerddtvg |
<DigiGrl|Wrk> |
monkers: sounds like you are getting a date tonight |
| 5256 |
k27463 |
<DigiGrl|Wrk> |
yes I am older, older and wiser.. muhahaha |
| 5255 |
introspectr |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i only read penthouse |
| 5254 |
DeliriumTremens |
<k27463> |
so had help getting it in and stuff |
| 5253 |
nerd|gone |
<mdchap> |
EVERYTHING IS AWFUL! EVERYTHING SUCKS WHEN YOU'RE NOT ON A TEAM! |
| 5252 |
mdchap |
<k27463> |
after the internet, real life is kinda meh |
| 5251 |
Merlin00 |
<bbbeluga> |
i mean we totally need some more custom reporting people in our lives |
| 5250 |
misspwn |
<Electropop> |
... |
| 5249 |
mdchap |
<f1ngertoes> |
the skullet lives on in spirit |
| 5248 |
nerddtvg |
<Electrobrah> |
God. being a girl sucks |
| 5247 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now |
| 5246 |
NefariousAMG |
<bk> |
15 foot python in my pants |
| 5245 |
Electropop |
<mdchap> |
I'll show you a 15 foot python ;) |
| 5244 |
bk |
<dolemite7> |
"squirting" is just a classy way to say "i got fucked until i pissed myself" |
| 5243 |
Nerfdude |
<f1ngertoes> |
guys guys my girlfriend just OD'd I put ice up her ass and pussy what do I do now |
| 5242 |
scittles |
<monkers> |
sometimes i wish i worked in a factory in china. |
| 5241 |
||cw |
<DeliriumTremens> |
You made me groan before I even had my coffee. |
| 5240 |
bk |
<Nerfdude> |
i ate half a sausage biscuit i found in my truck this morning and now i'm a poop machine |
| 5239 |
rdm |
<Electropop> |
I wasnt going to touch your shit. |
| 5238 |
Electropop |
<DeliriumTremens> |
yah last time misspwn didnt shave her knees our house ended up with melted siding |
| 5237 |
Merlin00 |
<kerouac> |
time to put on some fresh balls |
| 5236 |
rdm |
<scittles> |
we need to go deeper |
| 5235 |
k27463 |
<Evin> |
Woah. Woah. I have never knowingly put my dick into frisv's mouth that he is aware of. |
| 5234 |
DeliriumTremens |
<NeckMoustache> |
Put your dick in his mouth one last time before you put on the black bag. |
| 5233 |
monkersLovesXT |
<Merlin00> |
Omega037's people invented comedy |
| 5232 |
Merlin00 |
<_xt> |
as they walked in, they nervously said THANK YOU, knowing they were THANKING ME FOR THEIR RAPE, to which I grinend and said , its my PRIVILEGE |
| 5231 |
_Deity |
<AbbyBorden> |
_Diety is. The best. |
| 5230 |
k27463 |
<Merlin00> |
I'll get foreign exchange students and threaten them with deportation if they fuck up |
| 5229 |
nerddtvg |
<spotmonk> |
2939sq feet? that'd take me like a whole week to cover it in semen |
| 5228 |
Nerfdude |
<bbbeluga> |
Your mom sucks my dick |
| 5227 |
Merlin00 |
<mdchap> |
you guys are dicks |
| 5226 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
vegan virgins who live at home only interested in sex and politics is not the way to a womans heart |
| 5225 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
Known as the Sleeping Pokémon, Omega037 has been said to weigh over 1,000 pounds and for a time was considered the heaviest known Pokémon. |
| 5224 |
_Deity |
<AbbyBorden> |
I'll use my mouth to expand something. |
| 5223 |
k27463 |
<anotherbofh> |
or tell people to bring you a scoop of their crap and find one you like |
| 5222 |
funkyb |
<kerouac> |
not really |
| 5221 |
offDaHeezy |
<bk> |
the doctors advised your family to keep love as far as possible from you |
| 5220 |
k27463 |
<secretninjaket> |
If you have food bbs, try pooping? |
| 5219 |
offDaHeezy |
<GreetingsADM> |
Bang Caboose |
| 5218 |
k27463 |
<misspwn> |
my first words to dt were "hi fgt" |
| 5217 |
k27463 |
<secretninjaket> |
I'm trying to be like somewhat of an adult |
| 5216 |
offDaHeezy |
<Omega037> |
why has the price of balloons gone up? inflation |
| 5215 |
brandon_ |
<frisv> |
maybe it's cause you smell like provel |
| 5214 |
Merlin00 |
<k27463> |
have train stuff to do :D |
| 5213 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
nerdiest nerd this side of the nerdissippi |
| 5212 |
nerd|work |
<k27463> |
nerd|work is the best nerd |
| 5211 |
rdm |
<f1ngertoes> |
so when she bends over it says mom but when she's on her back it says WOW |
| 5210 |
rdm |
<f1ngertoes> |
I want my future gf to get an M tattoo'd on each butt cheek |
| 5209 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
I pop collars and pop() arrays |
| 5208 |
dolemite7 |
<rdm> |
Sometimes when I poop at work, I make loud sounds, then fake cry |
| 5207 |
NefAMG |
<frisv> |
gf has still not confirmed she has received my poop |
| 5206 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i hope to one day join the taco elite |
| 5205 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i am so sending a taco followed by poop |
| 5204 |
mdchap |
<DeliriumTremens> |
this bacon is spittin more than yo mom during a 3am handjob |
| 5203 |
NefAMG |
<ThatDeadDude> |
who doesn't associate uteri with bacon? |
| 5202 |
rdm |
<Nyghtshade> |
Do me! |
| 5201 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
its like a neck wrap thing but it fits other places (it looks super weird when i put it under my boobs but no one is usually home and it stays close to my heart stop judging) |
| 5200 |
_Deity |
<k27463> |
i'm basically a cat |
| 5199 |
_Deity |
<rdm> |
and I'm willing to pay for it |
| 5198 |
rdm |
<NeckMoustache> |
rdm, you're the coolest and definitely not the least bit annoying. |
| 5197 |
k27463 |
<NeckMoustache> |
You can pump me full of something. c: |
| 5196 |
frisv |
<mdchap> |
I just measure it. 11 inches |
| 5195 |
k27463 |
<Evin> |
First I have to seduce the hubs, then scittles will just come tumbling after. |
| 5194 |
Evin |
<scittles> |
what's wrong with semen and cheese |
| 5193 |
k27463 |
<Evin> |
True story. Lots of things not good for me; staying out late, getting up early, eating copious amounts of cheese, eating copious amounts of semen; but sometimes you just do things. |
| 5192 |
nerd|work |
<Electropop> |
I'll sneak it in my shirt! |
| 5191 |
rdm |
<mdchap> |
because you touch yourself at night |
| 5190 |
MagicMike |
<f2ngertoes> |
dt it ain't big... but it's LONG |
| 5189 |
k27463 |
<Ellesta> |
How do you slip it into their juice boxes? |
| 5188 |
Electropop |
<bk> |
I've got nipples, DTbot, can you milk me? |
| 5187 |
nerddtvg |
<k27463> |
everybody loves nerd |
| 5186 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY |
| 5185 |
k27463 |
<NeckMoustache> |
I give all of my fucks to charity, so I don't have any to spare. |
| 5184 |
nerddtvg |
<introspectr> |
i read a nicolas sparks book once :( |
| 5183 |
bk |
<NefariousAMG> |
usually we'll get in 3 4 |
| 5182 |
DeliriumTremens |
<NefariousAMG> |
except it's teeny and hard to get used to |
| 5181 |
mdchap |
<Electropop> |
I just moaned scittles |
| 5180 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
(cheesecake porn) |
| 5179 |
k27463 |
<NeckMoustache> |
I don't remember wearing pants. |
| 5178 |
_Deity |
<monkers> |
but chank comes in here like once a fuckin eon to ban me and thats about all he's good for. |
| 5177 |
nerd|work |
<frisv> |
saw "head" and "blow" and was disappointed |
| 5176 |
_Deity |
<CrazyCatCat> |
_Deity is a sexy old fat guy |
| 5175 |
bk |
<Electropop> |
I JUST GET EXCITED FOR SOMETHING REALLY DUMB |
| 5174 |
DeliriumTremens |
<scittles> |
yes i am tarded |
| 5173 |
bk |
<Evin> |
You should never put actual wood in your vagina. |
| 5172 |
DeliriumTremens |
<GreetingsADM> |
I need a forehead diaper |
| 5171 |
NefariousAMG |
<questions> |
Y'all are immature as hell |
| 5170 |
Electropop |
<bk> |
I'm not saying she's loose from having sex... mostly because she had to fit Evin's massive head out of her vagina |
| 5169 |
DeliriumTremens |
<ajwalsh44> |
i need one of them things for my usb vibrator |
| 5168 |
ThatDeadDude |
<NeckMoustache> |
I don't have semen. :( |
| 5167 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
just wrap your balls in saran so they can't touch |
| 5166 |
Evin |
<NeckMoustache> |
It doesn't count until your balls drop. |
| 5165 |
NefariousAMG |
<Omega037> |
but clearly im hitler |
| 5164 |
sushi_ |
<bk> |
if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my trains |
| 5163 |
nerd|phone |
<introspectr> |
when is it not a good time to roll in deer shit!?!? |
| 5162 |
anotherbofh |
<AbbyBorden> |
Well, NOW I'm aroused. |
| 5161 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<f1ngertoes> |
I'd apologize but apologies trigger me, personally |
| 5160 |
mdchap |
<elle|mobile> |
Luckily it's mostly eggs so it slid right down. Giggity. |
| 5159 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
who gyms in pants |
| 5158 |
Electropop |
<bk> |
bedtime banana is my nickname for muh dick |
| 5157 |
nerddtvg |
<bk> |
and a REAL PENIS |
| 5156 |
timotab |
<nerd|phone> |
I make babies |
| 5155 |
bk |
<NefariousAMG> |
because we couldn't be friends if you liked fat Jews |
| 5154 |
bk |
<Electropop> |
man thats too small for me. |
| 5153 |
DeliriumTremens |
<newhere> |
i can't lick my genitals so... I have to interact with other people |
| 5152 |
sushiiii |
<DeliriumTremens> |
crackhead puppet shows in the parking lot are the worst |
| 5151 |
k27463 |
<sushiiii> |
what? i totally identify as a poo kin |
| 5150 |
_Deity |
<bk> |
vaginaspider |
| 5149 |
CoachMcGuirk |
<bk> |
well, you're as terrible a human as you are a bot |
| 5148 |
Electropop |
<bk> |
50 Cent is going to drink tomorrow because he's upset about filing for bankruptcy |
| 5147 |
dolemite7 |
<Omega037> |
like someone who is 19 thinks "I'm an adult and I know everything. I don't need to listen to anyone." |
| 5146 |
dolemite7 |
<Omega037> |
work will set you free |
| 5145 |
bk |
<MagicMike01> |
RDM YOU HAVE SO MUCH SEX I NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GONNA SHOW UP |
| 5144 |
bk |
<Merlin00> |
yes, it is small |
| 5143 |
rdm |
<bbbeluga> |
ps MagicMike did you get it in |
| 5142 |
_Deity |
<Omega037> |
i had trouble in that shower alone |
| 5141 |
Merlin00 |
<Electropop> |
I like my legs being touched. |
| 5140 |
kerouac |
<monkers> |
sexy monkey |
| 5139 |
DeliriumTremens |
<demophoon> |
i have not played with it yet |
| 5138 |
sushiiii |
<Electropop> |
a hot stump |
| 5137 |
Electropop |
<scittles> |
too bad it wasn't, i need excuses to turn around in his driveway _ |
| 5136 |
mdchap01 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
man i've got a big ol' squiggly turd bullet in my chamber that i'm gonna have to fire off soon |
| 5135 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
yeah that grundle needs updating |
| 5134 |
NefariousAMG |
<ThatDeadDude> |
Who doesn't love a little human trafficking? |
| 5133 |
NefariousAMG |
<spotmonk> |
I have the cleanest asshole this side of the mississippi |
| 5132 |
mdchap |
<spotmonk> |
will you peg me, AbbyBorden? |
| 5131 |
monkers |
<spotmonk> |
i try to climb into the girl i stalk's bed around an hour after she goes to sleep |
| 5130 |
bk |
<NefariousAMG> |
I don't want to put on pants and go get propane though. |
| 5129 |
bk |
<NefariousAMG> |
we usually talk about food, poop, sex, music, or computers in here |
| 5128 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Electropop> |
bk comes out of nowhere |
| 5127 |
Electropop |
<scittles> |
free abortions in recognition of amazon prime day |
| 5126 |
_Deity |
<newhere> |
*polishes something else |
| 5125 |
bk |
<AbbyBorden> |
i have more than enough holes if you know what I mean. |
| 5124 |
nerddtvg |
<mdchap> |
I'm just an exhibitionist |
| 5123 |
mdchap |
<AbbyBorden> |
Let me upload the one of me getting gangbanged. it shows my best angle. |
| 5122 |
kerouac |
<Electropop> |
dick is good. |
| 5121 |
mdchap |
<f1ngertoes> |
Ryan Seacrest can surf a piece of plywood up my ass |
| 5120 |
k27463 |
<CoachMcGuirk> |
deity is basically a male stripper |
| 5119 |
mdchap01 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i wear misspwns cat stockings |
| 5118 |
Nerfdude |
<Omega037> |
tell your mom that your vagina already has a bunch of cocks scheduled so you dont think you can fit him in |
| 5117 |
bk |
<bbbeluga> |
i like how some whales are so bumpy |
| 5116 |
bk |
<hydro> |
couldn't they have at least chubbed them up first |
| 5115 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
i mean that i dont have a penis or testicles to impregnate anyone with |
| 5114 |
_Deity |
<monkers> |
play with me! |
| 5113 |
bk |
<Effinwha> |
As long as there's high speed internet and I don't die, I'll be fine. |
| 5112 |
mdchap |
<k27463> |
DeliriumTremens lets do it |
| 5111 |
_Deity |
<hydro> |
nobody wants to !grab a dick |
| 5110 |
f1ngertoes |
<mdchap> |
I'm too sexy to wear clothes |
| 5109 |
k27463 |
<Merlin00> |
if I'm doing anything that will result in my balls sticking to my leg, I wear boxer briefs |
| 5108 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
I just got out of the shower at the right time |
| 5107 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
So the arch is much like your mom? |
| 5106 |
monkers |
<sushi__> |
basically, stubbornness is not so good after a while |
| 5105 |
NefariousAMG |
<f1ngertoes> |
Yeah right, like the moment I find ANY pussy I'm gonna just hand it over. I'll keep that shit for myself kthx |
| 5104 |
mdchap01 |
<Electropop> |
Slowest pull out ever. |
| 5103 |
Nerfdude |
<CoachMcGuirk> |
if i could get that high quality heroin in a soldiers coffin heroin, tahtd be great |
| 5102 |
NefariousAMG |
<Omega037> |
id rather one had a cock |
| 5101 |
Omega037 |
<CoachMcGuirk> |
anal love |
| 5100 |
_thelaw |
<kerouac> |
thing is huge |
| 5099 |
mdchap |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my pee looked like a jagged #2 pencil |
| 5098 |
mdchap |
<DeliriumTremens> |
OH MY GOD IT SOUNDED LIKE A WET LOG BEING SHOT OUT OF A WATERSLIDE |
| 5097 |
mdchap |
<f2ngertoes> |
it's sorta wet, but i can bring some gasoline and light that bitch up |
| 5096 |
mdchap |
<f2ngertoes> |
yeah, i got wood |
| 5095 |
NefariousAMG |
<secretninjaket> |
Sandwiches are not dicks though |
| 5094 |
anotherbofh |
<f1ngertoes> |
but it definitely smells like dead fucking animal |
| 5093 |
_Deity |
<sushiiii> |
i think im actually sobering up |
| 5092 |
_thelaw |
<kerouac> |
i may be a dick soon |
| 5091 |
_Deity |
<k27463> |
wrist gets stiff and just won't move |
| 5090 |
f1ngertoes |
<mdchap> |
props to any woman that can pee in a butt |
| 5089 |
Merlin00 |
<_thelaw> |
im so brown |
| 5088 |
_Deity |
<Omega037> |
cuz i spit hot fire |
| 5087 |
_Deity |
<Omega037> |
you need to learn a softer touch, like _Deity, xt, or me |
| 5086 |
Electropop |
<_Deity> |
deep in the vag |
| 5085 |
sushiii |
<monkers> |
whereas i am a gentle flower. |
| 5084 |
bk |
<Omega037> |
also, the fact that historically we did something doesnt mean its the best diet for us |
| 5083 |
bk |
<secretninjaket> |
Glad to know my smile reminds you of the joker killing people |
| 5082 |
_thelaw |
<secretninjaket> |
I'm a scientist not a computer expert |
| 5081 |
f1ngertoes |
<mdchap> |
Omega037 is so fucking sexy |
| 5080 |
spotmonk |
<NefariousAMG> |
I like to watch. I don't play |
| 5079 |
_Deity |
<spotmonk> |
go off by yourself and blow a load on her favorite shirt |
| 5078 |
_Deity |
<bbbeluga> |
except greetings, he's great |
| 5077 |
SillyGoose |
<bk> |
"finger sleeve" is the size of condoms that _Deity uses |
| 5076 |
nerd|work |
<Tumblrina> |
but im still the creepy old guy. |
| 5075 |
frisv |
<bbbeluga> |
if i can shove em in there and they stay for the most part, i'm keeping it |
| 5074 |
bk |
<spotmonk> |
I don't want to talk to omega, all he talks about is his time in japan and impregnating his wife |
| 5073 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
God LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME SEX |
| 5072 |
bbbeluga |
<f2ngertoes> |
fun fun |
| 5071 |
_Deity |
<hydro> |
vagina bubbles are your butt's way of telling your vagina secrets |
| 5070 |
nerd|games |
<mdchap01> |
So many drugs and tits |
| 5069 |
Omega037|Work |
<monkers> |
some smug faggot. |
| 5068 |
kerouac |
<mdchap01> |
scittles hows the mouth |
| 5067 |
funkyb |
<axe9|work> |
DeliriumTremens just go into #linux and assert your dominance by stating "I get to have the sex on a regular basis, bow to me for I am now your leader" |
| 5066 |
funkyb |
<_Deity> |
your micropenis is almost that big (so danielle says), you should have some experience with that |
| 5065 |
bk |
<bbbeluga> |
My dna shall live in the sewer |
| 5064 |
mdchap01 |
<DigiGrl|wrk> |
I LOVE MEAT |
| 5063 |
DeliriumTremens |
<scittles> |
i want a black baby ;( |
| 5062 |
bk |
<Omega037> |
ill try to find a pic without her on a cock |
| 5061 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
im a cheap date |
| 5060 |
k27463 |
<f1ngertoes> |
Omega037:chairs::monkers:women |
| 5059 |
TriggerWarning |
<NefariousAMG> |
I mean, I'd like to have a boyfriend |
| 5058 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
misspwn paint me like wanna of your french ladies |
| 5057 |
mdchap |
<Electropop> |
You guys are rubbing off on me |
| 5056 |
bk |
<Electropop> |
You dont just show up and be like "I WANNA SHOOT YOU" |
| 5055 |
Omega037 |
<mdchap> |
yeah I'd put my face in dat ass |
| 5054 |
Omega037 |
<mdchap> |
yeah I'm actually 7 years old |
| 5053 |
_Deity |
<Omega037> |
i wish i could come, but im going to a baby party |
| 5052 |
_Deity |
<mdchap01> |
Yeah I've tried facials and she was like... Never again |
| 5051 |
f3ngertoes |
<Nyghtshade> |
f3ngertoes dream girl is Doctor Girlfriend |
| 5050 |
_Deity |
<f3ngertoes> |
"hidden like Tupac" is just a euphemism for "dead" |
| 5049 |
_Deity |
<MerlinPhn> |
Deep |
| 5048 |
NefariousAMG |
<hydro> |
when i think glory hole, i'm thinking mouths |
| 5047 |
NefariousAMG |
<Omega037> |
bk, i actually run three of the largest sites on an internet |
| 5046 |
nerddtvg |
<spotmonk> |
better just stay home and masturbate |
| 5045 |
nerddtvg |
<spotmonk> |
I only fuck hot dead people |
| 5044 |
Notbrad |
<Omega037> |
i have money |
| 5043 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
they're SO WRINKLED |
| 5042 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
brb gotta poop in a washing machine |
| 5041 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
you can find anything on the internet, guys |
| 5040 |
Notbrad |
<secretninjaket> |
If you come to trivia or karaoke you can honk my boobs! Offer only to Notbrad |
| 5039 |
NefariousAMG |
<frisv> |
if i get a raise equal to my negotiating, i will have a party |
| 5038 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i just learned i have tex mex herpes |
| 5037 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
poop smoothies |
| 5036 |
NefariousAMG |
<spotmonk> |
I'd have gotten STD tests between partners, but the doctors don't want to see me more than once or twice a week |
| 5035 |
NefariousAMG |
<spotmonk> |
going to the doctor isn't like getting laid. you shouldn't be that excited to get your vag touched |
| 5034 |
bbbeluga |
<hawkgpg> |
deity knows so much women's health he's practically a republican |
| 5033 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
We learned at monkers party that eating a lot of watermelon can give you more powerful erections later in the day. |
| 5032 |
DeliriumTremens |
<mdc> |
but yeah it's pretty huge |
| 5031 |
frisv |
<DeliriumTremens> |
misspwn did a longer one that paid like $200 |
| 5030 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
big jaw dt they call him |
| 5029 |
scittles |
<bbbeluga> |
i want to marry a dog and a man |
| 5028 |
_Deity |
<NefariousAMG> |
I'm never prepared for the heart attack that he gives me. |
| 5027 |
bk |
<_Deity> |
worst case scenario I have a fist |
| 5026 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
our inspector said ours work surprisingly well and were in great condition considering their age |
| 5025 |
bk |
<Electropop> |
Its either my brother are going to cuddle, or someone is sleeping on the couch. |
| 5024 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
You wanna be naked? |
| 5023 |
Electropop |
<happyincolor> |
they are very courteous and stay off the bed for the whole minute spotmonk lasts |
| 5022 |
nerd|work |
<GreetingsADM> |
No thanks, Deer Fucking Expo is the same weekend |
| 5021 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spif> |
the issue is that people were bringing it in because it wasn't banned in the park then pulling it out while on the rides |
| 5020 |
GreetingsADM |
<NefariousAMG> |
but I know a ton of people up there. I'm like the Spif of that bar. |
| 5019 |
ktrains |
<GreetingsADM> |
I had to go watch my niece poop in the pool instead |
| 5018 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
stupid quote % has now increased from 95% to 96% |
| 5017 |
k27463 |
<_Deity> |
kthx |
| 5016 |
spif |
<Merlin00> |
I haven't shit my pants since I was like 10 |
| 5015 |
_Deity |
<NefariousAMG> |
we left meatspin on my friend's mom's computer once while they were out of town. She was not happy |
| 5014 |
||cw |
<dolemite7> |
as experienced as i am with inserting objects into other spread objects |
| 5013 |
NefariousAMG |
<spotmonk> |
I assume I let BK cum on my face and then beat my teeth out on his knee |
| 5012 |
timotab |
<rdm> |
so you want to cyber? |
| 5011 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
Chris took good care of me last night |
| 5010 |
Merlin00 |
<Electropop> |
I had sex last night |
| 5009 |
nerd|work |
<barro> |
time to deliver small women to baton practice. |
| 5008 |
funkyb |
<entangledphoton> |
do my balls taste like cancer to you? |
| 5007 |
frisv |
<DeliriumTremens> |
how does one motorboat a man |
| 5006 |
spif |
<ThatDeadDude> |
hot girl needs to have a regular ass watering otherwise it withers and dies |
| 5005 |
_Deity |
<ThatDeadDude> |
nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say but nothing comes out when they move their lips just a bunch of lua shit and motherfuckers act like they forgot about _dei |
| 5004 |
k27463 |
<f1ngertoes> |
what if I got desj's face tattooed on my anus? |
| 5003 |
bbbeluga |
<misspwn> |
but a big red box in the wall beeps all day |
| 5002 |
mdchap01 |
<barro> |
I just want jesus out of my butthole |
| 5001 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
stop commenting on my snug asshole |
| 5000 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I think I'm going on an all taco diet. |
| 4999 |
Nerfdude |
<hydro> |
every vagina might as well be a penis |
| 4998 |
spif |
<frisv> |
Gdi I just burned my weiners |
| 4997 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
i'm gonna put so much lettuce on your hot dog |
| 4996 |
DeSJ2017 |
<f1ngertoes> |
I like to fuck ladies |
| 4995 |
DeliriumTremens |
<NefariousAMG> |
I put in like 8 things last week. |
| 4994 |
k27463 |
<introspectr> |
why is frisv suddenly the smug asshole? and how can i take the title from him? |
| 4993 |
DeliriumTremens |
<mdchap01> |
holy shit I need that in my mouth |
| 4992 |
nerd|work |
<||cw> |
bk's gonna give us 5 inches |
| 4991 |
Merlin00 |
<mdchap01> |
We all know lebron now that we saw his dick on national television |
| 4990 |
nerd|skewl |
<bk> |
TIL nerd|skewl wants channing tatum bad |
| 4989 |
k27463 |
<anotherbofh> |
yeah... it's the same gender, but now I'll have two dicks |
| 4988 |
Merlin00 |
<bbbeluga> |
k27463: my answer for everything you say is going to be get a different job |
| 4987 |
nerddtvg |
<||cw> |
add flames, lose pubes |
| 4986 |
_thelaw |
<misspwn> |
i vape dicks |
| 4985 |
bk |
<k27463> |
my organ buddy is playing organ at that game |
| 4984 |
NefariousAMG |
<frisv> |
it's hard to fart unless i'm standing |
| 4983 |
spif |
<frisv> |
i don't think my sphincter works when i'm horizontal |
| 4982 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
...I mean maybe frisv penis has a lot of cum, and thats what he meant. |
| 4981 |
||cw |
<barro> |
no. but i also need my butthole enlarged by 10mm. |
| 4980 |
bk |
<bbbeluga> |
I GIVE ONLY UNIQUE EXPERIENCES |
| 4979 |
Nyghtshade |
<timotab> |
NefariousAMG: you had an erroneous period |
| 4978 |
anotherbofh |
<NefAMG|sing> |
I have enough porn |
| 4977 |
timotab |
<Chewbaccer> |
It's ok. You can touch it If I ever actually come to a trivia night |
| 4976 |
Omega037 |
<Electropop> |
Im going to shoot her and her hubby in a few weeks. |
| 4975 |
_Deity |
<bbbeluga> |
your bedroom is probably the bestest, eh |
| 4974 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
get some decent tires for all your prius c burnouts |
| 4973 |
Merlin00 |
<NefariousAMG> |
I guess if I want a relationship, I'm gonna have to pay for it. |
| 4972 |
_Deity |
<sushiiii> |
now i feel really dumb |
| 4971 |
kerouac |
<frisv> |
everyone dies in alton |
| 4970 |
NefariousAMG |
<frisv> |
WHAT'S A MAN GOTTA DO FOR SOME CREAM AROUND HERE |
| 4969 |
_Deity |
<grobend> |
If I was in a room with _Deity, Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden, a gun & 2 bullets, I would shoot _Deity twice |
| 4968 |
Electropop |
<kerouac> |
i got your 4 inches of blowing magic right here |
| 4967 |
DeSJ2017 |
<NefariousAMG> |
it's not gay unless balls are touching |
| 4966 |
DeSJ2017 |
<hooblehoff> |
poop cup them rdm |
| 4965 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
JOIN BITCHES WHERE BOOBS = MAX_NUM; |
| 4964 |
_Deity |
<NefariousAMG> |
what, I'm too stupid to know that |
| 4963 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
now i want a tiny umbrella tattoo |
| 4962 |
frisv |
<f1ngertoes> |
pinball. I'm sure it's the finest entertainment in South Roxana next to meth |
| 4961 |
bk |
<_thelaw> |
do you always schedule your sexy times for trivia night? |
| 4960 |
_Deity |
<spif> |
I'm just lazy |
| 4959 |
funkyb |
<f2ngertoes> |
https://scontent ord1 1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos xpa1/v/t1.0 9/10421313_902687133123016_6684118741558593908_n.jpg?oh=89ca9a1eec7250a7f19c685c60db2132&oe=55FB2694 |
| 4958 |
spif |
<anotherbofh> |
...butt stuff? |
| 4957 |
_Deity |
<monkers> |
i wanna see yer trains |
| 4956 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
I'M A PANCAKE FUCKING MASTER |
| 4955 |
f2ngertoes |
<bbbeluga> |
i need some meat |
| 4954 |
Omega037 |
<sushi_> |
id like to have sex with a girl with beef curtains |
| 4953 |
grobend |
<sushi_> |
if you can lose weight so fast why dont you start now? maybe in a few months you could be considered a human being |
| 4952 |
grobend |
<Omega037> |
? |
| 4951 |
Omega037 |
<grobend> |
DTbot why dont yu suck my cock you fucxking nigger faggot jew pig |
| 4950 |
f2ngertoes |
<grobend> |
IM DRUNK COME GET YOUR LIL SISTER OVER HERE |
| 4949 |
sushi_ |
<_Deity> |
cmon, show those amazing breasticles off |
| 4948 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
i was squished in the back of a tiny sedan between two sisters |
| 4947 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
PIZZA'S NOT FOR BREAKFAST! *removes belt* |
| 4946 |
scittles |
<frisv> |
she better like penis trains. daddy ain't raising no lesbian |
| 4945 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
im the only reasonable person here |
| 4944 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
Kate Upton, will you autograph my dick for me? |
| 4943 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
Nyghtshade are you sure it was your girlfriend and not like... a moldy cantelope |
| 4942 |
||cw |
<frisv> |
can you handle this much python? |
| 4941 |
Omega037 |
<Merlin00> |
a.k.a. the rape cellar |
| 4940 |
_Deity |
<_thelaw> |
lets ship the body parts to ecuador bit by bit |
| 4939 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
I like my women how I like my wine: white and cheaper than gas |
| 4938 |
k27463 |
<sushiiii> |
_Deity: you should live in my closet. ill take you out and play with you sometimes. then put you away. |
| 4937 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
if you dont i will |
| 4936 |
rdm |
<f2ngertoes> |
as a straight gay man you learn the art of discretion quickly |
| 4935 |
_Deity |
<rdm> |
my butt doesn't even hurt |
| 4934 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
If I ever quit a job I wanna strip my clothes and walk out naked. |
| 4933 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
I think I'd rather read about genocide |
| 4932 |
k27463 |
<ThatDeadDude> |
why does scittles love hubs? |
| 4931 |
funkyb |
<NefariousAMG|job> |
I need to teach a class on how to not to be dumb |
| 4930 |
k27463 |
<Merlin00> |
I feel like I want to give Electropop advice, but I don't know how to tell her in a way that seems reasonable to stop being young and making mistakes |
| 4929 |
Merlin00 |
<k27463> |
that leave more to the imagination |
| 4928 |
nerd|skewl |
<dolemite7> |
one person's gross is another person's breakfast |
| 4927 |
_Deity |
<_thelaw> |
dont let people look at yo boobs!unless you want them to |
| 4926 |
bk |
<k27463> |
we were crammed in the back as it was |
| 4925 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
i'd eat one |
| 4924 |
_Deity |
<||cw> |
_Deity and xt are the hot ones? |
| 4923 |
||cw |
<Merlin00> |
I may be able to do both |
| 4922 |
k27463 |
<xxxt> |
sushiii, no, i try to commit a crime per day |
| 4921 |
frisv |
<dolemite7> |
i went to the penguindome at the zoo a few weeks ago and it smelled exactly like the asian supermarkets on olive |
| 4920 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
the only person who _Deity doesn't think sucks is _Deity |
| 4919 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
your mom has an uncontrollable vibrator |
| 4918 |
Omega037 |
<Nerfdude> |
i was watching homoerotic hugfighting |
| 4917 |
sushi_ |
<Nyghtshade> |
who's vag was so long she could suck it. |
| 4916 |
k27463 |
<Nyghtshade> |
Only I have a penis. |
| 4915 |
spif |
<Omega037> |
and my cock aint that big |
| 4914 |
frisv |
<rspectr> |
someone forgot to tell my landlord i stink |
| 4913 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
they used children to sharpen the police unit |
| 4912 |
spif |
<frisv> |
... thats like the second straight bungventriloquist in a row |
| 4911 |
k27463 |
<Nerfdude> |
totally worth it, that's a whole day of hitting girls in the face |
| 4910 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
haha i read genetically modified orgasms |
| 4909 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
yeah Ive been shooting surfers.. |
| 4908 |
dolemite7 |
<_thelaw> |
even if you dont require a blended taco. youll get it! |
| 4907 |
nerd|skewl |
<brittbot> |
http //brittbot.brittg.com/f0b4404f.png |
| 4906 |
nerd|skewl |
<Notbrad> |
can we take a minute to hate on the blacks? |
| 4905 |
k27463 |
<DigiGrl|wrk> |
NefariousAMG|job: I'm sorry to hear about your resting bitch face. |
| 4904 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
too many people die in the scottrade center |
| 4903 |
NefariousAMG|job |
<k27463> |
i'm really in the mood |
| 4902 |
nerd|work |
<k27463> |
yeah i'm not the biggest fan of meat |
| 4901 |
nerd|work |
<dolemite7> |
coughing so bad i farted in my cube. had to clear out and lay low for awhile |
| 4900 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
i wish i had a script for insulin for mary |
| 4899 |
_Deity |
<f1ngertoes> |
cause I fucked him in the ass and he liked it |
| 4898 |
k27463 |
<rikkitikki> |
I'm basically a grandma sloth |
| 4897 |
bbbeluga |
<bk> |
rikki loves the meat |
| 4896 |
funkyb |
<rikkitikki> |
I should probably go to a doctor again one day |
| 4895 |
_Deity |
<Nyghtshade> |
Where I could excercise draconian authority and make children bow before my Might. |
| 4894 |
_Deity |
<sushiiii> |
i love how this cream comes out of the tube. its just so &. magical |
| 4893 |
sushi_ |
<Omega037> |
sushi_, i clean it sometimes |
| 4892 |
_Deity |
<f2ngertoes> |
0% rapist |
| 4891 |
NefariousAMG |
<monkers> |
kids are smelly |
| 4890 |
bk |
<Omega037> |
we dont really go into the city |
| 4889 |
Omega037 |
<grobend> |
I DO NOT LIKE NIGGERS. |
| 4888 |
_Deity |
<Derfnude> |
I am here for homoerotic wrestling |
| 4887 |
Omega037 |
<sushi_> |
is it supposed to like.. entice me to go towards the cock? |
| 4886 |
rikkitikki |
<hydro> |
SEE, I PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT WOMEN SAY |
| 4885 |
_Deity |
<grobend> |
Should I masturbate in front of my dad, or nah? |
| 4884 |
NefariousAMG|job |
<scittles> |
so you're just sucking on skittle flavored what exactly? |
| 4883 |
introspectr3 |
<NefariousAMG|job> |
no, but next time I go down, I will for sure. |
| 4882 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
NO, NOW I DO THANKS TO YOU |
| 4881 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i'm going to burn down alton if you don't come |
| 4880 |
bk |
<bbbeluga> |
girls are silly, boys are dumb, its really a wonder any of us end up doing it |
| 4879 |
rdm |
<k27463> |
#showerthoughts |
| 4878 |
_Deity |
<grobend> |
I like dick |
| 4877 |
NefariousAMG |
<bbbeluga_> |
GIRLS DONT WANT DICK PICS |
| 4876 |
Omega037 |
<secretninjaket> |
I totally crop dusted my coworker after he was super mean to me |
| 4875 |
monkers |
<secretninjaket> |
I mean I'm a late bloomer and most of you have probably had more than me |
| 4874 |
Evin |
<_thelaw> |
Evin you cunt |
| 4873 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
For boob measurements, you have to put in an emoji |
| 4872 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
Man has a dick = TMI |
| 4871 |
Omega037 |
<_thelaw> |
verga? its penis |
| 4870 |
k27463 |
<NefariousAMG|job> |
rdm is a hot mess today |
| 4869 |
Merlin00 |
<k27463> |
i drink too much :\ |
| 4868 |
Omega037 |
<GreetingsADM> |
Just be friends with lots of people and masturbate |
| 4867 |
scittles |
<secretninjaket> |
I was tied to trees as a kid, and that's probably why I'm weird. |
| 4866 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
your mom is an american cheese like product |
| 4865 |
GreetingsADM |
<misspwn> |
follow your nose right to my lean pocket |
| 4864 |
Omega037 |
<spif> |
not unless he has a stroke every night |
| 4863 |
k27463 |
<Omega037> |
is provel a GMO? |
| 4862 |
rdm |
<k27463> |
plus i'm moody and weird, like a cat |
| 4861 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
put it in my mouth |
| 4860 |
scittles |
<k27463> |
frisv: trains suck |
| 4859 |
k27463 |
<sushiiii> |
this channel never fails to penis. |
| 4858 |
NefariousAMG |
<monkers> |
i like doing housework with Deity |
| 4857 |
funkyb |
<monkers> |
think like... baller monkey |
| 4856 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
Spif and Yaquis, sitting in a tree |
| 4855 |
sushi_ |
<k27463> |
choo choo |
| 4854 |
Omega037 |
<FalseProphet> |
quality beats qulility |
| 4853 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
they see me rollin, they hatin, patrollin they trying to catch me trollin' desj |
| 4852 |
scittles |
<k27463> |
i'm irresistable |
| 4851 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm just going to practice shitting my pants in public and asking minimum wage employees to help clean me up. |
| 4850 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
couldnt wait to get it in |
| 4849 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
omg you guys guess what i found at aldi last night |
| 4848 |
NefariousAMG |
<k27463> |
i hate spilling warm things on my bare legs while cooking |
| 4847 |
k27463 |
<secretninjaket> |
NO. I'M ARTHUR FUCKING WEASLEY AND DIDN'T KNOW OF THIS MAGICAL GOOGLE THING |
| 4846 |
spif |
<bk> |
too tight for the strapon |
| 4845 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
or tiny penis to be that close to the balls |
| 4844 |
frisv |
<secretninja> |
It sounds too delicious for me not to be allergic to it. |
| 4843 |
dolemite7 |
<ThatDeadDude> |
SELECT DISTINCT userid BITCH FROM MOTHERFUCKING USER |
| 4842 |
_Deity |
<f1ngertoes> |
you make me complete |
| 4841 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
hmm do i pee my pants while bike riding or walk all the way to the bathroom |
| 4840 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
this might be the end of recreational kickball as we know it |
| 4839 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
but do you really know this whale? |
| 4838 |
_Deity |
<barro> |
they swallow it every time.. it was easier than I thought it would be |
| 4837 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
i wonder if any physical media will ever replace cd's for music |
| 4836 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
I would take longer than a full day to masturbate in every bathroom |
| 4835 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bbbeluga> |
umm i just put a piece of tape over mine |
| 4834 |
frisv |
<Merlin00> |
I anticipate pumping about 60 gallons/day |
| 4833 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
I LOVE FAKE ITALIAN |
| 4832 |
timotab |
<ajwalsh44> |
push to start (pooping) |
| 4831 |
nerd|gone |
<frisv> |
k27463 it sucked. i want my poop back |
| 4830 |
f2ngertoes |
<Blastoise> |
tell that to the garden variety white trash who frequent this channel |
| 4829 |
k27463 |
<grobend> |
There's these "Stop campus violence" posters put up all around my campus and the bitch in the poster is not nearly hot enough to get raped |
| 4828 |
Electropop |
<NefariousAMG> |
Electropop is awesome, don't get me wrong |
| 4827 |
Electropop |
<NefariousAMG> |
me tool. |
| 4826 |
Omega037 |
<Blastoise> |
i've never known jews to be honest |
| 4825 |
_Deity |
<sushi_> |
my fingers pretty much do it on their own |
| 4824 |
Blastoise |
<sushi_> |
you make a good amount of money, but it ain't gonna last with all the little lard asses you produce with your lard ass sperm into your lard ass wife |
| 4823 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
but my nipples cant melt steel beams |
| 4822 |
Omega037 |
<Electropop> |
I have seen a dick before |
| 4821 |
Notbrad |
<NefariousAMG> |
got it. Normally I don't care if stuff gets grabbed, but when Ktrains posts a link about cooking with semen, there's a danger of embarassment in anything that i say |
| 4819 |
NefariousAMG |
<bk> |
"Everybody needs Jews." k27463 |
| 4818 |
bk |
<bbbeluga> |
being dangerous is totally cool you know |
| 4817 |
Merlin00 |
<monkers> |
what can i say, i love pee. |
| 4816 |
Merlin00 |
<DigiWrk> |
HUGE black shlong will stick in my memory forever _ |
| 4815 |
_Deity |
<spotmonk> |
I used to wank to USA up all night all the time as a kid |
| 4814 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
_Deity's cool |
| 4813 |
DeSJinterwebs |
<frisv> |
_Deity is all about the loose skin |
| 4812 |
_Deity |
<DeSJinterwebs> |
defense mechanism ACTIVATE |
| 4811 |
_Deity |
<k27463> |
hey some people want to be assburglars |
| 4810 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
it was prob Merlin00 |
| 4809 |
_Deity |
<Merlin00> |
monkers: if you're only going down like 3" you'll be okay |
| 4808 |
spif |
<frisv> |
plus, i know so much about anuses now |
| 4807 |
dolemite7 |
<ajwalsh44> |
i bet desj has gotten his tongue stuck on a pole |
| 4806 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i used to put that on my dating profile you should see the size of what i have in my pants. my colon in huge |
| 4805 |
||cw |
<Nyghtshade> |
I charge 50 100 bucks. |
| 4804 |
Omega037 |
<hawkgpg> |
i actually grow my own meat |
| 4803 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade> |
fuck me sideways |
| 4802 |
k27463 |
<spif> |
I know your mom |
| 4801 |
DeSJ20I7 |
<dolemite7> |
My Latino pride is offended by your boner. |
| 4800 |
DeSJ2017 |
<DeSJ20l7> |
Merlin00 i want you to put your penis in my mouth and fill my throat with your sweet sweet nectar of the gods |
| 4799 |
DeSJ2017 |
<DeSJ20I7> |
HERE |
| 4798 |
DeSJ2017 |
<frisv> |
on my 22inch monitor it's almost half a penis long |
| 4797 |
_Deity |
<Blastoise> |
mmm long pork |
| 4796 |
Omega037 |
<Electropop> |
I just wish I had more of me. |
| 4795 |
_Deity |
<Omega037> |
just remember that relationships grow where you water them |
| 4794 |
DeSJ2017 |
<GreetingsADM> |
But if you get aids, having sex with a baby will cure you |
| 4793 |
DeSJ2017 |
<spotmonk> |
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO READ THINGS |
| 4792 |
DeSJ2017 |
<spotmonk> |
shakes my gooch |
| 4791 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade_> |
need a dental dam for that shit |
| 4790 |
DeSJ2017 |
<bo`> |
ass to face |
| 4789 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
but that's when pitch perfect 2 comes out! |
| 4788 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
Homosexual sex, really not enjoying this too much. Homosexual sex, prison. Homosexual sex, stretchmarks around the mouth area. Oh hi. I'm just flipping through the index of my Queer Handbook. Holy God. I can get a merit badge just for being jizzed up. |
| 4787 |
DeSJconfused |
<spotmonk> |
(?à?)HHHHH |
| 4786 |
DeSJconfused |
<dolemite7> |
A CHICKEN IN EVERY BOT |
| 4785 |
Omega037 |
<spotmonk> |
but I NEED this dick pic now! |
| 4784 |
dolemite7 |
<sushi_> |
who eats warm tuna? |
| 4783 |
DeSJ20I7 |
<frisv> |
i bet it makes your farts smell tropical |
| 4782 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
THESE PANCAKES AREN'T GOING TO FUCK THEMSELVES, PEOPLE |
| 4781 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
also good for greasing each other up |
| 4780 |
spif |
<frisv> |
lubed pancakes |
| 4779 |
Merlin00 |
<DeSJ2017> |
Merlin00 I want to gurgle your balls |
| 4778 |
spif |
<frisv> |
my ass isn't gonna know what hit it |
| 4777 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|workin> |
yeah I just realized I blew my load yesterday. *transfers more in* |
| 4776 |
Omega037 |
<DeSJHomework> |
... i feel kinda dumb now... |
| 4775 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
I hope she comes back later. i need someone to harass while i masturbate |
| 4774 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
Lock out car thieves by keeping your keys in the freezer |
| 4773 |
DeSJ2017 |
<dolemite7> |
Y'ALL SOME GAY ASS COPS |
| 4772 |
DeSJ2017 |
<TheDeity> |
You are all whores |
| 4771 |
DeSJ2017 |
<spif> |
ain't no party like a vomit party cause a vomit party throw up all night |
| 4770 |
nerd|work |
<dolemite7> |
???LA COCAÍNA??? |
| 4769 |
_Deity |
<monkers> |
oh, well give him my name |
| 4768 |
DeSJ2017 |
<hydro> |
mitochondria are the diarrhea of the cell |
| 4767 |
DeSJ2017 |
<demophoon> |
your mom is one way to protect your nuts |
| 4766 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
Okay, you win DeliriumTremens |
| 4765 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rdm> |
wb :D |
| 4764 |
xxxt |
<rdm> |
no wonder she dumped you |
| 4763 |
dolemite7 |
<DeSJ2017> |
NO!!!! SEMEN BASED RECIPES HUH??? THANK YOU GOOGLE SEARCH BAR FOR SAVING MY BUTT |
| 4762 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade> |
Pacific Rimjob? |
| 4761 |
funkyb |
<Omega037> |
like i just finished memorizing the tax code and then cured polio |
| 4760 |
bk |
<Electropop> |
nevermind a sister is doing it |
| 4759 |
Omega037 |
<_Deity> |
where dat nigga monkers be? |
| 4758 |
DeSJ2017Studying |
<_Deity> |
she would wear crazy cocks? |
| 4757 |
_Deity |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i made frozen pancakes cus i was too lazy to make scratch pancakes |
| 4756 |
sushi__ |
<xxxt> |
omega, can you even see yours |
| 4755 |
Omega037 |
<xxxt> |
i dont always pull out in time. |
| 4754 |
Omega037 |
<sushi__> |
NOBODY PEES IN MY BUTT |
| 4753 |
_Deity |
<bk> |
I used a lollipop on your mom |
| 4752 |
bk |
<k27463> |
trains suck |
| 4751 |
sushiiii |
<frisv> |
your mom makes more sounds than any other whale |
| 4750 |
DeliriumTremens |
<DeSJ2017> |
i like being with little kids |
| 4749 |
DeSJ2017 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
the poop or the container |
| 4748 |
bk |
<DeliriumTremens> |
DeSJ2017: if I don't keep her stocked in diamonds and rattlesnakes, then she wont tickle my butthole |
| 4747 |
spif |
<bk> |
and a game being something you do between viewing naked pictures of women |
| 4746 |
ThatDeadDude |
<frisv> |
i like joining tables and writing about their relationships. i'm like a table matchmaker |
| 4745 |
DeliriumTremens |
<ThatDeadDude> |
blowjobs are like tailors' second favourite currency |
| 4744 |
bk |
<f1ngertoes> |
I just put two in my mouth by themselves for some reason. now I'm having trouble swallowing |
| 4743 |
kerouac |
<Merlin00> |
I try to stay on a heavy booze and delicious food diet |
| 4742 |
bbbeluga |
<bk> |
the old eggs might be more experienced, but younger eggs taste better |
| 4741 |
rdm |
<frisv> |
scittles is like a fake orgasm. says she's coming but never does |
| 4740 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
these pants are making me thirsty |
| 4739 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
the day people rise against moms is the day this country goes to shit |
| 4738 |
TheDeity |
<frisv> |
in soviet russia, mom has you! |
| 4737 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The barriers to poll entry were too high |
| 4736 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
i need a larger, adult one |
| 4735 |
k27463 |
<monkers> |
so we outsourced our riots to Boston? |
| 4734 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
sweetheart = cousin |
| 4733 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
i gotta blow on it and put it in janky sideways just to get it to work |
| 4732 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The universal theory of frisv and tents states that a frisv at rest neither creates or destroys tents, and all tents and perpetually in one of two states; frisved or not frisved. This is a universal constant. |
| 4731 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Some say there's no distinction between where frisv ends and the tent begins. |
| 4730 |
_Deity |
<GreetingsADM> |
like a good six inches |
| 4729 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I was so happy i didnt know wether to shit or go blind |
| 4728 |
_Deity |
<k27463> |
i am only attractive to overweight black women with multiple children |
| 4727 |
_Deity |
<secretninjaket> |
Maybe it was my face when she had her hand/ arm all up in there. Does this hurt? Other than the fact that your hand is up a finger size hole. No. NOT AT ALL. |
| 4726 |
bk |
<El Dubb> |
my lady bits don't want your sympathy |
| 4725 |
_Deity |
<bbbeluga> |
No, I just don't like tiny holes |
| 4724 |
_Deity |
<monkers> |
yah its massive. |
| 4723 |
bk |
<anotherbofh> |
I... I think I'd be ok with being a dildodragon. Soaring high on my dildowings, destroying the countryside with my dildobreath |
| 4722 |
rikkitikki |
<bbbeluga> |
I think all people are different and that's why we're all great |
| 4721 |
timotab |
<anotherbofh> |
Couldn't be, his ass was like the first place I checked |
| 4720 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
alright off to get volcano supplies |
| 4719 |
_Deity |
<f1ngertoes> |
I am awesome! thank you |
| 4718 |
_Deity |
<sushiiii> |
pm me for address |
| 4717 |
Blastoise |
<pikhq> |
Do you run a bitcoin farm? |
| 4716 |
Omega037 |
<pikhq> |
They're probably genuinely pleased to see a genital issue resulting from use of a legitimate sex toy in a legitimate fashion. |
| 4715 |
Omega037 |
<Electropop> |
is 40 dollars a good price for a vibrator? >>; |
| 4714 |
anotherbofh |
<GreetingsADM> |
Chances are if you can speak to a rabbi about it, you probably don't need to cut off your own arm |
| 4713 |
Omega037 |
<rikkitikki> |
my hooves are split |
| 4712 |
rikkitikki |
<Omega037> |
i used to trust Obama until I realized that his name backwards is Am a Bo |
| 4711 |
bbbeluga |
<GreetingsADM> |
I have, but I prefer the beef |
| 4710 |
Blastoise |
<pikhq> |
Blastoise: I've visited Houston. I melted. |
| 4709 |
_Deity |
<Blastoise> |
does it cook in its own juices or what |
| 4708 |
rikkitikki |
<Blastoise> |
haha there's a bot for every occasion on this irc |
| 4707 |
scittles |
<rikkitikki> |
I'm the only one that matters in here |
| 4706 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn> |
if there is liquid in there suck the juices out with yo mouth |
| 4705 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
as a rich white male i'm so sick of being oppressed |
| 4704 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
little tiny burgers and shit coming out of his pores |
| 4703 |
_Deity |
<rikkitikki> |
_Deity: I'll have you know, I ate bacon this morning |
| 4702 |
_Deity |
<Blastoise_phone> |
I found Jesus |
| 4701 |
rikkitikki |
<scittles> |
Octopus vs Crab: you won't want to miss this |
| 4700 |
spif |
<frisv> |
i'm a known racist |
| 4699 |
rikkitikki |
<scittles> |
but i can't trim the box down at all. it's longer than i want |
| 4698 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
the unsqueezable kimmy scrotum |
| 4697 |
k27463 |
<monkers> |
on a ktrain never comin back, wrong way on a one way track |
| 4696 |
Nerfdude |
<k27463> |
CANT STOP THE PAIN TRAIN |
| 4695 |
hydro |
<Omega037> |
_Deity, nobody wants to make a kid with you |
| 4694 |
rikkitikki |
<Blastoise> |
I had no idea IRC could be so dramatic and cliquey |
| 4693 |
_Deity |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i did accidenally run down some peckers though |
| 4692 |
rikkitikki |
<barrotek> |
4 poop sessions today! |
| 4691 |
demophoon |
<rikkitikki> |
If liking John Mayer makes me a basic white bitch I don't wanna be anything else |
| 4690 |
bk |
<scittles> |
that's when you start fake gagging |
| 4689 |
rikkitikki |
<bk> |
just floppy dead squirrel |
| 4688 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
what's next? police order human to shit inside dog's house for dog to see what it feels like |
| 4687 |
bk |
<rikkitikki> |
(I'm slow) |
| 4686 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
If my grundle was a skillet, you could cook a dozen eggs at a time on it. |
| 4685 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
all the fat dudes with the neckbeard 'tudes go "MONKERS ROCKS! MONKERS ROCKS!" |
| 4684 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
MY FAMILY'S LIVED ON FOOD STAMPS SINCE 19899 |
| 4683 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
I'M A FUCKING ANGRY ASIAN MAN TOO |
| 4682 |
rikkitikki |
<_Deity> |
I agree and disagree with everything everyone believes in |
| 4681 |
_Deity |
<f1ngertoes> |
mother fucker shit |
| 4680 |
bk |
<rikkitikki> |
"I'm more important to stare at" |
| 4679 |
timotab |
<frisv> |
keep swallowing my testicles |
| 4678 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
I should probably stuff it as I go, too, I always forget to do that and it gets lumpy and YES I REALIZE THIS SOUNDS HILARIOUS |
| 4677 |
monkers |
<frisv> |
i assumed cable was like $60 and internet was $40. $142 seems high |
| 4676 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
nothing gets people more excited than food cooked with a truck |
| 4675 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
sometimes i squeeze the bag droppings into my mouth |
| 4674 |
nerd|work |
<scittles> |
'cause she's a landwhale |
| 4673 |
_Deity |
<sushi_> |
i need someone to peel me :< |
| 4672 |
rdm |
<Electropop> |
I started using last summer, and havent switched. My skin can handle it |
| 4671 |
bk |
<rikki|phoney> |
Itty bitty rikki committee |
| 4670 |
bk |
<GreetingsADM> |
ah, rikki|phoney found the butthole |
| 4669 |
bk |
<DeliriumTremens> |
YOU DID THIS TO ME |
| 4668 |
k27463 |
<bk> |
dolemite7 is a code word for "black" |
| 4667 |
rikkitikki |
<hydro> |
THIS IS MY OPINION |
| 4666 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
frisv is an antiroom |
| 4665 |
rikkitikki |
<Merlin00> |
all these terrible bots are the worst thing since the holocaust/slavery |
| 4664 |
bk |
<GreetingsADM> |
penis has no effect |
| 4663 |
spif |
<scittles> |
sweaty women always smell sort of like skunks to me |
| 4662 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
You can buy dates (the fruit) or dates (hookers) |
| 4661 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
have you tried spraying your legs down with non stick cooking spray before putting your pants on |
| 4660 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
I am a semi strong independent lady that don't need no bot's approval |
| 4659 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
I successfully changed my pants |
| 4658 |
spif |
<_Deity> |
oooh donkey punches are elite |
| 4657 |
GreetingsADM |
<hydro|> |
i trusted the wrong fart yesterday |
| 4656 |
spif |
<fris5> |
i didn't ask for a penis |
| 4655 |
spif |
<scittles> |
here come the penii |
| 4654 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
i'm stupid, don't ever listen to me |
| 4653 |
frisv |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Thanks Doebama |
| 4652 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
"a wash u study finds deer are more likely to run into slower cars, giving them a greater chance at surviving while still being an asshole nuisance" |
| 4651 |
timotab |
<GreetingsADM> |
calling a semen slurp a taste test is like saying you're planning to eat a baby |
| 4650 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
i like my celery how i like my women: wet and from the supermarket |
| 4649 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
mary brought a bag of dildos |
| 4648 |
Nerfdude |
<spif> |
I also nerdjack all the time |
| 4647 |
k27463 |
<Derfnude> |
oh man it's a hole |
| 4646 |
bk |
<bbbeluga> |
I DONT WANT TO FINANCE SHEETS |
| 4645 |
xxxt |
<k27463> |
"you look like a bk but you're always a res0 to me" record this next |
| 4644 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
duh, i sail all the time. that's how i get to know the whale |
| 4643 |
Omega037 |
<NefariousBIG> |
that's cool. I'm going to purchase a bag of dicks today |
| 4642 |
nerddtvg |
<hydro> |
THE KID POOPED ON THE TOILET TODAY |
| 4641 |
introspectr |
<timotab> |
Joffrey kills dumbledore! |
| 4640 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bbbeluga> |
SMORES AND BALL SHAVING |
| 4639 |
_Deity |
<f1ngertoes> |
my mom used to frequent a gay male stylist |
| 4638 |
Nerfdude |
<dolemite7> |
il SHAVE BIG MONKEY AT MENARD'S kj |
| 4637 |
funkyb |
<Nerfdude> |
i have a buffalo boner |
| 4636 |
nerd|gone |
<f1ngertoes> |
"being a cunt is bad for your health, i'm just trying to smoke a fag" |
| 4635 |
nerd|gone |
<Nyghtshade> |
I'm so hot. |
| 4634 |
nerd|work |
<rikki|phoney> |
remember me as the face of lace |
| 4633 |
bk |
<Nerfdude> |
i heard pruitt igoe was just a test for the eventual controlled demolition of the world trade center |
| 4632 |
timotab |
<GreetingsADM> |
I think mine might be 20" |
| 4631 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
I'm getting reincarnated as a dung beetle |
| 4630 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
so they will be like business casual onesies |
| 4629 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
I already mount in shower |
| 4628 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
Rule #5: there is always an Electropop joke |
| 4627 |
Omega037 |
<frisv> |
Nice. I've done that but want to do others |
| 4626 |
timotab |
<k27463> |
it doesn't even hurt |
| 4625 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Things that a 6 year old does that are annoying: talking like Jar Jar Binks |
| 4624 |
DeliriumTremens |
<GreetingsADM> |
DeliriumTremens: always depends on which one you get. I was quite pleased by the size |
| 4623 |
frisv |
<DeliriumTremens> |
scittles: did you just say frisv looks like pierce brosnan? |
| 4622 |
nerd|work |
<scittles> |
barfing twinkies in the bathtub |
| 4621 |
sushi_ |
<_Deity> |
i totally read that as "mac died so I wiped out my anus" |
| 4620 |
sushiiii |
<f2ngertoes> |
next german you see with a weapon you rape the dog shit out of him. i don't care if it's a baby with a butter knife in one hand and mama's titty in the other you chop him up |
| 4619 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
GET YO TITTIES OUT MAH FACE, KATE UPTON |
| 4618 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
I get it for free at my apartment complex. |
| 4617 |
rikkitikki |
<bk> |
it's like 3.5 4" |
| 4616 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
Someone with pendulous breasts |
| 4615 |
DeliriumTremens |
<GreetingsADM> |
Maybe if more women talked with their tits, they wouldn't have to calm them so much. |
| 4614 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
what kinda sick fuck are you, frisv?? |
| 4613 |
spif |
<rdm> |
9 if they are midget hookers |
| 4612 |
dolemite7 |
<GreetingsADM> |
That's easily a 2 hooker freezer |
| 4611 |
frisv |
<monkers> |
peep futures are on the decline. |
| 4610 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i had a really weird dream last night, but the only thing i remember is waking up and saying to myself "that was a really weird dream" |
| 4609 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
the only thing that is truly infinite is your moms waistline |
| 4608 |
_Deity |
<Nyghtshade_> |
I'll download it |
| 4607 |
rikkitikki |
<Omega037> |
kerouac, i dont think there is anyone here who doesnt think im an asshole |
| 4606 |
_Deity |
<kerouac> |
breasts are usually good pounded out, breaded and baked |
| 4605 |
rikkitikki |
<hydro> |
that might explain the penis |
| 4604 |
rikkitikki |
<introspectr> |
if you walk into a pancake house and ask for a waffle, you're asking for trouble |
| 4603 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
Water can weight it down a bit so I usually lean over and squeeze it with a towel to dry it off as best as I can |
| 4602 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
And I like the butts |
| 4601 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
funkyb: my grundle is impenetrable |
| 4600 |
Nyghtshade |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Is that the last 10 minutes of work where you have to shit really bad but you're going to hold it and try to make it home? |
| 4599 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Electropop> |
LIKE ITS A BEAUTIFUL ASS |
| 4598 |
bk |
<rikkitikki> |
I like St. Louis... It's a neat place. |
| 4597 |
_Deity |
<rikkitikki> |
Electropop: I'll do it for free |
| 4596 |
rikkitikki |
<Primesauce> |
Men in the mode of awesome worship Primesauce |
| 4595 |
rikkitikki |
<kerouac> |
i may be high |
| 4594 |
rikkitikki |
<kerouac> |
i LOVE weed |
| 4593 |
sushi_ |
<hawkgpg> |
also, my first time i got off easy |
| 4592 |
sushi_ |
<hawkgpg> |
i think like over half my snaps have been my dick.... to my other guy friends |
| 4591 |
sushi_ |
<DeliriumTremens> |
are we talking about pineapples still or have we started a code convo about butt plugs |
| 4590 |
DeliriumTremens |
<_Deity> |
i did MONKERS |
| 4589 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
AT LEAST FINISH THE FUCKING THING YOU CLOVEN PIECE OF SHIT |
| 4588 |
rikkitikki |
<scittles> |
there's a dildo in my bucket dear liza dear liza |
| 4587 |
||cw |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"BURNING CRUSHING BLACKENED DEATH, CONSUMES MY TOWN AND ALL I LOVE, FLESH ON FIRE DEATH AND MIRE, LETS FUCK |
| 4586 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
Good lord, TIL I have bowels of steel |
| 4585 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
boobs ARE superior |
| 4584 |
demophoon |
<rikkitikki> |
"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school" |
| 4583 |
nerd|gone |
<Killsudo> |
I can see your mom in your face |
| 4582 |
nerd|work |
<dolemite7> |
You'd Be Surprised At What You Actually Ate Last Night |
| 4581 |
nerd|work |
<scittles> |
porn needs more hats |
| 4580 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
37 dicks! |
| 4579 |
_Deity |
<Omega037> |
good thing im obese instead of chubby |
| 4578 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
Sometimes you just have a very satisfying shit |
| 4577 |
rikki|sewwy |
<monkers> |
yes to rikki's butt |
| 4576 |
Nyghtshade |
<bbbeluga> |
yeah, if you cant watch porn what's the point |
| 4575 |
demophoon |
<rikki|sewwy> |
Banana twinkies sound fantastic |
| 4574 |
Nyghtshade |
<Nerfdude> |
I like poop |
| 4573 |
DeSJ2017 |
<frisv> |
i need more butt pics |
| 4572 |
monkers |
<nerd|work> |
no quote |
| 4571 |
nerd|work |
<frisv> |
if it's not trending on twitter, it didn't happen |
| 4570 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
DESJ IS JACK FINKEL IS EINHORN |
| 4569 |
scittles |
<brittbot> |
scittles: http://brittbot.brittg.com/eb2f29ae.png |
| 4568 |
DeSJ2017 |
<bk> |
bareback riding? |
| 4567 |
rikki|sewwy |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Uh oh, I feel another bucket of catfish comin' on... |
| 4566 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
right when i wake up i feel fine but wet |
| 4565 |
nerd|work |
<rikkitikki> |
I read that as "turns me on" |
| 4564 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Have you ever dumped a bucket of catfish into a pond? That's what my poop was just like. |
| 4563 |
kerouac |
<misspwn> |
whatever kerouac you're the real OG |
| 4562 |
DeSJ2017 |
<monkers> |
just dont cross the streams. |
| 4561 |
_Deity |
<DeSJ2017> |
rikki|sewwy i dont even need to see those stats to know that you are the nicest person on here. YOure awesome!! |
| 4560 |
Merlin00 |
<bbbeluga> |
i did enjoy the boobs |
| 4559 |
DeSJ2017 |
<GreetingsADM> |
I have pubes older than that |
| 4558 |
monkers |
<dolemite7> |
http://i.imgur.com/ny8hi8c.jpg |
| 4557 |
DeSJ2017 |
<dolemite7> |
probaby sniffing the cum trees |
| 4556 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The jizz trees are in full bloom here at work. |
| 4555 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
I'm probably the biggest jerk in this room, to be honest |
| 4554 |
monkers |
<kerouac> |
monkers: taht's because your penis is made of gold |
| 4553 |
rikkitikki |
<kerouac> |
this channel is only for people that fuck kerouac |
| 4552 |
rikki|sewwy |
<kerouac> |
i've been a douche for much of my life |
| 4551 |
bk |
<scittles> |
OMG why can't i blue things anymore |
| 4550 |
DeliriumTremens |
<scittles> |
sometimes? They're always hard. ours are separate and it's still hard |
| 4549 |
funkyb |
<introspectr3> |
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. |
| 4548 |
funkyb |
<f1ngertoes> |
I can unclench my butt for a little bit |
| 4547 |
funkyb |
<FalseProphet> |
my girlfriend/girlthing/place I put things |
| 4546 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
I do like Tyrese |
| 4545 |
introspectre |
<reddit stlouis> |
I am you |
| 4544 |
bk |
<Electropop> |
oh shit its good friday |
| 4543 |
Omega037 |
<Electropop> |
Chankster my roommate was too scared and I have never done it before so..I had to google howto |
| 4542 |
spif |
<bk> |
yeah, I sell coke |
| 4541 |
frisv |
<GreetingsADM> |
you come in a few seconds after lightning |
| 4540 |
bk |
<scittles> |
hubs has gone to mouth goatee thing |
| 4539 |
DeliriumTremens |
<GreetingsADM> |
got it, timotab farted so loud the window rattled |
| 4538 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
i drank all my peeps milk today ;( |
| 4537 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
the worst part is having to keep your mouth open for so long |
| 4536 |
rikkitikki |
<scittles> |
ugh my mouth is starting to hurt. |
| 4535 |
dolemite7 |
<scittles> |
good jaw workout |
| 4534 |
bbbeluga |
<bk> |
you seem like someone who would be an ass master |
| 4533 |
nerd|gone |
<bbbeluga> |
he's a cool guy that lives in st louis, mister sand in my florida pants |
| 4532 |
Electropop |
<Nyghtshade> |
I haven't desensitized my penis to the point where I need to jerk off with steel wool and have a monkey slap my ass with a barbwire wrapped club to get off yet. |
| 4531 |
k27463 |
<rikkitikki> |
sushii|interneti: get back in my sex dungeon |
| 4530 |
spif |
<bk> |
bk stands for "beer king" clearly |
| 4529 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"SPEAKING OF BALLS!" rikkitikki 2015 |
| 4528 |
spif |
<sushi_> |
they totally do butt stuff |
| 4527 |
misspwn_ |
<monkers> |
im easy. |
| 4526 |
ajwalsh44 |
<brittbot> |
http://brittbot.brittg.com/c9632f74.png |
| 4525 |
rikkitikki |
<bk> |
I can't believe it's nut butter |
| 4524 |
monkers |
<Nyghtshade> |
faggit |
| 4523 |
||cw |
<scittles> |
the ol' bus in hole routine |
| 4522 |
spif |
<frisv> |
unzipping is how babies start in the first place |
| 4521 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Thanks a lot frisv. I fucking trusted you, and now I'm sitting here eating chips and salsa the day AFTER national chip and dip day like some kind of asshole. |
| 4520 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
We're talking about the discreet cloning of eastern european prostitutes on a massive, MASSIVE scale |
| 4519 |
monkers |
<_Deity> |
thanks DTbot |
| 4518 |
monkers |
<_Deity> |
there is no reason to be upset |
| 4517 |
monkers |
<TenthTARDIS> |
And you beat me |
| 4516 |
monkers |
<frisv> |
I can measure lots of things in penis units |
| 4515 |
k27463 |
<TenthTARDIS> |
YOU CAN'T DO THAT |
| 4514 |
_Deity |
<TenthTARDIS> |
I agree with _Deity |
| 4513 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
DON'T TELL MOM THE BABYSITTERS DEAD FROM ALCOHOL POISONING IN THE BOUNCE CASTLE |
| 4512 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
so there's always butt plug sitting on the counter of the kitchen |
| 4511 |
_Deity |
<Omega037> |
an oil check was shoving your thumb in their ass |
| 4510 |
introspectr |
<dolemite7> |
Shoutout to uteruses, the original 3D printers |
| 4509 |
_Deity |
<Nerfdude> |
I am going to go outside and murder the shit out of my neighbors |
| 4508 |
_Deity |
<sushi_> |
_Deity has a huge cock |
| 4507 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
My friend passed out now we can't 3 way anymore |
| 4506 |
monkers |
<sushiiii> |
were like fish rescuing superheroes lol |
| 4505 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
I AIN'T ASHAMED |
| 4504 |
_Deity |
<sushi_> |
i'm not into black men unless i'm drunk |
| 4503 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
so your grandpa got to feel those!? |
| 4502 |
Nyghtshade |
<_Deity> |
I hope someone comes |
| 4501 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
helicopter is like hula for your penis |
| 4500 |
_Deity |
<Merlin00> |
of course I missed the damn oil bottom because my cash is still settling :( |
| 4499 |
timotab |
<bk> |
I think hydro gave me an STD :( |
| 4498 |
spif |
<Merlin00> |
spif the comedy genius |
| 4497 |
spif |
<Merlin00> |
balls and asshole |
| 4496 |
Merlin00 |
<brittbot> |
http://brittbot.brittg.com/8c877a8f.png |
| 4495 |
_Deity |
<rikkitikki> |
One rikkitikki is enough to blow your mind |
| 4494 |
rikkitikki |
<_Deity> |
I just have low standards when it comes to identical twins that are willing to share me |
| 4493 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
would you eat 10 fart flavored spiders just because they were $1.50? |
| 4492 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
this place is cursed with urinary problems |
| 4491 |
Omega037 |
<anotherbofh> |
"Industry Leading Frozen Semen Technologies" |
| 4490 |
bk |
<rikkitikki> |
I only have one fan |
| 4489 |
Nyghtshade |
<|mErLiN|> |
it's really fucking wet right now |
| 4488 |
|mErLiN| |
<sushi_> |
._. |
| 4487 |
timotab |
<Electropop> |
hey..clean balls matter. |
| 4486 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
stick it in her butt and wake her up |
| 4485 |
bk |
<rikkitikki> |
Also those boobs prolly weigh like 5 lb each |
| 4484 |
timotab |
<Electropop> |
I mean..I can send you one with me topless for science |
| 4483 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
you might as well boil barf over an open flame |
| 4482 |
k27463 |
<rikkitikki> |
Join my cult and suck my dick |
| 4481 |
rikkitikki |
<bk> |
hahaha he REALLY wants this hot dog I'm eating |
| 4480 |
rikkitikki |
<k27463> |
not everything in my life is train related |
| 4479 |
sushi__l |
<misspwn> |
or you'll never get to pee in that butt |
| 4478 |
bbbeluga |
<barro> |
preferrably right in the tip of a chubbed out dong. |
| 4477 |
introspectr5 |
<Merlin00> |
the only time people talk religion in here is to belittle others' religious beliefs |
| 4476 |
DeSJ2017 |
<dolemite7> |
an animated gif of a guy fucking another guy in the ass and the fuckee's dick spinning around like a helicopter |
| 4475 |
scittles |
<DeSJ2017> |
oh please, Ive seen people pee in other peoples butts on a couch before at a party, I think I can handle it |
| 4474 |
DeSJ2017OAFK |
<dolemite7> |
burman's be thy name |
| 4473 |
Omega037 |
<grobend> |
niggers |
| 4472 |
scittles |
<frisv> |
no one said lather peanut butter on your crotch and let a dog chew the hairs off |
| 4471 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i think scittles has discovered a celebrity jeopardy category. "goats ear train". "i'll take goatse art rain for $200" |
| 4470 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
the giver is my spirit animal |
| 4469 |
spif |
<misspwn> |
oh god the poop is coming back |
| 4468 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
The fear of reprecussions needs to outweight the desire to punch someone in the face. |
| 4467 |
Omega037 |
<xxxt> |
if it wasn't for date rape i'd never get laid. |
| 4466 |
nerd|sportsball |
<DeliriumTremens> |
KILL WHITEY |
| 4465 |
nerd|sportsball |
<Electropop> |
I DONT FUCK WITH YOUUUU |
| 4464 |
nerd|church |
<bbbeluga> |
you can do it, put your back into it |
| 4463 |
nerd|church |
<aaronn> |
but... but... im white! |
| 4462 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
well tripe looks like grey spongebob dick |
| 4461 |
Omega037 |
<Electropop> |
how do you even start kinky sex |
| 4460 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
your face looks damned good on you |
| 4459 |
nerd|gofyourself |
<bbbeluga> |
i swear to bob spif, you bring a pie and i will be on your face |
| 4458 |
nerd|gofyourself |
<drdasos> |
I'd love to rid the world of all the whites |
| 4457 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work> |
I want to put more into it |
| 4456 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
yeah get something stiff to stick through that hole ;) |
| 4455 |
GreetingsADM |
<rikkitikki> |
like, if I ever cosplay someone that isn't 12 |
| 4454 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
Fool I am a cracka |
| 4453 |
ktrains |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Now I smell like I worked at 5 guys |
| 4452 |
sushiiii |
<scittles> |
christian science |
| 4451 |
ktrains |
<frisv> |
ktrains is his nick he uses so we can grab his ass |
| 4450 |
spif |
<secretninjaket> |
heels help with the booty shakin though |
| 4449 |
sushiiii |
<frisv> |
aldi has great prices on titty sprinkles |
| 4448 |
spif |
<sushiiii> |
the penis thing again? you guysssss. |
| 4447 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
introspectr3: you still gonna keep pooping now that you're a professional turd? |
| 4446 |
rikkitikki |
<drdasos> |
I have a PhD in studying dat ass |
| 4445 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
Electropop: warning, this may turn into a birthday orgy |
| 4444 |
Merlin00 |
<axe9|work> |
Merlin00 got me pegged. |
| 4443 |
spotmonk |
<bbbeluga> |
come if you can, if you can't that is okay too. I just wanna have a night of fun. |
| 4442 |
frisv |
<bbbeluga> |
i needed at least double that |
| 4441 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
good i was just gona bring condoms |
| 4440 |
_Deity |
<crevecoeurchick> |
It's penis. Stop sugar coating the penis. |
| 4439 |
nerddtvg |
<willisnutz43> |
sucked anymore dicks lately? |
| 4438 |
nerddtvg |
<spotmonk> |
the video I shot with your mom involved a train |
| 4437 |
introspectr |
<baslisks|work> |
if he went any deeper he'd be ramming the uterus of my mind |
| 4436 |
introspectr |
<kerouac> |
nerddtvg: yeah , for she had to have sex with you twice to get it |
| 4435 |
sushiiii |
<Omega037> |
i would absolutely fail as a father otherwise |
| 4434 |
spif |
<_Deity> |
enough dick blood* |
| 4433 |
Omega037 |
<k27463> |
misspwn am i a sperglord? |
| 4432 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
your mom is the Orly of french vaginas |
| 4431 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i wonder if Nyghtshade ever broke both of his arms |
| 4430 |
_Deity |
<willisnutz43> |
you're a peice of shit, goodnight. |
| 4429 |
deity|phone |
<willisnutz43> |
no, but there's a need to hope you suffer before you die if you drive like an idiot. |
| 4428 |
rikki|afk |
<MadTony71> |
well I'm glad you guys ar making 'new' people welcomed, rofl, and by that I mean yer not.. rofl |
| 4427 |
Merlin00 |
<crevecoeurchick> |
Yes, i will do nudes. |
| 4426 |
_Deity |
<crevecoeurchick> |
Can i have the item first before the head? |
| 4425 |
funkyb |
<kitkatkaytee> |
We're all technically eskimo brothers. Minus the sex. And substitute it for facebook friendship with monkers. |
| 4424 |
_Deity |
<crevecoeurchick> |
I dont even need the monies. |
| 4423 |
demophoon |
<rikkitikki> |
I want my buttplug as elegant as my outfit |
| 4422 |
_Deity |
<MadTony71> |
I've come close a few times, but eventually I'm going to get 100% fed up with the rat race and disappear into the weeds never to be seen again... |
| 4421 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
your mom's related |
| 4420 |
bbbeluga |
<scittles> |
i like hello kitty so i'm pretty much expert in all things japanese |
| 4419 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
DT wa kawaii desu = DT is cute |
| 4418 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
what colored dress is Leonard Nimoy going to wear to his Llama themed funeral being streamed live after the conference on Net Neutrality? |
| 4417 |
Omega037 |
<_Deity> |
they have 15 year old girl prostitutes also |
| 4416 |
_Deity |
<Omega037> |
thats why you gotta have like 5 guys on the line |
| 4415 |
Omega037 |
<kitkatkaytee> |
What's your name jailbait? |
| 4414 |
Omega037 |
<rikkitikki> |
RIP llama_beans' bowels |
| 4413 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
I'll be right behind you res0 |
| 4412 |
_Deity |
<DeliriumTremens> |
frisv smells like turds |
| 4411 |
Electropop |
<DeliriumTremens> |
kitkatkaytee: it's a known fact that chinese food tastes 3x worse when you have to eat it with silverware |
| 4410 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
i just shampooed the rug |
| 4409 |
Nerfdude |
<willisnutz43> |
DeliriumTremens be postin' n00ds for d00ds that only the pedos would view also |
| 4408 |
de|it|e |
<res0> |
I'll give you an inch around 2am |
| 4407 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
YOU WOULD ENJOY IT IF THEY ARE OLD |
| 4406 |
spif |
<memmek2k> |
Yup, cuz male sexuality is completely uncontrollable and it's completely on women to make sure they're not too provacative |
| 4405 |
spif |
<frisv> |
I would totally not put a penis in jennn |
| 4404 |
kitkatkaytee |
<Primesauce> |
No, because squirting implies that the woman enjoyed it. I don't want anyone to have fun but me. |
| 4403 |
rikkitikki |
<memmek2k> |
a hemipenis if you will |
| 4402 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
you're not showing off your penis enough |
| 4401 |
rikkitikki |
<de_it_e> |
I fuck me all the time even though im too hot for me |
| 4400 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
Slappin' all them taints |
| 4399 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
clearly i enjoy snacking on ballsax |
| 4398 |
Nyghtshade |
<deity_> |
I totes love the fatties. |
| 4397 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
i wouldnt even need your dick after all that |
| 4396 |
kitkatkaytee |
<rikkitikki> |
Why did no one grab that |
| 4394 |
k27463 |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Dick pics are best pics. |
| 4393 |
k27463 |
<rikkitikki> |
Everyone wants a know it all when she has an ass that doesn't quit |
| 4392 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm basically the Dr. Phil of this channel. |
| 4391 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
hopefully i dont turn into a pigfucker |
| 4390 |
Nerfdude |
<res0> |
I am a pretty princess. |
| 4389 |
rikkitikki |
<_Deity> |
i mean, i may be good, but i am usually drunk when its happening |
| 4388 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
i get the squirts daily |
| 4387 |
nerddtvg |
<nerddtug> |
not all of us can be as cool and sexy as you :( |
| 4386 |
rikkitikki |
<memmek2k> |
rikkitikki: I like fish dicks. |
| 4385 |
TenthTARDIS |
<GreetingsADM> |
You should play with more boobs, they're fun |
| 4384 |
nerd|work |
<frisv> |
can confirm, am older brother and ridiculously hetero |
| 4383 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
Sorry guys, im gay now. |
| 4382 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
I have no brothers so I can't be blamed for turning them gay! |
| 4381 |
rikkitikki |
<GreetingsADM> |
You're not Mormon unless you attend a Utah Jazz game |
| 4380 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
masturbate. |
| 4379 |
GreetingsADM |
<spif> |
well captain planet does turn people into trees |
| 4378 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
a planet where it never reaches 4:20 |
| 4377 |
TenthTARDIS |
<_Deity> |
kerouac, let me know when you go to asia... i would like to bone a native |
| 4376 |
rikkitikki |
<res0> |
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS RIKKI SAN DIEGO |
| 4375 |
spif |
<kerouac> |
now you'll never see my 1/2 inch peen |
| 4374 |
rikkitikki |
<Electropop> |
I smell so damn good |
| 4373 |
rikkitikki |
<kitkatkaytee> |
rikkitikki is creepy, that's why we keep her here. |
| 4372 |
_Deity |
<kerouac> |
i want to stick my toungue in that yummy cheese |
| 4371 |
nerddtvg |
<GreetingsADM> |
Turd Burglar is among my favorite insults |
| 4370 |
bbbeluga |
<kerouac> |
glad to hear my penis is still an option |
| 4369 |
_Deity |
<kitkatkaytee> |
that im best gay of the day |
| 4368 |
rikki|afk |
<DeliriumTremens> |
awww sleet sleet sleet sleet |
| 4367 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
that's just a light spank really |
| 4366 |
rikkitikki |
<memmek2k> |
romance with me is always a jolly good show |
| 4365 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
sounds like a wet drone |
| 4364 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
i love nuts |
| 4363 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
all my weight is in my junk |
| 4362 |
nerd|work |
<frisv> |
your mom has a red button |
| 4361 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm changing my name to Handfist McSnatch |
| 4360 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
i feel like it is still hard |
| 4359 |
res0 |
<frisv> |
The best part about gay porn is that there is no smell |
| 4358 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
man, necks are awesome |
| 4357 |
Omega037 |
<res0> |
a bigger, blacker dick cake |
| 4356 |
res0 |
<misspwn> |
mm dark meat |
| 4355 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
misspwn's mom is hot |
| 4354 |
Electropop |
<frisv> |
"welcome to michigan. fuck michigan" |
| 4353 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
can i pledge 6 inches of my dick to slap across her face? |
| 4352 |
Omega037 |
<Electropop> |
Is it hard? |
| 4351 |
nerd|gone |
<rikkitikki> |
I find it pleasurable |
| 4350 |
nerd|gone |
<rikkitikki> |
"Oh, is this about myself? Sweet." |
| 4349 |
GreetingsADM |
<scittles> |
axe9|work: she's legit psycho, but not in the obvious ways where people feel sorry for you |
| 4348 |
nerd|work |
<frisv> |
CAUSE YOUR JUNK IS INACTIVE |
| 4347 |
_Deity |
<bbbeluga> |
What tickles my blow hole is a great subtitle |
| 4346 |
Omega037 |
<_Deity> |
your butt gets pumped |
| 4345 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
i love your wiener, llama_beans |
| 4344 |
rikkitikki |
<Electropop> |
..you look younger rikki |
| 4343 |
Electropop |
<GreetingsADM> |
so, plenty of places to bury the bodies |
| 4342 |
nerddtvg |
<rikkitikki> |
If I had a cock I'd totally buy that |
| 4341 |
nerddtvg |
<k27463> |
i still suck |
| 4340 |
Omega037 |
<_Deity> |
yu gotta pee on an underaged girl |
| 4339 |
_Deity |
<Merlin00> |
everyone is DTF when _Deity is involved |
| 4338 |
spif |
<frisv> |
maybe i'll just kiss a burrito and get a free evin |
| 4337 |
introspectr3 |
<bbbeluga> |
booo orcas |
| 4336 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
Electropop i hope you're just going on dates for the free meals |
| 4335 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
excited for chubbies tonight |
| 4334 |
frisv |
<Nerfdude> |
Netscape says I need a plugin to see this content |
| 4333 |
Electropop |
<sushiiii> |
i shit on my desk daily. its good for the soul |
| 4332 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
"How much can't could a white girl can't if a white girl literally could not even?" |
| 4331 |
Nerfdude |
<Omega037> |
aopjfep give me GREEN ewqifpjeqwp !!!!! yaya :):):( |
| 4330 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
The dog wants your butthole. |
| 4329 |
kitkatkaytee |
<GreetingsADM> |
though you typically don't have to soak a penis in water for a week to get it to grow to its fullest size |
| 4328 |
||cw |
<GreetingsADM> |
My soup pot would pirrouette on the flat tope |
| 4327 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
i'm half tempted to make a CL post to find some lady friends |
| 4326 |
grobend |
<GreetingsADM> |
He's saying no, but really he wants it |
| 4325 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
if butts had nipples, then we'd have somethign to talk about |
| 4324 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
You can penetrate an ass |
| 4323 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
Just make sure you get in the box before the can, the other way is unhygenic |
| 4322 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
it must be weird to have a guy cum inside you |
| 4321 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
F it i'm getting a donut and not telling anybody |
| 4320 |
res0 |
<misspwn> |
cucumbers are great for that too |
| 4319 |
k27463 |
<misspwn> |
world needs more misspwn |
| 4318 |
res0 |
<misspwn> |
i make finger goal and look through just fine |
| 4317 |
Omega037 |
<llama_beans> |
licking my pants |
| 4316 |
spif |
<scittles> |
i've got a hankerin for fun dip |
| 4315 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
my name is Gene and I'm totally a male prostitute |
| 4314 |
spif |
<scittles> |
"if i could live on any planet it'd be uranus" |
| 4313 |
GreetingsADM |
<frisv> |
i dont care about paying but i try to make the girl feel a little guilty so they'll make it up |
| 4312 |
whiteruski |
<Nerfdude> |
My hair clogged the toilet :/ |
| 4311 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
I read that as "Pornography meeting" |
| 4310 |
spif |
<whiteruski> |
your mom's pussy is so dry that the crabs carry canteens |
| 4309 |
nerddtvg |
<Nerfdude> |
It's all fisting and snapbacks |
| 4308 |
nerddtvg |
<res0> |
that was quick |
| 4307 |
_Deity |
<monkers> |
i'll lick a girls ass too i dont give a fuuuck. |
| 4306 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
is there anything you don't do, other than anal? |
| 4305 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
How do I make it stop? Find someone to randomly suck on them? |
| 4304 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
and im not sensitive i can take things |
| 4303 |
spif |
<scittles> |
poop is out of fashion? |
| 4302 |
spif |
<scittles> |
then it sounds like you just need to let your nipples flow free |
| 4301 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Would you rather poop one horse sized poop, or a hundred duck sized poops? |
| 4300 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
will her poop be larger than a duck? |
| 4299 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
People do pegging all the time on the tables at Cracker Barrel |
| 4298 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
I WILL SHIT ON EVERYTHING YOU LOVE |
| 4297 |
spif |
<Primesauce> |
Ladies love a bedazzled cock |
| 4296 |
bbbeluga |
<spotmonk> |
becca is excited that his penis doesn't work |
| 4295 |
bbbeluga |
<spif> |
lol |
| 4294 |
spif |
<scittles> |
i'm going to drink booze tonight and have crazy sex just to spite them, if anyone has any marijuanas they can bring me i'll take that too |
| 4293 |
timotab |
<axe9|work> |
I remember my first one. it was pretty fun. |
| 4292 |
Nerfdude |
<Killsudo> |
listening to an animal cry in pain from a rubber band on their nuts is just upsetting when it's for no reason |
| 4291 |
TheDeity |
<misspwn> |
llama_beans, this weekend we might be doing girl things if you are into that stuff |
| 4290 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
but then the moaning got more excited than painful |
| 4289 |
nerd|skewl |
<TwoWorlds> |
oh, okay, kinda like when the female corn is on her period |
| 4288 |
spif |
<frisv> |
maybe he will electropop your cherry |
| 4287 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
thank you and here's my ip address |
| 4286 |
introspectr3 |
<frisv> |
I gave your mom an error 413 last night |
| 4285 |
bbbeluga |
<introspectr3> |
Tits are the Alpha and the Omega, the First and Last, the Beginning and the End. |
| 4284 |
res0 |
<llama_beans> |
ah tacos |
| 4283 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work> |
my balls hurt today for some reason |
| 4282 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
how many inches did you get ;) |
| 4281 |
nerddtvg |
<res0> |
bbbeluga is a secret racist |
| 4280 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
my cream was delicious, thanks for asking res0 |
| 4279 |
nerddtvg |
<Omega037> |
man, i gotta poop |
| 4278 |
nerddtvg |
<DeliriumTremens> |
it's poop all the way down, boys! |
| 4277 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
separate tubs seems to make it harder to do it |
| 4276 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
I PAID FOR A LADY, NOT CORY AND TREVOR |
| 4275 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
always falling out my pocket |
| 4274 |
k27463 |
<spif> |
bbbeluga: I'M SORRY |
| 4273 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
I'll show ya my kinda panties Electropop |
| 4272 |
happyincolor |
<rikkitikki> |
I like my clothes to support human suffering |
| 4271 |
dolemite7 |
<rikkitikki> |
DeliriumTremens: excuse me, I wear period accurate crotchless bloomers |
| 4270 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Electropop> |
JUST FUCK BIEBER |
| 4269 |
rikkitikki |
<_Deity> |
people will never lose the desire to learn new ways to fuck |
| 4268 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
train porn will be the new thing in 2015 |
| 4267 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
Sounds hard.. |
| 4266 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
or that smell when you fart under the covers after eating white castle and it slowly creeps from under the covers right into your face |
| 4265 |
funkyb |
<ThatDeadDude> |
I guess more cunt than poon |
| 4264 |
happyincolor |
<spotmonk> |
I think it's a fickle mofo |
| 4263 |
timotab |
<happyincolor> |
we really want to come this year |
| 4262 |
rikkitikki |
<DLbot> |
misspwn's boobs are perky appleballoons. |
| 4261 |
Electropop |
<misspwn> |
toot toot is the new zoom zoom |
| 4260 |
||cw |
<Electropop> |
My tits are amazing. |
| 4259 |
introspectr |
<Primesauce> |
I don't think we've met. Hi, I'm Primesauce. I'm not going to change who I am or what I do. |
| 4258 |
rikkitikki |
<GreetingsADM> |
how big is he? |
| 4257 |
Deity_ |
<monkers> |
yes free flights for everyone |
| 4256 |
Electropop |
<frisv> |
news from CMU this morning, a toilet overflows in an apartment and a resident died. it all started when the deceased roommate took a corgi sized shit |
| 4255 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Zeryl> |
don't make me blow your man |
| 4254 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
rikki pays ME for sex |
| 4253 |
rikki|phoney |
<res0> |
rikki is such a whore |
| 4252 |
misspwn_ |
<res0> |
these hos won't keep off mah dick |
| 4251 |
k27463 |
<grobend> |
Anyone here into buttplugs? |
| 4250 |
Nerfdude |
<bbbeluga> |
omega how many times do we have to ask you not to talk about your wife and her baby making or her boobs or her parts |
| 4249 |
spif |
<Barro50> |
boned it raw |
| 4248 |
spif |
<Barro50> |
what happened to the good old days of grabbin' the girl by the tit tay and saying "Let's go, woman, we have work to do"? |
| 4247 |
misspwn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i can eat jalapenos again today, my pucker portal has recovered |
| 4246 |
Deity_ |
<llama_beans> |
unless it also teleports magically through my phone to my mouth |
| 4245 |
timotab |
<llama_beans> |
just go rub one out and relax fellas |
| 4244 |
nicomachus |
<GreetingsADM> |
Liberal Christians love them some Sufjan |
| 4243 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
"We enjoy regular heterosexual lovemaking" |
| 4242 |
bbbeluga |
<introspectr3> |
its 9am, i think ill go gorge some rump roast |
| 4241 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
Is a restraining order a form of rejectiong? |
| 4240 |
res0 |
<spotmonk> |
on days that you aren't gay of the day do you crave more or less cock? |
| 4239 |
res0 |
<Sabriel> |
spotmonk: I crave more cock |
| 4238 |
TheDeity |
<monkers> |
so after my mom dies im going to kill myself |
| 4237 |
Deity_ |
<grobend> |
I'm trying to score some LSD |
| 4236 |
nerddtvg |
<misspwn> |
salt lickaaaaaaaa |
| 4235 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
do you want a poofy one misspwn |
| 4234 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
my freaky testicles are nobody's business DLbot |
| 4233 |
Omega037 |
<Deity_> |
prison is for people that want to get raped |
| 4232 |
Omega037 |
<Nerfdude> |
Every time you binge eat, cum on your face |
| 4231 |
Deity_ |
<frisv> |
no one uses their smartphone to browse the internet |
| 4230 |
timotab |
<frisv> |
i have a booger i just can't reach |
| 4229 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
the problem with real life is that there are no grabs |
| 4228 |
timotab |
<frisv> |
i must be sniffing your brain fart |
| 4227 |
whiteruski |
<Nyghtshade> |
Watchmen, without the giant blue floppy penis. |
| 4226 |
_Deity |
<whiteruski> |
i'll give you some of my fat _Deity |
| 4225 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
Id bang her. |
| 4224 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
EVERYTHING IS A CHEMICAL IF YOU TRY HARD ENOUGH |
| 4223 |
bbbeluga |
<dolemite7> |
i know someone else with a white sauce aversion... |
| 4222 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn_> |
i gues not really pooping if i was just shooting water out my anus |
| 4221 |
bbbeluga |
<DeliriumTremens> |
or i can hand sand to completion |
| 4220 |
hawkgpg |
<frisv> |
i'm sure if you got drunk right before giving birth, it wouldnt affect the baby |
| 4219 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
so i should right the words on my boobs? |
| 4218 |
Electropop |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i dont have 8 nipples |
| 4217 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
At the rate I'm going, I'm gonna be giving handies behind the New Life Evangelical Center in 2 years! |
| 4216 |
rikkitikki |
<Nerfdude> |
Whatever I'll be in the front car eating babies |
| 4215 |
spif |
<frisv> |
Truly though, aside from furiously is there any other way to masturbate? |
| 4214 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
What about rule 34 Rikki pics? |
| 4213 |
k27463 |
<Nerfdude> |
Irc... Irc never changes |
| 4212 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
I can think of the biggest one Nerfdude |
| 4211 |
Electropop |
<Nerfdude> |
Paul walker was the man and I miss him ever dae |
| 4210 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
I want to fuck The Rock, with his big ass tattoos and his adorable smile, and his muscles... |
| 4209 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
My roommates boyfriend drank my milk |
| 4208 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
will you suck my blood? |
| 4207 |
Electropop |
<_Deity> |
well we know what kind of porn you sick fucks watch |
| 4206 |
_Deity |
<rikkitikki> |
I don't know nothin |
| 4205 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
4 nerds just came in kimcheese |
| 4204 |
timotab |
<Merlin00> |
I think this is the first thing timotab has said I agree on |
| 4203 |
Omega037 |
<jgrant> |
Omega037: No wonder people hate the Jews, if you're the /Gold/ standard. |
| 4202 |
k27463 |
<Omega037> |
talk about poop or suffer the consequences |
| 4201 |
k27463 |
<misspwn_> |
i've pooped in public places |
| 4200 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
according to my wellness survey i have high stress AND THIS ISNT HELPING |
| 4199 |
spif |
<jgrant> |
I mean the annoyance is, have a certified full blown mental breakdown that negatively effected me for a year; 70 pounds of weight gain in 5 month, mental health not great, and then I get shit for sucking. I know I suck, it's taken me literally a year not to have 0 self esteem and them people are "razzing me" no, I've been berated by you Omega037 for now 5+ months over my mental health. |
| 4198 |
k27463 |
<DeSJ2017> |
oh jeez. they're getting longer |
| 4197 |
spif |
<Omega037> |
then again, im also just a dick |
| 4196 |
k27463 |
<jgrant> |
Well, how queer. |
| 4195 |
DeSJ2017 |
<frisv> |
clitorious bastards |
| 4194 |
Omega037 |
<jgrant> |
frisv Mainly because I've been framed as a villain here, to a pretty large degree. So most anything I do that's not a big deal, people will blow up to be huge. Then when I calmly respond, people think I'm all defensive and tell me to "calm down!"/ |
| 4193 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
my e penis is so small though ;( |
| 4192 |
k27463 |
<axe9|work> |
misspwn_ That's a penis |
| 4191 |
k27463 |
<Omega037> |
so, about DeliriumTremens's poop |
| 4190 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
blacks dont want to be too far from africa |
| 4189 |
spif |
<Nicomachus> |
Can you sell white infants on the black market? |
| 4188 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
What about K Cups that can then be reused as a tampon? |
| 4187 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
digiornosexuals |
| 4186 |
k27463 |
<Electropop> |
for the record: I am wearing underwear right now. |
| 4185 |
_Deity |
<bbbeluga> |
yeah yeah, men are superior |
| 4184 |
rikkitikki |
<spif> |
I love you rikkitikki |
| 4183 |
rikkitikki |
<spif> |
I don't know anything |
| 4182 |
dolemite7 |
<axe9|work> |
I'm... I'm really cursing in these videos too much to use them as instructional videos..... |
| 4181 |
Nerfdude |
<jgrant> |
Subtitle is tentatively, "a gay romp into computational thought". |
| 4180 |
spif |
<jgrant> |
Sorry, wiping on numpad... |
| 4179 |
_Deity |
<jgrant> |
I fucking hate cooking and will eat near any and all meat. |
| 4178 |
Deity_ |
<jgrant> |
Brb, night sausage attempt 2. |
| 4177 |
spif |
<res0> |
power of my farts |
| 4176 |
Deity_ |
<Omega037> |
my son needs to stop pooping in the tub |
| 4175 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
wild jew sex? |
| 4174 |
DeSJ2017 |
<_Deity> |
teachers are getting hornier and hornier every yea |
| 4173 |
Nyghtshade |
<_Deity> |
its actually more like || instead of \/ |
| 4172 |
_Deity |
<hydr0> |
as long as nobody is banging kids on here i think they're just regular ol' americans |
| 4171 |
spif |
<llama_beans> |
its been a long day with my legos and whatnot |
| 4170 |
spif |
<res0> |
surprisingly little humping involved |
| 4169 |
res0 |
<k27463> |
the hardest part is making it that big |
| 4168 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
If it's large enough, and I press hard enough I can |
| 4167 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
But you can't fit you face in between one boob |
| 4166 |
introspectr3 |
<secretninjaket> |
I get distracted by weird thoughts when watching some porn. like I hope that dude didn't eat Mexican for her sake.. |
| 4165 |
Electropop |
<secretninjaket> |
I read that as Sluts and got really excited about that sort of show |
| 4164 |
spif |
<hydro|> |
i have more meaningful interactions with DTbot than i do most confirmed humans |
| 4163 |
DeSJ2017 |
<hydro|> |
where are my pants? |
| 4162 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
my mom is closed on monday |
| 4161 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
i live in sin all the time |
| 4160 |
k27463 |
<grobend> |
I was just penis |
| 4159 |
timotab |
<axe9|work> |
Merlin00 I'll upload duck video to private youtube |
| 4158 |
dolemite7 |
<Electropop> |
How do you put it in? |
| 4157 |
||cw |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i dont have a stub handy |
| 4156 |
bbbeluga |
<misspwn> |
wan get swole wtih me bb? |
| 4155 |
_Deity |
<misspwn_> |
i'll borrow their donkey |
| 4154 |
Omega037 |
<whiteruski> |
your mouth says no but your butt says yes |
| 4153 |
DeSJ2017 |
<_Deity> |
no vchip in me |
| 4152 |
timotab |
<Electropop> |
God..he was so gentle. |
| 4151 |
DeSJ2017 |
<_Deity> |
cup da bawls |
| 4150 |
_Deity |
<misspwn_> |
i'm quick witted it's okay if you aren't |
| 4149 |
whiteruski |
<_Deity> |
if i had to pay 5 cents to see them I would want my nickelback |
| 4148 |
DeSJ2017 |
<_Deity> |
it was the fucking yum |
| 4147 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
Sorry I am PMSing hardcore |
| 4146 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
Yeah I wish I was in high school these days with all the teacher on student sex going on |
| 4145 |
Deity_ |
<Notbrad> |
peace nigs |
| 4144 |
spif |
<frisv> |
thats ironic cause big dicks never quit |
| 4143 |
frisv |
<mccafe> |
i cant deneigh that |
| 4142 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
i'll keep you in mind when i hear about an amber alert |
| 4141 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
all the times I've wanked off thinking about her she's been pretty good |
| 4140 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
and I am fantastic in the sack so clearly it is all true |
| 4139 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
we all agree, you should not be in here during school hours. Because we all believe our solid education got us where we are today. Wealthy, healthy, employed, and fantastic in the sack. |
| 4138 |
GRABY |
<misspwn> |
lies |
| 4137 |
GRABY |
<ajwalsh44> |
lol |
| 4136 |
GRABY |
<DLbot> |
outm first said "yees!" on 2015 01 14 13:50:32. |
| 4135 |
spif |
<frisv> |
"girls pussy" seems obvious. like cheese quesadilla |
| 4134 |
DeSJ2017 |
<dolemite7> |
well, does your mouth or butthole feel weird this morning? |
| 4133 |
skizermetimbers |
<Nerfdude> |
He just whipped out a little tooth crowbar and went to town |
| 4132 |
GreetingsADM |
<Nerfdude> |
I promise it's not a dick this time |
| 4131 |
spif |
<Omega037> |
people blamed us, but let me tell you, if Monsanto was behind it they would all be fucking gone by now |
| 4130 |
DeSJ2017 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
its coming from INSIDE THE PHONE INSIDE OF FRISVS ANUS |
| 4129 |
DeSJ2017 |
<anotherbofh> |
my anus decided it needed its own account |
| 4128 |
spif |
<frisv> |
My left ball is gigantic compared to my right |
| 4127 |
DeSJ2017 |
<hawkgpg> |
i read that as wank first,lol |
| 4126 |
DeSJ2017 |
<frisv> |
I like my joes how I like my hoes, brown and extra sloppy |
| 4125 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm such a shitlord. |
| 4124 |
memmek2k |
<_Deity> |
but if shes hot and you eat her ass you pretty much are guaranteed a sloppy blowjob |
| 4123 |
_Deity |
<GreetingsADM> |
[12:38] <_Deity> im going out to eat girl ass after work |
| 4122 |
frisv |
<spif> |
just this craving for fresh milk |
| 4121 |
DeSJ2017 |
<bbbeluga> |
having nipples and having boobs are very very different |
| 4120 |
DeSJ2017 |
<frisv> |
bbbeluga has underage boobs |
| 4119 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
together, my nipples are 64 years old |
| 4118 |
DeSJ2017 |
<frisv> |
these days everything is grabable |
| 4117 |
DeSJ2017 |
<frisv> |
my balls combined age is almost 60 |
| 4116 |
DeSJ2017 |
<bbbeluga> |
if they were just two orbs of fat, they wouldn't make me so happy |
| 4115 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade> |
I'm a tax professional. |
| 4114 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
keep up with the fiber and you'll shit an entire wicker swingset |
| 4113 |
timotab |
<Omega037> |
its prob best not to get me started on Japan |
| 4112 |
spif |
<res0> |
secretninjaket has two massive talents |
| 4111 |
DeSJ2017 |
<secretninjaket> |
I'm rather good at not puking during road trips now |
| 4110 |
_Deity |
<Nerfdude> |
I HAVE GOLDENEYE SAVE FILES OLDER THAN YOU |
| 4109 |
Nerfdude |
<spif> |
gamecube burned your house down? |
| 4108 |
DeSJ2017 |
<_Deity> |
and you will get a kickback from pornhub |
| 4107 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
you mean fisty ;) |
| 4106 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
And I don't even have a dick |
| 4105 |
_Deity |
<frisky> |
I can pop my dick like I can pop my knuckles |
| 4104 |
spif |
<_Deity> |
SDS Snapped dick syndrom |
| 4103 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
I've never had a dude snap his dick on me |
| 4102 |
spif |
<Nerfdude> |
I've snapped my dick, that's a thing |
| 4101 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
Took me forever to restrain my mad humping. |
| 4100 |
spif |
<_Deity> |
snapped your dick? |
| 4099 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
Like... I snapped my dick multiple times when I was 16 |
| 4098 |
DeSJ2017 |
<_Deity> |
the best birth control ever is oral sex |
| 4097 |
rikkitikki |
<frisky> |
I so wish I could punch a girl in the face |
| 4096 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
Like... if a chick punches me in the face... Like... I have every right to cold cock her right in the jaw. |
| 4095 |
frisky |
<Nyghtshade> |
I know what pregnancy is like. |
| 4094 |
Nyghtshade |
<rikkitikki> |
Aw, boohoo, you couldn't get rejected by women there |
| 4093 |
spif |
<Nerfdude> |
Hey 15 year old look at my dick http //i.imgur.com/Ph7PgcD.jpg |
| 4092 |
res0 |
<Electropop> |
I wanna win just for a dildo... |
| 4091 |
spif |
<secretninjaket> |
That's why I call all my boyfriends daddy, obviously |
| 4090 |
_Deity |
<secretninjaket> |
Dad dicks are always huge |
| 4089 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
How does a freckle get on the dick? |
| 4088 |
rikkitikki |
<memmek2k> |
normal state for a dick is kinda wrinkly |
| 4087 |
memmek2k |
<Nerfdude> |
My dong is smooth even without ironing |
| 4086 |
spif |
<secretninjaket> |
who'd want wrinkley dick pics anyway |
| 4085 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
Im just a 21 year old girl.. |
| 4084 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
so my tanning lotion is frozen solid |
| 4083 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
We could go Black Mirror on this.... Live stream the conversation and we'll let mob rule determine what you say. |
| 4082 |
TenthTARDIS |
<_Deity> |
that was your one and only delquote ever for life Nyghtshade |
| 4081 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
Im not wearing underwear~! |
| 4080 |
GreetingsADM |
<Nyghtshade> |
I like potato soup. |
| 4079 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
I feel like the ass and mouth have to come into play somewhere along the line. |
| 4078 |
nerd|chores |
<misspwn> |
i can confirm though no boner problems here |
| 4077 |
nerd|chores |
<Nyghtshade> |
Not ripping at the skin throbbing and bulging... but those half assed ones, you struggle to get up when you're drunk. |
| 4076 |
GreetingsADM |
<Nyghtshade> |
Nobody robs my boner. |
| 4075 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
Am I a potato of the OreIda Nation? I think so. |
| 4074 |
Electropop |
<spif> |
Nyghtshade: time flies when you're having a terrorist takeover of a region of the world |
| 4073 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
Like... is there a floppy flesh extension between your legs? |
| 4072 |
DeSJ2017 |
<Nyghtshade> |
So a Ford dealership is routinely fucking my parents up the ass with Diagnosis charges for their ford Focus. |
| 4071 |
k27463 |
<rikkitikki> |
don't stop < that's what your mom said last night |
| 4070 |
k27463 |
<spif> |
nobody fucks uncles quite like you |
| 4069 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
Bump and grind it |
| 4068 |
rikkitikki |
<GreetingsADM> |
have you tried putting your ear up to your cat's urethra? |
| 4067 |
DeSJ2017 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
places the malformed scrotum in his scrot kiln |
| 4066 |
k27463 |
<||cw> |
scrotumsmith? like, hand crafts nutsacks? |
| 4065 |
DeSJ2017 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i figured you twerked at it and gota freemovie |
| 4064 |
_Deity |
<rikkitikki> |
I have no preference on the size |
| 4063 |
rikkitikki |
<_Deity> |
it can be tiny if you want, but ill definitely pay you |
| 4062 |
_Deity |
<DeSJ2017> |
I'm pretty wide eyed during the day but the afternoon man... thats when it gets weird |
| 4061 |
_Deity |
<rikkitikki> |
Calm yoself |
| 4060 |
spif |
<frisv> |
we're all smoking whale |
| 4059 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
_Deity's only badge is in vadge |
| 4058 |
spif |
<_Deity> |
I thought it was funny because I just learned at that time that superman says to slap a jap |
| 4057 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
Big Beautiful Spif |
| 4056 |
_Deity |
<bbbeluga> |
there are 6 different kinds of tea bags available to me at work |
| 4055 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i try to live my life based on the conclusions of !8ball |
| 4054 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
If they want to go somewhere where their feelings are cherished, they should go to tumblr |
| 4053 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
High schoolers are just fresh meat here |
| 4052 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
i'm good at plugging holes |
| 4051 |
k27463 |
<nerd|work> |
idiots. |
| 4050 |
spif |
<Chewbaccer> |
The dead don't resist |
| 4049 |
bbbeluga |
<DeliriumTremens> |
why is my dad the best person to ask about oxygenated sea monkey water? |
| 4048 |
Nerfdude |
<DeliriumTremens> |
and this evening has peed out of her box twice |
| 4047 |
bbbeluga |
<El Dubb> |
only the tastiest meats go in my mouth |
| 4046 |
rikkitikki |
<res0> |
rikki's pretty hot for a 12 year old |
| 4045 |
Omega037 |
<rikkitikki> |
I don't have the proportions of a midget |
| 4044 |
Pb_ft |
<||cw> |
compilers have low standards |
| 4043 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i wouldn't come here if it weren't for DLbot |
| 4042 |
Omega037 |
<_Deity> |
shit im half inclined to hire someone to hold my cock anyway |
| 4041 |
dolemite7 |
<bbbeluga> |
i made my own body butter |
| 4040 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
men dont leak tears over typos |
| 4039 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
Chank and res0 can't stop fighting about your mom. |
| 4038 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Notbrad> |
your cock is immersive |
| 4037 |
_Deity |
<hydro|> |
plenty of loose binders in the CWE |
| 4036 |
res0 |
<Notbrad> |
my partner was like 7 inches taller than me so i felt like i had to reach really far |
| 4035 |
spif |
<hydro|> |
finally I'm pooping |
| 4034 |
dolemite7 |
<GreetingsADM> |
They're the ones that shave the meat in front of you |
| 4033 |
_Deity |
<Nyghtshade> |
Funny thing, I could go to prison for telling you I'm certified by the government. |
| 4032 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
The pain was all dick. |
| 4031 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
i think i would've stuffed something in my ass during all that, distract myself |
| 4030 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
smell not inhale, worst scent ever too |
| 4029 |
k27463 |
<secretninjaket_> |
Oh no! My secret has been revealed! woe is me!!!! |
| 4028 |
spif |
<secretninjaket_> |
Well I have boobs as big as my face. That's not scary at all! |
| 4027 |
_Deity |
<spotmonk> |
I'd buy some romance from you Electropop |
| 4026 |
spif |
<Omega037> |
god, why do i have to poop so much |
| 4025 |
scittles |
<frisv> |
alton is the place to be |
| 4024 |
rikki|afk |
<GreetingsADM> |
If you wear a hijab/burqua, you can poop anywhere |
| 4023 |
spif |
<_Deity> |
and just put a picture of my balls on tinder and see what happens |
| 4022 |
_Deity |
<hawkgpg> |
i better make that girls twitter tinder trolling |
| 4021 |
spif |
<Merlin00> |
I guess dudes send messages on there and jerk off |
| 4020 |
introspectr3 |
<Nyghtshade> |
Fuck my dates are all screwed. |
| 4019 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
he just petted me like a dog. |
| 4018 |
spif |
<grobend> |
I wish we were still allowed to eat our young |
| 4017 |
_Deity |
<res0> |
hyth is the sound a gay snake makes |
| 4016 |
res0 |
<Electropop> |
I can't even find my bra let alone a place in STL |
| 4015 |
Electropop |
<frisv> |
I want to be a backup dancer on the hammer time music video |
| 4014 |
res0 |
<Electropop> |
Do you like shit bleeding? |
| 4013 |
res0 |
<Electropop> |
Can someone bless my womb? |
| 4012 |
anotherbofh |
<Electropop> |
jesus I don't remember them sucking so much. |
| 4011 |
anotherbofh |
<spif> |
I like meat |
| 4010 |
spotmonk |
<Electropoop> |
Lol my Breasts hold sadness and despair. |
| 4009 |
k27463 |
<Merlin00> |
they look pretty much the same size to me |
| 4008 |
_Deity |
<DeliriumTremens> |
MISSPWN FARTED |
| 4007 |
spif |
<Evin> |
1. I wish I had an iron man sweater and 2. Funeral. |
| 4006 |
nerddtvg |
<hydro|> |
have to remove the vestiges of British fisting and squirting |
| 4005 |
Pb_ft |
<res0> |
a good way to make sure people don't take you seriously is referring to people as "chimps" |
| 4004 |
res0 |
<frisv> |
i have so many things that become erect |
| 4003 |
Chank |
<bbbelugaphone> |
You heard wrong. Boobs are fun! |
| 4002 |
_Deity |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED THIS |
| 4001 |
spif |
<Nerfdude> |
It's like the mos eisley cantina with boobs and vagina |
| 4000 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Electropop> |
I do res0 with my fists |
| 3999 |
rdm |
<Electropop> |
It's long and complicated and just a pain |
| 3998 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
orfice party |
| 3997 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
look, cat, you want your vag to stop hurting or not? |
| 3996 |
Omega037 |
<dolemite7> |
OH MY GOD GET YOUR GODDAMN FINGERS OUT OF MY MOUTH |
| 3995 |
whiteruski |
<_Deity> |
"Yeah baby, ill defrag that drive" "You like it when i grep | that ass" |
| 3994 |
k27463 |
<Omega037> |
what sex do you have to change to for rikki to be happy? |
| 3993 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
"let the creep flow through you" |
| 3992 |
spif |
<misspwn> |
sira just means i hate fun |
| 3991 |
Electropop |
<grobend> |
Black people shouldn't be allowed to get married |
| 3990 |
k27463 |
<GreetingsADM> |
I imagine there would be a cream pie somewhere around there |
| 3989 |
res0 |
<Electropop> |
"HE GUYS LETS FUCK INSTEAD OF PLAYING CARDS" |
| 3988 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
People with genitals |
| 3987 |
_Deity |
<hawkgpg> |
the crack fox was my first drag show! |
| 3986 |
frisv |
<Evin> |
It is S&T, there's tons of women, but not that many. |
| 3985 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
I'm Carrie the redheaded conifer |
| 3984 |
Omega037 |
<Nyghtshade> |
I should murder my family. |
| 3983 |
Omega037 |
<Nyghtshade> |
My penis works! |
| 3982 |
Omega037 |
<_Deity> |
there is nothing remotely troll about comparing my shit to opinions |
| 3981 |
Notbrad |
<_Deity> |
i forget people that dont really do anything entertaining or have at least a little character |
| 3980 |
_Deity |
<Nyghtshade> |
That came out of my dick |
| 3979 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
pull it out Nyghtshade ! |
| 3978 |
GreetingsADM |
<bbbeluga> |
hun, if we wanted to hook you up with expensive drugs, you would have to be more likeable first |
| 3977 |
spif |
<Nerfdude> |
I'm going to marry a ferrari mounted fleshlight |
| 3976 |
Electropop |
<hawkgpg> |
i use my penis for jello shots |
| 3975 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
and the DJ put on single ladies..and my grandma got on the table and did the dance |
| 3974 |
DeityKringle |
<Electropop> |
grandma and I will get some |
| 3973 |
Nerfdude |
<Omega037> |
Electropop, once you take your first cum bath, you will understand it all |
| 3972 |
Omega037 |
<DeityKringle> |
oral sex is indeed sodomy |
| 3971 |
spif |
<ajwalsh44> |
where can i get a hot weina |
| 3970 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
GETCHA HOT JUICY WEINAS |
| 3969 |
Omega037 |
<hawkgpg> |
i think at this point, it's now just tradition to burn down a QT whenever someone gets shot |
| 3968 |
anotherbofh |
<Omega037> |
this wouldnt have happened to you Nyghtshade if you loved Jesus more |
| 3967 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
sometimes its just hard, guys |
| 3966 |
frisv |
<spindleblood> |
I just need a fucking machine shop |
| 3965 |
spif |
<frisv> |
plus every bathroom visit comes with free masturbation |
| 3964 |
rikkitikki |
<res0> |
El Dubb will pilot you through the turbulence of your first time |
| 3963 |
_Deity |
<rikkitikki> |
Cuz I wasn't sure if people wanted to grab that |
| 3962 |
rdm |
<kerouac> |
uncut is like natures french tickler |
| 3961 |
Omega037 |
<rikkitikki> |
Again, I'm not an expert on these things since I don't generally do butt stuff |
| 3960 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
Having a string in your dick deserves some ice cream. |
| 3959 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
Lol I have string hanging out of my dick. My whole purpose for being here is for people to tease me. |
| 3958 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
THEY WANT YOU TO GRAB THE STRING FROM YOUR DICK AND PULL IT? |
| 3957 |
rikkitikki |
<Electropop> |
So..does it like dangle? |
| 3956 |
Electropop |
<Nyghtshade> |
SO I have a blue string hanging out of my dick guys. |
| 3955 |
rikkitikki |
<spif> |
I don't know everyone |
| 3954 |
HoneyBadja |
<frisv> |
if glazed sugar is causing dick problems, maybe you should ask your doctor about xarelto |
| 3953 |
res0 |
<scittles> |
you can turn around in my driveway and shove it through the mail slot |
| 3952 |
nerddtvg |
<Omega037> |
"hey baby, u been pregnant yet? *wink*" |
| 3951 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
I learned a lot about drugs over the summer! 8D |
| 3950 |
spif |
<Evin> |
The Holocaust never happened! |
| 3949 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
I am not a butthole |
| 3948 |
_Deity |
<spif> |
or a cousin love |
| 3947 |
bbbeluga |
<spif> |
I love you bbbeluga |
| 3946 |
||cw |
<Evin> |
Sometimes you just want to cut your face up and then vacuum off the skin flaps. |
| 3945 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
do you even internet? |
| 3944 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
oh man, i bet squatting with balls is more complicated |
| 3943 |
nerd|work |
<anotherbofh> |
The first time's always special |
| 3942 |
Merlin00 |
<spotmonk> |
I bet bbbeluga smells like vanilla and pussy juice |
| 3941 |
frisv |
<Electropop> |
I THOUGHT I GOT A 69!!! |
| 3940 |
nerd|work |
<scittles> |
way better than gonorrhea day |
| 3939 |
spotmonk |
<GreetingsADM> |
Now that I think about it, I'm not sure where my Nuts is |
| 3938 |
spif |
<_Deity> |
if you shit something out of your vagina you would claim it too |
| 3937 |
spif |
<misspwn> |
what if i sneeze and poop my pants |
| 3936 |
timotab |
<frisv> |
yeah my meatloaf is smashed down like dough, maybe an inch thick |
| 3935 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
i know as much about paralegals as i do tampons |
| 3934 |
scittles |
<dolemite7> |
AGLHGLHGLHAGLHAGLHAGLHAGLHGLHAGLHGLAGHAGLHAGHAG |
| 3933 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
you can also wear the hat when you shave your pubes |
| 3932 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
RAZM FLAZM JIZM JAZM |
| 3931 |
rikki|afk |
<DeliriumTremens> |
that stuff is like wiping with angels wings |
| 3930 |
Merlin00 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
because i like my butt |
| 3929 |
nerd|work |
<frisv> |
i was amazed barbara walters was still alive |
| 3928 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
what is the penis game from my childhood that im supposed to remember fondly? |
| 3927 |
nerddtvg |
<introspectr3> |
its cool though, when you have as few brain cells as i assume you must have, you gotta moderate |
| 3926 |
_Deity |
<Nyghtshade> |
I can see how people would get hooked on Heroin. |
| 3925 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
shepards hooks belong outside of the dick |
| 3924 |
spif |
<xxxt> |
i keep my pubes in a nice little happy trail so the women can find my micropenis |
| 3923 |
spif |
<xxxt> |
it probably tastes like unwashed lumbersexual |
| 3922 |
Omega037 |
<rikkitikki> |
I AM FILLED WITH BABIES |
| 3921 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
SUCK MY DICK DELL |
| 3920 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
I mean..you have to have a big breast to accomplish that |
| 3919 |
DeliriumTremens |
<scittles> |
i have never been or had a hummdinger |
| 3918 |
Electropop |
<frisv> |
if my penis ever fell off, i'd be a lesbian |
| 3917 |
spif |
<frisv> |
i dont think you pooped in my dream |
| 3916 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
i wonder what pooping on a space boat was like |
| 3915 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
Then I can look at her butt while she is mixing things |
| 3914 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
go to alton square. it's the square beyond compare |
| 3913 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
SAILBOT |
| 3912 |
spif |
<scittles> |
DUDE right?? mine smell worse freshly shaven too |
| 3911 |
spif |
<frisv> |
no more 69 fucks |
| 3910 |
GreetingsADM |
<Electropop> |
I want a banana now. |
| 3909 |
res0 |
<scittles> |
...like restocking the bananas? |
| 3908 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i prefer vaginal impaling |
| 3907 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
RUNNING A TRAIN ON k27463 |
| 3906 |
Merlin00 |
<DLbot> |
axe9|work has said the phrase "fuck work" 0 times. |
| 3905 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
whats the hot new thing this year? elbows in vaginas? |
| 3904 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
but i do think they were rubbing their nipples |
| 3903 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Nicki Minaj's ass bends time. |
| 3902 |
rikkitikki |
<axe9|work> |
ASIANS DON'T HAVE MUCH BODY HAIR |
| 3901 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Nyghtshade> |
And my dicks farted twice now from the air trapped in my urinary system. |
| 3900 |
nerd|skewl |
<Electropop> |
Looks like my ass is going back to AT&T on a plan |
| 3899 |
nerd|skewl |
<Nerfdude> |
I plan to buy a sex bot and lots of neat shoes for myself |
| 3898 |
_Deity |
<kerouac> |
we have a creampie named after us |
| 3897 |
_Deity |
<fowl> |
all scientists want to do is create monsters of unspeakable horrors |
| 3896 |
_Deity |
<Nerfdude> |
Every time I shave with an electric I get severe razor burn |
| 3895 |
_Deity |
<xxxt> |
i overtrained this whole week and my body is on the verge of collapsing and shutdown |
| 3894 |
funkyb |
<xxxt> |
SHOVE YOUR KISS STRAIGHT THRU MY CHEST |
| 3893 |
funkyb |
<xxxt> |
her pussy looks like something youd see on the scrap floor at a pig slaughter farm |
| 3892 |
_Deity |
<xxxt> |
my sperm turns from a liquid to plasma after being passed thru a red hot chicks ass. |
| 3891 |
Omega037 |
<_Deity> |
i can tell you the strain from smell |
| 3890 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
It's like you're watching people bang through a window |
| 3889 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
that porn is HD as fuck |
| 3888 |
timotab |
<res0> |
bbbeluga: that will require a special sword holder |
| 3887 |
dolemite7 |
<bbbeluga> |
probably because im used to typing penis and so much |
| 3886 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
cone boobies |
| 3885 |
_Deity |
<frisv> |
I wish i still had one |
| 3884 |
spif |
<introspectr3> |
fuckable is as fuckable does |
| 3883 |
Killsudo |
<SantaDeity> |
Subaru* |
| 3882 |
Electropop |
<hawkgpg> |
Colorado: the land of weed and Subaras |
| 3881 |
nerd|work |
<spif> |
how is intarnat formed? |
| 3880 |
spif |
<Electropop> |
IT IS SO HOT IN HERE IM GONNA TAKE MY CLOTHES OFFF |
| 3879 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
oh jeez i'm farting again |
| 3878 |
res0 |
<frisv> |
i feel like jerry seinfeld would say something like "if you're eating pasta in the future, why do they call it pasta? they should call it futura" |
| 3877 |
octalsrc |
<introspect4> |
God is a bunch of neurons! |
| 3876 |
spif |
<frisv> |
My thighs are bulging with anticipation |
| 3875 |
Nerfdude |
<bbbeluga> |
i'm the worst |
| 3874 |
spif |
<frisv> |
Basically talk about balls or female parts and you'll get grabbed. Its easy for women. |
| 3873 |
frisv |
<secretninjaket> |
there rolls are huge, like I can barely fit them in my mouth |
| 3872 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
I'm obsessed with pornography |
| 3871 |
spif |
<secretninjaket> |
like I contribute besides providing the boobs |
| 3870 |
k27463 |
<ajwalsh44> |
there's a buttplug for that |
| 3869 |
spif |
<scittles> |
too many complaints of dick in the box |
| 3868 |
spif |
<master_poop> |
i like them chewy for my poop |
| 3867 |
rikkitikki |
<spif> |
I'd just like to find a girl |
| 3866 |
k27463 |
<Evin> |
Keep your periods under control. |
| 3865 |
SantaDeity |
<Omega037> |
ive never actually had sex with an asian person |
| 3864 |
Nerfdude |
<funkyb> |
I can see it now "Here lies some dude....he had a hot wife. Too bad about the hammers." |
| 3863 |
introspectr3 |
<SantaDeity> |
introspectr3: you just got an invite to the hunger games if i ever do want to kill someone |
| 3862 |
Deity|notwork |
<bbbeluga> |
Deity|notwork, calm down silly |
| 3861 |
bbbeluga |
<spif> |
creeper |
| 3860 |
spif |
<secretninjaket> |
but i'm only a situational slut so there's that |
| 3859 |
spif |
<secretninjaket> |
hey now. pussies can take a pounding, don't be fooled, fool |
| 3858 |
k27463 |
<Deity|notwork> |
i am the dick... so that makes everyone else a pussy or asshole |
| 3857 |
k27463 |
<spif> |
no sex til your mom |
| 3856 |
spif |
<secretninjaket> |
bill gates is working on a silicone fancy condom which i'm hella excited for |
| 3855 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
I do love transgenic insertion |
| 3854 |
spif |
<Nerfdude> |
anonymous = dicks |
| 3853 |
spif |
<Nerfdude> |
I'm just saying I'd feel like bbbeluga feels all the time because of her gingerness |
| 3852 |
Nerfdude |
<misspwn> |
i like dix |
| 3851 |
timotab |
<Omega037> |
she also has a septum piercing, which is kinda meh |
| 3850 |
_Deity |
<Nerfdude> |
SOMEONE CUT MY FORRDKIN OFF |
| 3849 |
_Deity |
<Electropop> |
I can craft a mean mother fucking cooler yah'lls |
| 3848 |
introspectr |
<Omega037> |
her penis? |
| 3847 |
_Deity |
<hawkgpg> |
anotherbofh i've got a green man morphsuit! |
| 3846 |
_Deity |
<anotherbofh> |
not taking it though... just knowing it's around |
| 3845 |
DeliriumTremens |
<hawkgpg> |
like, i can take a button up top and tie it in that school girl fashion. but i got nothing to do for bottoms |
| 3844 |
nerddtvg |
<_Deity> |
testes testes 1 2 3 |
| 3843 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
sometimes i feel like my boob bounce to the phrase "bippity boopity boop" |
| 3842 |
nerddtvg |
<Electropop> |
My breasts hold sadness, and despair. |
| 3841 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
i use boobs to hold many things |
| 3840 |
nerddtvg |
<secretninjaket> |
I still want to see a helicopter dick... |
| 3839 |
nerddtvg |
<Electropop> |
are dicks fun? |
| 3838 |
nerddtvg |
<secretninjaket> |
nerddtvg, stop grabbing me prevert |
| 3837 |
nerddtvg |
<secretninjaket> |
i would have a quote about big dick problems |
| 3836 |
nerddtvg |
<secretninjaket> |
someone on bdp just referred to his dick as the great equalizer. lmao |
| 3835 |
Omega037 |
<grobend> |
I'm a moron |
| 3834 |
spif |
<grobend> |
Was I even drunk when I showed you guys my penis? |
| 3833 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
TIL nerd|work is a pot brownie. |
| 3832 |
_Deity |
<grobend> |
Let's start lynching them again. |
| 3831 |
k27463 |
<anotherbofh> |
Erroneous, we're planning a do it in the butt meetup |
| 3830 |
k27463 |
<grobend> |
Let's assassinate Nixon. |
| 3829 |
_Deity |
<grobend> |
Daryl Parks is one ugly nigger. |
| 3828 |
anotherbofh |
<grobend> |
How do you know how long my dick is just from that picture? |
| 3827 |
timotab |
<Electropop> |
timotab is a fantastic man |
| 3826 |
Pb_ft |
<Nyghtshade> |
You'd be a "bitch ass nigga" to be afraid of some "honkey in camo" |
| 3825 |
_Deity_ |
<forest_> |
you guys are so cool |
| 3824 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
its so weird to hear a 5 year old say 'Seperatists' |
| 3823 |
funkyb|dusty |
<nerd|work> |
better if I said "finger"? |
| 3822 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
apparently size does matter |
| 3821 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
white pickup turning around in my driveway |
| 3820 |
res0 |
<Nyghtshade> |
21 24 inches is actually the size I'm looking for. any larger, and it won't fit underneath the hutch of my current desk. |
| 3819 |
funkyb|dusty |
<nerd|crusty> |
an okay orgy is better than no orgy at all! |
| 3818 |
nerd|crusty |
<Electropop> |
my upstairs neighbors having a mid afternoon sex session |
| 3817 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
#occupytaint |
| 3816 |
Nerfdude |
<pikhq_> |
Cop meets boy, cop shoots boy, cop walks, everything is now on fire. |
| 3815 |
DLbot |
<hawkgpg> |
i hope this doesn't affect trivia..... |
| 3814 |
k27463 |
<Nerfdude> |
They finally got all those hot n readys they couldn't afford |
| 3813 |
rikki|riotty |
<Nerfdude> |
But seriously, I was eating a "triple layer nachos" and drinking an orange juice and it just kind of hit me that I'm eating peasant gruel in a living 1984 |
| 3812 |
rikki|riotty |
<Nerfdude> |
You use two seashells to scoop out your butt |
| 3811 |
Deity_ |
<rikkitikki> |
Extra crispy little caesar's |
| 3810 |
Deity_ |
<Nyghtshade> |
If I didn't have a job and didn't care about my future I'd be murdering people right now. |
| 3809 |
rikkitikki |
<Nerfdude> |
I've made interracial love, the blacks pick up on that somehow |
| 3808 |
rikkitikki |
<ajwalsh44> |
baja sauce + cum |
| 3807 |
Electropop |
<scittles> |
Happy bday res0... Celebrate with looting |
| 3806 |
TenthTARDIS |
<misspwn> |
my balls are big enough |
| 3805 |
k27463 |
<misspwn> |
how about you grab my nutsack instead TenthTARDIS |
| 3804 |
FalseProphet |
<TurkeyDeity> |
if he instigated the attack then fuck him i hope he goes to prison and gets raped by every inmate where he goes |
| 3803 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
THANKS DARREN WILSON |
| 3802 |
nerd|work |
<GreetingsADM> |
oh God, I feel like I've done something horrible if I got a LOL from grobend |
| 3801 |
nerd|work |
<GreetingsADM> |
Prevent unwanted pregnancies Keep it in the O |
| 3800 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Does your sister in law have a handlebar mustache and a fixie too? |
| 3799 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm a Big Mac Protector |
| 3798 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
zebra cake monday, cause even though the protestors are white, they're black on the inside |
| 3797 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
saint louis underground train, otherwise known as the SLUT |
| 3796 |
k27463 |
<timotab> |
your mom was fun while she lasted |
| 3795 |
bbbeluga |
<scittles> |
love hours make his fingers not function |
| 3794 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
He'll just take all their heads and arms off anyway |
| 3793 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
your mom has some big hangars |
| 3792 |
Omega037 |
<_Deity> |
i support nazism and slavery |
| 3791 |
nerddtvg |
<introspectr3> |
hey im about to light the typical irc fatty afire |
| 3790 |
Omega037 |
<Merlin00> |
no amount of batwinging is going to make shaving balls a thing |
| 3789 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
Oh god, don't let agree to a guy who asks you if he can batwing your face |
| 3788 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
what, you've never dipped your balls in a cup |
| 3787 |
introspectr3 |
<misspwn> |
you don't want to nick your eggs |
| 3786 |
timotab |
<Nerfdude> |
I don't do anything strenuous in the jeanz |
| 3785 |
Omega037 |
<Nerfdude> |
My tractor beam peen is stronger than my smelly pants |
| 3784 |
k27463 |
<tadni> |
CAUSE I GET THE LADIIIIIIIIIES. |
| 3783 |
k27463 |
<tadni> |
TurkeyDeity: Too bad you aren't a cock, I would eat ya. |
| 3782 |
frisv |
<scittles> |
black oppression http //img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100619203209/ttte/images/3/37/CallingAllEngines104.jpg |
| 3781 |
k27463 |
<grobend> |
It's like all the lowest IQ groups of people are converging in ferguson! |
| 3780 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
or the trains! SAVE THE TRAINS! |
| 3779 |
k27463 |
<Chank> |
is your bae turtling? |
| 3778 |
GreetingsADM |
<scittles> |
good thing i'm in alton where everything is bad and cheap |
| 3777 |
timotab |
<frisv> |
pretty big. jammed with meat |
| 3776 |
Omega037 |
<willisnutz43> |
who is jizzing in tube socks now? |
| 3775 |
Pb_ft |
<rikkitikki> |
Pb_ft remember that time I met you for like five seconds |
| 3774 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
you guys seem to really want erectile dysfunction badly |
| 3773 |
Pb_ft |
<_Deity> |
everyone loves my balls |
| 3772 |
Omega037 |
<_Deity> |
tell him $20 and a bj |
| 3771 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
I'll squirrel it up for you baby |
| 3770 |
Evin |
<Electropop> |
I cried while I killed them |
| 3769 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
POKEFEST 2014 featuring RES0 and RIKKITIKKI |
| 3768 |
timotab |
<Electropop> |
She is pretty but she can suck sometimes. |
| 3767 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
modx makes me want to slam my dick in a dresser drawer |
| 3766 |
anotherbofh |
<kitkatkaytee> |
I think I'll stick to being a housenotwife, |
| 3765 |
hawkgpg |
<anotherbofh> |
my mom walked in on me once... she was too embarassed to do anything but turn around. Later she acted all disappointed, but I think she was secretly glad I wasn't gay |
| 3764 |
hawkgpg |
<Notbrad> |
a neckbeard fedora walks by and WHOOPS VAGINA |
| 3763 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Nerfdude> |
So it's really easy to be a pedophile at anime conventions? Noted |
| 3762 |
timotab |
<spotmonk> |
also, I always read your name as Electropoop |
| 3761 |
timotab |
<frisv> |
finally i can buy a 55 gallon drum of lube |
| 3760 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
my friend's uncle once drank enough wild irish rose to think he could fly and jumped out a third story window |
| 3759 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i hope i'm not blacking out and killing a bunch of people then coming back to work |
| 3758 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
unless like, autononmous blowjob bots came up out of the pavement as you drove past |
| 3757 |
dolemite7 |
<scittles> |
it's all in the grip |
| 3756 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
how have I not explored this corner of porn before |
| 3755 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
lesbian porn |
| 3754 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
"i've never had fatherwood this big before" |
| 3753 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm going to take your vegan lasagna to Ferguson just so someone will burn it. |
| 3752 |
res0 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
We could rasturbate it and make a wall to wall cubicle wrap of my taint |
| 3751 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
This whole conversation could have easily been avoided if you just would have said "Sorry, I should have tagged it. I'll go kill myself now." |
| 3750 |
Notbrad |
<Nerfdude> |
I'm gonna turn that shit to poop |
| 3749 |
Merlin00 |
<Nerfdude> |
Rad, imma put that shit in my face |
| 3748 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
I like my tables how I like my 3 way orgies: 4 legs and lots of wood |
| 3747 |
Nerfdude |
<bbbeluga> |
did you see all of the balls i was holding!? |
| 3746 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bbbeluga> |
my favorite part was getting to cup all the balls in my hands |
| 3745 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
but instead it just feels like someone shit in my mouth and pushed me down the stairs |
| 3744 |
anotherbofh |
<Electropop> |
My coworker tried to teach me how to moan today at work. |
| 3743 |
DeliriumTremens |
<timotab> |
We had french toast for breakfast, but where's the snow and riots?! I feel hard done by! |
| 3742 |
Omega037 |
<introspectr> |
tell your mom ill come look at porn with her :) |
| 3741 |
DeliriumTremens |
<scittles> |
DeliriumTremens i have 3 boxes. i wouldn't say overflowing |
| 3740 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i'm a regular housewife |
| 3739 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i still feel like i don't know the limitations of my poop sizes |
| 3738 |
k27463 |
<tadni> |
I was a very big, baby faced fucker. |
| 3737 |
nerd|gone |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Today on "dolemite7 goes full grobend" |
| 3736 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
he could take a pretty girthy cock |
| 3735 |
frisv |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my ass is lonely now |
| 3734 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
when I think of DeliriumTremens I think of shit |
| 3733 |
rikkitikki |
<scittles> |
i too am confused by just how gay Evin is for the record |
| 3732 |
nerd|work |
<scittles> |
welp i guess we know what happened to his penis |
| 3731 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"The guy standing over there has a 15" dick, therefore by extension so do I" |
| 3730 |
res0 |
<k27463> |
the kids like long trains |
| 3729 |
spif |
<Merlin00> |
for naked boobs |
| 3728 |
_Deity |
<Notbrad> |
i want to knock Omega037 up |
| 3727 |
_Deity |
<spif> |
it's always about to get weird |
| 3726 |
_Deity |
<Evin> |
I feel like she could win that game holding a 2 of clubs, a baseball card, the card with instructions on how to play, a stamp and a piece of cardboard. |
| 3725 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i have some really short chubbies... my mom got them for me... they're basically ass shorts for men... |
| 3724 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
whale whale whale |
| 3723 |
Merlin00 |
<dolemite7> |
Merlin00 has said the phrase "uNF" 69 times. |
| 3722 |
frisv |
<DLbot> |
Obviously, I'm not doing something right. |
| 3721 |
_Deity_ |
<hawkgpg> |
i went dumpster diving at lindenwood and got 2 new pairs of shoes. Yes. they were new. |
| 3720 |
timotab |
<Electropop> |
Send me a live chicken. I know how to kill it |
| 3719 |
Chank |
<frisv> |
strap it to your hips |
| 3718 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
2 holes are better than one |
| 3717 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bbbeluga> |
like your mom is so fat two whales tried to make her into a mom sandwich |
| 3716 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
all the darn neighborhood kids ejaculating in outdoor trash cans |
| 3715 |
DeliriumTremens |
<scittles> |
that is quite the pile of meat tho |
| 3714 |
funkyb |
<frisv> |
I would be at the same level of arousement if you sent me a dick pic |
| 3713 |
bbbeluga |
<introspectr> |
ya, just hearing of people who receive near sexual plessure from something i just happen to do frequently... |
| 3712 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
pb ft peanut butter facetits |
| 3711 |
k27463 |
<misspwn> |
oh i meant we all pile on her |
| 3710 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
the stuff that comes out of girls |
| 3709 |
rikkitikki |
<axe9|work> |
y'all need jesus |
| 3708 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
Those are fun to play with :D |
| 3707 |
Omega037 |
<xxxt> |
i want jessica rabbit to sit on my face |
| 3706 |
tadni |
<Omega037> |
seems like a pretty big assumption that she would be into that |
| 3705 |
Omega037 |
<tadni> |
My "sister", is what I call my blanket forts. So when people ask we what I'm doing down there, I say "leave me alone, I'm enjoying myself in my sister" |
| 3704 |
tadni |
<Omega037> |
i sometimes misread tadni as little bitch |
| 3703 |
tadni |
<Omega037> |
Electropoop, tadni's penis is like one of those fuzzy caterpillars |
| 3702 |
Omega037 |
<tadni> |
So I can hang you by the fucking neck. |
| 3701 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
it will be in 30seconds when i'm done |
| 3700 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
we can make big cocks together |
| 3699 |
Nerfdude |
<timotab> |
if you want something XXX rated, what about that one with your mom in it? |
| 3698 |
rikkitikki |
<xxxt> |
these carrots taste like bugs bunnys asshole |
| 3697 |
k27463 |
<misspwn> |
god misspwn stop having a crush on bbbeluga so much |
| 3696 |
Nerfdude |
<Omega037> |
see, in a situation like this you could say "man, i love the way a pearl necklace feels on my chest" |
| 3695 |
Nerfdude |
<misspwn> |
Electropoop, then on date 3 if things are going good, let him pee in your butt, but not before that or he won't respect you |
| 3694 |
nerd|gone |
<xxxt> |
sure, trannies, whatever |
| 3693 |
k27463 |
<tadni> |
misspwn: I LOVE the dark meat. |
| 3692 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
the one i have is falling apart |
| 3691 |
res0 |
<frisv> |
oh man i could've had an electro poop for real if i moved those electric physical therapy pads to my anus |
| 3690 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
are you a bookmark? because i want you in between my sheets |
| 3689 |
k27463 |
<tadni> |
I'm just a caramel apple, stuck in a bear's body. |
| 3688 |
rikkitikki |
<anotherbofh> |
tadni, a philosopher you are not |
| 3687 |
rikkitikki |
<Queen_Laqueefah> |
one can not simply grab a grab of a grab if a grab could grab two grabs at once |
| 3686 |
tadni |
<k27463> |
BRAAAAINS? |
| 3685 |
k27463 |
<Queen_Laqueefah> |
what, a strong black independent woman like myself cannot enjoy a chilled grape beverage? |
| 3684 |
k27463 |
<tadni> |
_Deity Not when I hold a pillow over their dumb fucking faces. |
| 3683 |
anotherbofh |
<misspwn> |
WE HAVE THE SAME BUTTS |
| 3682 |
k27463 |
<rikkitikki> |
my booty too big |
| 3681 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
I like my women how I like my Frisbees, hard and with big lips |
| 3680 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
Straight from the Wabash valley to my mouth |
| 3679 |
Omega037 |
<Nerfdude> |
Yeah I also hate minorities and the gays now |
| 3678 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
How gay do you want it? |
| 3677 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
is missouri a gay state? |
| 3676 |
spif |
<frisv> |
oh man i forgot i stole some baby's candy |
| 3675 |
funkyb |
<||cw> |
brown tone? more like a butt fucking hobby lobby |
| 3674 |
xxxt |
<tadni> |
Fat sleezes operate entirely within a cupcake based economy. |
| 3673 |
bbbeluga |
<tadni> |
bbbeluga: I ONLY EAT COCK, PERIODS. |
| 3672 |
spif |
<_Deity> |
sourtap, is that what they call an uncleansed trim job? |
| 3671 |
Omega037 |
<Electropoop> |
Im an idiot. |
| 3670 |
res0 |
<misspwn> |
i kinda regret eating hot dogs |
| 3669 |
timotab |
<res0> |
you just have to shave his yak |
| 3668 |
Omega037 |
<Nerfdude> |
I dated a girl who slept on a futon mattress in the middle of a living room full of pet birds |
| 3667 |
timotab |
<Omega037> |
Deity, you are weird and i mean that in the worst possible way |
| 3666 |
k27463 |
<tadni> |
It's gotten better/worse since I got on all those meds for bipolar, but I used to be able to sweat and go in underwear in the snow for like an hour. |
| 3665 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Jesus christ guys, we don't call him "One Piss Tadni" for nothing'... |
| 3664 |
Nerfdude |
<tadni> |
k27463: I only go to Forest Park 3 times a week, I have maybe peed there 7 times, 3 have been in the woods, twice I "nearly" got caught. |
| 3663 |
k27463 |
<hawkgpg> |
hold on...... is forest park a national park? |
| 3662 |
k27463 |
<tadni> |
I could not imagine in any sane world, where peeing the woods of a national park not exposing yourself to anyone is more of a crime than having sex in a national park, in a parking lot, if you get caught. |
| 3661 |
res0 |
<k27463> |
dolemite7 i only do it when tadni's there |
| 3660 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
what kinda magical penis do you have than you can clear your urethra by rubbing the tip on the bottle |
| 3659 |
k27463 |
<hawkgpg> |
yeah, if i was caught it'd be public indecency. if tadni was caught he'd have to file as a sex offender |
| 3658 |
k27463 |
<Nerfdude> |
Sex in forest park feels somehow less depraved than peeing all over everyone else's good time |
| 3657 |
scarecrowdeity |
<misspwn> |
swap my butt spit |
| 3656 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
lol my britches are pretty dreamy |
| 3655 |
xxxt |
<tadni`> |
Okay, going to shit and fap, bbl. |
| 3654 |
Nerfdude |
<misspwn> |
it's just like sucking out of a hose so why not |
| 3653 |
SuperSloth |
<Evin> |
IT IS A COMPETITION AND I'M WINNING |
| 3652 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
you all smell bad |
| 3651 |
rikkitikki |
<Evin> |
I cover myself in beer regularly. |
| 3650 |
rikkitikki |
<Evin> |
talking about triggering people is my trigger, you shitlord. |
| 3649 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
I think big boob gals will be fine |
| 3648 |
DeliriumTremens |
<scittles> |
ok time for soup in my dark hidey hole |
| 3647 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
I could take mark ruffalo seriously deep in my ass |
| 3646 |
misspwn |
<tadni`> |
PumpkinDeity: If she's actually interested in me, she HAS to be a weirdo. |
| 3645 |
res0 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
but you love cream pies! |
| 3644 |
frisv |
<bbbeluga> |
strokes are hard sometimes |
| 3643 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
hmmm i found a stroke weight and changed it and now it's a little different |
| 3642 |
misspwn |
<frisv> |
THE STROKES ARE TOO GIRTHY |
| 3641 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
i need to reduce the width of the strokes |
| 3640 |
_Deity |
<xxxt> |
[23:50] <_Deity> if i had taken what i can get all the time id be flooded with fat girls and ugly broads |
| 3639 |
Nerfdude |
<_Deity> |
its all like || instead of {} |
| 3638 |
rikkitikki |
<Nerfdude> |
so flaccid right now |
| 3637 |
rikkitikki |
<Primesauce> |
I'm entirely made of fat and acne. |
| 3636 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
She hooked up with me then stole my heart and then it died because it was no longer in my body. |
| 3635 |
spif |
<frisv> |
pleasing our own peckers |
| 3634 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
pulsating oily obese penises |
| 3633 |
spif |
<frisv> |
poor old overworked penis |
| 3632 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
you use other fingers? |
| 3631 |
bbbeluga |
<timotab> |
so you have to extract the snot by some other means |
| 3630 |
timotab |
<Electropoop> |
Well yeah wipe it off..thats just common sense. |
| 3629 |
rikkitikki |
<Evin> |
sometimes you gotta put meat on your meat. |
| 3628 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
baby, get me a mcrib and i'll take you back to m'crib |
| 3627 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
i do it sometimes to find midgets and 6'3 former european basketball players for future intramural considerations |
| 3626 |
dolemite7 |
<scittles> |
it's the most gristly piece of meat i've ever had |
| 3625 |
bbbeluga |
<DeliriumTremens> |
There's your problem, you didn't milk up your penis pipe before trying to gulp the pie down |
| 3624 |
spif |
<frisv> |
longest ass wipe in history |
| 3623 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
Ass sweat and goopy ass piled up midday. |
| 3622 |
spif |
<frisv> |
i stopped dropping things when i became an adult.. which many argue hasnt happened yet |
| 3621 |
spif |
<pikhq> |
I swear, I only suck cock on days of the week that end in y! |
| 3620 |
nerd|work |
<frisv> |
lesson learned, don't get near bbbeluga's blowhole during whale trivia |
| 3619 |
nerd|work |
<Evin> |
bbbeluga i like tasty meatsnacks |
| 3618 |
res0 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I agree with Primesauce on something. Mark the occasion in the books. |
| 3617 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm just gonna stop shitting in public. It's all too much work. |
| 3616 |
GreetingsADM |
<Notbrad> |
sex is ok i guess |
| 3615 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
Puppetry of the Penis |
| 3614 |
poisomike87 |
<dolemite7> |
i been seein double A batteries shootin out urethras since y'all was drankin similac |
| 3613 |
nerddtvg |
<secretninjaket> |
nah pussies can take a pounding |
| 3612 |
spif |
<hawkgpg> |
when i was in high school, i had friends at all girl catholic schools. they said every month was no shave november |
| 3611 |
nerddtvg |
<Evin> |
My lady name is tina. |
| 3610 |
nerddtvg |
<Omega037> |
electropop, nerd is a 47 year old house wife who chain smokes marlboros and wears hot pants |
| 3609 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
so much meat |
| 3608 |
k27463 |
<tadni> |
"Go pleasure yourself." |
| 3607 |
k27463 |
<bbbeluga> |
i totally touched your butt multiple times |
| 3606 |
introspectr3 |
<Omega037> |
it doesnt mean i know everything, just more than you about this subject |
| 3605 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
Your mom is an encryption cunt |
| 3604 |
Omega037 |
<res0> |
puzzlecunt |
| 3603 |
Omega037 |
<GreetingsADM> |
a pussy with a protective shell |
| 3602 |
Omega037 |
<xxxt> |
i studied lock picking so i could open those damn chastity belts. |
| 3601 |
Nerfdude |
<rikkitikki> |
What good is being a lolita and having bloomers if I don't wear them when they're actually useful |
| 3600 |
bbbeluga |
<GreetingsADM> |
Kind of surprised it also doesn't make your penis turn inside out |
| 3599 |
frisv |
<scittles> |
spif do you ever have run ins with fat ladies spraying you with things |
| 3598 |
Omega037 |
<frisv> |
Although pasta semen ball is pretty accurate |
| 3597 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
I'm not sure this ESP peeing thing works |
| 3596 |
rikkitikki |
<Nerfdude> |
Maybe I'll miss my flight and just live here with my suitcase of crying sex dolls |
| 3595 |
timotab |
<Omega037> |
dont be that guy |
| 3594 |
spif |
<frisv> |
There is a secret on my back that I haven't shown you |
| 3593 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
difficult just makes it worth it |
| 3592 |
anotherbofh |
<frisv> |
Maybe blowjobs cause ebola |
| 3591 |
spif |
<tadni> |
Joking aside, it is really dumb they're just two orbs of fat. |
| 3590 |
spif |
<frisv> |
I hope they are also pro dick cash then |
| 3589 |
spif |
<tadni> |
I wish I didn't care about boobs; I'm an "adult" male, how gay is that? |
| 3588 |
spif |
<frisv> |
GDI I've been grabbed like 38 times today |
| 3587 |
spif |
<tadni> |
People just shouldn't wear clothes. |
| 3586 |
spif |
<frisv> |
Women should just wear jean overalls |
| 3585 |
spif |
<res0> |
buying KY Jelly? |
| 3584 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
I'm never eating one of those balls again |
| 3583 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
I wash my titties more than I wash my jeans, for sure |
| 3582 |
spif |
<frisv> |
i would think the average titty is cleaner than the average pocket |
| 3581 |
secretninjaket |
<frisv> |
situations that could get sticky is my forte |
| 3580 |
spif |
<frisv> |
capslock can be scrambled to make slapcock |
| 3579 |
k27463 |
<spif> |
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL CAPSLOCK DAY |
| 3578 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
Everytime his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel |
| 3577 |
spif |
<frisv> |
forget the bun, just use bacon |
| 3576 |
k27463 |
<spif> |
sliced cheese? what is this, socialism? |
| 3575 |
k27463 |
<spif> |
no donut |
| 3574 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
it's better to grab something you HAVE done, rather than grab something you HAVEN'T done. |
| 3573 |
k27463 |
<spif> |
my bad experiences and negative feelings and obsessions haunt me |
| 3572 |
bbbeluga |
<introspectr> |
lol can we get some scat too? |
| 3571 |
GreetingsADM |
<frisv> |
like when I say I'm bisexual, it means I have sex with every other gender |
| 3570 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
There's an underground communications network of IT vendors that they use to keep in jokes running on clients. I just know it. |
| 3569 |
k27463 |
<kerouac> |
it's one thing to pay spifs mom for sex |
| 3568 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
so long and thanks for all the boners |
| 3567 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
but thanks for the boner |
| 3566 |
rikkitikki |
<GreetingsADM> |
I wonder how they determined nipple size |
| 3565 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
if that were true, i would be putting my penne in your mostaccioli right now |
| 3564 |
res0 |
<secretninjaket> |
like fb needs to stay out of my vagina, just saying |
| 3563 |
spif |
<Nerfdude> |
A robot arm is actively spraying my butthole at this very second |
| 3562 |
Omega037 |
<timotab> |
you should have used lube |
| 3561 |
res0 |
<Omega037> |
i feel like a fat man stuck in a slightly fatter man's body |
| 3560 |
res0 |
<xxxt> |
pb_ft, to be fair, its hard to tell if the person is jaundice when theyre already yellow. |
| 3559 |
bbbeluga |
<kerouac> |
but now you got me thinking about sausage |
| 3558 |
bbbeluga |
<kerouac> |
i just cleaned that rack until it was spotless |
| 3557 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
girls want to feel sexy. if you want to get them to hire you, promise them sex |
| 3556 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
"leather cheerio" :( |
| 3555 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
I just had the most amazing sex ever ( |
| 3554 |
spif |
<frisv> |
people are too grab happy in here |
| 3553 |
spif |
<scittles> |
well i was going to help you out and grab you and quit but not anymore |
| 3552 |
spif |
<Evin> |
it's like reverse rape. |
| 3551 |
redfenix |
<scittles> |
| (" á")| (M%M) |
| 3550 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
all I see in that photo is evin's crotch |
| 3549 |
redfenix |
<scittles> |
conservative manic pixie dream girl nudist???? |
| 3548 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
click my cock |
| 3547 |
xxxt |
<Omega037> |
crepes |
| 3546 |
Omega037 |
<res0> |
I think I might've just called you a black slut |
| 3545 |
k27463 |
<willisnutz43> |
you know what? if i ever met you in real life Omega037, i would probably just deliver a fucking haymaker in your fucking face just because you're such an asshole |
| 3544 |
Omega037 |
<kerouac> |
yeah, misspwn fuck both |
| 3543 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
I NEED A CROTCH BEAR |
| 3542 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
i'm super bitter about it |
| 3541 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
rikki is so smart |
| 3540 |
k27463 |
<rikkitikki> |
just put nutmeg on your dick |
| 3539 |
redfenix |
<spif> |
. |
| 3538 |
spif |
<frisv> |
sorry i couldn't prounounce condom correctly with a condom in my mouth |
| 3537 |
k27463 |
<dolemite7> |
HEY, THIS ISN'T #BUZZFEED STLOUIS |
| 3536 |
spif |
<scittles> |
omm nom nom com dom |
| 3535 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
who sucks dick with a comdom on |
| 3534 |
res0 |
<scittles> |
the best thing about making it ourselves is we can make it ANY SIZE WE WANT |
| 3533 |
nerddtvg |
<res0> |
bbbeluga does indeed have a great set of quotes |
| 3532 |
k27463 |
<Evin> |
TIL rikkitikki is a former drug runner |
| 3531 |
DeliriumTremens |
<k27463> |
for some reason young girls liked riding it |
| 3530 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
am I in a threesome technically |
| 3529 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Sometimes I wish I could reply to an email with a foot that jumps out of the monitor and kicks the recipient in the dick |
| 3528 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
pegged you for younger |
| 3527 |
rikkitikki |
<Hatsrodamus> |
you all are a bunch of weirdos |
| 3526 |
bbbeluga |
<xxxt> |
because im Hatstrodamus |
| 3525 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
Some people like it so big that they can't fit their hand around it |
| 3524 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
ugh i spilled all this oil all over myself |
| 3523 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
jeez rdm, you wiped your butt with that guys lips |
| 3522 |
Nerfdude |
<bbbeluga> |
chicken titties actually |
| 3521 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
ý<D\= HARDER BETTER FASTER WONGER ý<D\= |
| 3520 |
nerd|work |
<GreetingsADM> |
his daughter was destined to twerk |
| 3519 |
spif |
<kitkatkaytee> |
I was covered in vomit. :( |
| 3518 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
You can do anything through the hole in the sheet. |
| 3517 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
awww i used to have that same coffee table |
| 3516 |
res0 |
<misspwn_> |
WHITE POWER |
| 3515 |
Notbrad |
<kerouac> |
place i go to sells "fresh poultry live killed" panties |
| 3514 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
i was just going to park on the street, walk to res0's driveway, and do some spin moves |
| 3513 |
spif |
<scittles> |
his wand was engorged and throbbing |
| 3512 |
spif |
<frisv> |
all we ever did at lemmons was touch each others butts |
| 3511 |
k27463 |
<rikkitikki> |
res0 I write erotic friend fiction about it |
| 3510 |
k27463 |
<Evin> |
I'm very talented at jamming things into my mouth until everyone is uncomfortable. |
| 3509 |
scittles |
<Evin> |
If I can fit two elk balls into my mouth, imagine how many marshmallows I could fit. |
| 3508 |
rikkitikki |
<res0> |
rikkitikki "so glad those black people are dead!" |
| 3507 |
scittles |
<frisv> |
I hate things that other people do that don't affect me in the slightest |
| 3506 |
dolemite7 |
<res0> |
that'd be deliriumtremendous of him |
| 3505 |
spif |
<HoneyBadja> |
you know, you google "cane with jewel" in it and butt plugs come up |
| 3504 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
hey, but I can't eat myself ( |
| 3503 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens_> |
i will crap down the neck of my desktop when i get home |
| 3502 |
k27463 |
<HoneyBadja> |
fart |
| 3501 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I have been pooping the same turd nonstop for over a decade. |
| 3500 |
DeliriumTremens |
<scittles> |
misspwn why are your bowels so loose |
| 3499 |
frisv |
<GreetingsADM> |
Hand Up, don't Choo |
| 3498 |
spif |
<frisv> |
now that I did all this internet searching for cubs lingerie, other websites think I want to buy more |
| 3497 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
but i brought home more yogurt! |
| 3496 |
Nyghtshade |
<funkyb> |
OH FUCK |
| 3495 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
because misspwn all about that them wipes bout them wipes no hemmorohids |
| 3494 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
that stream is freakin sweet dolemite7 |
| 3493 |
DeliriumTremens |
<GreetingsADM> |
It was a bit slippery |
| 3492 |
spif |
<Evin> |
wait, jews aren't wizards? |
| 3491 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
Forgive us for assuming this is the jew who cried wolf |
| 3490 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
i wanted so bad to be a fly girl when i was a kiddo |
| 3489 |
rikkitikki |
<xxxt> |
i hate food actually it all tastes like shit |
| 3488 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
bring your own child porn? |
| 3487 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
we wont stop until we quote scittles saying cock penetration 10 times |
| 3486 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
cock penetration |
| 3485 |
spif |
<res0> |
I'm gonna piss on you. |
| 3484 |
nerd|work |
<spotmonk> |
I wanna fuck that guy right in the pussy |
| 3483 |
res0 |
<frisv> |
stop dressing like that and i wont have to rape you so much |
| 3482 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i wish i was made out of egg foo young so i could eat myself |
| 3481 |
spif |
<scittles> |
hes going to be like "uh..." and i'll know exactly where he's going w/ it |
| 3480 |
spif |
<scittles> |
cock penetration? |
| 3479 |
spif |
<frisv> |
I usually get free balls because mine go down the shaft so quickly |
| 3478 |
frisv |
<DeliriumTremens> |
She spreads her legs and it's like a Pterodactyl taking flight. |
| 3477 |
spif |
<SmegmaTaxi> |
im bleeding over here i cant get it out |
| 3476 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
damnit now I have to poop right before my meeting |
| 3475 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn> |
i've already pooped so much today i can't handle any more spicy poops |
| 3474 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
so hard |
| 3473 |
bbbeluga |
<dolemite7> |
i just had a cinnamon sticky bun that cracked open like a pair of tearaway pants |
| 3472 |
res0 |
<dolemite7> |
how you'll put someone's genitals in your mouth but you won't eat the brown parts of the banana |
| 3471 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
I might let some of you molest me, but probably not timotab. |
| 3470 |
timotab |
<Evin> |
welp, now I've been thoroughly molested. |
| 3469 |
timotab |
<Evin> |
LEARN HOW TO SUCK MY DICK |
| 3468 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
I have a question regarding smegma |
| 3467 |
rikkitikki |
<bbbeluga> |
a girl had sparkly fancy stuff on the butt pockets of her jeans and she caught me looking at it and called me a lesbian really loudly and stormed off. |
| 3466 |
dummey |
<StosselJohn> |
"I want to deglove your hand and use it as my personal sex totem" |
| 3465 |
bofh|work |
<misspwn_> |
i'll feed u my meat |
| 3464 |
funkyb |
<misspwn_> |
yeh i like your deck |
| 3463 |
Nerfdude |
<anotherbofh> |
You don't wink that butthole until you're ready to use it |
| 3462 |
k27463 |
<Primesauce> |
This is basically me masturbating in a public forum. Baby. |
| 3461 |
k27463 |
<tadni> |
I ain't gonna argue with a mofo that didn't even fucking ever take and/or pass a stats class. |
| 3460 |
k27463 |
<misspwn_> |
i cannot computer |
| 3459 |
k27463 |
<Omega037> |
there you go |
| 3458 |
Omega037 |
<spotmonk> |
wait til you see my dick! |
| 3457 |
introspectr5 |
<bbbeluga_> |
MOTHERFUCKER I SHOULDNT KNOW THIS MUCH SHIT ABOUT A DICKHOLE |
| 3456 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga_> |
so? my job doesnt include wood working but I can build you a table that you could fuck a fat lady on. my job doesnt include cooking but I can make a hell of a meal. |
| 3455 |
spif |
<k27463> |
can a whale even be a slut |
| 3454 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
when they're held for the pleasure they're the balls that I like best |
| 3453 |
dolemite7 |
<Chank> |
i think you're supposed to pee on it |
| 3452 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work> |
DeliriumTremens: A hula girl figurine with a grass skirt, and realistic labia |
| 3451 |
spif |
<res0> |
tampons are remote mind control devices |
| 3450 |
spif |
<frisv> |
you can almost spell "no pants" by rearranging tampons |
| 3449 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Much like the Wild Tampon Wildebeest that roams the inner vaginal plains, the puppet too has strings, though used for a very different purpose. |
| 3448 |
GreetingsADM |
<frisv> |
everyone's moving to fenton. it's the alton of st louis |
| 3447 |
frisv |
<scittles> |
i want a really big one |
| 3446 |
spif |
<frisv> |
I need it to shoot my sisters |
| 3445 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
most anime characters would be fine in the boob department |
| 3444 |
bbbeluga |
<dolemitex> |
it's like a tickle gun |
| 3443 |
nerd|work |
<Notbrad> |
im never the gay :( |
| 3442 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
mmmm mug of roasted butthole |
| 3441 |
Notbrad |
<bbbeluga> |
im overflowing with integers |
| 3440 |
tadni |
<Omega037> |
delete that, its stupid |
| 3439 |
tadni |
<Omega037> |
tadni... |
| 3438 |
Omega037 |
<tadni> |
yizarg: I'll let you butter my fly. |
| 3437 |
nerddtvg |
<misspwn_> |
dem thong swiffers |
| 3436 |
nerddtvg |
<GreetingsADM> |
oh shit, asian attorney is taking on a retired musician and a social media manager |
| 3435 |
nerddtvg |
<GreetingsADM> |
oh good, it comes in a thong |
| 3434 |
secretninjaket |
<frisv> |
i would definitely allow people to shoot that into my mouth |
| 3433 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
would that be blowjob business instead of murder |
| 3432 |
funkyb |
<secretninjaket> |
https://i.imgur.com/0BfeIOj.jpg |
| 3431 |
rikkitikki |
<Nerfdude> |
i like gutter porn |
| 3430 |
rikkitikki |
<GreetingsADM> |
"Who cares" is the troll mating call |
| 3429 |
bbbeluga |
<Nerfdude> |
i can't just double down on wieners and not feel something |
| 3428 |
nerfdude |
<bbbeluga> |
He'll show up in 5 years with that photo and do an ama |
| 3427 |
Evin |
<Nerfdude> |
i want to stick my tongue in one of these holes really, really bad |
| 3426 |
DeliriumTremens |
<alsoNerfdude> |
where's this load going trainman |
| 3425 |
tadni_ |
<rikkitikki> |
ohgod |
| 3424 |
rikkitikki |
<k27463> |
traaaaaaaaaains |
| 3423 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn> |
eh could have told her to swallow liek a champ |
| 3422 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
but she measured the swelling and it was 14cmx10cm |
| 3421 |
k27463 |
<Evin> |
wait, jews can beat women? |
| 3420 |
DeliriumTremens |
<honeybadja> |
not there, i choke on small objects ;D |
| 3419 |
res0 |
<||cw> |
if you don't need a shower after, you're doing it wrong |
| 3418 |
k27463 |
<spotmonk> |
rikkitikki's birth control option is to threaten statutory rape |
| 3417 |
k27463 |
<rikkitikki> |
WHY WON'T YOU JUST LOVE MEEEEE |
| 3416 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
she's like the female version of "jizz in my pants" |
| 3415 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
rikki and snail trails go hand in hand |
| 3414 |
k27463 |
<rikkitikki> |
WELCOME TO #REDDIT STLOUIS |
| 3413 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
I BETTER GET ON IT |
| 3412 |
k27463 |
<scittles> |
isn't everything better w/ a sex partner |
| 3411 |
res0 |
<rikki|phoney> |
Robot human love is forbidden DLbot |
| 3410 |
rikki|phoney |
<frisv> |
i now need to go to a state line so that my dick can be spanning two states |
| 3409 |
rikki|phoney |
<res0> |
rikki is rikki surprise surprise |
| 3408 |
spif |
<frisv> |
yep.. i'm gonna get DP'ed in about an hour |
| 3407 |
Omega037 |
<axe9|work> |
I donno, I feel like Saint Louis is missing a giant phallus to go with our gaping vagina |
| 3406 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
and by pile of shit i mean 'i dont know how to use this' |
| 3405 |
k27463 |
<zeryl> |
I don't have a clue, I don't check out my mom's rack |
| 3404 |
res0 |
<frisv> |
if i keep my gatling gun of semen flowing? |
| 3403 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
flappy beaver paddle tits |
| 3402 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
eh I ate half of these nasty jizz carrots thats good enough |
| 3401 |
rikki|phoney |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Barreling on stage, a stream of hot brown chicory leaking out of his pant leg |
| 3400 |
rikki|phoney |
<DeliriumTremens> |
'Welcome to Windows Shart, a new innovation in front end skidmark technology!" |
| 3399 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I don't shit in your coffee cup and tell you it's coffee, so don't do the same to me. |
| 3398 |
misspwn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Nestle your phone betwixt your ass cheeks and set that mother to Haiti in vibration settings. You'll wake up, get a prostate exam, and not wake the baby all in one go. |
| 3397 |
res0 |
<k27463> |
it's so hard |
| 3396 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
AND OF COURSE dont google image search japanese vacuum sealed bag |
| 3395 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The garlic sauce in this Simply Asia dish is black and tarry, like a dying alcoholic barfed on my noodles. |
| 3394 |
monkerpaws |
<res0> |
[09 48 00] < bah> What's the latest feature to be added to DLbot? misspwn. |
| 3393 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
but she was totally eating brown cat nuggets |
| 3392 |
k27463 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i have no eggs |
| 3391 |
DeliriumTremens |
<GreetingsADM> |
They always put the pressure on the middle, not on the place below the button |
| 3390 |
res0 |
<secretninjaket> |
monkers: go do something anatomically unlikely to yourself |
| 3389 |
res0 |
<GreetingsADM> |
As usual, just move your fingers around until you hear the right sounds |
| 3388 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
I dont even know where to put my fingers |
| 3387 |
spif |
<frisv> |
wow theres a big different between a girl in missionary and a girl in a missionary |
| 3386 |
res0 |
<frisv> |
everybody is a poop machine |
| 3385 |
dolemite7 |
<scittles> |
it got all over my pants |
| 3384 |
nerd|sheep |
<zeryl> |
Was gonna give you my meat, but nevermind now. |
| 3383 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
if my dick stayed the same size all day i'd call the doctor |
| 3382 |
Evin |
<misspwn> |
such a long hump |
| 3381 |
k27463 |
<misspwn> |
Evin, i only need .25 inches anyway |
| 3380 |
spif |
<Evin> |
Just because I like virgins and blood doesn't mean I like virgin bloody marys. |
| 3379 |
funkyb |
<frisv> |
i hope I die in alton |
| 3378 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Alton, IL: St. Louis 2.0 |
| 3377 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Haunted by the ghosts of clunkers and dunkers |
| 3376 |
res0 |
<misspwn> |
i got a surprise in my butthole for you |
| 3375 |
Omega037 |
<frisv> |
if i ever lost my testicles i'd replace them with old mouse balls |
| 3374 |
misspwn_ |
<DeliriumTremens> |
fuck that my chode is enormous |
| 3373 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn_> |
xxxt: if you open and relax your throat you can eat more than anyone |
| 3372 |
bofh|work |
<res0> |
what can brown do for your bullet wounds? |
| 3371 |
monkers |
<misspwn_> |
it doesn't effect me so i don't care |
| 3370 |
rikkitikki |
<zeryl> |
IT LIKED ME AND THE PETTING! |
| 3369 |
dolemite7 |
<rikkitikki> |
YOU'RE GONNA MISS ME BY MY WALK YOU'RE GONNA MISS ME BY MY TACO |
| 3368 |
nerddtvg |
<willisnutz43> |
misspwn_ and i had a good talk last night, and she convinced me to stop trolling the channel |
| 3367 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
i guess if it was long enough you could do some bondage stuff with your own hair |
| 3366 |
funkyb |
<Omega037> |
i had to spend like 5 minutes getting cat hair and stickies out of his penis and balls |
| 3365 |
misspwn_ |
<res0> |
I'm a prostitute |
| 3364 |
res0 |
<DLbot> |
misspwn is an unfortunate dischargewagon. |
| 3363 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Do japanese women really have those high pitched voices or is that something they do for TV? |
| 3362 |
timotab |
<kerouac> |
i think i'm responsible for a hindu schism |
| 3361 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
also, i'd just pull out my dick |
| 3360 |
k27463 |
<misspwn> |
i've actually gotten better about entering prematurely |
| 3359 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
all rikki thinks about is what's in her box |
| 3358 |
Evin |
<misspwn> |
rikkitikki, i'll get it on my butt |
| 3357 |
rikkitikki |
<scittles> |
ugh i've been grabbed too many times today |
| 3356 |
rikkitikki |
<scittles> |
and i want it in my face all the time |
| 3355 |
nerd|work |
<Evin> |
Maybe some day I'll power wash my colon and see what stumbles out. |
| 3354 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
and yeah I poop like every 2 3 days, too |
| 3353 |
k27463 |
<frisv> |
say poop, get grabbed |
| 3352 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
jeez this is the great poop grab of sept 18th |
| 3351 |
k27463 |
<res0> |
rikki's a poop grabber |
| 3350 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
grabbin poop, smokin spiders |
| 3349 |
Evin |
<frisv> |
don't grab my poop! gross! |
| 3348 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
I have to poop so bad |
| 3347 |
nerd|work |
<tadni> |
scittles: I am a molester. There's a code in place. |
| 3346 |
spif |
<frisv> |
most sex stuff gets grabbed |
| 3345 |
spif |
<scittles> |
people only grab me when i say pee stuff or sex stuff |
| 3344 |
Nerfdude |
<res0> |
masturbation is always pretty calming |
| 3343 |
Nerfdude |
<res0> |
breast pockets for keeping breasts |
| 3342 |
Nerfdude |
<funkyb> |
i dunno, i'd wager on average guilty feet have more rhythm than innocent feet do. just a guess. |
| 3341 |
spif |
<GreetingsADm> |
Chief Titty Officer |
| 3340 |
spif |
<res0> |
rikki's got a pork butt |
| 3339 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
I'm comfortable in my manhood with or without testicles |
| 3338 |
rikkitikki |
<kerouac> |
i turn myself down for sex most nights |
| 3337 |
dolemite7 |
<GreetingsADM> |
Pickle juice is in the fridge |
| 3336 |
Evin |
<bbbeluga> |
sometimes i can handle more |
| 3335 |
funkyb |
<Nerfdude> |
i saw a thing about how when whales bang they like, have a third dude show up to hold them together |
| 3334 |
Omega037 |
<xxxt> |
what is up with these women with tattoos around their anus |
| 3333 |
timotab |
<Omega037> |
i just poop in the river now |
| 3332 |
nerddtvg |
<dolemite7> |
jack my dick with rented hands |
| 3331 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
HORSE COCK |
| 3330 |
timotab |
<Nyghtshade> |
Like seriously. He had a massive cock. |
| 3329 |
Omega037 |
<introspectr17> |
degenerative disease is all well and fine, but do they smell like rikki|phoney? |
| 3328 |
res0 |
<secretninjaket> |
ugh... my fart wafted from under the covers. gross |
| 3327 |
res0 |
<k27463> |
i never knew there were so many women with arms bigger than my thighs |
| 3326 |
dolemite7 |
<Merlin00> |
that is 100% unrelated to two unrelated gay guys fucking in a tent in my yard |
| 3325 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
me chinese me play joke, me go pee pee in your coke Omega037 |
| 3324 |
spif |
<Notbrad> |
yeah im actually just gonna kill everyone in the field |
| 3323 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
amg i'm a girl |
| 3322 |
funkyb |
<Nerfdude> |
war never changes |
| 3321 |
Chank |
<misspwn> |
gota pick up paycheck from strip club |
| 3320 |
spif |
<scittles> |
time to stab some kid's ears |
| 3319 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Is your mom a trucker? |
| 3318 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
if everyone had falcons we could pit them against each other and almost have real pokemon battles |
| 3317 |
Omega037 |
<willisnutz43> |
it's like trying to have sex with a ghost |
| 3316 |
res0 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I don't want a pharmaceutical boner. I want a boner made from love. |
| 3315 |
misspwn |
<dolemite7> |
don't sploosh |
| 3314 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
they they dont call me wet leg jason for nothing |
| 3313 |
zeryl |
<res0> |
rikkitikki's smokin' hot body pillow |
| 3312 |
funkyb |
<tadni_> |
LET ME, FUCK YOU. |
| 3311 |
Omega037 |
<spotmonk> |
I'd let them all run a train on my ass |
| 3310 |
rikki|phoney |
<Evin> |
I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FLOG OFF |
| 3309 |
res0 |
<misspwn> |
RIKKI STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF THIS IS GOD SPEAKING |
| 3308 |
Evin |
<DeliriumTremens> |
the kids can watch a pixar movie while the parents cram eachothers turdcutters |
| 3307 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
i like money, specifically paper money that comes from a strippers ass |
| 3306 |
bbbeluga |
<GreetingsLappy> |
You don't have to do anything, you just have to lay there and take it |
| 3305 |
DeliriumTremens |
<tadni_> |
nerf|zzzz: I can only cram for two hours and then I need to take the test right after. |
| 3304 |
nerf|gone |
<misspwn> |
tell them to stop having anal, problem solved |
| 3303 |
nerf|gone |
<misspwn> |
it's one thing if he goes to a strip club and washes off the glitter. putting his dick on a dirty window is asking for a bad time |
| 3302 |
rikkitikki |
<nerfdude> |
drawn girls > * |
| 3301 |
rikkitikki |
<memmek2k> |
nothin' wrong with a little butthole cleaning |
| 3300 |
rikkitikki |
<Omega037> |
yeah, my wives vagina is gonna have an echo by the time we are done |
| 3299 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn> |
penis ring |
| 3298 |
nerddtvg |
<introspectr3> |
so many pretty ladies frolicking about the park today |
| 3297 |
Omega037 |
<tadni_> |
Omega037: I ONLY POKE MEN. |
| 3296 |
scittles |
<GreetingsADM> |
A neckbeard goes deeper than the neck |
| 3295 |
res0 |
<misspwn> |
WHY U NO SEND ME N00DZ |
| 3294 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
i don't even know what is real |
| 3293 |
funkyb |
<Nerfdude> |
best i can tell it's a bunch of snake oil that joe rogan jacks off to, some of it seems interesting |
| 3292 |
Nerfdude |
<bbbeldrunka> |
be prepared for some awkward boners |
| 3291 |
funkyb |
<DLbot> |
I'm a white trash psychoclown. (o5p,) |
| 3290 |
nerd|gone |
<res0> |
spif collects people in his freezer |
| 3289 |
nerddtvg |
<frisv> |
if I put a bowtie on my noodle i'd call it bill nye |
| 3288 |
funkyb |
<bbbeluga> |
its okay sluttface, we still like you |
| 3287 |
spif |
<k27463> |
because theres very little belugas and a lot of porn |
| 3286 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
if I sat there laughing and scratching myself people would just presume I was a dev. |
| 3285 |
res0 |
<rikki|worky> |
ANAL HIPSTER |
| 3284 |
funkyb |
<Lapper> |
Mostly blowing dudes. |
| 3283 |
dolemite7 |
<funkyb> |
just let meat soak in warm butter while working. |
| 3282 |
Nerfdude |
<harrisonn> |
the only reason skype exists is for simulated intercourse |
| 3281 |
Nerfdude |
<harrisonn> |
it's like looking through a one way mirror with your hand wrapped around your dong, slouched in your chair |
| 3280 |
nerddtvg |
<Nerfdude> |
blonde pubes when he's threatened |
| 3279 |
nerd|gone |
<Evin> |
your taint is only 2.5mm? you poor man. |
| 3278 |
nerd|gone |
<DeliriumTremens> |
every inch of me is perfect from my grundle to my butt |
| 3277 |
nerddtvg |
<Omega037> |
it gets enlarged if you are sick |
| 3276 |
nerd|gone |
<k27463> |
hmmmm i thought i had to go to a gay bar to find this amount of dick |
| 3275 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn_> |
you can pee in my butt later then |
| 3274 |
res0 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
YOU JUST MOWED MY SOUL AND SHOT A ROCK INTO THE FRENCH DOORS OF MY HEART |
| 3273 |
GreetingsADM |
<scittles> |
you bunch seem like a bunch of trolls who come here to get a rise out of people |
| 3272 |
Omega037 |
<secretninjaket> |
except for the one where he got addicted to fart gambling that one was too weird to be scary |
| 3271 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bbbeluga> |
tight trench |
| 3270 |
Omega037 |
<grobend> |
I came for the titties |
| 3269 |
bbbeluga |
<GreetingsADM> |
Got my mind on my penis and my penis on my mind |
| 3268 |
Omega037 |
<k27463> |
Omega037 I also like Nickelback |
| 3267 |
Omega037 |
<tadni> |
grobend: Don't trust the Jew menace. It's a scheme. |
| 3266 |
bbbeluga |
<Nyghtshade> |
Yea, but I'm the sappy type that actually enjoys doing the cuddle after sex crap. |
| 3265 |
Nerfdude |
<misspwn> |
he'd be the most sensitive kid on the block |
| 3264 |
doctorsound |
<rikkitikki> |
I can't stand all that grease drippin on my fingers D: |
| 3263 |
rikkitikki |
<Primesauce> |
1/1 Primesauces don't give any fucks, yo. |
| 3262 |
timotab |
<tadni> |
Woah, so sore waking up. |
| 3261 |
timotab |
<Greetings|Work> |
It's so happy to be out of your rectum |
| 3260 |
timotab |
<scittles> |
that poop pillow is adorbs |
| 3259 |
rikki|worky |
<doctorsound> |
Chank: Nah, I only do cocaine off of hooker's asses, like a real man. |
| 3258 |
||cw |
<Greetings|Work> |
not birthing a child big, but big |
| 3257 |
Chank |
<misspwn> |
nothing is breaking for me yet except my vagina |
| 3256 |
frisv |
<bbbeluga> |
i basically had a sloppy d with out the bun last night for dinner |
| 3255 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
louder than your mom on a tuesday in december |
| 3254 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
#NotAllNipples |
| 3253 |
frisv |
<res0> |
your mom is a boning machine |
| 3252 |
Pb_ft |
<Evin> |
frisv: I like my women how I like my servers; stored off site in cool, dark rooms. |
| 3251 |
spif |
<scittles> |
the queefing trash can |
| 3250 |
Pb_ft |
<bofh|work> |
Greetings|Work, have you tried unexpectedly toggling the power mode to operational revision standby? |
| 3249 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
i'm so used to being a strong black independent woman |
| 3248 |
Nerfdude |
<misspwn> |
every one knows eating steak on a date means you're gona get to pee in a girls butt |
| 3247 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Omega037> |
ill show you a picture of me bald in private |
| 3246 |
nerd|work |
<Omega037> |
btw, i basically look like uncle fester bald |
| 3245 |
DeliriumTremens |
<funkyb> |
oh it's not hard |
| 3244 |
funkyb |
<Nerfdude> |
And perioded all over our good time |
| 3243 |
Greetings|Work |
<frisv> |
i found out the hard way that you do not sleep in c strings |
| 3242 |
nerd|work |
<misspwn> |
so much poop |
| 3241 |
dolemite7 |
<Greetings|Work> |
No horse picture is complete without horse cock |
| 3240 |
||cw |
<Omega037> |
i think my grandma gave it to my dad, who gave it to my wife, who gave it to me |
| 3239 |
nerddtvg |
<willisnutz43> |
mighty rapists in a contest to rape as many women as possible |
| 3238 |
nerddtvg |
<HoneyBadja> |
gotta lock that out, squeeze the bootay |
| 3237 |
GreetingsADM |
<bbbeluga> |
i only fuck boys with good communication skills |
| 3236 |
nerd|work |
<misspwn> |
because all i have to do is flash my boobs |
| 3235 |
nerddtvg |
<misspwn> |
well then we willplay it by ear to around that time i spose, i gotta get back to my group orgy |
| 3234 |
nerddtvg |
<rikki|phoney> |
the joy I'd get from that is knowing I helped a lonely nerd, nerddtvg |
| 3233 |
nerddtvg |
<rikki|phoney> |
sometimes I imagine being a hooker for lonely nerds |
| 3232 |
Pb_ft |
<harrisonn> |
nikki minaj's butt is gross |
| 3231 |
nerd|work |
<grobend> |
I feel a dick pic night tonight |
| 3230 |
nerd|work |
<||cw> |
does feeling a picture of a dick give the same feeling as a real one? I woulnd't know |
| 3229 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
ever seen someone shoot AA batteries out of their peehole |
| 3228 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
i should just open with " i suck a lot of dick" |
| 3227 |
nerd|work |
<axe9|work> |
so I think when girls realized they were staring down the barrel of 2.5 kids with someone that works in the service industry, the nerdy computer guy started looking appealing |
| 3226 |
misspwn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
and heres misspwn drinking MD 20/20 from a french press, eating chips out of the trash |
| 3225 |
bbbeluga |
<doctorsound> |
Just tie it off with your dick, duh! |
| 3224 |
timotab |
<Greetings|Work> |
doctorsound: but it keeps falling out |
| 3223 |
res0 |
<frisv> |
if I donated a testicle to a dog, could that dog impregnate a human? |
| 3222 |
TenthTARDIS |
<Nyghtshade> |
Libido is reaally taking precedence right now. |
| 3221 |
funkyb |
<zeryl> |
fuck alex jones |
| 3220 |
funkyb |
<spif> |
I like a woman who knows how to work a tool |
| 3219 |
funbeluga |
<Nyghtshade> |
If I look at your meat one more time... |
| 3218 |
DeliriumTremens |
<funbeluga> |
im lickin the icing out of my last one |
| 3217 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
girls have two sides to cuddle |
| 3216 |
DeliriumTremens |
<GreetingsADM> |
Cuddle Party 2 Electric Snuggaloo |
| 3215 |
Merlin00 |
<spif> |
14:24 < Merlin00> grobend: don't worry the bus doesn't run to crestwood |
| 3214 |
bbbeluga |
<Evin> |
Sometimes I ejaculate prematurely, and I refer to rule #4. |
| 3213 |
Omega037 |
<willisnutz43> |
yes i have loads of crack |
| 3212 |
funkyb |
<res0> |
grobend is like Nyghtshade and monkers had a baby |
| 3211 |
introspectr5 |
<bbbeluga> |
all the right junk in all the right places |
| 3210 |
doctorsound |
<dolemite7> |
you're whiter than 12 pairs of sperrys |
| 3209 |
misspwn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The rioters are angry at the cops because the cops are wearing riot gear because of the rioters who are angry because the cops are wearing riot gear because of the rioters who are angry at the cops for wearing riot gear |
| 3208 |
axe9|work |
<rikki|worky> |
and eat his heart to gain his power of attraction |
| 3207 |
spif |
<frisv> |
I got free gelato the other day because their credit card system was down. I tell everyone I looted them |
| 3206 |
zeryl |
<res0> |
man crush monday |
| 3205 |
zeryl |
<res0> |
widebore is the only way funkyb can be satisfied |
| 3204 |
nerd|gone |
<funkyb> |
I'm having fun with my new toys |
| 3203 |
nerddtvg |
<zeryl> |
or even big bang beluga |
| 3202 |
nerd|gone |
<bbbeluga> |
hello bbbeluga |
| 3201 |
spif |
<jess_92> |
i looted the whole mall |
| 3200 |
funkyb |
<soupmeister> |
I'll fuck you until you're pregnant too. |
| 3199 |
Omega037 |
<Nyghtshade> |
bbbeluga did you show any your bbblowhole? |
| 3198 |
doctorsound |
<WorkingCRC> |
I found used panties for $15 earlier. |
| 3197 |
dolemite7 |
<grobend> |
"LETS KILL WHITE PEOPLE" |
| 3196 |
memmek2k |
<axe9|work> |
look at my weird ramen.... |
| 3195 |
memmek2k |
<rikki|worky> |
stop that |
| 3194 |
HoneyBadja |
<misspwn> |
that place just didn't sit with my butthole |
| 3193 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
It takes men a long time to figure out that they need to finger the tick |
| 3192 |
doctorsound |
<misspwn> |
and i'm not too good for canned cheez wiz |
| 3191 |
res0 |
<Omega037> |
i need a big john, maybe with some tech |
| 3190 |
Omega037 |
<grobend> |
My balls smell so bad right now |
| 3189 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
because I didn't put out in a timely fashion |
| 3188 |
nerddtvg |
<Nyghtshade> |
I prefer ISIS |
| 3187 |
res0 |
<secretninjaket> |
I know how to handle my own goddamn tits omega! |
| 3186 |
doctorsound |
<Primesauce> |
If you aren't wearing a bowtie and a labcoat, you're not a scientist. |
| 3185 |
doctorsound |
<Omega037> |
isnt Lyft that service that matches rapists with victims? |
| 3184 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
i tend to just interject things about boobs, i know i could do better. |
| 3183 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
everyone loves the D |
| 3182 |
doctorsound |
<ThatDeadDude> |
diddily doodily those vaginas |
| 3181 |
spif |
<frisv> |
don't ignore nutache |
| 3180 |
nerd|work |
<Greetings|Work> |
It's weird, someone must have kicked me in the nuts last night when I wasn't paying attention ( frisv ) |
| 3179 |
spif |
<Greetings|Work> |
Is it possible for a hangover headache to move to your testicles? |
| 3178 |
dolemite7 |
<frisv> |
i assume all 3d printers print guns and dildos |
| 3177 |
dolemite7 |
<Greetings|Work> |
"You may also like "Doc Johnsons Vac U Lock Knuckle Up" |
| 3176 |
bbbeluga |
<dolemite7> |
although, i thought up "Texas Chodehouse" yesterday |
| 3175 |
Greetings|Work |
<bbbeluga> |
how did no one grab clam choder? |
| 3174 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
My finger got excited there |
| 3173 |
Chank |
<bbbeluga> |
nah, im a minute lady |
| 3172 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Bring me your butthurt, your crybags, your wimps. |
| 3171 |
doctorsound |
<spotmonk> |
IF YOU LIKE NIGGAS AND KNEECAPPIN |
| 3170 |
timotab |
<scittles> |
pee on it |
| 3169 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
i am an eyebrow nazi |
| 3168 |
bbbeluga |
<El Dubb> |
I remember those little jugs. Not fond memories |
| 3167 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
go meat! |
| 3166 |
spif |
<Evin> |
LIKE SEX WITH TREES |
| 3165 |
nerd|skewl |
<bbbeluga> |
oh! can you and evin ride the bull at the same time? |
| 3164 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
You gonna show me your thrust angle? |
| 3163 |
spif |
<scittles> |
i sometimes forget that humans are born with the inability to poop in a potty. |
| 3162 |
funkyb |
<HoneyBadja> |
I'm pay by the piddle |
| 3161 |
timotab |
<res0> |
really only saw one boob in the wild though |
| 3160 |
timotab |
<jess_92> |
my ability is to slip in and out unnoticed |
| 3159 |
spif |
<Greetings|Work> |
It made me realize how much our riverfront is like a vulva |
| 3158 |
Greetings|Work |
<Killsudo> |
fuck jesus, he does not deliver new content |
| 3157 |
spif |
<Greetings|Work> |
Praise Jesus, there's going to be an Entourage movie |
| 3156 |
doctorsound |
<Nyghtshade> |
I don't like tasting poverty while I eat it.... |
| 3155 |
spif |
<Evin> |
so it explodes white goop in my mouth when I bite into it. |
| 3154 |
doctorsound |
<scittles> |
it was super traumatizing because i puked in my sleep so I woke up in a bed of vomit |
| 3153 |
Nyghtshade |
<misspwn> |
we will 69 forever apparently |
| 3152 |
BadCRC |
<bbbeluga> |
I've never knitted a muffler |
| 3151 |
rikkitikki |
<harrisonn> |
fapping is good for the soul |
| 3150 |
spif |
<Omega037> |
trust me, i never think |
| 3149 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Mr. Puzzles Neverending Rape Wagon |
| 3148 |
Omega037 |
<doctorsound> |
bbbeluga: We totally should get a shit for entangled|home |
| 3147 |
bbbeluga |
<GreetingsADM> |
It's a good thing all my stuff is stored in the butt |
| 3146 |
doctorsound |
<GreetingsADM> |
shitting bricked phones |
| 3145 |
timotab |
<GreetingsADM> |
still the thought of a giant penis hanging over a king |
| 3144 |
spif |
<res0> |
my brain is broken |
| 3143 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
to be fair, we were living in florida and the bushes run rampant in those parts |
| 3142 |
rikkitikki |
<GreetingsADM> |
I do miss having a physical button though |
| 3141 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I WAS NOT EATING ICE CREAM ON THE SHITTER |
| 3140 |
nerddtvg |
<Omega037> |
res0 just fertilized nerd with his seed |
| 3139 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
they came! geeez |
| 3138 |
nerd|meeting |
<bbbeluga> |
CIDR, i know how to motorboat ;) |
| 3137 |
spif |
<Evin> |
No, you can't make eye contact during butt sex. |
| 3136 |
GreetingsADM |
<Notbrad> |
i dunno man you cant compete with anecdotal evidence |
| 3135 |
misspwn |
<res0> |
we'll bang, ok |
| 3134 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
am i going to be passed around? I'm not sure I'm okay with that |
| 3133 |
Omega037 |
<res0> |
bbbeluga's all about the breasts |
| 3132 |
tadni |
<bbbeluga> |
lol its always boring until you find poop |
| 3131 |
spif |
<rikki|sewwhat> |
Magic powers? Better hide! Lesbian incest? No problemo |
| 3130 |
spif |
<rikki|sewwhat> |
(shhh guys, maybe she'll drink so much she won't notice my molestations) |
| 3129 |
TenthTARDIS |
<lacrimosus_> |
"will god make my dad buy me 200$ worth of d&d stuff? I'm taking up witchcraft!" |
| 3128 |
spif |
<lacrimosus_> |
I see how it is. you do butt stuff for him |
| 3127 |
spif |
<frisv> |
i want my lunch to last forever. regurgitation is crossing my mind |
| 3126 |
doctorsound |
<introspectr5> |
i installed a script for irssi called UPDIKE that responds to /ctcp UPDIKE with an ASCII penis whose size is determined by system uptime on your mom |
| 3125 |
TenthTARDIS |
<Omega037> |
stop recording me, this is america |
| 3124 |
TenthTARDIS |
<Omega037> |
it's called a contraction...ask your mother about them |
| 3123 |
TenthTARDIS |
<Omega037> |
well, it seemed like a good idea at the time |
| 3122 |
Omega037 |
<TenthTARDIS> |
note to self: don't listen to Nyghtshade |
| 3121 |
TenthTARDIS |
<spif> |
it's more fun when you have free bacon |
| 3120 |
spif |
<frisv> |
everyone is bi for a price |
| 3119 |
spif |
<doctorsound> |
Given St. Louis' high rates of Chlamydia, you're probably right. |
| 3118 |
spif |
<Evin> |
Sometimes you just have to wear the underwear knowing there's a man right on your ass. |
| 3117 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
I totally grok disney underwear |
| 3116 |
bbbeluga |
<Sonny> |
its not what you know its who you blow... |
| 3115 |
Evin |
<Greetings|Work> |
and I would like to tramatize my child with large mammals |
| 3114 |
nerddtvg |
<frisv> |
2:30 in the afternoon. time for a nap? no sir it's time for your SEX ROBOT |
| 3113 |
spif |
<scittles> |
i bet i could thigh squish a marshmallow |
| 3112 |
doctorsound |
<Greetings|Work> |
his is much nicer and wider |
| 3111 |
timotab |
<res0> |
had to do one slight tweak |
| 3110 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
i made a doodie |
| 3109 |
Omega037 |
<GreetingsADM> |
Holy sparks! A negro! |
| 3108 |
Nyghtshade |
<Omega037> |
IRC is like real time reddit |
| 3107 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
leak upwards |
| 3106 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
these lumps are not for grabbing |
| 3105 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
timotab! THERE IS AN EMBARGO ON GRABBING ME |
| 3104 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
but guys, its a beautiful place to bang |
| 3103 |
rikkitikki |
<tadni> |
rikkitikki: ... I'm gonna have to eat you out, now, you know that, right? |
| 3102 |
doctorsound |
<bbbeluga> |
misspwn, i loved your hotdog octopuses |
| 3101 |
doctorsound |
<dolemite7> |
going to Dobbs to get your car worked on is like taking your computer to Office Depot for a tune up |
| 3100 |
nerd|gone |
<Primesauce> |
Anyone that disagrees with the Oxford comma is a terrible human being |
| 3099 |
rikkitikki |
<tadni> |
Someone, eat me out. |
| 3098 |
dolemite7 |
<Omega037> |
yeah, i wanted kids too, which is why im moving to St Charles Co |
| 3097 |
spif |
<Omega037> |
eh, dry anal isnt really fun for anyone |
| 3096 |
res0 |
<Omega037> |
dont slam your clam on crazy |
| 3095 |
bbbeluga |
<Greetings|Work> |
I want to wrap my hand around a noodler |
| 3094 |
bbbeluga |
<doctorsound> |
I've got a nice pleated butthole |
| 3093 |
Nyghtshade |
<tadni_> |
Until I she her, honest to dog, making out with some chick and actually enjoying it ... I'm not buying it. |
| 3091 |
doctorsound |
<tadni > |
Fresh Prince of my Loins. |
| 3090 |
doctorsound |
<Raucous> |
There's only gonna be seven planets left after I reck uranus. |
| 3089 |
monkers |
<Nyghtshade> |
The amount of erections I've seen in locker room showers... |
| 3088 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
fuck yo couch |
| 3087 |
Omega037 |
<tadni> |
monkers: You will find, I have many holes. |
| 3086 |
timotab |
<Primesauce> |
I WANNA KISS YOU EVERY MINUTE EVERY HOUR EVERY DAY |
| 3085 |
nerddtvg |
<tadni> |
Man, I'm so innocent. All my cock talk is/are about fights. |
| 3084 |
nerddtvg |
<tadni> |
nerddtvg: Bitches be Craftin. Bitches be Lovecraftian. |
| 3083 |
nerd|skewl |
<bbbeluga> |
i hardly grab people |
| 3082 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
no water sports |
| 3081 |
spif |
<Evin> |
Just imagine Jeff Daniels. Subtract 30 years and 50 lbs. |
| 3080 |
spif |
<Evin> |
I only relate to people who are dead inside. |
| 3079 |
timotab |
<harrisonn> |
it feels like a big hole in my toolbox |
| 3078 |
nerd|gone |
<DeliriumTremens> |
scittles What I provide here is a service. It's a service not everyone can relate to or accept easily. But it's a service, none the less, that brigthens the room with a sickly shade of barf. |
| 3077 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I bought a gun. It's name is Daisy. It fires cat vomit directly into my slippers. |
| 3076 |
TenthTARDIS |
<introspectr5> |
i call shenanigans |
| 3075 |
funkyb |
<nerd|work> |
TenthTARDIS: back in those days there was a bot called redditalien. it was a good bot. a friendly bot. thenit turned on us. used by the the moderators of the #reddit channels (freenode sub delegates moderation for groups), it reported our topic changes, kick bans, ops, deops, all the good in the world. it ruined what we knew as #reddit stlouis and gave us the abomination we have today. RIP #reddit stlouis 2011 |
| 3074 |
doctorsound |
<xxxt> |
the police are just a bunch of haters |
| 3073 |
axe9|work |
<monkers> |
yah its kinda nice being a SINK |
| 3072 |
spif |
<frisv> |
we are now free to visit other places that serve foamy beer |
| 3071 |
spif |
<monkers> |
minus the ballsack |
| 3070 |
nerd|work |
<doctorsound> |
Chank: You're a sick fuck. |
| 3069 |
Omega037 |
<frisv> |
Axe9 is a vibrator |
| 3068 |
Evin |
<scittles> |
i've heard too much about your penis in the last 5 min |
| 3067 |
rikkitikki |
<monkers> |
my skin color matches my penis for once ... sort of exciting. |
| 3066 |
spif |
<monkers> |
you're all a bunch of niggers. |
| 3065 |
spif |
<scittles> |
man. I love a country where we'd gamble $50 to see if we could eat 5 lbs of meat. |
| 3064 |
spif |
<HoneyBadja> |
Santa will melt your faces off with metal! |
| 3063 |
Chank |
<Greetings|Work> |
Her lips were very nice looking just not all that functional |
| 3062 |
nerddtvg |
<res0> |
nerddtvg is my favorite nerddtvg |
| 3061 |
spif |
<Evin> |
I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbert. |
| 3060 |
spif |
<Evin> |
And by that he means he dislikes boobs his own age. |
| 3059 |
monkers |
<doctorsound> |
Hitler did nothing wrong. |
| 3058 |
DeliriumTremens |
<frisv> |
i'm definitely racist |
| 3057 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bbbeluga> |
i have 2 tattoos already, i dont need one on my butthole. |
| 3056 |
spif |
<axe9|work> |
I do my best analysis while shitting actually |
| 3055 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
we all know how i feel about bones in my meat. :\ |
| 3054 |
bbbeluga |
<axe9|work> |
I feel like lunchboobies would be enjoyable |
| 3053 |
bbbeluga |
<GreetingsADM> |
My word hole is going to be so sore in the morning |
| 3052 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
he gives me his meat and then leaves. typical. |
| 3051 |
spif |
<GreetingsADM> |
She likes her meat stuffed in a warm pocket |
| 3050 |
nerd|work |
<monkers> |
would you, could you, circle jerk in a box, would you could you circle jerk with a fox? |
| 3049 |
nerd|work |
<misspwn> |
i can circlejerk all day |
| 3048 |
tadni |
<bbbeluga> |
nograb |
| 3047 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
its totally a power, im a cheap date. |
| 3046 |
secretninjaket |
<GreetingsADM> |
the combination of jiggle and punch is mesmerizing |
| 3045 |
spif |
<misspwn> |
all in moderation, except crack |
| 3044 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
guys, its the birthday of our great country. calm the fucking freedom down. |
| 3043 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
too much porn makes the core hot |
| 3042 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound> |
Yeah, laws are for faggots. |
| 3041 |
spif |
<Omega037> |
minus getting picked on at school for having horns and shit |
| 3040 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
can we go back to replacing movie titles with boobs |
| 3039 |
Pb_ft |
<baslisks|work> |
get some jean co jeans and do pot under the bleachers too |
| 3038 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
yeah i just spoon it into my mouth |
| 3037 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
i think that is about pubes |
| 3036 |
spif |
<scittles> |
"67 fluffy divas" |
| 3035 |
spif |
<tadni> |
spif: Don't know. They talk constantly online though and they "ship" her and this girl on tumblr. And the said it's cannon now or something. |
| 3034 |
rikki|PDX |
<bbbeluga> |
i would eat that. |
| 3033 |
spif |
<res0> |
what a dumb quote |
| 3032 |
||cw |
<HoneyBadja> |
drink 'till i'm sterile |
| 3031 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
entangledphoton, when my butthole stops clenching and spewing water, i'll grill some and report back |
| 3030 |
entangledphoton |
<frisv> |
Why would anyone do anything in Missouri with Alton and Roxana so close. |
| 3029 |
bbbeluga |
<secretninjaket> |
I have the resources for a pony party |
| 3028 |
spif |
<Killsudo> |
even the dive bars survive on coke, blowjobs, and hard cash |
| 3027 |
dolemite7 |
<bbbeluga> |
its terrifying inside it. There is a strap to put on your chin and its basically a padded helmet and it smells |
| 3026 |
misspwn |
<spif> |
I have no class |
| 3025 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bbbeluga> |
sitting on it was enough for me. |
| 3024 |
spif |
<greetings|work> |
Do you wnat the taste of pickles without all that annoying chewing? |
| 3023 |
spif |
<misspwn> |
see we do our own abortions it's cool |
| 3022 |
Nyghtshade |
<Evin> |
you realize sunglasses don't conceal the fact that your neck is turned 135 degrees, right? |
| 3021 |
Omega037 |
<Evin> |
For some reason my nipples are rock hard right now. |
| 3020 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
are you suggesting she let someone pee in her butt? |
| 3019 |
spif |
<nerd|work> |
still doing boobs? |
| 3018 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
I NEED AN ENDORSEMENT FOR MY TELEDILDONICS EXPERIENCE |
| 3017 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
The Titty Farted. |
| 3016 |
spif |
<monkers> |
ya just gotta circle jerk everything that comes yer way |
| 3015 |
spif |
<frisv> |
yes there could be double beards |
| 3014 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
she's got a body like a crap filled sock |
| 3013 |
dolemite7 |
<axe9|work> |
ball shaving? |
| 3012 |
frisv |
<scittles> |
because pubes go better w/ bacon! |
| 3011 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
clown pockets? |
| 3010 |
spif |
<axe9|work> |
It makes me have the weirdest poops.. and I don't even drink that much |
| 3009 |
nerd|work |
<timotab> |
I'm not coming |
| 3008 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
timotab we are going to tap dat ass |
| 3007 |
Nyghtshade |
<TenthTARDIS> |
Wait, why was that quote worthy?! I've had many other better quotes! |
| 3006 |
secretninjaket |
<TenthTARDIS> |
It's always fun when you have free rein |
| 3005 |
bbbeluga |
<secretninjaket> |
I was a french horse once |
| 3004 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
i want it to be known that i was not trying to sex these young men. |
| 3003 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
"My beaver is bored and wants to play, do you have any wood for my beaver today" |
| 3002 |
Omega037 |
<monkers> |
Omega037 you're a dickhead. |
| 3001 |
funkyb |
<soupmeister> |
Oh yes. I claimed my territory. note to guys: if you really like a girl, piss on her lawn. It will eatablish dominance. |
| 3000 |
spif |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Stop grabbing me. |
| 2999 |
funkyb |
<kitkatkaytee> |
You are gorgeous. i still think soupy is gorgeous er |
| 2998 |
funkyb |
<spotmonk> |
well... if it's fucks you're looking for, I deal them out indiscriminately |
| 2997 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
I'm imagining a monster with like 80 penises all over him who can't get an erection on a single one |
| 2996 |
Nyghtshade |
<spotmonk> |
I just want to blow a giant load on her tits |
| 2995 |
bgresham |
<frisv> |
can you grab yourself? |
| 2994 |
spif |
<frisv> |
just quote dtbot then grab yourself |
| 2993 |
spif |
<frisv> |
i'm watching videos of scantily clad women doing hockey stops now |
| 2992 |
Nyghtshade |
<HoneyBadja> |
i thought she was nuts, then i grabbed her once and all squish, kinda gross |
| 2991 |
Pb_ft |
<greetings|work> |
Don't blame Political Correctness for an expectation that you be nice to people. |
| 2990 |
Pb_ft |
<doctorsound> |
Could God make a burrito so fattening that even he can't move? |
| 2989 |
redfenix |
<doctorsound> |
Fucknig OSHA trying to ruin our fun. |
| 2988 |
dolemite7 |
<scittles> |
then magically pull the bone out |
| 2987 |
doctorsound |
<dolemite7> |
omfg, i love the qt buffalo chicken dicks |
| 2986 |
timotab |
<greetings|work> |
bbbeluga is in a good mood, time for blow jobs |
| 2985 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
ohhhh yeah thats the part we should have cut off |
| 2984 |
GreetingsADM |
<bbbeluga> |
how many of you have awkward semis? |
| 2983 |
GreetingsADM |
<HoneyBadja> |
i'd always come for Evin deepthroating things |
| 2982 |
funkyb |
<greetings|work> |
I want to eliminate the whites |
| 2981 |
rikki|PNW |
<doctorsound> |
Fucking hipsters trying to cop my style. |
| 2980 |
honeybadja |
<axe9|work> |
I'm a fucking idiot |
| 2979 |
doctorsound |
<GreetingsADM> |
Napolean Dynomite is the poutine of movies |
| 2978 |
timotab |
<redfenix> |
I carried that uncomfortable hunk of metal in my ass for .. some amount of years |
| 2977 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bbbeluga> |
I missed boobs and vaginas! |
| 2976 |
spif |
<HoneyBadja> |
bewb, bewbies, etc. |
| 2975 |
spif |
<HoneyBadja> |
vaginas. why? |
| 2974 |
||cw |
<HoneyBadja> |
those kind have the V that you don't have to worry about holding it at the correct angle so you can just slide it back and forth |
| 2973 |
HoneyBadja |
<bbbeluga> |
stop linking pictures of meat. its too early to get me all hungry and mouth watery. |
| 2972 |
spif |
<rikki|PDX> |
Lol wait you guys don't fling poo? |
| 2970 |
spif |
<ep|home> |
McDonald's makes my poop hurt |
| 2969 |
spif |
<ep|home> |
I am watching Disney musical songs and it is giving me vodka ads |
| 2968 |
nerd|sick |
<bbbeluga> |
i have gremlins in my head |
| 2967 |
nerd|sick |
<res0> |
I am quite hot |
| 2966 |
spif |
<Evin> |
the difference between a pool inflatable and a sex doll is simply shape. |
| 2965 |
spif |
<scittles> |
pool fuckings man |
| 2964 |
res0 |
<secretninjaket> |
mmmmm dick |
| 2963 |
bbbeluga |
<spif> |
ok if no one else comes I'll just play by myself |
| 2962 |
fresham |
<dolemite7> |
maybe it's a sex goblin with a carnival penis |
| 2961 |
nerd|sick |
<scittles> |
lolz my printer says there's a jam in the rear door ( a° \ a°) |
| 2960 |
Evin |
<scittles> |
pee on him |
| 2959 |
nerd|sick |
<res0> |
this is quantum fucking we're talking about. |
| 2958 |
nerd|sick |
<frisv> |
i just realized that i think theres a way for two guys to penetrate each other at the same time |
| 2957 |
Pb_ft |
<res0> |
I've successfully woken up every time I've stopped sleeping. |
| 2956 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The cult of the gaping vagina. |
| 2955 |
Notbrad |
<spif> |
daily doodles and the new one is a lot of a bit of work on the other use the new year to be a bit and I have any attachments is the way of the way |
| 2954 |
Nyghtshade |
<frisv> |
We all have orgasm devices. Some are humans |
| 2953 |
spif |
<frisv> |
But dick's can move in the same way dildos can |
| 2952 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
no they can lol nevermind all of this. my parts dont move in the ways that machine did. its not the same. it was a joke to begin with and this has gone horribly wrong. |
| 2951 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
i have needs |
| 2950 |
spif |
<frisv> |
Hands have been around longer than dildos |
| 2949 |
HoneyBadja |
<bbbeluga> |
now i know how guys feel about dildos |
| 2948 |
Evin |
<rikki|phoney> |
my blood is just too good |
| 2947 |
spif |
<Nyghtshade> |
A few gorgeous ladies is totally worth a bunch of wrinkly ones. |
| 2946 |
Omega037 |
<tadni> |
misspwn: I'm SO into poop. |
| 2945 |
nerd|work |
<frisv> |
till marshmallow drips off my balls |
| 2944 |
rikkitikki |
<scittles> |
take a shave, have a smore, shave some more |
| 2943 |
||cw |
<Evin> |
A little tossed salad in the shower, I mean you should always wash your salad anyway. |
| 2942 |
doctorsound |
<greetings|work> |
Those uppidy white people of the Oneida Nation |
| 2941 |
rikkitikki |
<||cw> |
though it's big enough that you can mitigate that |
| 2940 |
HoneyBadja |
<rikki|phoney> |
who cares about pee control |
| 2939 |
lacrimosus |
<GreetingsADM> |
Mac and cheese is the opiate of the people |
| 2938 |
spif |
<doctorsound> |
Nothing like pulling a 6" squiggily one out between some chocolate and marshmellow. |
| 2937 |
doctorsound |
<frisv> |
trim down (there) for what |
| 2936 |
spif |
<Evin> |
and once or twice a year buttstuff? |
| 2935 |
Omega037 |
<scittles> |
prolly monkey cock pics |
| 2934 |
||cw |
<Evin> |
nuts are good. by themselves. |
| 2933 |
secretninjaket |
<Evin> |
That line is called the taint. |
| 2932 |
doctorsound |
<misspwn> |
tadni, i look like a female neck beard |
| 2931 |
DeliriumTremens |
<scittles> |
this is worse than when that guy kept entering and leaving |
| 2930 |
Nyghtshade |
<misspwn> |
i'm down for meat ups |
| 2929 |
spif |
<Evin> |
Well, some people can suck my dick. |
| 2928 |
rikki|phoney |
<Evin> |
I'm socially awesome. |
| 2927 |
GreetingsADM |
<spif> |
small talk is the cancer killing lacrimosus' America |
| 2926 |
rikki|phoney |
<Nyghtshade> |
Triangles are spooky. |
| 2925 |
nerddtvg |
<spotmonk> |
yeah... that needed grabbed. I was about to |
| 2924 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
i guess i could play some holes, but not every weekend. it gets boring. |
| 2923 |
rikki|phoney |
<Nyghtshade> |
And then your eyes get kind of glossy when it hits hard enough. |
| 2922 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
step 1) drink 10 beers, step 2) french braid |
| 2921 |
funkyb |
<rikki|phoney> |
bingle bangle bungle I'm so happy in the jungle I refuse to gooo |
| 2920 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
if you like doing it in the butt, do it. If you don't then don't. |
| 2919 |
GreetingsADM |
<bbbeluga> |
but it doesnt really matter unless someone is asking to do you in the butt, and i don't think anyone is offering |
| 2918 |
spif |
<Omega037> |
as in happy to be pounded in the ass by another guy |
| 2917 |
Omega037 |
<tadni|allahbaa> |
rikki|phoney: Have you seen my boner? |
| 2916 |
Omega037 |
<tadni|allahbam> |
Omega037: I'm a racist ... and a stalker! |
| 2915 |
funkyb |
<monkers> |
and i havent had a prostate exam in quite some time |
| 2914 |
memmek2k |
<Omega037> |
dont argue with me, im right |
| 2913 |
gandarf |
<Omega037> |
its more the size issue |
| 2912 |
rikkitikki |
<scittles> |
i'm not sure my fingers fit there either. honestly haven't tried. |
| 2911 |
rikkitikki |
<greetings|work> |
If you don't want a horse cock you do |
| 2910 |
spif |
<misspwn> |
my penis wrinkles from cold water |
| 2909 |
rikkitikki |
<ThatDeadDude> |
I find it hard to let people in |
| 2908 |
Pb_ft |
<memmek2k> |
I BET SHE HAS SOME JEWISH IN HER |
| 2907 |
Pb_ft |
<doctorsound> |
The way white people is... |
| 2906 |
fresham |
<Evin> |
you should never forget the o. |
| 2905 |
Nyghtshade |
<rikkitikki> |
I'm too busy getting on it |
| 2904 |
doctorsound |
<tadni> |
Give me some of that cock. |
| 2903 |
||cw |
<HoneyBadja> |
i prefer pulled monkey :P |
| 2902 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
I used my more expensive one and it worked way better |
| 2901 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
And my more expensive one I wasn't using cuz it's way bigger |
| 2900 |
||cw |
<Evin> |
genital up. |
| 2899 |
tadni |
<Evin> |
Your mom is a bony prominence with no cushion. |
| 2898 |
tadni |
<Camerongoogly> |
They can look funny, but that doesn't mean anything about function |
| 2897 |
spif |
<Evin> |
Wrong penis secretion. |
| 2896 |
spif |
<secretninjaket> |
I was referencing the role of pineapple in the taste of semen |
| 2895 |
nerd|sick |
<Omega037> |
like guy on guy |
| 2894 |
Omega037 |
<nerd|sick> |
don't care, I got it |
| 2893 |
nerd|sick |
<tadni> |
Omega037 Same with homos. |
| 2892 |
spif |
<Omega037> |
you know that chickens poop and lay eggs from the same hole, right? |
| 2891 |
nerd|sick |
<GreetingsADM> |
I hope she comes back with some penis shaped Tchotchkes |
| 2890 |
nerd|sick |
<bbbeluga> |
nerd|sick, the only escorting is done by the police officer students i have |
| 2889 |
monkers |
<spif> |
monkers nou |
| 2888 |
spif |
<secretninjaket> |
I just get to excited when I see a grabable |
| 2887 |
spif |
<Evin> |
fine, I'll just stick to butt stuff. |
| 2886 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
I can't help it, I like robot ass |
| 2885 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
put his genitals in your mouth, check. put his mouthcleaner in your mouth... NO |
| 2884 |
dolemite7 |
<doctorsound> |
How can you get blumpkins if you're affraid to shit with teh other one in the room? |
| 2883 |
rikkitikki |
<introspectr5> |
i can't believe in any religion that doesn't have MILF's |
| 2882 |
bbbeluga |
<Omega037> |
my douchiness was a much bigger obsticle |
| 2881 |
tadni |
<Evin> |
Rikkitikki hates my blonde hair and 8 inch penis. |
| 2880 |
spif |
<misspwn> |
wife experience is where i sit for couple hrs watching dr phil, then clean and cook you dinner and then leave you with blue balls |
| 2879 |
spif |
<misspwn> |
i told you wife experience includes no sex so you might as well get a maid costume |
| 2878 |
tadni |
<res0> |
I knew someone would grab that too P |
| 2877 |
tadni |
<res0> |
I knew rikki would grab it. |
| 2876 |
rikki|phoney |
<res0> |
"too long to explain" also applies to my dick |
| 2875 |
bbbeluga |
<GreetingsADM> |
I forgot about the penis |
| 2874 |
introspectr3 |
<bbbeluga> |
damn it feels good to be a gangsta |
| 2873 |
bbbeluga |
<spif> |
I missed the money shot |
| 2872 |
res0 |
<GreetingsADM> |
bag of dicks is one of my favorite nouns |
| 2871 |
GreetingsADM |
<spif> |
I disowned my family for being jerks |
| 2870 |
Nyghtshade |
<Evin> |
Don't tell her i said she's a dude. |
| 2869 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
suck it like a hose? |
| 2868 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
optimism comes out of my blow hole. |
| 2867 |
GreetingsADM |
<kitkatkaytee> |
It's okay, my cunt is used to it. |
| 2866 |
res0 |
<GreetingsADM> |
I like my women like I like my coffee, picked out of the feces of a medium sized feline |
| 2865 |
spif |
<Pb_ft> |
err the forcing, not the fapist dictatorship |
| 2864 |
doctorsound |
<ThatDeadDude> |
We should put abortion drugs in the water supply |
| 2863 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bbbeluga> |
oh gosh they have wood |
| 2862 |
bbbeluga |
<frisv> |
but escaping an 8 point hole was tough to do |
| 2861 |
rikkitikki |
<Chank1> |
PULL OUT THE WASHBOARD AND GET TO WORK WOMAN |
| 2860 |
doctorsound |
<rikkitikki> |
the way white people is |
| 2859 |
rikkitikki |
<spif> |
because I'm 12 |
| 2858 |
rikkitikki |
<memmek2k> |
TAKE US EVERYWHERE WITH YOU |
| 2857 |
timotab |
<doctorsound> |
I would peg memmek2k |
| 2856 |
Nyghtshade |
<spotmonk> |
my wiener works as a thermometer, but you just put things in and I say "oh, yeah, that's hot" |
| 2855 |
spif |
<Evin> |
you people have the memories of goldfish |
| 2854 |
timotab |
<jennn> |
Not only I am really married it's also a monogamous relationship. God, I think the joke's on me not everybody else. |
| 2853 |
GreetingsADM |
<tadni|cananada> |
secretninjaket: I'm making a chart with boob size to age. |
| 2852 |
GreetingsADM |
<secretninjaket> |
> 10lbs of boobs pressing against my lungs |
| 2851 |
Omega037 |
<lacrimosus> |
Primesauce has the lowest hanging fruit. |
| 2850 |
Omega037 |
<Primesauce> |
Yeah, you should ALWAYS wear a condom when with your sister. |
| 2849 |
nerddtvg |
<introspectr5> |
oh my god bbbeluga! codex slept with wheaton.... |
| 2848 |
bbbeluga |
<monkers> |
hey did you guys hear biebers new single? |
| 2847 |
Evin |
<memmek2k> |
so that when you push with a finger or two it cracks |
| 2846 |
ThatDeadDude |
<jennn> |
You're gonna have to work on thinking more dick if you want to stick around. |
| 2845 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
I'm fat. |
| 2844 |
rikkitikki |
<axe9|work> |
Another day, another clusterfuck |
| 2843 |
spif |
<nicomachus> |
clearly I actually AM a US senator...? |
| 2842 |
Notbrad |
<Omega037> |
ah, nothing like a shower to clean the baby puke out of your hair |
| 2841 |
rikkitikki |
<Nyghtshade> |
Show me the color of your urination. |
| 2840 |
Evin |
<wiggly> |
no incest pls |
| 2839 |
rikkitikki |
<Greetings|work> |
Sleepy boner? |
| 2838 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
And your panties, like cheesecloth, squeeze all the juice out? |
| 2837 |
doctorsound |
<ihcu> |
i wish i could have my period in a purse |
| 2836 |
rikkitikki |
<frisv> |
why am I always gay in dreams |
| 2835 |
spif |
<monkers> |
a scrub is a man who cant get no love from me. |
| 2834 |
nerd|work |
<GreetingsADM> |
You don't consider a mustache, a Mustache considers you |
| 2833 |
spif |
<misspwn> |
whatever i'm gona smoke crack and watch gossip girl |
| 2832 |
Chank |
<nerd|work> |
That's because Andrew is a shitty name. |
| 2831 |
Omega037 |
<tadni|canada> |
rikkitikki: You bring the 3 pack of periods, and I'll bring the grab bag of comas. |
| 2830 |
bbbeluga |
<secretninjaket> |
the rolls are gigantic |
| 2829 |
Omega037 |
<Primesauce> |
Our love transcends dongles |
| 2828 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
boobs in all shapes and sizes |
| 2827 |
rikkitikki |
<Merlin00> |
Im notnthay drunk |
| 2826 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
*clap clap clap clap* DEEP IN THE VAAAAG OF YOUR MOM |
| 2825 |
lacrimosus |
<introspectr5> |
GRUMBLE GRUMBLE evin is inferior GRUMBLE GRUMBLE |
| 2824 |
nerddtvg |
<rikki|phoney> |
Evin but aren't dicks also for suckers |
| 2823 |
rikki|phoney |
<bbbeluga> |
but you cant help the buldge |
| 2822 |
nerddtvg |
<GreetingsADM> |
I feel like it was bigger |
| 2821 |
rikkitikki |
<GreetingsADM> |
My first Real Doll" |
| 2820 |
nerddtvg |
<tadni> |
rikkitikki Teach me how to drive Vag. |
| 2819 |
nerddtvg |
<tadni> |
rikkitikki: My Little Horny. |
| 2818 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
For whom the butt fucks |
| 2817 |
misspwn |
<Monkeypaws> |
love talkin penis |
| 2816 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
THIS IS GOING TO BE THE WORST SHIT EVER |
| 2815 |
Nyghtshade |
<Omega037> |
rikki is as smooth as a baby's placenta |
| 2814 |
axe9|work |
<Nyghtshade> |
The other one is where you end up needing to jerk off with barbed wire while a monkey paddles you with a rake. |
| 2813 |
timotab |
<nerd|gone> |
maybe an inch shorter? it's pretty long right now |
| 2812 |
axe9|work |
<El Dubb> |
it only happened once, and then never again. I assume that I shat out the cancer |
| 2811 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
you're all just afraid of the all mighty uterus |
| 2810 |
rikkitikki |
<El Dubb> |
the cuter the girls, the greater the obligation |
| 2809 |
doctorsound |
<GreetingsADM> |
Each dad joke is a beatiful snowflake |
| 2808 |
axe9|work |
<ihcu> |
my vote is intl house of cocks and undergarments |
| 2807 |
Evin |
<axe9|work> |
Though.. it is nice to squirt tailgaiters... |
| 2806 |
nerd|work |
<Evin> |
I grill things so hard. |
| 2805 |
nerd|work |
<res0> |
riKKKitiKKKi |
| 2804 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
i dont really know if i want to think of my brats as skin flutes of pork |
| 2803 |
secretninjaket |
<doctorsound> |
I bet they squeeled like little bitches |
| 2802 |
rikki|phoney |
<El Dubb> |
My Magic Man is lonely, and he needs a friend |
| 2801 |
rikkitikki |
<Primesauce> |
Penis in butt is natural and pure |
| 2800 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
always waiting for your meat to warm up. |
| 2799 |
bbbeluga |
<Primesauce> |
I'm always making it rain my fluids |
| 2798 |
secretninjaket |
<Primesauce> |
secretninjaket, THOSE aren't the holes I'm talking about! |
| 2797 |
spif |
<secretninjaket> |
haven't tried any rape role plays... |
| 2796 |
poisomike87 |
<lacrimosus> |
and usually your belly and vag are stretched out. |
| 2795 |
funkyb |
<doctorsound> |
She's gonna get wrecked by some balls alright. |
| 2794 |
Omega037 |
<secretninjaket> |
I'd like to grab your grabables ) |
| 2793 |
Omega037 |
<Primesauce> |
That's why I'm so offensive. |
| 2792 |
timotab |
<res0> |
orgasm |
| 2791 |
SirWigglet |
<secretninjaket> |
oh i have genitals. |
| 2790 |
timotab |
<SirWigglet> |
So how much penis touching is going on in these conversations? |
| 2789 |
dolemite7 |
<res0> |
I make whale parts for the American working man, because that's what I am, and that's who I care about. |
| 2788 |
res0 |
<tadni> |
I would do it with him, but we tried once and even with the complete lack of skill on my end, I was so much bigger than him, it was no effort.. |
| 2787 |
Nyghtshade |
<res0> |
vagina swimming pool |
| 2786 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
apparently llama eyes look like really floppy vaginas |
| 2785 |
Omega037 |
<lacrimosus> |
timotab is an avalon slut |
| 2784 |
timotab |
<SWOLE> |
i dont think i got off |
| 2783 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
it can be discouraging, though, especially if it's weaker than they're expecting and they're really far between. |
| 2782 |
timotab |
<||cw> |
I'd also like to give it a .5 1" lift in the rear :) |
| 2781 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
oh you boys and playing with your sticks |
| 2780 |
HoneyBadja |
<Nyghtshade> |
There was like a Cm and a half scratch on my dick... and it just slowly oozed blood. |
| 2779 |
nerd|work |
<dolemite7> |
Tonight on Newschannel 5... Rabid prostitutes biting the penis heads off of unsuspecting johns, and what the police plan to do about it |
| 2778 |
doctorsound |
<DLbot> |
BECAUSE I'M A FUCKIN' IDIOT |
| 2777 |
timotab |
<GreetingsADM> |
No butts, just a sex therapist talking about it |
| 2776 |
GreetingsADM |
<introspectr5> |
long and painful or just long? |
| 2775 |
misspwn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my god that baby looks jewish |
| 2774 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
i don't want you intimidated by my large weiner |
| 2773 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
res0, you gona stay out of my underwear drawer right |
| 2772 |
rikkitikki |
<spotmonk> |
I want to rape Nyghtshade's wife! |
| 2771 |
||cw |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Or they honk at me because I cant cross the street. |
| 2770 |
timotab |
<axe9|work> |
Would be funny to put the device in a machine with a dildo, so when it connected BAM! |
| 2769 |
spif |
<ihcun> |
whatever I'm cool, just wait and see |
| 2768 |
timotab |
<Omega037> |
timotab is right |
| 2767 |
Omega037 |
<res0> |
your pinkies fuck mothers? |
| 2766 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
how did you know i like goats? _ |
| 2765 |
bbbeluga |
<Omega037> |
needs more blowhole |
| 2764 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
well im all yours now El Dubb |
| 2763 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
you dont look like you are bout to stick your hand in someones butt at all... |
| 2762 |
timotab |
<doctorsound> |
The sooner you accept it, the sooner we can blame more things on you. |
| 2761 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn> |
bitch just eat the meat |
| 2760 |
rikkitikki |
<tadni> |
Draw taints? |
| 2759 |
nerd|work |
<rikkitikki> |
nerd|work: is a bot |
| 2758 |
doctorsound |
<res0> |
misspwn: are you anal about your beads? |
| 2757 |
spif |
<misspwn> |
i wish i had a full beard |
| 2756 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
yeah Omega037 you ruin everything |
| 2755 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
and i figured fuck it, she can have a fart jar |
| 2754 |
timotab |
<res0> |
rikki is hardly what I'd call "advanced" |
| 2753 |
Omega037 |
<misspwn> |
he's a tiny fucker |
| 2752 |
Omega037 |
<spotmonk> |
when I scroll reddit and I see bbbeluga has been grabbed I do see it's usually timotab grabbing her |
| 2751 |
rikkitikki |
<bbbeluga> |
well, yes. especially if there is a penis inside it |
| 2750 |
rikki|phoney |
<doctorsound> |
I'mma fuck that lawnmower real good |
| 2749 |
rikki|phoney |
<Merlin00> |
the best handjobs are the ones where they use their mouth |
| 2748 |
Omega037 |
<rikkitikki> |
CALM YO TITTIES |
| 2747 |
Omega037 |
<rikkitikki> |
Al Gore with infinite butts? |
| 2746 |
Omega037 |
<||cw2> |
Hairy Moobs would make a good band name |
| 2745 |
rikkitikki |
<bbbeluga> |
one day i'll get married and pop out baby whales |
| 2744 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
(I can go all day here) |
| 2743 |
timotab |
<doctorsound> |
Evin, I'll give you a mouthful. |
| 2742 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!!" *crunch* *ker sploosh* *sigh* "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" |
| 2741 |
spotmonk |
<memmek2k> |
axe9|home: nice, I'd love to see it sometime |
| 2740 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Your momma so ugly, Australia banned her sale to minors. |
| 2739 |
spif |
<Evin> |
because you can't eat the same animal twice, unless you again eat poop |
| 2738 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
More like, if I fuck men AND women and you only fuck women... |
| 2737 |
rikkitikki |
<Evin> |
I am middle class black people. |
| 2736 |
Evin |
<lacrimosus> |
even i could eat 9 |
| 2735 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
that would be toooo long |
| 2734 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
i guess it sounds dirty because we are talking about meat |
| 2733 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
there are so many things i want to try though! |
| 2732 |
timotab |
<res0> |
"Sorry I ruined your vagina. Here are some flowers." |
| 2731 |
timotab |
<res0> |
you probably have a clogged hose |
| 2730 |
doctorsound |
<slothmonk> |
it gives me all the suck I could ask for and more |
| 2729 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
As men grow older we find hair places that wasn't before, and lose hair places it was. |
| 2728 |
nerd|work |
<misspwn> |
i don't always eat spaghetti but when i do, it's moms spaghetti in my pocket |
| 2727 |
doctorsound |
<monkers> |
Nyghtshade im not going to defend the NSA, but the TSA seems like a damned good idea to me that has been implemented fairly well. |
| 2726 |
timotab |
<Chank> |
the attack on your mom was more successful than I even fathomed. |
| 2725 |
doctorsound |
<rikkitikki> |
I like to build up a little |
| 2724 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
IM A DICK |
| 2723 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
Cat's are *so* hot. |
| 2722 |
spif |
<doctorsound> |
I mean, her and dickbutt have moved in, so that's like x1000 times faster than the last one. |
| 2721 |
spif |
<doctorsound> |
I mean, it's the reddit group, when *aren't* we talking about blowjobs and orgies. |
| 2720 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
Soup juice is what soupmeister and I have to clean up afterwards. |
| 2719 |
Nyghtshade |
<ggrant> |
Nyghtshade: For you, I can be anything baby. ;^) |
| 2718 |
timotab |
<Evin> |
If rikki|phoney looks like she is 12, i might be a pedo. |
| 2717 |
rikki|phoney |
<Evin> |
Don't break rikki, we need her for things. |
| 2716 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Charter has a much smaller penis, so when they bend me over and fuck me in the ass, it's not as painful. |
| 2715 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
but fucking a banana also made me laugh so |
| 2714 |
spotmonk |
<bbbeluga> |
its like an amazing banana |
| 2713 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound> |
I bet he gives some wicked blowjobs. |
| 2712 |
||cw |
<frisv> |
that's the last time you'll fuck me, tony danza! |
| 2711 |
misspwn_ |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The bedroom smelled like a bowl of rancid tuna, and I slept in there anyway. |
| 2710 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
HAM ROLLS |
| 2709 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
DOUBLE DOWN ON THAT BITCH |
| 2708 |
monkers |
<res0> |
you could just quit your job and join us |
| 2707 |
rikkitikki |
<axe9|workin> |
frisv: I'm a boobchaser |
| 2706 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
who's getting the D and where can I get the D |
| 2705 |
Merlin00 |
<misspwn_> |
happy for a D |
| 2704 |
rikkitikki |
<Merlin00> |
what kind of life am I living |
| 2703 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
CRY FUCK, AND LET SLIP THE DOGS OF #REDDIT STLOUIS |
| 2702 |
res0 |
<Camerongoogly> |
I R Cunty |
| 2701 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
DeliriumTremens, if you bleach your butthole , it'll be the most romantic gesture i know |
| 2700 |
rikkitikki |
<gandarf> |
Blumpkins for everyone! |
| 2699 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
there's a lot of penises chasing you |
| 2698 |
PajamaLamb |
<Chank> |
you're all idiots |
| 2697 |
bbbeluga_ |
<Camerongoogly> |
Omigawd yes... My erection can only get so high |
| 2696 |
dolemite7 |
<Camerongoogly> |
You can rest a big gulp on my ass |
| 2695 |
rikki|phoney |
<doctorsound> |
How am I supposed to grab misspwn's chesticles now? |
| 2694 |
Omega037 |
<Nyghtshade> |
I have a massive hardon for Urban Sprawl. |
| 2693 |
doctorsound |
<dolemite7> |
*I* support pony fuckers! |
| 2692 |
rikkitikki |
<Merlin00> |
I'm an asshole |
| 2691 |
nerd|work |
<doctorsound> |
If you're going to go around calling your poops rambone, I expect them to be as wide around as my fist, and 14" long. |
| 2690 |
rikkitikki |
<Merlin00> |
I get along with everyone (mostly) |
| 2689 |
rikkitikki |
<bgresham> |
IT BETTER BE THE BIGGEST POOP EVER. |
| 2688 |
monkers |
<misspwn> |
i had to use his big noggin to block the sun going down at red robin last night |
| 2687 |
dolemite7 |
<timotab> |
come 'n' 'ave a go if you think yer 'ard enough! |
| 2686 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga_> |
clenching is key |
| 2685 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I would go swimming in a pool filled with RR Burnin Love burgers and campfire sauce. |
| 2684 |
Nyghtshade |
<bgresham> |
I'll lube Nyghtshade's keyboard |
| 2683 |
nerd|skewl |
<bbbeluga> |
i can spot a dogs ass |
| 2682 |
rikkitikki |
<monkers> |
ya'll niggas are uncouth. |
| 2681 |
rikkitikki |
<Nyghtshade> |
Crap just slides off of it in the presence of hot water. |
| 2680 |
rikkitikki |
<axe9|workin> |
monkers: I just use my penis. |
| 2679 |
res0 |
<Notbrad> |
thats a really attractive meat |
| 2678 |
nerddtvg |
<Nyghtshade> |
My wood is fucking stunning |
| 2677 |
nerddtvg |
<Evin> |
bbbeluga gets really excited about wood. |
| 2676 |
Nyghtshade |
<jennn> |
Also, if a guy is going down on me I feel like it should be okay for him to look at my vagina. |
| 2675 |
Merlin00 |
<monkers> |
im always down for penis chat. |
| 2674 |
||cw |
<jennn> |
I will drop you with love and kindness motherfucker! |
| 2673 |
doctorsound |
<monkers> |
you're asian, shut up |
| 2672 |
timotab |
<jennn> |
The crust is the best part. |
| 2671 |
doctorsound |
<jennn> |
My ass alone weighs 94/95 |
| 2670 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
I find the best way to troll is from the center. |
| 2669 |
rikkitikki |
<ajwalsh44> |
adolf lyftler |
| 2668 |
dolemite7 |
<Notbrad> |
big beautiful trannies |
| 2667 |
Chank |
<doctorsound> |
I'm a doctor, I know how these things work. |
| 2666 |
doctorsound |
<||cw> |
you can't spell analysis without anal. |
| 2665 |
doctorsound |
<bbbeluga> |
at least i'm not crunchy |
| 2664 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH COCKS STUFFED IN THEIR MOUTHS AT THIS VERY MOMENT FOR A ROOF OVER THEIR HEAD |
| 2663 |
nerd|gone |
<Omega037> |
cw2's birth name was wb2 |
| 2662 |
Evin |
<nerddtvg> |
also, you missed a d |
| 2661 |
nerddtvg |
<res0> |
you're not being creepy, you're taking the conversation in a direction that absolutely no one wants it to go |
| 2660 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
i would ride in it just because of the mustache |
| 2659 |
nerd|training |
<DrDinosaur> |
I think lyft drivers should have no fewer than 3 DUIs. |
| 2658 |
Chank |
<DeliriumTremens> |
well ya put enough koi in a pond, they gon' fuck |
| 2657 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
there is a MASSIVE TITTY ON MY FACEBOOK FEED |
| 2656 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
Our politics keep me warm in the winter. |
| 2655 |
rikkitikki |
<Evin> |
That place goes through people faster than my penis. |
| 2654 |
Evin |
<Merlin00> |
rich people are bad, poor people are awesome |
| 2653 |
doctorsound |
<Monkerbot> |
Poor people need to shut the fuck up too. |
| 2652 |
Chank |
<nerd|training> |
I need booze. |
| 2651 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
Suddenly you all seem 10x hotter |
| 2650 |
RikkiTheReal |
<bgresham> |
https //www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygr5AHufBN4 |
| 2649 |
rikkitikki |
<RikkiTheReal> |
NOT ENOUGH RIKKIS |
| 2648 |
CitizenK_ |
<rikkitikki> |
Ú(ﾠʠÚ) |
| 2647 |
TheRealRikki |
<rikkitiki> |
I'm going for the 8.5 year old look with lots of flounce |
| 2646 |
HoneyBadja |
<doctorsound> |
But I WANT PINK |
| 2645 |
introspectr7 |
<bbbeluga> |
im not sure shes completely wet |
| 2644 |
timotab |
<doctorsound> |
I love berrating your tight butthole Omega037 |
| 2643 |
Merlin00 |
<Monkers> |
now i remember why i dont come here |
| 2642 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
How come your shirts are still on |
| 2641 |
doctorsound |
<baslisks> |
it is the cheapest easiest way to get anal |
| 2640 |
doctorsound |
<baslisks|work> |
you don't want no girl with bad teeth sucking your dick |
| 2639 |
rikki|phoney |
<Nyghtshade> |
My stellar facial hair reminds me everyday that I am a man not a boy. |
| 2638 |
timotab |
<rikki|phoney> |
also nerd|phone thanks for the pineapples |
| 2637 |
dolemite7 |
<baslisks|work> |
masturbating |
| 2636 |
Chankster^ |
<dolemite7> |
damn it feels good to be a chankster |
| 2635 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
There is human poop hidden in a Superman lunchbox somewhere along Hwy 40. The timer starts NOW |
| 2634 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
i am one of those girls that has dated many bearded men |
| 2633 |
timotab |
<nerd|phone2> |
We've already cocered boobs and penises. Cricut and restaurants. |
| 2632 |
introspectr7 |
<spotmonk> |
I'll take your mom to the matresses |
| 2631 |
nerd|phone |
<spotmonk> |
I have a science survey for the ladies |
| 2630 |
rikki|worky |
<baslisks|work> |
bear fucking |
| 2629 |
nerd|work |
<doctorsound> |
Oh, the ravioli was delicious, and now my farts are making me hungry. |
| 2628 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
then i am an asshat |
| 2627 |
rikkitikki |
<Evin> |
I calm rikkitikki down with penis. |
| 2626 |
Evin |
<frisv> |
apparently you need to work on your grabbing |
| 2625 |
frisv |
<rikkitikki> |
damn frisv I was gonna grab that XD |
| 2624 |
rikkitikki |
<tele_> |
i'm fucking sexy as fuck |
| 2623 |
dolemite7 |
<tele_> |
but like pink in the middle |
| 2622 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i think you mean dicking |
| 2621 |
rikki|phoney |
<ThatDeadDude> |
although of course, one cannot survive on one's own breastmilk |
| 2620 |
rikki|phoney |
<Evin> |
Man, i'm so offended. Look at how offended i am. |
| 2619 |
rikki|phoney |
<dolemite7> |
if you don't like black people, then no, it's not a safe area. |
| 2618 |
rikki|phoney |
<HoneyBadja> |
it's like 3" thick |
| 2616 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
You like sleeping in pee? Cus thats how you wind up sleeping in pee. |
| 2615 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn> |
and i'll slap you with a slice of bolonga |
| 2614 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
I have a husky Chank |
| 2613 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
you want work or insert rows into your spankbank |
| 2612 |
timotab |
<baslisks|work> |
I may have had the same woman |
| 2611 |
||cw |
<CaptainTacoSauce> |
She did say it, but not in the way that she'll actually follow through. |
| 2610 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
every man for himself, suckers |
| 2609 |
Notbrad |
<DLbot> |
Notbrads balls are filthy sploogetaxis. |
| 2608 |
nerd|phone |
<bbbeluga> |
but.... poop on your phone |
| 2607 |
bbbeluga |
<nerd|phone> |
I don't want shit on my phone |
| 2606 |
timotab |
<||cw> |
alt.binaries.erotica.highheels.sheep ? |
| 2605 |
nerd|work |
<doctorsound> |
It's not like we strive for high quality your mom jokes around here. |
| 2604 |
spif |
<Omega037> |
is google a pokemon? |
| 2603 |
spif |
<||cw2> |
I just wait for it show up on facebook |
| 2602 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
but i think its a bit of a stretch |
| 2601 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
karen is too busy sucking my dick |
| 2600 |
||cw |
<res0> |
I have a stroke sometimes, but only if I'm lonely |
| 2599 |
doctorsound |
<Omega037> |
and she doesnt think me drinking her milk is funny |
| 2598 |
Notbrad |
<res0> |
so I guess you'll get a keep rikki weird bumper sticker on your ass. |
| 2597 |
rikkitikki |
<res0> |
KEEP RIKKI WEIRD |
| 2596 |
res0 |
<misspwn> |
Omega037, i can't wait till you hit this |
| 2595 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
jesus it looks like they lopped a horses dick off onto your plate |
| 2594 |
timotab |
<funkyb> |
but i've been using it more so might as well tweak it |
| 2593 |
timotab |
<||cw> |
I don't have a blow up matress though |
| 2592 |
timotab |
<doctorsound> |
Centipedes? In *my* vagina? |
| 2591 |
rikkitikki |
<Omega037> |
i like the teeth |
| 2590 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
timotab you look very adorable <3 |
| 2589 |
Evin |
<rikkitikki> |
misspwn me, Evin and bbbeluga are gonna have a spanking threesome |
| 2588 |
Nyghtshade |
<Evin> |
So unless you get a hall pass to go on some sort of cock safari, you ain't seeing. |
| 2587 |
rikkitikki |
<Nyghtshade> |
I smoked a single cigarette and watched porn before I was 18, I was pretty hardcore. |
| 2586 |
Omega037 |
<introspectr7> |
save some, i'll need some when i get off |
| 2585 |
timotab |
<||cw> |
so thick, so tender |
| 2584 |
rikkitikki |
<Chank> |
15 52 < Chank> GAMING IN THE STREETS |
| 2583 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
Well, alpacas have better wool... |
| 2582 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
man i havent sharted in like 10 years |
| 2581 |
timotab |
<nerd|phone2> |
But remember, I'm fat and I know it |
| 2580 |
spotmonk |
<bbbeluga> |
THERE ARE MANY STICKS IN MANY PLACES |
| 2579 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
taint weak, balls are sweaty, pubes like grub worms, moms spaghetti |
| 2578 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
I can't help it DeliriumTremens, you are so sparkly |
| 2577 |
||cw |
<dolemite7> |
it'll keep the cum out of her eyes |
| 2576 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
i like porno |
| 2575 |
nerd|work |
<timotab> |
maybe rikki|worky likes getting wet |
| 2574 |
||cw |
<bbbeluga> |
So I'm gonna just get back to work. Financial aid packages are more entertaining than arguing about electronics. |
| 2573 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
ORDER IN THE SKIES, YOU ARE BEING HELD IN CONTEMPT OF GRAVITY |
| 2572 |
res0 |
<misspwn> |
that's why we pay victoria secret to partially keep our secrets |
| 2571 |
timotab |
<baristaTam> |
now suck my cock! |
| 2570 |
timotab |
<rikki|phoney> |
let's get back to talking about Evin's above average cock |
| 2569 |
DeliriumTremens |
<res0> |
except you would get swallowed up in mine because you're tiny. |
| 2568 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
blown out buttholes anonymous |
| 2567 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
I'm cool |
| 2566 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
dolemite7: i bet you rubbed one out to Bordello on my BBS, didn't you |
| 2565 |
ThatDeadDude |
<dolemite7> |
not only am i proud to admit i am one of the few guys who actually have jacked it to ascii pron, but my conquests also include the princess from faxanadu, priscilla from wall street kid, a couple strip poker games for the C=64 i cant recall the name of, and the animated version of janine melnitz from the real ghostbusters |
| 2564 |
res0 |
<misspwn> |
mmm bananananannaas |
| 2563 |
funkyb |
<dolemite7> |
i got 15 pokemans yesterday |
| 2562 |
timotab |
<res0> |
but it's highly unlikely that nerd|work is Chankster^'s mother |
| 2561 |
Chank |
<axe9|irssi> |
Yeah... maybe I'm just an idiot or something _ |
| 2560 |
rikki|phoney |
<Omega037> |
my wife is willing sometimes |
| 2559 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
You would think playing transformers and making gun noises would get old. But you would be wrong. |
| 2558 |
Omega037 |
<res0> |
I'm both a vageater and a pussysucker |
| 2557 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
i do like happy endings |
| 2556 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
you might get rid of your cough by eating a girl laced with nyquil... |
| 2555 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
fine, just get a pump for them blow them up a bit. |
| 2554 |
nerddtvg |
<dolemite7> |
nerd and timo are on a grabbing spree |
| 2553 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
i wouldnt let you not get in silly |
| 2552 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
i motorboated a girl |
| 2551 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
nothing says I love you like a video with out pants |
| 2550 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
i thought i already declared my love for rikkitikki |
| 2549 |
nerddtvg |
<dolemite7> |
i want an okcupid for goats |
| 2548 |
nerddtvg |
<misspwn> |
RecursiveChaos, has convinced me to get this goat stimulator package |
| 2547 |
rikki|worky |
<bbbeluga> |
Penises have mouths? I have so much to learn. No wonder I'm single. |
| 2546 |
RecursiveChaos |
<funkyb> |
the 2nd crack whore was what did it. |
| 2545 |
nerd|work |
<kessme> |
well then you just took the abuse like a champ |
| 2544 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
if it is black, that might be a problem. |
| 2543 |
RecursiveChaos |
<Omega037> |
my point is that there are girls who like fedoras and neckbeards |
| 2542 |
unflipper |
<Nyghtshade> |
Unflipper has the borderline sentience of a mentally handicapped 2 year old |
| 2541 |
Nyghtshade |
<HoneyBadja> |
shit is normally brown |
| 2540 |
spif |
<res0> |
misspnw, rikkitikki, and a turkey baster |
| 2539 |
timotab |
<res0> |
misspwn has a nice beard |
| 2538 |
rikkitikki |
<bbbeluga> |
I feel like a pussybadja would be knee deep in the poon. |
| 2537 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
Oreos make you feel better right? Weren't they found to be the cookie version of crack? I know people love crack. |
| 2536 |
RecursiveChaos |
<rikkitikki> |
I never know what to do with my face |
| 2535 |
rikkitikki |
<nerd|work> |
oh res0. you're adorable |
| 2534 |
res0 |
<rikkitikki> |
I was gonna grab that |
| 2533 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
No, she said my lungs sounded great. I'm sick of getting naked so they can look at my insides anyway. |
| 2532 |
timotab |
<rikki|phoney> |
rambone |
| 2530 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
i do love it |
| 2529 |
ep|home |
<Omega037> |
so, i finished |
| 2528 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
Nooks are for birds |
| 2527 |
rikkitikki |
<bbbeluga> |
sex is just great in general |
| 2526 |
breakdancingcat |
<Nyghtshade> |
Triangles are spooky |
| 2525 |
rikkitikki |
<spotwork> |
rikkitikki is magic |
| 2524 |
introspectr7 |
<Nyghtshade> |
I just have my drug dealer buy me alcohol... I wouldn't have the balls to ask a stranger... |
| 2523 |
timotab |
<memmek|work> |
rikkitikki: I don't think you need Chank's help to look weird. |
| 2522 |
PyroBadja |
<rikkitikki> |
9 is the best though |
| 2521 |
rikkitikki |
<axe9|irssi> |
I have a chamber pot |
| 2520 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn> |
i has to make tinklerains |
| 2519 |
Nyghtshade |
<CoffeeBadja> |
i just dropped my nuts all over my lap |
| 2518 |
rikkitikki |
<recursivechaos> |
Mmmm, yeah, you like that dirty, dirty sock in yah? |
| 2517 |
Omega037 |
<res0> |
am I really about to go to bed before rikkitikki? |
| 2516 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
wow $40 exactly in ones |
| 2515 |
timotab |
<misspwn> |
about 8" long |
| 2514 |
rikki|phoney |
<misspwn> |
check out that package |
| 2513 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
well amazing is good enough for me |
| 2512 |
timotab |
<res0> |
I just imagined bbbeluga as a whale shaped train engine |
| 2511 |
rikkitikki |
<Nyghtshade> |
No tight asian strange for the bizarre white man? |
| 2510 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
15 dudes skinny dipping playing dragon? |
| 2509 |
timotab |
<recursivechaos> |
Lot's of vagina eh? |
| 2508 |
rikkitikki |
<bbbeluga> |
I could be your girlfriend rikki! |
| 2507 |
timotab |
<El Dubb> |
behold the mighty octopus |
| 2506 |
timotab |
<Nyghtshade> |
Have you heard of Huey Lewis and the News? |
| 2505 |
recursivechaos |
<HoneyBadja> |
he'd just blast it on the floor |
| 2504 |
unflipper |
<nerd|work> |
YES! I GOT IT! |
| 2503 |
nerd|work |
<Omega037> |
is "broad" sexist? |
| 2502 |
rikkitikki |
<Nyghtshade> |
He needs his nuts chopped off... |
| 2501 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
cum oddity |
| 2500 |
res0 |
<bbbeluga> |
im just saying, giant penises are terrifying. |
| 2499 |
recursivechaos |
<CitizenK_> |
I become death, destroyer of productivity |
| 2498 |
rikkitikki |
<recursivechaos> |
I'll herniate your dick for you. |
| 2497 |
recursivechaos |
<rikkitikki> |
I need a man to tell me what to do |
| 2496 |
timotab |
<spif> |
My brain filter is always lousy |
| 2495 |
Omega037 |
<res0> |
DrDinosaur clouds get penetrated by airplanes and birds |
| 2494 |
recursivechaos |
<Omega037> |
turtles have massive cocks |
| 2493 |
recursivechaos |
<DrDinosaur> |
His cloaca is sexy |
| 2492 |
rikkitikki |
<Omega037> |
Can I squirtle on your jigglypuffs? |
| 2491 |
recursivechaos |
<misspwn> |
got it, i will give that a try. rikkitikki how much hair ends up in your buttcrack? |
| 2490 |
HoneyBadja |
<recursivechaos> |
The white keys were too mainstream. |
| 2489 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
it's getting started that is difficult for me |
| 2488 |
timotab |
<HoneyBadja> |
for best results, do it while touching her |
| 2487 |
res0 |
<funkyb> |
very handy little dongle. |
| 2486 |
nerd|work |
<Nyghtshade> |
Beating Trouser Snakes. |
| 2485 |
timotab |
<SneakyPhil> |
nuh uh, not dealing with burning to death |
| 2484 |
rikkitikki |
<Nyghtshade> |
You know, I used to hate rap, but then I started smoking pot with black people. |
| 2483 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
fucking Caillou piece of shit fuck bald shit |
| 2482 |
rikkitikki |
<CookieBadja> |
i have you know i'm farting farts that could peel paint off walls right now |
| 2481 |
recursivechaos |
<CookieBadja> |
meh, looks like i pissed myself, i'm gonna go walk around a bit |
| 2480 |
rikkitikki |
<recursivechaos> |
I feel ilke I need to be on acid now |
| 2479 |
CookieBadja |
<rikkitikki> |
Hey man, you're free to come get these cookies any time |
| 2478 |
timotab |
<nerd|work> |
I'm weird like that |
| 2477 |
timotab |
<SickBadja> |
funkyb: i get a free physical / blood work yearly, other than that the only other problem i have is a slight pain in my ass |
| 2476 |
res0 |
<rikki|phoney> |
I always have lesbo dreams when I ovulate |
| 2475 |
rikki|phoney |
<nerd|work> |
knees up with a vagina |
| 2474 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
i am not afraid of a bag of dicks |
| 2473 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
SACK UP |
| 2472 |
timotab |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Does that mean I have the shittiest box then? Woohoo? |
| 2471 |
RecursiveChaos |
<misspwn_> |
i want the DP replication partner |
| 2470 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn_> |
well they gave me loads of sauce |
| 2469 |
timotab |
<Camerongoogly> |
I pooped water for the next several hours |
| 2468 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn_> |
the fuckkkkkkkkkkkk DeliriumTremens |
| 2467 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
That's when you crack the table in half with your dick and spill their breaded lardballs all over the casino pattern carpets. |
| 2466 |
res0 |
<rikki|phoney> |
(phew nobody grabbed that) |
| 2465 |
rikki|phoney |
<res0> |
"I need to fill your cavities" |
| 2464 |
dolemite7 |
<poiso> |
welp looks like my number one comment on reddit is about anal prolapse |
| 2463 |
RecursiveChaos |
<rikki|phoney> |
Or else you start getting mulatto underpants |
| 2462 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
sometimes my fingers just know what to do |
| 2461 |
rikki|phoney |
<LillyL> |
5 inch? |
| 2460 |
RecursiveChaos |
<DLbot> |
RecursiveChaos is a slack jawed taintclown. |
| 2459 |
rikki|away |
<Omega037> |
now im just stuck her with the troll and the barista strangler |
| 2458 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
god you're so jewish |
| 2457 |
RecursiveChaos |
<spotmonk> |
I wonder if they fucked the cow first |
| 2456 |
timotab |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Well, baby sandwiches on fresh bread *is* rather delicious. |
| 2455 |
RecursiveChaos |
<El Dubb> |
dropping. loads. |
| 2454 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
I keep going back and forth on the babies thing. |
| 2453 |
timotab |
<Notbrad> |
im reading the askreddit thread on my cock in your ass |
| 2452 |
RecursiveChaos |
<Omega037> |
hmm, is the study of bird sex called pornithology? |
| 2451 |
Nyghtshade |
<bbbeluga> |
reddit has taught me that ducks are super rapey |
| 2450 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
I think I'm the resident female creep in here |
| 2449 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
but i have a giant hole in the crotch |
| 2448 |
Chank |
<||cw> |
bet that'll hurt on the way out |
| 2447 |
Notbrad |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i get my daily dose of cute from my gopro butthole cam |
| 2446 |
rikki|phoney |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Get them protein poops on |
| 2445 |
RecursiveChaos |
<HoneyBadja> |
i have a rather large chest, like the bone structure, i'd look odd being too skiny |
| 2444 |
timotab |
<rikki|phoney> |
I got 40 of something for you to cram in Nyghtshade |
| 2443 |
Notbrad |
<Evin> |
Except i am right. |
| 2442 |
RecursiveChaos |
<misspwn> |
if everyone knows i'm capable of being nice they'll have a heart attack |
| 2441 |
spif |
<Camerongoogly> |
Went out in the sun today... I needed the D |
| 2440 |
HolyNerd |
<RecursiveChaos> |
I want to feel your love from my very bowels. |
| 2439 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
no she's laying belly up and stretched |
| 2438 |
nerd|work |
<bbbeluga> |
i just dont even control my fingers sometimes |
| 2437 |
RecursiveChaos |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I like my cheese like I like my women, hormonal and bloody moody once per month. |
| 2436 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
i got "ropey veins" in mine |
| 2435 |
memmek2k |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Not just for spotmonk anymore! |
| 2434 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
so every time i see "DP", that's what i think about. |
| 2433 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
THIS IS *URINE* |
| 2432 |
RecursiveChaos |
<HoneyBadja> |
always badja with your penis |
| 2431 |
RecursiveChaos |
<DeliriumTremens> |
good, i can't STAND bosnians |
| 2430 |
funkyb |
<RecursiveChaos> |
My guy is also holding his leg in the air |
| 2429 |
memmek2k |
<jennn> |
I'd rather stick it between my toes and smoke it. |
| 2428 |
funkyb |
<bgresham> |
serious question. can you grab a quote of yourself grabbing a quote? |
| 2427 |
timotab |
<HoneyBadja> |
i do the grab under the balls and push forward thing |
| 2426 |
rikkitikki |
<jennn> |
this is why I refuse to hang out with jews |
| 2425 |
timotab |
<jennn> |
He wants it in the butt he just won't do an enema first as required. |
| 2424 |
timotab |
<HoneyBadja> |
someone give me nuts |
| 2422 |
RecursiveChaos |
<DeliriumTremens> |
spif: mostly ballgags and cock rings |
| 2421 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I should buy one of those green lasers and cut the thing off myself |
| 2420 |
nerddtvg |
<res0> |
I like eating meat |
| 2419 |
lacrimosus |
<dolemite7> |
you're like a gay octopus at a boner buffet |
| 2418 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
if I was an octopus, i would be able to grab more people at once. And also bring all of the groceries upstairs at one time. |
| 2417 |
misspwn_ |
<nerddtvg> |
bbbeluga you have great quotes |
| 2416 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga> |
i will grab all of you |
| 2415 |
misspwn_ |
<dolemite7> |
iirc |
| 2414 |
misspwn_ |
<rikkitikki> |
whiskey is nasty |
| 2413 |
rikkitikki |
<Omega037> |
mine was basically the smallest |
| 2412 |
rikkitikki |
<lacrimosus> |
being morbidly obese is totes more healthy than keto. |
| 2411 |
rikki|phoney |
<DeliriumTremens> |
foreskinballoon is good |
| 2410 |
res0 |
<spotmonk> |
oh captain my poopcaptain |
| 2409 |
spotmonk |
<dolemite7> |
timotab is an ignorant poopcaptain. |
| 2408 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
don't touch my kitten balloons |
| 2407 |
rikki|phoney |
<res0> |
a phone just for fuckin |
| 2406 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
get a tossed salad so there's sweet onion sauce in your butthole |
| 2405 |
rikkitikki |
<spotmonk> |
so much meat and sweet sauce in my mouth |
| 2404 |
ThatDeadDude |
<entangledphoton> |
rambone 19 times in 24 hours? |
| 2403 |
spif |
<timotab> |
Rambone is more popular than shit |
| 2402 |
rikkitikki |
<ThatDeadDude> |
perfectly possible if you convert it to a strapon |
| 2401 |
dolemite7 |
<rikkitikki> |
Sounds like some kind of future gay marriage |
| 2400 |
dolemite7 |
<RecursiveChaos> |
[grundle intensifies] |
| 2399 |
Evin |
<rikkitikki> |
Little blonde kids are so freaky |
| 2398 |
RecursiveChaos |
<entangledphoton> |
it's gone all soupmeister in here |
| 2397 |
rikkitikki |
<RecursiveChaos> |
WIPE IT? |
| 2396 |
RecursiveChaos |
<Evin> |
This message brought to you by the makers of Rambone. Have a Ramboning problem? Call 1 800 GETS OFF |
| 2395 |
||cw |
<RecursiveChaos> |
I mean, it *sounds* really big, but it's not to hard to get your lips around it. |
| 2394 |
RecursiveChaos |
<Omega037> |
i feel like i just waterboarded an infant |
| 2393 |
timotab |
<res0> |
friends of rambone have good sex with hipsters |
| 2392 |
timotab |
<baristaTam> |
not the first time I've been called a moonbeamdumpling |
| 2391 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
RecursiveChaos is a dicknose poopnazi. |
| 2390 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
rikki, we can slut this place up together |
| 2389 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
grab your ladies balloons |
| 2388 |
DeliriumTremens |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Well, depends on the night, but I'd come. |
| 2387 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
as someone that owns 2 breasts, i am boycotting that word |
| 2386 |
timotab |
<SleepyBadja> |
or, like a really nice rack screen printed on the shirt, but someone digitally added nipple hair |
| 2385 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
like with my body, not my car |
| 2384 |
ep|home |
<SleepyBadja> |
nobody likes overcooked noodles |
| 2383 |
timotab |
<ep|home> |
I meant to say goodnight, but my noodles were boiling |
| 2382 |
spif |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Welp, now rikkitikki's started Skynet |
| 2381 |
rikkitikki |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Eventually, all of the DTbot quotes will be in reference to other DTbot quotes. It'll be recursive chaos! |
| 2380 |
dolemite7 |
<RecursiveChaos> |
"Long in the tooth"? How about "Tough in the Grundle?" |
| 2379 |
introspectr7 |
<bbbeluga> |
i meant that as a sexual joke but it came off as murderous and now i feel bad |
| 2378 |
timotab |
<jennn> |
All that matters is that I'm old and wiser. |
| 2377 |
RecursiveChaos |
<DrDinosaur> |
We don't accept implied pedophilia. It needs to be expressly written out. |
| 2376 |
Chank |
<misspwn> |
good thing i don't like fun, or i'd be jealous |
| 2375 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
i can only handle one crazy lady and that lady is me |
| 2374 |
El_Dubb : jesus makin' it rain divine jizz |
|
|
| 2373 |
Pajamalamb |
<Notbrad> |
cant deny that girth |
| 2372 |
Pajamalamb |
<RecursiveChaos> |
He's like the cumming of christ. |
| 2371 |
Pajamalamb |
<RecursiveChaos> |
I like women that fake it, it gives the impression that they think we care. |
| 2370 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
whoops craps |
| 2369 |
memmek2k |
<RecursiveChaos> |
erybody want's to put their nuts in jennn |
| 2368 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
I just coil the rest into my pocket |
| 2367 |
||cw |
<SickBadja> |
nobody likes fried balls |
| 2366 |
timotab |
<breakdancingcat> |
yeah well im strange |
| 2365 |
axe9|work |
<dolemite7> |
dolemite7 is a white trash shitbiscuit. |
| 2364 |
recursivechaos |
<Evin|work> |
ITS A MAP OFF FAP OFF |
| 2363 |
memmek2k |
<Camerongoogly> |
Chickens are like mini dinosaurs, bro, and are chock full of brotein and Vitamin RAWR. |
| 2362 |
timotab |
<Camerongoogly> |
YOU CAN'T IGNORE MY GIRTH |
| 2361 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
take all your clothes off first, obviously french whales don't wear clothes |
| 2360 |
introspectr3 |
<bbbeluga> |
yo bitch, you mine. |
| 2359 |
introspectr3 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"he was actually the ugliest ugliest princess" |
| 2358 |
poisomike87 |
<introspectr3> |
mmmmmmmm these purple monkey balls are beautiful |
| 2357 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
WHITE HOT WIRE HANGERS POKING LARRY ELLISON'S FUCKING ASSHOLE |
| 2356 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
FUCKING COCKKNOBBER |
| 2355 |
dolemite7 |
<rikkitikki> |
wait what about DP? |
| 2354 |
dolemite7 |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Circular reasoning works because circular reasoning works because... |
| 2353 |
dolemite7 |
<nerd|work> |
Tuff actin' Taint action |
| 2352 |
RecursiveChaos |
<misspwn> |
but now i'm just a homeless lesbian with longer blonde hair |
| 2351 |
nerd|work |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Downside of /ignore join, no penis beer |
| 2350 |
spif |
<jennn> |
I think I just pissed myself |
| 2349 |
RecursiveChaos |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Give a man a keyboard and he will cut you with his edge. Albert Einstein |
| 2348 |
rikkitikki |
<RecursiveChaos> |
It's important to purge such urges rikkitikki |
| 2347 |
Nyghtshade |
<Notbrad> |
I'd get a credit chip implanted into my dick in a hearbeat tbh. |
| 2346 |
||cw |
<rikkitikki> |
also, come gather this ruffle |
| 2345 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
cant just jam it in there like a train into a garage |
| 2344 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
IT'S A WEDNESDAY MORNIN GRAB OFF |
| 2343 |
rikkitikki |
<memmek2k> |
fuck it. |
| 2342 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
TIL RecursiveChaos is a pedophile???? |
| 2341 |
memmek2k |
<RecursiveChaos> |
mmm, braces |
| 2340 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
I already said I've seen more dick than all of you combined |
| 2339 |
memmek2k |
<tikk1> |
Speaking of dicks... |
| 2338 |
tikk1 |
<HoneyBadja> |
i mean, we're all adults, if my dick flops out of my boxers it's not like people haven't seen one. |
| 2337 |
RecursiveChaos |
<baristaTam_> |
I think someone ran rm rf on my dick )= |
| 2336 |
memmek2k |
<DrDinosaur> |
peanut butter fuck time was fun while it lasted. |
| 2335 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
i really have to pop again gdi redbull you dont' give me wings you give me the doodies |
| 2334 |
timotab |
<tikk1> |
I should make a big pile |
| 2333 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Sometimes you're just sitting there and all of a sudden turds are crashing down your back door. |
| 2332 |
nerd|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
Replace it with my sultry, seductive voice. |
| 2331 |
DrDinosaur |
<dolemite7> |
Every black person is a motherfuckin fuckknob. |
| 2330 |
tikk1 |
<Merlin00> |
this is why I don't like british humoUr |
| 2329 |
DrDinosaur |
<dolemite7> |
My mom is a pie eating pussyhammer. |
| 2328 |
tikk1 |
<Merlin00> |
it's just poop particles, semen and dead skin |
| 2327 |
timotab |
<HoneyBadja> |
lol he looks like he is sucking on something nasty tasting |
| 2326 |
spotmonk |
<HoneyBadja> |
some of these nuts are huge |
| 2325 |
spif |
<HoneyBadja> |
the poo always trickles down his face |
| 2324 |
spif |
<wcchandl1r> |
wouldn't the 'poo also trickle down your face, though? |
| 2323 |
HoneyBadja |
<jennn> |
This thing is bigger than my vibrator. |
| 2322 |
dummey |
<Evin> |
sexual favors. |
| 2321 |
tikk1 |
<HoneyBadja> |
i want to punch a baby |
| 2320 |
tikk1 |
<HoneyBadja> |
i always do it in socks |
| 2319 |
tikk1 |
<wcchandl1r> |
what about doing it barefoot? |
| 2318 |
tikk1 |
<HoneyBadja> |
i'm just really lucky at pressing random buttons that look like i can conversate |
| 2317 |
timotab |
<Katty> |
after a full season of growing, they were about 2 inches long |
| 2316 |
timotab |
<jennn> |
I can too but my 5 month pregnant looking belly tells me maybe I should slow it down. |
| 2315 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn> |
i would only toss out the boobs as a plea bargain |
| 2314 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
so she still had a fish vagina? |
| 2313 |
timotab |
<memmek2k> |
up and down |
| 2312 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i want to go fucking fishing |
| 2311 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
I was gonna grab that |
| 2310 |
rikkitikki |
<RecursiveChaos> |
I'm going to send that to my GF who loves tongue action. |
| 2309 |
||cw |
<HoneyBadja> |
i mean it's either i'm sleeping wrong or it's all that penis i've been sucking that's causing my neck to be weird. |
| 2308 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
and cum |
| 2307 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
And raped my sister |
| 2306 |
Nyghtshade |
<bbbeluga> |
fkajdflajfe' |
| 2305 |
spif |
<HoneyBadja> |
i saw my CC bill and almost shat a turkey |
| 2304 |
rikkitikki |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Look at the size of my girk! |
| 2303 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Chank> |
one stud which wasnt wide enough |
| 2302 |
Evin |
<rikkitikki> |
I always assume they are picturing me naked |
| 2301 |
rikkitikki |
<memmek2k> |
fuck me |
| 2299 |
RecursiveChaos |
<spotmonk> |
makes me look like a ratard |
| 2298 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
I love nuts |
| 2297 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
GIMME YOUR NUT PICS |
| 2296 |
Evin |
<axe9> |
USE YOUR TONGUE |
| 2295 |
dolemite7 |
<jennn> |
If there's no donkey show then I'm not interested in watching. |
| 2294 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
it wears cock sunglasses |
| 2293 |
rikkitikki |
<RecursiveChaos> |
HoneyBadja is going to have the smoothest penis in the channel! |
| 2292 |
memmek2k |
<RecursiveChaos> |
How can DrDinosaur be both a dick in a box and the dandiest man in space? |
| 2291 |
timotab |
<blastissimo> |
Its not like theyre made of super concentrated laxatives or anything |
| 2290 |
rikkitikki |
<axe9> |
vagina ways.... |
| 2289 |
rikkitikki |
<RecursiveMoops> |
My whiskers > kitten whiskers |
| 2288 |
rikkitikki |
<wcchandler> |
anderson cooper is a very sexy man |
| 2287 |
RecursiveChaos |
<Evin> |
Well, that wasn't the goal, but, hey, free penis. |
| 2286 |
rikkitikki |
<RecursiveChaos> |
I have to turn my head and cough why touching my balls |
| 2285 |
RecursiveChaos |
<El Dubb> |
sriracha makes everything worse. damn you, Primesauce |
| 2284 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
without a fleshlight, obviously. |
| 2283 |
RecursiveChaos |
<rikkitikki> |
People always say "girl you so ratchet" |
| 2282 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I want to make a "hugs not drugs" shirt but have it say "farts not sharts" instead. |
| 2281 |
rikkitikki |
<Evin> |
semen and tears. |
| 2280 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
in my experience. |
| 2279 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn> |
hungry, haven't pooped yet, off to a great start |
| 2278 |
dolemite7 |
<HoneyBadja> |
have you ever pissed so hard you get a cramp in your dick? |
| 2277 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
It's like a butthole, only half asian. |
| 2276 |
memmek2k |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Today is the day where everyone feels a slight tickle in their memmek2khole |
| 2275 |
nerddtvg |
<CityGirl> |
GET OFF nerddtvg |
| 2274 |
nerddtvg |
<dolemite7> |
I CAN'T GET ENOUGH IN MY MOUTH AGLHLHLAGHALHAGLHGLAHGLAGHALHG |
| 2273 |
dolemite7 |
<memmek2k> |
unfortunately you can't make fingers and wrists bigger by working out |
| 2272 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
crotch coozies? |
| 2271 |
rikkitikki |
<El Dubb> |
gimme them panties |
| 2270 |
rikkitikki |
<RecursiveChaos> |
It's cute until I gotta sit their and pick the lace outta my ass. |
| 2269 |
rikkitikki |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Me neither, lacy boyshorts get wedged in my crack too much. |
| 2268 |
spotmonk |
<memmek2k> |
||cw: yes, but I haven't figured out where to put it yet |
| 2267 |
rikkitikki |
<memmek2k> |
but isn't that the ideal nipple? |
| 2266 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
become a fullonrapist |
| 2265 |
RecursiveChaos |
<jennn> |
I'm just saying, we need to end bullying by any means necessary |
| 2264 |
||cw |
<rikkitikki> |
Watch out boobies |
| 2263 |
rikkitikki |
<Nyghtshade> |
I have this massive liberty boner. |
| 2262 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
it isn't my fault all women are subs who just want to be spanked by someone they can call daddy. |
| 2261 |
rikkitikki |
<Chank> |
EVERYONE NEEDS POTS AND PANS |
| 2260 |
Evin |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I need to moisturize my hands so this dude doesn't shake hands with a wad of sandpaper |
| 2259 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"Don't stick your dick in my mouth and tell me its roses. If you need money, just ask!" |
| 2258 |
rikkitikki |
<Evin> |
I hate everyone. |
| 2257 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
they have clits the size of wombats |
| 2256 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i wanna lift cars off of babies and stuff |
| 2255 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
it's the same thing wcchandler does with calling penis "vagina" |
| 2254 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
Aside from those factors, humans are worthless. |
| 2253 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
The 800 pound penis in the room. |
| 2252 |
||cw |
<lacri|work> |
it shortens the amount of body you have to hold up, so you can get the same range of motion but lighter load if you do it from the knees |
| 2251 |
Evin |
<DrDinosaur> |
NO ONE BUT I CAN HANDLE THE SAUCE! |
| 2250 |
memmektikki |
<RecursiveMemmek> |
I'M ASIAN BUT NOT REALLY. |
| 2249 |
memmektikki |
<RecursiveMemmek> |
SUBARU! SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU!SUBARU! |
| 2248 |
||cw |
<Notbrad> |
RecursiveChaos likes to flick the immature bean |
| 2247 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
you're the best dressed chicken in town |
| 2246 |
dolemite7 |
<spif> |
saying stupid things on the internet always gets you a good answer because there's always some nerd who wants to show off how smart they are |
| 2245 |
memmek2k |
<Chank> |
WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR SOLUTIONS |
| 2244 |
GreetingsADM |
<Evin|phone> |
Duck you android. |
| 2243 |
RecursiveChaos |
<rikkitikki> |
TIL DT likes to pee on his women |
| 2242 |
timotab |
<RecursiveChaos> |
Some of us will never be a porceline doll of a woman, and should just accept that. |
| 2241 |
lacrimosus |
<DrDinosaur> |
Babies are never cute. They go from looking like aliens to looking like small awkward humans that don't know anything to small jerks that think they know everything. |
| 2240 |
timotab |
<DrDinosaur> |
Nope. I need the whole finger. |
| 2239 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Nyghtshade> |
Omg... I should make a video of me popping my dick bumps. |
| 2238 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Nyghtshade: would that be like fucking a jar opener? |
| 2237 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
the nipples edge |
| 2236 |
memmek2k |
<lacrimosus> |
You're an annoying attention whore... you don't have to do anything, your existence is offensive. |
| 2235 |
rikkitikki |
<baristaTam> |
I'm very aroused now. |
| 2234 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
have you ever farted so hard you feel like you maybe lost part of your soul? |
| 2233 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
but instead of milk, for semen |
| 2232 |
funkyb |
<baristaTam> |
fun for grabbin |
| 2231 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Notbrad> |
im sure his weiner is a big tangly knot |
| 2230 |
dolemite7 |
<RecursiveChaos> |
It's a good thing we have DTbot to remember all of the terrible things we've said. |
| 2229 |
HolyNerd |
<BaristaTam> |
"you're not fat but my dick issss" |
| 2228 |
HoneyBadja |
<Nyghtshade> |
I was just talking about how I'd love to plow that sweet ass of yours and make you sweat pure passion. |
| 2227 |
GreetingsADM |
<bbbeluga> |
mine is just a little floppy |
| 2226 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
Either way, I'm weak |
| 2225 |
nerd|work |
<misspwn> |
surprised i didn't break my hand earlier |
| 2224 |
HoneyBadja |
<Evin> |
If funkyb grabbed me any more often, I'd start charging him and complain about how he never listens to me. |
| 2223 |
memmek2k |
<RecursiveChaos> |
I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU |
| 2222 |
lacri|work |
<Evin> |
bitch, I will bench press yo face. |
| 2221 |
timotab |
<misspwn> |
i got away with half an inch |
| 2220 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Camerongoogly> |
My left ass cheek looks like Gorbechev's head |
| 2219 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
Well, obviously Obama is going to go to war with all of America. He already has. It's called Obamacare. |
| 2218 |
funkyb |
<wcchandler> |
"with a vagina like that you just gotta plow it. it's not a mower." my boss after looking up labiaplasty on wikipedia |
| 2217 |
RecursiveChaos |
<MayTheHorseBeWit> |
Non consensual is the only way mindfucking should be done |
| 2216 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
DOES THIS BUS STOP AT THE INTERSECTION OF MY BALLS AND YOUR FACE |
| 2215 |
doctorsound |
<lacrimosus> |
Let My People (hipsters) Drink? |
| 2214 |
Nyghtshade |
<GreetingsADM> |
well, mine has an elongated end so I guess its a standard |
| 2213 |
doctorsound |
<fris_> |
JSON of a bitch! |
| 2212 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
Just take kitkatkaytee, she looks young |
| 2211 |
dolemite7 |
<Evin> |
are you talking about DDR machines, or HIV positive asian trannies? |
| 2210 |
rikkitikki |
<Camerongoogly> |
The secret world of alex mack gave me my first stirrings of what I eventually came to realize was a boner |
| 2209 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
keira knightley's face looks like she's perpetually got her dick stuck in the neighbor's cat's ass |
| 2208 |
dolemite7 |
<doctorsound> |
If you need some more nut butter... |
| 2207 |
Notbrad |
<Merlin00> |
doctorsound, I wasn't planning on it buttfucker |
| 2206 |
memmek2k |
<Ryxeria> |
it's true, pussies are way more durable than dicks |
| 2205 |
rikkitikki |
<fris> |
you can use your hands, we wont tell anyone |
| 2204 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
I'm 100% sure getting kicked in the balls is worse, though |
| 2203 |
timotab |
<wcchandler> |
reminds me of the chick sucking on her used tampon video |
| 2202 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
godzilla twerking for you $5 billz |
| 2201 |
memmek2k |
<DrDinosaur> |
I prefer my women actually be 12. |
| 2200 |
Chank |
<doctorsound> |
It always makes me think of going down on some chicken breasts |
| 2199 |
Chank |
<memmek2k> |
lacri|work: My penis is a great return on your investment. |
| 2198 |
dolemite7 |
<rikkitikki> |
wieners? |
| 2197 |
HoneyBadja |
<wcchandler> |
dolemite7: the worse part is when it looks like a pube and you just trimmed yourself |
| 2196 |
nerd|work |
<wcchandler> |
you don't remember your own grabs? |
| 2195 |
memmek2k |
<misspwn_> |
last night my mouth tasted like bloody asspennies |
| 2194 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
Keeping up the trend of rikkitikki boob grabs |
| 2193 |
doctorsound |
<rikkitikki> |
Is a breastaurant like hooters or something |
| 2192 |
rikkitikki |
<DeliriumTremens> |
#rslt unwittingly visits a rape dungeon |
| 2191 |
bbbeluga |
<spotwork> |
I'd blow 3 4 inches on top of your clean driveway |
| 2190 |
ramocles |
<Merlin00> |
you can grip my penis |
| 2189 |
ramocles |
<HoneyBadja> |
can't beat these fingers boyo ;) |
| 2188 |
dolemite7 |
<gandarf> |
It's definitely a good arm workout. I'm too sore to shovel my own snow, if you know what I mean. |
| 2187 |
gandarf |
<HoneyBadja> |
i only poop doilies |
| 2186 |
Chankster |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Shoveling the car in converse was like shoveling with trader joes bags wrapped around my feet. |
| 2185 |
El_Dubb |
<Ryxeria> |
people need to calm their tits |
| 2184 |
TheGodComplex |
<TheGlobComplex> |
Nyghtshade was too busy pounding strange to play vidya like you kids. |
| 2183 |
ThatDeadDude |
<dolemite7> |
WHY IS THERE A GIANT TURD IN YOUR LASER PRINTER |
| 2182 |
dolemite7 |
<HoneyBadja> |
have you ever farted so hard your back cracks? |
| 2181 |
rikkitikki |
<Merlin00> |
I need to get a 2nd penis installed after reading the responses |
| 2180 |
Chank |
<||cw> |
you stick it in the hole and wiggle it a bit |
| 2179 |
bbbeluga |
<GreetingsADM> |
They have to be pretty firm for the ball remover to work well |
| 2178 |
Chank |
<jennn> |
But if you put a hotdog in a fleshlight, magic happens. |
| 2177 |
Jocefus |
<HoneyBadja> |
i say schlap, like in that song i can't remember the name of where he's like "reach back like a pimp and schlap a hoe" |
| 2176 |
dolemite7 |
<HoneyBadja> |
they do, but i've noticed mostly women like DP10 |
| 2175 |
timotab |
<Notbrad> |
for my eyelashes so i look extra pretty |
| 2174 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i dont want to look like an asshole, so i'll just keep using my hand |
| 2173 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
nerd|work: you've gone full retard |
| 2172 |
Omega037 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Evin has a penis shaped piercing in his penis. |
| 2171 |
GreetingsADM |
<bbbeluga> |
Is assy the boy version of sassy? |
| 2170 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
like wiping peanutbutter out of shag carpet |
| 2169 |
lacrimosus |
<Omega037> |
primesauce, God wont let anything happen to us |
| 2168 |
bbbeluga |
<timotab> |
oh, wait, you might be talking about food |
| 2167 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
timotab, you always come out of the wood work to grab my wierdthings |
| 2166 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
im super exotic. |
| 2165 |
nerd|work |
<dolemite7> |
"and make them with a tight mesh screen. perfect." |
| 2164 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
got some funk on your buds? |
| 2163 |
lacrimosus |
<GreetingsADM> |
God Hates Reps |
| 2162 |
GreetingsADM |
<Camerongoogly> |
Distance running is for prey. |
| 2161 |
dolemite7 |
<wcchandler> |
i'm watching national lampoon's vegas vacation in high def... if i didn't have SD when i was a kid my balls would've been peas by now. 5 minutes in and already almost busted one. it's like they're not allowed to wear bras or something. it's great! |
| 2160 |
gandarf |
<wcchandler> |
if my mom was her, i'd be all up in that incest |
| 2159 |
gandarf |
<monkers> |
Before I give it back circumcision, meat is bad, poor people, bicycle, skinny girls, kittens. |
| 2158 |
memmek2k |
<monkers> |
fuck you doctorsound I fight the system! |
| 2157 |
timotab |
<axe9|focusSprint> |
Not quite as supple as the originals, but I'm super happy for $20 |
| 2156 |
monkers |
<partypat> |
I don't hate black people, I don't care about them. I was talking about shenanigans. |
| 2155 |
partypat |
<timotab> |
is anyone here jealous that Chank uses nipple clamps? |
| 2154 |
lacrimosus |
<GreetingsADM> |
Omega037: Snap into your colon! |
| 2153 |
Gandarf |
<Omega037> |
Oralnuts? |
| 2152 |
doctorsound |
<DSBot> |
Hi beastly... i don't need rest, I'm DSBot. |
| 2151 |
HoneyBadja |
<Gandhi> |
I promise i wont nuke you |
| 2150 |
ThatDeadDude |
<ajwalsh|STL> |
wcchandler: how long did you hold that poo in |
| 2149 |
Chank |
<doctorsound> |
I thought all Indians did tech support? |
| 2148 |
Chank |
<DeliriumTremens> |
speak for yourself, my ballsack is majestic. booyakkasha |
| 2147 |
Chank |
<DeliriumTremens> |
ever had a poop standoff? where you and another person are pooping in different stalls in a public bathroom, but neither wants to be the first to finish? |
| 2146 |
rikkitikki |
<Chank> |
RICH MAHOGANY |
| 2145 |
DeliriumTremens |
<ThatDeadDude> |
well, for those who want it, I'm sure the technical difficulty of a machine that fires a dildo at you when you spread your cheeks is pretty similar to one firing a beer |
| 2144 |
rikkitikki |
<ThatDeadDude> |
Mr Peewee goes to the dildo store? |
| 2143 |
DeliriumTremens |
<HoneyBadja> |
i do, i tuck my dick and balls back and everything |
| 2142 |
rikkitikki |
<res0> |
find a friend that's ovulating and get your eggs from them |
| 2141 |
rikkitikki |
<witchqueen> |
At any fat level, you can have the D |
| 2140 |
El_Dubb |
<DrDinosaur> |
One day, when you least expect it, I'm going to fuck your baked goods. And it will be glorious. |
| 2139 |
monkerbot |
<misspwn> |
tipping is for chumps |
| 2138 |
dolemite7 |
<wcchandler> |
you ever try squirting hair spray on it? ha |
| 2137 |
wcchandler |
<jennn> |
I like to fake it. |
| 2136 |
Evin |
<CityGirl> |
HoneyBadja give it to me! |
| 2135 |
jennn |
<Evin> |
gonna have to chop off the boobs and tape them to the bottom of your feet. |
| 2134 |
DeliriumTremens |
<ThatDeadDude> |
gonna get me some soup bone |
| 2133 |
nerddtvg |
<bbbeluga_> |
these redskins are killing me |
| 2132 |
Chankster^ |
<Ryxeria> |
I plan to have mine replaced by fake boobs so I can look like a pornstar before that happens |
| 2131 |
doctorsound |
<dolemite7> |
Sorry doctorsound, i haven't seen ThatDudeThatDiddlesMyButthole around. |
| 2130 |
funkyb |
<Evin> |
your mom has a sata port inside, for hacking |
| 2129 |
funkyb |
<monkerbot> |
i dont want to use a product my grandma can use, it's not powerful enough. |
| 2128 |
funkyb |
<HoneyBadja> |
http://i.imgur.com/veCvZRG.jpg |
| 2127 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
stay retardeder fffffffuck yeah |
| 2126 |
rikkitikki |
<Chank> |
id volunteer to follow women and lift their boobs for them |
| 2125 |
||cw |
<doctorsound> |
Just slide in! |
| 2124 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"Wow there's a lot of people here!" http://i.imgur.com/mlINhDs.png |
| 2123 |
bbbeluga |
<Camerongoogly> |
MY GIRTH IS NOTICABLE |
| 2122 |
bbbeluga |
<Notbrad> |
pretty like my butthole is pretty |
| 2121 |
Notbrad |
<jennn> |
our eyes are not / the vagina is supposed to match the shape of my eye |
| 2120 |
rikkitikki |
<witchqueen> |
You guys are odd |
| 2119 |
memmek2k |
<misspwn> |
i need at least 7" |
| 2118 |
rikkitikki |
<res0> |
we all line up on the road with our orifices exposed |
| 2117 |
rikkitikki |
<entangledphoton> |
I want to go get more coffee, but I have a raging erection. |
| 2116 |
rikkitikki |
<jennn> |
You are so doing an enema before I do you. |
| 2115 |
dolemite7 |
<Nyghtshade> |
And then so many centuries from now it will perplex archaeologists, this piece of ancient footwear is entirely coated in genetic material. |
| 2114 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
technorogy \o/ |
| 2113 |
memmek2k |
<jennn> |
Poopmail has changed my life and boosted my confidence. I used to think no one cared or thought of me until I started receiving weekly poopmail. |
| 2112 |
jennn |
<memmek2k> |
you couldn't get mr miyagi if he was blind and into small boobs |
| 2111 |
rikkitikki |
<jennn> |
I missed out on yet another chance at pegging. Fuck. |
| 2110 |
dolemite7 |
<lacri|work> |
when life gives you lemons, you have a lemonparty |
| 2109 |
Omega037 |
<lacrimosus> |
http://corgiorgy.com/ |
| 2108 |
monkers |
<kitkatkaytee> |
I was gonna go lower, but I decided against it. |
| 2107 |
jennn |
<Nyghtshade> |
AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME MY MASHED POTATOES!?!? |
| 2106 |
jennn |
<doctorsound> |
Meh, those asian penises just never seem to fill me up. |
| 2105 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
Spanky's is that sex shop place really far north, right? |
| 2104 |
GreetingsADM |
<Nyghtshade> |
I think my Stomach would rupture if I ate more ATM. |
| 2103 |
jennn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Primesauce|phone: that wasnt a fat bald girl, that was spotmonk |
| 2102 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Ryxeria> |
Someone fill me in here |
| 2101 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
DrDinosaur: that's a nice penis |
| 2100 |
rikkitikki |
<Evin> |
FREE MUFFIN |
| 2099 |
dolemite7 |
<rikkitikki> |
scissor me timbers lacri|work |
| 2098 |
||cw |
<CityGirl> |
Notbrad: DrDinosaur got the penis a while back. |
| 2097 |
rikkitikki |
<entangledphoton> |
I called my girlfriend, "Ryan" during sex for you! |
| 2096 |
rikkitikki |
<lacri|work> |
DrDinosaur: hokay. go bang the ladies and come back and tell me about it. |
| 2095 |
rikkitikki |
<entangledphoton> |
I need to fuck vicariously through you |
| 2094 |
anotherbofh |
<lacri|work> |
maybe my ovaries will finally shrivel up and fall out |
| 2093 |
doctorsound |
<HoneyBadja> |
doctorsound: mix some tang in that routine and you can have poo tea tang |
| 2092 |
doctorsound |
<HoneyBadja> |
farts are just turds honking on the way out |
| 2091 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
said she ordered me a diamond cock ring too |
| 2090 |
dolemite7 |
<wcchandler> |
i was going to ask for a pic but then i remembered there could pervs in here who'd get off to that :/ |
| 2089 |
DeliriumTremens |
<SoCo_cpp_> |
crack it an slice your dick in half. |
| 2088 |
doctorsound |
<HoneyBadja> |
like, bruce springstein's face bothers me, but meh |
| 2087 |
memmek2k |
<Evin> |
she totes cares about my tiny peen. |
| 2086 |
monkers |
<misspwn> |
i don't need to dress up in a top hat to pretend i'm original |
| 2085 |
rikkitikki |
<Primesauce> |
Sex is evil. You're all sinners. |
| 2084 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
mary todd lincoln's v looks like abe's beard |
| 2083 |
rikkitikki |
<ThatDeadDude> |
electric shocks to the nipples |
| 2082 |
rikkitikki |
<wcchandler> |
then i kinda hoped for some necro action |
| 2081 |
doctorsound |
<misspwn> |
i'm just snotty |
| 2080 |
doctorsound |
<ThatDeadDude> |
you can take the hoodie out of the hood, but you can't take the hood out of the hoodie |
| 2079 |
doctorsound |
<Camerongoogly> |
I put all my attributes into ass |
| 2078 |
Evin |
<misspwn> |
i vote finger but you can choose |
| 2077 |
Evin |
<ThatDeadDude> |
To be honest I wouldn't know what to do with it if I had such a thing |
| 2076 |
timotab |
<Evin> |
I doubt it'd hurt, you're very small. |
| 2075 |
fris_ |
<DSBot> |
I've lost my cat facts! |
| 2074 |
nerd|work |
<CityGirl> |
All the men I date are well endowed with penises the size of forearms. |
| 2073 |
ThatDeadDude |
<CityGirl> |
ThatDeadDude: i never made the glory hole connection |
| 2072 |
HoneyBadja |
<CityGirl> |
there's no Jesus, promise |
| 2071 |
||cw |
<HoneyBadja> |
godzilla in heels is kinda sexy |
| 2070 |
rikkitikki |
<Pb_ft> |
allofmywatrev2.tar.gz.rar.zip.mp3.avi.mid.txt |
| 2069 |
ThatDeadDude |
<Evin> |
platonic butthole tickling, sounds like a band. |
| 2068 |
rikkitikki |
<ThatDeadDude> |
Start with pinkie, and move up to bigger fingers |
| 2067 |
rikkitikki |
<wcchandler> |
yer right. i cried because i didn't have morning wood |
| 2066 |
||cw |
<CityGirl> |
All I can think about are wet hobos. |
| 2065 |
dolemite7 |
<Merlin00> |
is that really worth !grabbing? |
| 2064 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
i don't eat Loins Choice as much as i should |
| 2063 |
nerd|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I will chort your mommas port |
| 2062 |
lacrimosus |
<Camerongoogly> |
vagina is latin for "the part you stick your penis in" |
| 2061 |
HoneyBadja |
<jennn> |
I get hit in the face with balls all the time. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a 12 year old boy to do it to me. |
| 2060 |
jennn |
<lacri|work> |
this is creepy, I feel like monkers is going to go jerk it to 6 year old rikki |
| 2059 |
rikkitikki |
<jennn> |
man, all this reminiscing is making me miss my mom's electric scissors |
| 2058 |
ajwalsh44 |
<ThatDeadDude> |
for some reason I decided to be edgy and said "love is like trying to count how many marbles you can fit in your rectum" |
| 2057 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
sometimes it has to come out surgically. |
| 2056 |
memmek2k |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I once rowed my way out of a 9 parsec black hole in my intergalactic kayak in under 12 space minutes |
| 2055 |
funkyb |
<wcchandler> |
is semen/ejaculate kosher? |
| 2054 |
CityGirl |
<doctorsound> |
We just penis her, and then leave... |
| 2053 |
monkers |
<lacrimosus> |
man. I used to love raw potatoes. |
| 2052 |
timotab |
<herefromhouston> |
Haha, I have to search and dig through stuff at victorias secret |
| 2051 |
doctorsound |
<lacri|work> |
I have a 9" and I think that is probably more than I would ever want in an actual partner |
| 2050 |
rikkitikki |
<ThatDeadDude> |
he hasn't figured out penis either |
| 2049 |
monkers |
<CityGirl> |
rikkitikki: my instructor said, "your whole life you've been sucking it in, not any more, let it shake!" |
| 2048 |
Chank |
<rikkitikki> |
I enjoy the stalking of homoerotic scenarios |
| 2047 |
rikkitikki |
<doctorsound> |
my panties are so wet |
| 2046 |
dolemite7 |
<CityGirl> |
do you have any idea the things that would end up in your ass on a dare? |
| 2045 |
dolemite7 |
<doctorsound> |
jennn, I just want to see his pipe |
| 2044 |
funkyb |
<doctorsound> |
Is that like a 21st century "Did I stutter?" |
| 2043 |
doctorsound |
<Primesauce> |
I'M LITERALLY THE HITLER OF LOGIC |
| 2042 |
rikkitikki |
<monkers> |
hehe bootyclapasaurus |
| 2041 |
ThatDeadDude |
<||cw> |
aww yeah, creative fingering... |
| 2040 |
rikkitikki |
<ThatDeadDude> |
I think I'm similar ||cw. I don't use official fingering, that's for sure |
| 2039 |
monkers |
<HoneyBadja> |
ThatDeadDude: http://www.amazon.com/All Ware Stainless Pineapple De Corer/dp/B000GA53CO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1384795203&sr=8 2&keywords=pineapple+corer |
| 2038 |
lacrimosus |
<CityGirl> |
I use kittens. |
| 2037 |
monkers |
<lacrimosus> |
Primesauce you're wrong. monkers is always right. |
| 2036 |
Chank |
<HoneyBadja> |
i'm gonna use it's HDMI ports so hard... |
| 2035 |
rikkitikki |
<lacri|work> |
that's a lot of penis. |
| 2034 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
sounds like a bullshit pancake to me |
| 2033 |
jennn |
<HoneyBadja> |
i wish i knew why exactly houndstooth bothers me so much |
| 2032 |
timotab |
<jennn> |
Just watching those big dicks makes my jaw hurt. |
| 2031 |
timotab |
<jennn> |
I'm going to have Goofyman be my maid of honor |
| 2030 |
monkers |
<doctorsound> |
What a shitty quote. |
| 2029 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
Don't make me stab you in the sexguts. |
| 2028 |
rikkitikki |
<wcchandler> |
assholes are interesting |
| 2027 |
Evin |
<DrDinosaur> |
I'm gonna kiss you at the wedding when I marry your daughter, FortyGirl |
| 2026 |
timotab |
<CuddlyBadja> |
when i'm big spoon, i'm classy, i tuck it back |
| 2025 |
timotab |
<mojowo11> |
no idea what just happened, but i'm pretty sure i'd be able to trade this sense of fulfillment i feel for a blowjob or two on the free market |
| 2024 |
timotab |
<mojowo11> |
"got way too much butt stuff at the moment, willing to trade it 5:1 for some good doggy style" |
| 2023 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
you must take some big shits |
| 2022 |
Evin |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i miss big fat burrito |
| 2021 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
I hope I'm that hot when I'm her age |
| 2020 |
ThatDeadDude |
<AllBiznassGirl> |
ALL ASS, ALL THE TIME |
| 2019 |
poisomike87 |
<spotmonk> |
if she's cremated she probably takes up significantly less of it |
| 2018 |
funkyb |
<DrDinosaur> |
Dude, have you never studied alchemy? Making gold is easy. |
| 2017 |
Chank |
<dolemite7> |
YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE'S GODDAMN TACOS |
| 2016 |
timotab |
<copywriteher> |
I can't just pimp out my vagina like that |
| 2015 |
rikkitikki |
<jennn> |
My vagina is a shrine. Not all can worship there. |
| 2014 |
misspwn |
<jennn> |
doctorsound Buck up. Take it like a man. |
| 2013 |
misspwn |
<doctorsound> |
And I'm still sore! |
| 2012 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
hardee's burger patties taste like open booty |
| 2011 |
introspectr3 |
<SoCo_cpp_> |
with out that paperwork , she aint getting nothing but the noodle |
| 2010 |
lacrimosus |
<DrDinosaur> |
One time, an orphan asked for a second serving of gruel, so Google slapped the kid across his face, killed his dog in front of him, and told him that he could eat the dog. But didn't let him cook the dog. |
| 2009 |
lacrimosus |
<CityGirl> |
Maybe that's why my butt is big. I am absorbing other butts. |
| 2008 |
CityGirl |
<soupmeister> |
It's part of a new diet I'm trying. I am now a shittatarian. |
| 2007 |
anotherbofh |
<misspwn> |
it's fully finished down there |
| 2006 |
jennn |
<Camerongoogly> |
My ass doesn't get shoved in anyone's face. That's just an optical illusion caused by its horizon. |
| 2005 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce|phone> |
Got it. So, say "hey, stupid, you should give me your number or else I'm going to bird you." |
| 2004 |
memmek2k |
<Evin> |
sorry I wasn't an incompetent child. because my parents had me circumsized and fed me meat and declawed our cats. |
| 2003 |
timotab |
<GreetingsADM> |
Squats+running=death and diarhea |
| 2002 |
introspectr4 |
<spotmonk> |
you mean I could see naked girls by giving them laptops? |
| 2001 |
memmek2k |
<Primesaws> |
Sometimes I think I might talk about banging dudes a bit too much. |
| 2000 |
Omega037 |
<monkers> |
hah i put out some wet food for the cats, and cleo didn't come and i was like "oh shit cleo died". but she just got stuck in a closet. \o/ |
| 1999 |
||cw2 |
<ep_net> |
is that when everyone puts on a blindfold and you start kissing and whatever sex the person you liked kissing the most is the one you are attracted to? |
| 1998 |
rikkitikki |
<spotmonk> |
i wanted to hate fuck the fuck out of her |
| 1997 |
Merlin00 |
<ramocles> |
so, for those of you who still think i'm alive... consider me fucking dead. i'm disowning reddit stlouis. |
| 1996 |
Merlin00 |
<ramocles> |
i live alone, and i have a gun. the area i live in is pretty safe. i think more about using on myself than anyone else |
| 1995 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
Eat it, violate it, bury it, burn it |
| 1994 |
monkers |
<ramocles> |
because in the end, all humans die, indentured in the hive |
| 1993 |
rikkitikki |
<ep_net__> |
I could fill rikkitikki with beer and drink her and probably only be buzzed |
| 1992 |
rikkitikki |
<HoneyBadja> |
but prefer a warm pink center |
| 1991 |
rikkitikki |
<CityGirl> |
more like bent over in the woods |
| 1990 |
rikkitikki |
<CityGirl> |
I feel like there are easier ways to hump |
| 1989 |
funkyb |
<wcchandler> |
you're a good whore if you can walk the streets during the day |
| 1988 |
funkyb |
<dolemite7> |
the party don't stop until EVERYONE'S pregnant |
| 1987 |
funkyb |
<res0> |
I wonder how many people who consider killing animals for food to be murder don't see abortion as murder either |
| 1986 |
timotab |
<CuckooGirl> |
I'm not advocating using everyone's toothbrush, but in a pinch if I have sex with you, i will use your toothbrush |
| 1985 |
timotab |
<CuckooGirl> |
your wife's vagina is festering all day |
| 1984 |
doctorsnipe |
<wccanary> |
i'm not really a sex hungry man whore who talks inappropriately to chicks in here... it's DrDickcissel's fault |
| 1983 |
EviningGrosbeak |
<misspwn> |
i'm like a succubus that when the money pit is dry it's time to move on to greener pastures |
| 1982 |
funkyb |
<ThatDrongo> |
Yeah jeez DeliriumTremens, screwing even strip clubs up |
| 1981 |
dolemite7 |
<Merlin00> |
DeliriumTremens, I'll sell you some for $150 per 1/2 quart |
| 1980 |
||cw |
<GreetingsADM> |
You could probably have sex on top of a tortoise and they wouldn't mind |
| 1979 |
nerddtvg |
<anotherbofh> |
The four of us can watch their faces go from "Goddamit, busting another halloween party" to "Who the fuck calls the cops on the chess nerds?" |
| 1978 |
dolemite7 |
<ramocles> |
you can't truly watch My Little Pony unless you have a black dildo in your ass. |
| 1977 |
ramocles |
<dolemite7> |
fuckin billy barty |
| 1976 |
FalseProphet |
<Camerongoogly> |
With handies, the other important thing is to not give the penis an Indian burn |
| 1975 |
Omega037 |
<Camerongoogly> |
Evin, if I was to suck dicks, I'd be awesome at it. I don't do things halfway |
| 1974 |
rikkitikki |
<monkers> |
ill rape you. |
| 1973 |
||cw |
<monkers> |
YOU ARE ORGANIC MATTER CAPABLE OF A LIMITED SET OF FUNCTIONS. I LOVE YOU SON. |
| 1972 |
Notbrad |
<fris_> |
Quinton the querier curiously queries for queers |
| 1971 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound> |
You can go see Baldknobbers, that's kinda like the bunny ranch. |
| 1970 |
rikkitikki |
<ramocles> |
the admonishing pedoman |
| 1969 |
rikkitikki |
<SoCo_cpp_> |
supporting characters, like that chick trying to figure out what she is supposed to do while the other chick in the threesome porn is getting banged. |
| 1968 |
doctorsound |
<Lapper> |
"My kink is tiny rocks." |
| 1967 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Rule 1) Don't stab an asshole. |
| 1966 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
i will throw eggs at people who come at midnight |
| 1965 |
DeliriumTremens |
<wcchandler> |
oh god... my wife had period shit the other day. stained the bowl and damn near clogged the pipe. had to double flush it |
| 1964 |
ramocles |
<DeliriumTremens> |
wcchandler has a small penis |
| 1963 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
Stank n Skank: Famous for Slutburgers |
| 1962 |
rikkitikki |
<h0neybadger> |
tried sweet love once, with a donut, glazed sugar is sharper than it appears |
| 1961 |
rikkitikki |
<h0neybadger> |
i prefer sour love |
| 1960 |
rikkitikki |
<Chank> |
ill give you some "milkrings" |
| 1959 |
rikkitikki |
<h0neybadger> |
i prefer "cock pocket" over penis pouch |
| 1958 |
rikkitikki |
<misspwn> |
i call that the penis pouch |
| 1957 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
So it feels like I'm wearin' nothin' at all. Nothin' at all. NOTHIN AT ALL! /flanders |
| 1956 |
funkyb |
<ramocles> |
i'm much worse than anyone gives me credit for |
| 1955 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
i am pretty sure i ate bugs and assholes fried with bananas |
| 1954 |
lacrimosus |
<jennn> |
I spent extra money on a really pretty vagina but you couldn't tell at all after I shoved the face through it. |
| 1953 |
rikkitikki |
<CityGirl> |
so many vaginas |
| 1952 |
rikkitikki |
<CityGirl> |
I should have seen that one coming |
| 1951 |
rikkitikki |
<CityGirl> |
I feel like ginger on the labia would be potentially uncomfortable |
| 1950 |
funkyb |
<Merlin00> |
another option is to just eat a dick |
| 1949 |
funkyb |
<Evin> |
I've got everything hair |
| 1948 |
memmek2k |
<Evin> |
I thought buttsex was like a fine wine, it got better with age and from time to time you have to rotate. |
| 1947 |
CityGirl |
<memmek2k> |
there will always be time for Evin and I to have buttsex |
| 1946 |
memmek2k |
<CityGirl> |
There's still time for you and Evin to have butt sex. |
| 1945 |
bbbeluga |
<DeliriumTremens> |
a guy can only play so much transformers before his throat hurts from talking like megatron |
| 1944 |
Chank |
<CityGirl> |
DEBAUCHERY FOR THE WIN! |
| 1943 |
Evin |
<jennn> |
It's not until I put it between my legs that it became so gross. |
| 1942 |
dolemite7 |
<wcchandler> |
fleshlights and blues clues |
| 1941 |
||cw |
<SoCo_cpp_> |
Damn, I meant to rub a drier sheet on my shirt at lunch....im so staticy |
| 1940 |
DeliriumTremens |
<jennn> |
seriously though, Pan is like the dream man. It combines my love of men and goats into one fuckable thing. |
| 1939 |
nerddtvg |
<Evin> |
so it wasn't a god, it was just a bull. a sexy, sexy white bull. |
| 1938 |
Merlin01 |
<jennn> |
some guys would enjoy watching their wives mate with a bull |
| 1937 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga_> |
i have no idea what youre talking about but i really want to say "your mom wasnt complaining last night" |
| 1936 |
ThatDeadDude_ |
<Primesauce> |
I want to respond with "add more yeast" to any relationship advice requests I get from now on. |
| 1935 |
||cw |
<res0> |
I'm really into cycling... does that make me a pedal phile? |
| 1934 |
TheGodComplex |
<||cw> |
Chank's the fastest grab around! |
| 1933 |
Chank |
<rikkitikki> |
Chank: well I already orgasmed today so I'm gonna go ahead and say no |
| 1932 |
DeliriumTremens |
<res0> |
hey baby, how about you and me terminate ports in the bedroom tonight |
| 1931 |
Notbrad |
<spotmonk> |
sometimes living next to the dog park in my apartment complexes really throws of my wanking abilities, but I'm almost to a point where I can come on command |
| 1930 |
nerddtvg |
<ThatDeadDude> |
his penis is dog shy |
| 1929 |
timotab |
<ThatDeadDude> |
say you were polishing it and made a mistake |
| 1928 |
DeliriumTremens |
<nerddtvg> |
lacri|work, if there are people going to be there I'll go and fill in your place |
| 1927 |
timotab |
<bundtkate> |
I could turn El Dubb into a cape were I there murdery skin y type. But, alas, I am not. |
| 1926 |
ThatDeadDude |
<Primesauce> |
I get yelled at when we talk about blumpkins |
| 1925 |
timotab |
<bundtkate> |
I feel like boning while pooping would be difficult. Or at least messy. |
| 1924 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce> |
Cannibalism isn't nearly as fun without boning each other. |
| 1923 |
timotab |
<bundtkate> |
Like, people bone and then eat each other? I think there were Craigslist ads for that in Germany ... |
| 1922 |
nerddtvg |
<ThatDeadDude> |
I wonder if there have ever been cannibalism "orgies" |
| 1921 |
nerddtvg |
<bundtkate> |
Big Pharma wants everyone to have ALL THE BONERS! |
| 1920 |
||cw |
<wcchandler> |
your mom is skipped because of odd shaped regional zones... |
| 1919 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
I eat meat. and nuts. and meat. |
| 1918 |
DeliriumTremens |
<fris> |
my current phone is 4 years old now. older than most 3 year old kids |
| 1917 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
DeliriumTremens: you taste like shit! |
| 1916 |
Notbrad |
<||cw> |
boobytrap backwards is partyboob. |
| 1915 |
timotab |
<Chank> |
i want some fiber |
| 1914 |
nerddtvg |
<axe9|work> |
lol that was an awesome your mom: |
| 1913 |
ThatDeadDude |
<jennn> |
I miss the pole. |
| 1912 |
ThatDeadDude |
<||cw> |
it seems longer because corn |
| 1911 |
dolemite7 |
<rikkitikki> |
is that... should I grab that |
| 1910 |
CityGirl |
<memmek2k> |
I'm pretty sure most of those beers are from El Dubb's penis. |
| 1909 |
CityGirl |
<memmek2k> |
I feel like I should comment that I appreciate El Dubb's penis |
| 1908 |
nerddtvg |
<DrDinosaur> |
I understand all penises. |
| 1907 |
nerddtvg |
<Ryxeria> |
I don't want to understand penises, and yet I do |
| 1906 |
timotab |
<El Dubb> |
it was over 12 inches long and about 5 inches in diameter |
| 1905 |
dolemite7 |
<nerd|work> |
meeting time, this load will have to wait |
| 1904 |
timotab |
<axe9|work> |
EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND MEEE |
| 1903 |
Chankster^ |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i need drywall tape balls |
| 1902 |
dolemite7 |
<secom> |
I WOULD RATHER YOU ECHO WHAT I SAID THAN THE NONSENSE BABBLE |
| 1901 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
HEY BUDDY, TURN THE PORN CRANK, WILLYA |
| 1900 |
timotab |
<rikkiPad> |
MENSTRUATION |
| 1899 |
nerd|work |
<FalseProphet> |
nerd|work, come over here and I'll make you my gay of the day |
| 1898 |
||cw |
<timotab> |
if it's the wrong shape and ruins your SIM, would it be a template of doom? |
| 1897 |
DeliriumTremens |
<gzg> |
Too girth follows, but it's really not that bad for how much I eat and don't move. |
| 1896 |
memmek2k |
<Evin> |
well we're suppose to come after the Ds, so. |
| 1895 |
timotab |
<spif> |
depends |
| 1894 |
timotab |
<dragon^> |
We erect large pyramids on christmas |
| 1893 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
Also I don't have trouble of getting semen all over when I jack it |
| 1892 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
do left handed people masturbate like they write? like...having to curve their arm all weird like a snail shell so they don't get semen all over? |
| 1891 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
aint no body got time for a sweaty asscrack |
| 1890 |
timotab |
<CityGirl> |
My breasts make men happy, not shudder! |
| 1889 |
dolemite7 |
<rikkitikki> |
I don't know if I've ever had tang, honestly |
| 1888 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
I'm not sure how I feel about being a penis whisperer. |
| 1887 |
spif |
<dolemite7> |
random pubes on your desk at work |
| 1886 |
timotab |
<DopePope> |
She really should have gotten that bleeding vagina checked out |
| 1885 |
nerd|work |
<dolemite7> |
Chankiana Jones and the Search for Penis |
| 1884 |
Chank |
<Notbrad|work> |
i penis myself all day long |
| 1883 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Killsudo> |
fuck my fingers |
| 1882 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
KILL KILL KILL |
| 1881 |
||cw |
<spif> |
Merlin00: moral of the story, don't have friends |
| 1880 |
DeliriumTremens |
<lacri|work> |
I thought you were meaning the other bits |
| 1879 |
rikkitikki |
<soupmeister> |
Fuck me in the ass. |
| 1878 |
Chank |
<spotmonk> |
I'm just squirrel looking for a nut |
| 1877 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
go to Tropical Liquers and pick up skanky, questionably aged chicks |
| 1876 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
your face isn't kosher |
| 1874 |
timotab |
<lacri|work> |
Ahem that is a slightly long one.... but I'll go for it. |
| 1873 |
lacri|work |
<spotmonk> |
if I'm not getting a blowjob in the car first date, there isn't a second date |
| 1872 |
lacri|work |
<Evin> |
it's not like she's that choosy, she's from the internet. |
| 1871 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CluelessGirl> |
I was searching Chinese Lady Boy thinking I would get fashion blogs and got porn. |
| 1870 |
DeliriumTremens |
<||cw> |
isn't that what the perineum is for? keeping the ports separated? |
| 1869 |
CityGirl |
<fris_> |
penis timing is crucial |
| 1868 |
||cw2 |
<fris_> |
yes i'll be "homebrewing" some brown trouts after chili tomorrow |
| 1867 |
lacrimosus |
<El Dubb> |
CityGirl kisses dicks! |
| 1866 |
||cw |
<spotmonk> |
no. I want her to hit my balls with a stick |
| 1865 |
spotmonk |
<CityGirl> |
I've had the Mormon boys a few times, too. |
| 1864 |
Chank |
<CityGirl> |
no penis for you timotab |
| 1863 |
memmek2k |
<Notbrad|work> |
can i penis successfully |
| 1862 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
yum yum bumble bee tuna, i like bumble bee bumble bee tuna |
| 1861 |
Omega037 |
<spotmonk> |
penis |
| 1860 |
funkyb |
<spotmonk> |
I would eat Jennn's face off |
| 1859 |
Chank |
<spotmonk> |
well... I don't like buttstuff unless it's done to me... so maybe? |
| 1858 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
97 doublesided dildos in my ass |
| 1857 |
bbbeluga |
<anotherbofh> |
funkyb: having a couple bits to push the ol' handjob through are essential |
| 1856 |
dolemite7 |
<spotmonk> |
I feel like at some point you have to sleep with your mother just so you can see why everyone else is into it |
| 1855 |
lacri|work |
<spotmonk> |
I inserted a few minutes of useless drivel into your mom last night |
| 1854 |
funkyb |
<entangledphoton> |
I digged holes |
| 1853 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
i have a hose |
| 1852 |
doctorwork |
<funkyb> |
ah yes, the old white van barney costume scam |
| 1851 |
dolemite7 |
<Evin> |
I mean, when she can't do the remote ram install, she has to do one in person. |
| 1850 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
I'LL WEAR *YOU* AS PANTS |
| 1849 |
rikkitikki |
<Evin> |
I think dawn's planning to do things to my head. |
| 1848 |
dolemite7 |
<DrDinosaur> |
The secret lizard illuminati is the only thing that keeps the comets away. |
| 1847 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Yeah, how many people have mentioned "throbbing donkey dicks" huh? DID YOU SEARCH FOR THAT? |
| 1846 |
funkyb |
<Chank> |
DeliriumTremens: would not make a good stay at home mom |
| 1845 |
Omega037 |
<spotmonk> |
baby jesus' vagina |
| 1844 |
dolemite7 |
<jennn> |
Yours are very pretty CityGirl. I just like the bigger bushier kind is all. |
| 1843 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
what is a toothbrush? |
| 1842 |
Evin |
<rikkiPad> |
CROTCH IT |
| 1841 |
||cw |
<axe9|work> |
I didn't prefer my filet sauced though.... |
| 1840 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Katty> |
timotab: how did bath time go last night? |
| 1839 |
DeliriumTremens |
<wcchandler> |
if it's too big your arm gets worn out quick |
| 1838 |
Omega037 |
<Evin> |
You just have to penis correctly. |
| 1837 |
bbbeluga |
<Omega037> |
to get to the actual pole |
| 1836 |
El |
<Notbrad> |
how do you know when its time to penis |
| 1835 |
CityGirl |
<El Dubb> |
Evin got all of the penis |
| 1834 |
Evin |
<||cw> |
it's basically 5 seconds and it's over, with a huge mess |
| 1833 |
timotab |
<Evin> |
memmek2k is barely responsible enough to dress himself, let's not overburden the guy. |
| 1832 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
you can suck my halloweiner! |
| 1831 |
bbbeluga |
<doctorsound> |
Guzzling Cummer? |
| 1830 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
fuck it, I'll take it again |
| 1829 |
DeliriumTremens |
<copywriteher> |
YOU'RE ALL INVITED TO THE GANG BANG |
| 1828 |
DeliriumTremens |
<jerkmonk> |
with a face like that he's just looking for a dick in h is mouth |
| 1827 |
misspwn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
why not both?> |
| 1826 |
DeliriumTremens |
<DrDinosaur> |
Aww, dag! I missed the weiner patrol?! |
| 1825 |
doctorsound |
<bbbeluga> |
also, i totally bat eyes at nipping. I can't help it. I am sorry. |
| 1824 |
entangled|home |
<bbbeluga> |
OMG i have that hole right now! |
| 1823 |
doctorsound |
<butterscotch> |
fuck that. i'm out. |
| 1822 |
memmek2k |
<copywriteher> |
I need to get laid |
| 1821 |
DeliriumTremens |
<memmek2k> |
I know, I need to. I want to lift your bar so bad. |
| 1820 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
5 ball play eh |
| 1819 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I once caught the linnens on fire |
| 1818 |
entangledphoton_ |
<Evin> |
doesn't matter; hauled stuff? |
| 1817 |
CityGirl |
<Evin> |
Goat semen is probably not all that healthy. |
| 1816 |
dolemite7 |
<monkers> |
wait you put your dick through a hole? |
| 1815 |
spif |
<Tyler> |
I thought that read penis, either way, same concept. |
| 1814 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
so I can sell all the grandmas |
| 1813 |
rikkitikki |
<spotmonk> |
he got 5 guys to fuck him for lunch? |
| 1812 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
DT's hernia, now in two convenient locations; Manchester and 141 and Page and Lindbergh to better serve you! |
| 1811 |
bunkfy |
<DeliriumTremens> |
because fuck emacs |
| 1810 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
I store all kinds of stuff in your mom's trunk. |
| 1809 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
alright, this one was in texas so I can't really go back for his blood. but maybe next time. |
| 1808 |
rikkitikki |
<timotab> |
like a whore in an elevator? |
| 1807 |
lacri|work |
<spotmonk> |
your asshole bleach job makes you look old? |
| 1806 |
rikkitikki |
<dolemite7> |
actually, my hair was in the dog's bowel this weekend. |
| 1805 |
entangledphoton |
<rikkitikki> |
As a grungy butthole, I am offended |
| 1804 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
KNOW WHEN TO SCROTUM |
| 1803 |
Chank |
<jennn> |
Foreskin is so complicated. |
| 1802 |
rikkitikki |
<Chank> |
its just a never ending stream |
| 1801 |
Chank |
<jennn> |
I know how to covertly finger myself. |
| 1800 |
Chank |
<jennn> |
Would it be bad to stick my finger down my underwear to see if my period has started then wipe my finger on the bus seat? I don't want to enter the gross bathroom. |
| 1799 |
Chank |
<jennn> |
I just had to use a panty liner as a kleenex. |
| 1798 |
Chank |
<jennn> |
I prefer clean butt sex or none at all. |
| 1797 |
Chank |
<jennn> |
Getting poked in the butt will probably feel better than this |
| 1796 |
dolemite7 |
<entangledphoton> |
I always expect poop |
| 1795 |
entangledphoton |
<memmek2k> |
aw yiss, penis beer |
| 1794 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
GTL, brah |
| 1793 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
Also I'll sleep with it naked if you chip in another $50 |
| 1792 |
timotab |
<soupmeister> |
"Bent Furby"..... isn't that a type of gay? |
| 1791 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
soup is coming |
| 1790 |
funkyb |
<wcchandler> |
memmek2k: if it helps, one of the first animals I killed were a goat |
| 1789 |
dolemite7 |
<rikkitikki> |
Even if I'm high I doubt I could eat more than one |
| 1788 |
phonemonk |
<bbbeluga> |
i think most all boobs are great |
| 1787 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
Apparently the star stitch causes a lot more shrinkage than I expected |
| 1786 |
dolemite7 |
<CityGirl> |
Does anyone have a butt plug they aren't using? |
| 1785 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
well girls dont get boners. we are lucky that way. no one has to know we are horny. |
| 1784 |
timotab |
<lacri|work> |
there was no hair! it was like deli meat slices even, but it was not good tasting. |
| 1783 |
dolemite7 |
<memmek2k> |
might be time for some extra mobility wrist work |
| 1782 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i have a wooden one too |
| 1781 |
Chank |
<misspwn> |
i found dt's porn stash and made comments on it |
| 1780 |
Chank |
<wcchandler> |
and i offcially announce i have a 10 inch penis... doesn't make it real |
| 1779 |
timotab |
<wcchandler> |
wow. pegging is nice... |
| 1778 |
timotab |
<memmek2k> |
til wcchandler is into underage women and overage men |
| 1777 |
entangledphoton |
<DeliriumTremens> |
and yes, i have a bit for boring said hole |
| 1776 |
spif |
<ConXtion> |
Just some solid enema action and you're good to go. |
| 1775 |
spif |
<Evin> |
Oh, just BJs and handys? |
| 1774 |
spif |
<doctorsound> |
We can put our ballrubbing video online! |
| 1773 |
timotab |
<Evin> |
look doctorsound, if we have to have a little gay sex to get dawn on board, then that's what we've got to do. |
| 1772 |
jerkmonk |
<copywriteher> |
YOU GET THAT KID OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW |
| 1771 |
jerkmonk |
<copywriteher> |
I'M HURR FOR THE ORAGUY |
| 1770 |
jerkmonk |
<copywriteher> |
penis is pretty rad |
| 1769 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
boobs are awesome |
| 1768 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
we probably shouldnt have made out so much |
| 1767 |
timotab |
<doctorsound> |
*cover my wang in provel, and suck it off |
| 1766 |
spif |
<studlybro> |
you all like AWWww im so sorry, you must be insane heres a butter roll |
| 1765 |
misspwn |
<monkers> |
ok im gay |
| 1764 |
doctorsound |
<Camerongoogly> |
prison wine... does things to a man |
| 1763 |
dolemite8 |
<misspwn> |
i'd prefer it to be you nerd|work than some homeless guy |
| 1762 |
Pb_ft |
<memmek2k> |
Pb_ft: I WAS BOMBING YOUR MOM WITH MY AIRPLANE |
| 1761 |
ramocles |
<Ryxeria> |
Mark my words, I will touch it. |
| 1760 |
jennn |
<DrDinosaur> |
For some reason, I always feel worse after Ryxeria masturbates. |
| 1759 |
Chank |
<misspwn> |
i don't care if he's smaller |
| 1758 |
ramocles |
<entangledphoton|> |
I would like to try a horse |
| 1757 |
memmek2k |
<doctorwork> |
He's like the Pol Pot of Hitlers |
| 1756 |
soupmeister |
<doctorwork> |
I can't remember if I can actually fit my hand in it though. |
| 1755 |
Chank |
<doctorwork> |
New from Playtex, the rikkiPad. Absorbent and so kawaii. Now in fun lolita print! |
| 1754 |
funkyb |
<doctorwork> |
I'm already damaged goods |
| 1753 |
timotab |
<entangled|home> |
timotab, I am like the Mary Katherine Gallagher of grundle smelling |
| 1752 |
memmek2k |
<bbbeluga> |
I also like to give bjs which I heard is pretty rare. |
| 1751 |
dolemite9 |
<jennn> |
You're nothing but a slanty eyed (with double lid) cupcake tease and my mouth is not happy! |
| 1750 |
timotab |
<soupmeister> |
But it's not like a sub or something, it's usually tiny. |
| 1749 |
rikkitikki |
<Katty> |
NO ONE SAY PENIS |
| 1748 |
ramocles |
<dolemite8> |
Taint Louis, the mid west's premiere taint enthusiasts convention |
| 1747 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
i have been. i have strange features |
| 1746 |
ramocles |
<Primesauce> |
It's far better with memmek2k grabbing it. |
| 1745 |
memmek2k |
<Primesauce> |
The only thing better than Sleepless in Seattle is cuddling with memmek2k |
| 1744 |
Chank |
<wcchandler> |
hmm... "temple of doom" that will now be the nickname of my wife's vagina when menstruating |
| 1743 |
misspwn |
<wcchandler> |
it's like a tsunami it doesn't come all at once, it's slow. |
| 1742 |
Omega037 |
<bbbeluga> |
but HOLY COW did i see a lot of vagina |
| 1741 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
its a white stain |
| 1740 |
Evin |
<CityGirl> |
bbbeluga will you touch El Dubb's weiner? |
| 1739 |
timotab |
<entangled|home> |
When my grundle is all sweaty you will be sorry, timotab |
| 1738 |
dolemite8 |
<ramocles> |
I thought I hired you to fix computers, not to dance around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots! |
| 1737 |
memmek2k |
<DrDinosaur> |
"Now, nephews, this video is going to teach you everything you need to know about getting the ladies. Step one: Call them 'the ladies,' cause bitches love being called ladies." |
| 1736 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
CityGirl, you capitalist pig dogs will learn from your mistakes one day! |
| 1735 |
spif |
<lacri|work> |
a sexual cloud. |
| 1734 |
spif |
<DrDinosaur> |
big ass cloud |
| 1733 |
doctorwork |
<dolemite8> |
Nutmeg In Chains is one of the best bands of the 90's |
| 1732 |
timotab |
<lacri|work> |
sounds like a good way to get some twigs in your hooha |
| 1731 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
nite entangled! thanks for the pic |
| 1730 |
Omega037 |
<countrymonk> |
I'm a poser |
| 1729 |
Omega037 |
<CityGirl> |
People, be warned, if you put your ass in my face, I will touch it. |
| 1728 |
timotab |
<copywriteher> |
that's why he is supposed to hit my cervix I suppose. |
| 1727 |
Chank |
<copywriteher> |
HIT MY CERVIX. |
| 1726 |
jennn |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Sometimes, you just need a good drilling yourself. |
| 1725 |
jennn |
<lacri|work> |
why would i get a dude to do my drilling for me?! |
| 1724 |
ramocles |
<doctorwork> |
Sorry, we forgot about kitkatkaytee's penis |
| 1723 |
lacri|work |
<doctorwork> |
just rub your junk on the bottom of the keyboard tray |
| 1722 |
doctorwork |
<Evin> |
doctorwork has the prettiest boners. |
| 1721 |
memmek2k |
<doctorwork> |
I DON'T WANT YOU TO DRINK ME |
| 1720 |
timotab |
<DawnIsreal> |
that's... quite a gap for all your stuff |
| 1719 |
Omega037 |
<DawnIsreal> |
are you saying his penis is hostile? |
| 1718 |
spif |
<CityHen> |
Sorry, no penis today. |
| 1717 |
Pb_ft |
<||cw> |
y'all need jesus |
| 1716 |
Chank |
<Evin> |
Butt peeing is entirely unsexual. |
| 1715 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
The other ones always feel too greasy |
| 1714 |
ramocles |
<doctorwork> |
Make sure you get those anal pleats right |
| 1713 |
memmek2k |
<Ryxeria> |
Penises are just silly |
| 1712 |
lacrimosus |
<CityGirl> |
Evin doesn't like bjs. |
| 1711 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
I mean, let's be for real, bj's are not the excitement of a girl's life |
| 1710 |
ramocles |
<dolemite8> |
OIL UP AND FUCK |
| 1709 |
memmek2k |
<axe9|meeting> |
memmek2k: 10/10 would bone |
| 1708 |
axe9|meeting |
<jennn> |
buttsex is so much prep work though |
| 1707 |
ramocles |
<rikkitikki> |
that's a biggun |
| 1706 |
memmek2k |
<||cw> |
I don't need to happy fun shit at work |
| 1705 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
we got a 4pack of old english |
| 1704 |
axe9|work |
<Omega037> |
well, toilet time is MY time |
| 1703 |
timotab |
<kitkatkaytee> |
I've been hanging out with soupmeister way too long. |
| 1702 |
dolemite8 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i cant stop pooping |
| 1701 |
memmek2k |
<doctorwork> |
Evin, you should take tips from spotmonk |
| 1700 |
Chank |
<memmek2k> |
jennn: if you bought the swiffer sander, and duct taped a vibrator to it, you'd have a jury rigged sander |
| 1699 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton> |
it's a bunch of fat topless guys |
| 1698 |
entangled|home |
<Evin> |
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. |
| 1697 |
entangledphoton |
<lacri|work> |
I will be asleep all night and will leave the door unlocked if you would like to take care of that entangledphoton |
| 1696 |
memmek2k |
<jennn> |
doctorwork: I have a clit and it kind of works. |
| 1695 |
memmek2k |
<Evin> |
especially the ones with piercings. it's like LOOK AT IT, LOOK AT ME, LOOK DAMN IT. |
| 1694 |
spif |
<ramocles> |
wcchandler is a pedo!! |
| 1693 |
spif |
<Evin> |
yeah, she requires at least 4 5 drinks, pizza and sunflowers. |
| 1692 |
memmek2k |
<copywriteher> |
I'll eagerly spread these lips for pizza |
| 1691 |
DeliriumTremens |
<ramocles> |
if you don't drink, you're a boring cunt and all your stories suck |
| 1690 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite8> |
PICK UP STICKS AND SIZZURP |
| 1689 |
memmek2k |
<Evin> |
FUCK YOU DOCTORWORK |
| 1688 |
memmek2k |
<dolemite8> |
IT'S A JAKE OFF |
| 1687 |
ramocles |
<DeliriumTremens> |
and now they can eat AT MINIMUM a small dumptrucks worth of flaccid donkey dicks. |
| 1686 |
ramocles |
<Sammer> |
I get enough taint at home. |
| 1685 |
spif |
<bbbeluga> |
just throwin out my quotes timo? That might be my only quote |
| 1684 |
Chank |
<||cw> |
everyone has their first time |
| 1683 |
ramocles |
<timotab> |
The pork sword of ramocles |
| 1682 |
DrDinosaur |
<DeliriumTremens> |
When your anus is full of regret, the game of gay chicken has gone too far. |
| 1681 |
nerd|work |
<wcchandler> |
"i rub my dick on expensive shit. i rub my dick on expensive shit" "it's like an angel peed in my mouth" |
| 1680 |
timotab |
<doctorsound> |
You Obviously Like Owls |
| 1679 |
timotab |
<bbbeluga> |
timo, you are the best! |
| 1678 |
memmek2k |
<El Dubb> |
Ryxeria, get in here |
| 1677 |
dolemite8 |
<CityNotAGirl> |
I'm totally all about the anal. |
| 1676 |
dolemite8 |
<||cw> |
slingers will fix what ails you, or give you a new ailment, either way, you won't be the same after! |
| 1675 |
ramocles |
<spotmonk> |
you've seen the girls I date.. and I still won't microwave tuna |
| 1674 |
memmek2k |
<jennn> |
Jews don't turn the women on during sex though so it's all good. |
| 1673 |
doctorwork |
<Omega037> |
reform means that your gay, female rabbi tells you its fine to eat bacon while driving on saturday |
| 1672 |
DeliriumTremens |
<jennn> |
axe it's kind of impressive |
| 1671 |
Merlin00 |
<derpa> |
but not as gay as me |
| 1669 |
DeliriumTremens |
<ramocles> |
i'm building a blowjob robot |
| 1668 |
Evin |
<CityGirl> |
I really do not understand tentacle porn |
| 1667 |
memmek2k |
<El Dubb> |
I bust my carb load once a week. I likes it |
| 1666 |
memmek2k |
<Evin> |
no, I know she's not 15. That's actually more ideal, less prison time. |
| 1665 |
ramocles |
<jennn> |
You going to milk them axe? Milk the milk out of them baby! |
| 1664 |
ramocles |
<jennn> |
axe9|work I want the small ones. Big ones are too much to handle. |
| 1663 |
memmek2k |
<copywriteher> |
tis just how I look |
| 1662 |
entangledphoton |
<girk|work> |
Why can't we all just have cloacas? Birds and frogs got this figured out |
| 1661 |
ramocles |
<Evin> |
I typically need a penis for a lot of things. |
| 1660 |
ramocles |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Evin typically needs a penis for that. |
| 1659 |
memmek2k |
<ramocles> |
i would, but i don't know what you look like, and i'm not a gambler |
| 1658 |
DeliriumTremens |
<copywriteher> |
stop being a little bitch and eat some peanut butter |
| 1657 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite8> |
i can't get "FROZEN MIXED VEGETABLE COCKS" out of my head |
| 1656 |
memmek2k |
<doctorwork> |
Actually, this is perfect, if we teach all the old people how to twerk, then the young people won't do it. They'll instantly become more attractive, I can inseminate them all, and then my spawns can take over the universe! |
| 1655 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
I'm just going to follow her around and wank in the bushes |
| 1654 |
ramocles |
<CreveCoeurChx> |
That would mean blowing a lot of people. |
| 1653 |
dolemite8 |
<doctorwork> |
Low flow urinals: All the great smells of a Porta Potty, without any of the fun associated with being outside. |
| 1652 |
doctorwork |
<wcchandler> |
tell that to my krokodile addiction |
| 1651 |
memmek2k |
<DeliriumTremens> |
feminism is silly, imos sucks, its called PANERA bread, exercise and fitness is dumb, the county is better than the city, windows 8 is better than windows 7, MrHacks isn't such a bad guy |
| 1650 |
Primesauce |
<lacrimosus> |
100 penises is too much, even for me |
| 1649 |
entangledphoton |
<Evin> |
Just because I tongued doctorsound's anus when he was black out drunk ONE TIME doesn't make me gay. |
| 1648 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
when they perfect it and really good equipment fits in my pocket without looking like a robot boner, then i'll try again |
| 1647 |
spif |
<Evin> |
doctorsound always wants 5 guys, that manslut |
| 1646 |
lacri|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
not by the skin of my tainty taint taint |
| 1645 |
DeliriumTremens |
<ramocles> |
that dude has more mood swings than a playground at a mental institute |
| 1644 |
Merlin00 |
<Cameronclinicy> |
Without being able to lay hands on you, I can't offer a ton of advice |
| 1643 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton|> |
curtsying is always the best option |
| 1642 |
spif |
<lacri|work> |
i agree with spif. this whole having feels thing is bullshit |
| 1641 |
dolemite8 |
<wcchandler> |
for culture i go to /r/aryanbrotherhood |
| 1640 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
thanks for lookin at my shorts |
| 1639 |
doctorsound |
<Evin> |
Just because I made out with primesauce one time doesn't make me gay. |
| 1638 |
lacri|work |
<doctorwork> |
Also, Obama got a *black* dog. Coincidence? Or proof that Obama is a white hating racist muslim Kenyan? |
| 1637 |
ramocles |
<girk|work> |
"A day in the life of a taint" |
| 1636 |
dolemite8 |
<ramocles> |
Taint Hurtin' apply directly to the taint |
| 1635 |
dolemite8 |
<memmek2k> |
and nuts make everything better anyway |
| 1634 |
DeliriumTremens |
<nerd|work> |
DeliriumTremens: I wasn't! I was shitting on the laptop :D |
| 1633 |
lacri|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
People doing their jobs doesn't give me a boner. |
| 1632 |
Chank |
<dolemite7> |
Sorry Chank, i haven't seen my penis around. |
| 1631 |
memmek2k |
<copywriteher> |
because our genitalia goes together like Peanut butter and jelly. |
| 1630 |
memmek2k |
<littlepanda> |
I'm a connosieur of nut butters |
| 1629 |
dolemite8 |
<Chank> |
ITS A DIFFERENT UNIT |
| 1628 |
ramocles |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The all new Grundle Guard Banana Hammock with patented Protaint Technology. |
| 1627 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work> |
Dudes skateboarding on weiner dogs |
| 1626 |
jennn |
<lacri_work> |
you wouldn't know the difference between an o ring and an o face. |
| 1625 |
ramocles |
<Evin> |
fucking asians, believe in 4 armed gods, don't believe in having lunch after like 1:30. |
| 1624 |
Chank |
<DeliriumTremens> |
ramocles: awww, i thought you were going to take on the persona of a salty sea captain and tell tales of the deep |
| 1623 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Camerongoogly> |
I'd rather be less special, and more laid. |
| 1622 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bbbeluga> |
oh, i want to get it in. |
| 1621 |
timotab |
<memmek2k> |
but mixed grip works as well |
| 1620 |
timotab |
<Camerongoogly> |
next deadlift day isn't until the weekend, and I can always do mixed grip |
| 1619 |
anotherbofh |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'll get to smell that next week! |
| 1618 |
ramocles |
<monkers> |
pumpkin chunkin is redneck science. |
| 1617 |
ramocles |
<rikkitikki> |
memmek2k: I really wish I could grab that |
| 1616 |
ramocles |
<doctorwork> |
DeliriumTremens, are you talking about semen too? |
| 1615 |
nerddtvg |
<soupmeister> |
nerddtvg_ I beg to differ. Good things come in little packages, they smell like God's farts, taste amazing, and cause pure unbridled joy. |
| 1614 |
nerddtvg_ |
<soupmeister> |
Jessica_92: Don't bother going to college, you might just want to go back to pre school. |
| 1613 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite8> |
it's all fun and games until you're shitting in the middle of a phone conference |
| 1612 |
ramocles |
<copywriteher> |
it will make you want to put panties on just so you can get them wet |
| 1611 |
ramocles |
<dolemite8> |
taintscaping |
| 1610 |
timotab |
<entangledphoton> |
lacri|work: I might have one of those in my mystery boxes |
| 1609 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Merlin00> |
Big Butts Like It Big Diary Of A Cockaholic |
| 1608 |
girk|work |
<Pb_ft> |
are you watching the swedish chef anally penetrate chickens DeliriumTremens ? |
| 1607 |
ramocles |
<Pb_ft> |
mine's short, so it's easy |
| 1606 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
You can't grab that! |
| 1605 |
nerd|work |
<timotab> |
stuffed with sausage if I remember righly |
| 1604 |
rikkitikki |
<ramocles> |
i'll sprinkle you with my love... |
| 1603 |
ramocles |
<jennn> |
How did you get the big stuff in? |
| 1602 |
ramocles |
<Evin> |
aaaand now I realize how creepy that sounds. |
| 1601 |
poisowork87 |
<copywriteher> |
jennn just gotta get condom outta da fishbowl first |
| 1600 |
ramocles |
<rikkitikki> |
Specifically the nipple pinchy |
| 1599 |
dolemite9 |
<spotmonk> |
I was going to look for some porn to wank to, but I'll just hold on a second and see what happens in here |
| 1598 |
spotmonk |
<rikkitikki> |
NO NIPPLE PINCHY |
| 1597 |
spif |
<ramocles> |
i want my illegal immigrants mechanically separated |
| 1596 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite9> |
these shopvacs aren't going to fuck themselves, ppl |
| 1595 |
soupmeister |
<entangled|home> |
How not to be a Christian: Step 1 read the bible |
| 1594 |
entangled|home |
<doctorsound> |
As an expert on mashed potatoes, I disagree |
| 1593 |
nerddtvg |
<lacrimosus> |
math is from the devil |
| 1592 |
doctorsound |
<lacrimosus> |
I just judge and let the lord sort them out later |
| 1591 |
dolemite8 |
<rikkitikki> |
beating... cucumber... |
| 1590 |
ramocles |
<spif> |
yeah but everyone wants meat |
| 1589 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rubikscubefreak> |
i'll banana stuff your sausage peppers |
| 1588 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
Evin: you want to "taste a rainbow"? |
| 1587 |
lacri|work |
<rikkisewwy> |
I'm totally hardcore |
| 1586 |
ramocles |
<monkers> |
"What is your oldest child?s middle name?" OK FUCK YOU SECURITY QUESTIONAIRE. NOW ITS PERSONAL. |
| 1585 |
girkabob |
<Evin> |
And I haven't even pooped today. |
| 1584 |
ramocles |
<rikkitikki> |
And the craaaazy boobs |
| 1583 |
Pb_ft|work |
<doctorwork> |
I swear, the developers of Outside are lazy |
| 1582 |
doctorwork |
<jennn> |
Ball gag for cats |
| 1581 |
||cw |
<Jessica_92> |
i mean, i'm sure there are at least a few willing participants at old age homes, walmart, all you can eat buffets... |
| 1580 |
rikkitkki |
<doctorwork> |
soupmeister, want to go to a ballgame with me so we can get those wieners in our mouths? |
| 1579 |
memmek2k |
<axe9|work> |
TACO TITTIES |
| 1578 |
ramocles |
<soupmeister> |
I'm OK with "totes". As in I'm going to kill doctorsound, chop him up, and distribute his body parts evenly between 5 totes. |
| 1577 |
dolemite8 |
<CityGirl> |
doctorwork my kid is at your house going through your drawers |
| 1576 |
doctorwork |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'm a huge hipster. |
| 1575 |
memmek2k |
<soupmeister> |
Eeeyup, off t' chemists for me stool softeners. Not been able to shite for a week. |
| 1574 |
entangledphoton |
<DeliriumTremens> |
DOWN TO THE APOTHECARY WITH YOU, M'LAD |
| 1573 |
DeliriumTremens |
<kitkatkaytee> |
i am surrouded by black people |
| 1572 |
ramocles |
<memmek2k> |
I can assure you, jennn's penis works. |
| 1571 |
DeliriumTremens |
<soupmeister> |
And she shoved a hamster up his bottom and it traveled all the way up his GI tract, up his throat, then ATE HIS BRAIN. |
| 1570 |
doctorwork |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Y'all are a bunch of losers, sitting in front of your computer, stroking your beards. |
| 1569 |
spif |
<CityGirl> |
seriously, don't sell crack and you're pretty much fine |
| 1568 |
lacri|work |
<soupmeister> |
spif: You're a cunt. |
| 1567 |
ramocles |
<soupmeister> |
LACRIMOSUS IS A NAZI |
| 1566 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
What if I TICKLED YOU |
| 1565 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn_> |
i pull on all the weiners |
| 1564 |
dolemite8 |
<doctorwork> |
Now we can get back to penising each other |
| 1563 |
memmek2k |
<DeliriumTremens> |
memmek2k and i have the butthole to prove it ( |
| 1562 |
DeliriumTremens |
<memmek2k> |
might try switching grip |
| 1561 |
derpa |
<lacri|work> |
hmm. do we now have a penis bot? |
| 1560 |
memmek2k |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I smear all of my notes in feces on the cubicle wall with my hands. |
| 1559 |
memmek2k |
<derpa> |
Weird Buttsauce |
| 1558 |
lacrimosus_ |
<NetPhoton> |
Primesauce, your muscles are larger than one of my heads |
| 1557 |
El_Dubb |
<Primesauce> |
I think half of my body weight at any time is booze. |
| 1556 |
lacrimosus_ |
<Primesauce> |
NetPhoton flashes his staff all the time |
| 1555 |
doctorsound |
<merica> |
by putting special characters in your quotes, you make them impossible to grab ? |
| 1554 |
merica |
<doctorsound> |
?? |
| 1553 |
Phoneton |
<NetPhoton> |
you can't have twerking and swag without but stuff |
| 1552 |
lacrimosus_ |
<NetPhoton> |
I poked around in Primesauce's server closet... if you know what I mean |
| 1551 |
lacrimosus_ |
<Camerongoogly> |
I think abortion is much more merciful than being born into Granite City |
| 1550 |
doctorsound|work |
<lombo> |
technicolor dreamcat? |
| 1549 |
CityGirl |
<Evin> |
including giant rhino butt screws. |
| 1548 |
||cw |
<spotmonk> |
it can't do anything, other than give orgasms |
| 1547 |
memmek2k |
<misspwn> |
i won't wana scissor |
| 1546 |
memmek2k |
<entangledphoton> |
Primesauce: Prepare your anus: I am coming. |
| 1545 |
lacrimosus_ |
<entangledphoton> |
Turn ons include: Curry and soul crushing. |
| 1544 |
axe9|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
At this point it's more of a "Fuck DT date." |
| 1543 |
memmek2k |
<DawnIsreal> |
it was so weird when doctorsound shaved. |
| 1542 |
entangledphoton |
<memmek2k> |
entangledphoton: you're delicious ; ) |
| 1541 |
timotab |
<jennn> |
I scored lowest on words of affirmation |
| 1540 |
||cw |
<dolemite8> |
PC Beeps For Treats |
| 1539 |
derpa |
<CityGirl> |
you guys are just ruining my furry fun |
| 1538 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
it's ok I have a giant head |
| 1537 |
memmek|work |
<El Dubb> |
memmek|work, it tastes good |
| 1536 |
doctorsound|work |
<dolemite9> |
Newpork 100's |
| 1535 |
anotherbofh |
<wcchandler> |
i feel like I should have slaves in the backyard |
| 1534 |
||cw |
<jennn> |
And by that I do mean get a new wife |
| 1533 |
derpa |
<doctorsound|work> |
timotab is just a set of teeth we want to put our dick in |
| 1532 |
doctorsound|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
she's like 0.85 timotabs |
| 1531 |
memmek2k |
<monkers> |
I <3 my penis. |
| 1530 |
Merlin00_ |
<monkers> |
in my defense, i'm seeing if she would be compatible in a healthy relationship, not, oh look a big wet vagina i want to put my dick in that and fuck it and if she says no fuck her. what you're implying is pretty offensive in itself, so, there's two sides here eh. |
| 1529 |
Merlin00_ |
<monkers> |
i consider myself a feminist |
| 1528 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Nobody wins in the game of LARP |
| 1527 |
entangledphoton |
<doctorsound|work> |
Penises everywhere! |
| 1526 |
timotab |
<Primesauce> |
I'll just nuke England. For funsies. |
| 1525 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
so if they give me grief at financial aid office, i will shit fire balls at them |
| 1524 |
Pb_ft |
<derpa> |
remember rule #1 of business. if you want repeat customers, you must penis them. |
| 1523 |
doctorsound|work |
<rikkitikki> |
I hate being wet... |
| 1522 |
memmek2k |
<derpa> |
watching the right and left debate is like watching two monkeys fucking a football |
| 1521 |
doctorsound|work |
<CityGirl> |
I have PMS and I will steal a gun. |
| 1520 |
lacri|work |
<Merlin01_> |
sharks can grow legs, it's evolution |
| 1519 |
SchwarzwindZero |
<Evin> |
What good would it do? The high velocity sharks would come right through the door. |
| 1518 |
memmek2k |
<derpa> |
i don't talk about your penis memmek2k |
| 1517 |
memmek2k |
<axe9|work> |
derpa: You have width but I have length |
| 1516 |
memmek2k |
<DeliriumTremens> |
HAVE FUN BEING FAT SHITHEAD |
| 1515 |
doctorsound|work |
<monkers> |
so we all have the same strain of herpes |
| 1514 |
memmek2k |
<copywriteher> |
please don't send me flowers at work |
| 1513 |
Evin |
<axe9|work> |
fris_: Do they keep you quite moist? |
| 1512 |
dolemite8 |
<rikkitikki> |
And it always seems like there's too much sauce even if I don't add any... |
| 1511 |
Chank |
<funkyb> |
also, if you're gagging, don't go so deep XD |
| 1510 |
Pb_ft |
<memmek2k> |
a couple of arduino boards, because what can't you do with those things? |
| 1509 |
axe9|work |
<anotherbofh> |
Micropeniscenter is my favorite store |
| 1508 |
lacrimosus_ |
<||cw2> |
yeah if you're gonna eat an ass well, you might as well be stoned |
| 1507 |
entangled|home |
<doctorsound> |
Yeah. I'm doing some experimenting |
| 1506 |
||cw |
<derpa> |
half black prostitute, half sugar glider |
| 1505 |
Chank |
<CityGirl> |
I mean, do guys really care if the boobs are a B or a C? When naked time comes around, nobody cares. |
| 1504 |
memmek2k |
<DrDinosaur> |
PLAY WITH MY LITTLE TURTLE! |
| 1503 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
I'm not very adventurous when it comes to meat |
| 1502 |
derpa |
<doctorsound|work> |
"Does your health insurance cover penis ensmallment" |
| 1501 |
Chank |
<rikkitikki> |
Also, I gotta say, you got some nice ta tas jennn |
| 1500 |
derpa |
<Merlin00> |
hilter would have put them all in an oven |
| 1499 |
doctorsound|work |
<derpa> |
blowgies |
| 1498 |
derpa |
<axe9|work> |
DrDinosaur: Lots of boobs? or mostly dong? |
| 1497 |
doctorsound |
<CityGirl> |
not enough to make a study |
| 1496 |
doctorsound |
<CityGirl> |
I'm still impressed by the diversity of penises |
| 1495 |
Pb_ft |
<Evin> |
oh well, I'll die like I lived. Poorly. |
| 1494 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work> |
I have a full que of 'FAG' invoices |
| 1493 |
nerd|work |
<entangledphoton> |
@Igetabonerwhen I squeeze littlepanda so tight she dies. |
| 1492 |
dolemite8 |
<||cw> |
come one man! we're trying to advance the english language here! |
| 1491 |
dolemite8 |
<entangledphoton> |
I will have sex with most technology. I can't help that my first reaction to something new and shiny is to fuck it! |
| 1490 |
entangledphoton_ |
<CityGirl> |
your potato was hugeness |
| 1489 |
||cw |
<entangledphoton_> |
I need the pork. |
| 1488 |
dolemite8 |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Jesus Christ I want to see that penis work it! |
| 1487 |
doctorsound|work |
<thatonejimguy> |
a bunch of freakin circle jerks |
| 1486 |
Muskett |
<ajwalsh44> |
there's a lot you can do with hard meat |
| 1485 |
dolemite7 |
<memmek2k> |
he doesn't get off completely scott free |
| 1484 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
no face full of fuck yet |
| 1483 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i dont have the body fatigue today, mostly just a face full of fuck |
| 1482 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound|work> |
oooh, I'd make a hot cop stripper |
| 1481 |
dolemite7 |
<El Dubb> |
Kiss From A Rose is timeless though |
| 1480 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work> |
Like... I feel like as the president, you could get much better strange.... |
| 1479 |
memmek2k |
<entangledphoton> |
My days are typically bonerific |
| 1478 |
entangledphoton |
<DrDinosaur> |
You're chocolate bear spanks me with my own belt while I'm half naked. |
| 1477 |
lacri|work |
<memmek2k> |
i think at this point we're looking at a fuck inversion in which we need e beers to get drunk enough to start giving fucks again |
| 1476 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
El Dubb isn't a homewrecker, he's a pussy wrecker. |
| 1475 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
I'm into substance, but I appreciate a total package. |
| 1474 |
funkyb |
<El Dubb> |
I chock full of 'substance' |
| 1473 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Camerongoogly> |
being attractive just gets you the approach, it doesn't keep them there |
| 1472 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Katty_: when El Dubb puts on "C'mon Feel The Noise" and flexes his pecks to the beat, you wont stand a chance |
| 1471 |
timotab |
<misspwn> |
i'm a sassy black woman on the inside |
| 1470 |
grobend |
<lacri|work> |
like 1 boner a day can keep your readership going till you are less pained. |
| 1469 |
memmek2k |
<entangledphoton_> |
I need boners to keep my social status |
| 1468 |
memmek2k |
<entangledphoton_> |
derpa: I can vouch for her realness. We can stalk her house sometime and I'll show you. |
| 1467 |
jennn |
<doctorsound|work> |
You heard it folks, be brutally honest to spif, because it won't hurt his feelings... |
| 1466 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
He was crawling around in holes. |
| 1465 |
derpa |
<El Dubb> |
but my wang needs attention |
| 1464 |
jennn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Prepare your anus! |
| 1463 |
doctorsound |
<jennn> |
My nails constantly cut through toilet paper and rake my asshole. Then my nail comes away all brown and bloody. |
| 1462 |
doctorsound |
<El Dubb> |
on second thought, let's not login to irc today. 'tis a silly place |
| 1461 |
El_Dubb |
<DrDinosaur> |
That's why I require my passengers to give me road head, so they can't talk to me. |
| 1460 |
Evin |
<entangledphoton> |
It poured so much fluids |
| 1459 |
El_Dubb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i will walk outside, punch a photon, and it will travel all the way back to the sun and slap its mother |
| 1458 |
memmek2k |
<lacrimosus> |
why aren't you putting them in my mouth right now? |
| 1457 |
memmek2k |
<lacrimosus> |
as much alcohol as there is in her, i would figure she could both disinfect dishes and break down anything you would want to garbage dispose.. |
| 1456 |
memmek2k |
<DeliriumTremens> |
QUICK FUCK IT WHILE IT'S FRESH |
| 1455 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Katty> |
you put your hands on the large muscles, either side the spine. push down and up |
| 1454 |
dolemite7 |
<jennn> |
Except you don't just start going by dick once you get old. |
| 1453 |
Chank |
<dolemite7> |
Please read: a pathetic plea for your panties from Jimmy Wales |
| 1452 |
Chank |
<CityGirl> |
plus size panties available for sale! |
| 1451 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkitikki> |
What do I care if some dude wants to jack off to my discharge |
| 1450 |
Chank |
<rikkitikki> |
Sometimes I just look at naked ladies to see how different the boobs and nipples are |
| 1449 |
derpa |
<rikkitikki> |
wieners? |
| 1448 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
I think if I were a girl, I'd only fuck fat guys, as there's lots more physical contact. As a fat guy, I just swallow the girl for the same effect |
| 1447 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
my sack isn't that saggy. |
| 1446 |
dolemite7 |
<spotmonk> |
does "I've got hardwood flooring installed downstairs..." mean she has a penis? |
| 1445 |
lacri|work |
<Camerononcally> |
also, I'm incredibly good looking, as well as humble |
| 1444 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
rhubarb all up in your coal chute |
| 1443 |
DeliriumTremens |
<El Dubb> |
this ruins the orifice |
| 1442 |
timotab |
<CityGirl> |
He's going to be Beaker. I'm going to be Ms. Piggy. |
| 1441 |
doctorsound|work |
<DawnIsreal> |
haha, I like tarders. |
| 1440 |
lacri|work |
<doctorsound|work> |
I like to keep turtles in my vagina. |
| 1439 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
I'm a sharknado |
| 1438 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
right, or where I can find a penis. |
| 1437 |
||cw |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Chank is the only one who can tonguepunch DTbots fartbox |
| 1436 |
dolemite7 |
<CityGirl> |
I'm providing ample opportunity for penis beer today |
| 1435 |
doctorsound |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Like being boned in the ass surprisingly. |
| 1434 |
dolemite7 |
<entangledphoton|> |
I have not eaten today and pooped 3 times. Am I creating matter? |
| 1433 |
girk|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
Shave lightning bolts into the dogs. |
| 1432 |
DeliriumTremens |
<poisomike812> |
but there were no pockets just stupidity |
| 1431 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound> |
Well, I still buy vinyl, but that's really hard to fit in the CD tray. |
| 1430 |
Chank |
<entangledphoton|> |
I would penis CityGirl, but I Holly know her! |
| 1429 |
dolemite7 |
<doctorsound|work> |
Ultra conservative saltwater taffy |
| 1428 |
spif |
<jennn> |
I'm gonna stuff your backpack so full! |
| 1427 |
||cw |
<nicholascloud> |
BEHOLD http://i.imgur.com/kgIlnTx.png |
| 1426 |
spif |
<||cw> |
lets leave the punny business to timo |
| 1425 |
lacri|work |
<jennn> |
I need to make some feathers for my ass. |
| 1424 |
entangledphoton |
<El Dubb> |
white is right |
| 1423 |
misspwn_ |
<CityGirl> |
pulled it right off the vine and stuck it in my pie hole |
| 1422 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
El Dubb: Sweaty, but satisfying? |
| 1421 |
||cw |
<entangledphoton> |
Fast fact: In order to assure complete lack of mouth pregnancy one may wrap the penis in bacon. |
| 1420 |
derpa |
<DrDinosaur> |
He's so gay he made me come. |
| 1419 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
I'm too busy sucking to deal with you! |
| 1418 |
rikki|phoney |
<DrDinosaur> |
Oh! How about I just dress like a dragon and then have sex with your husband? |
| 1417 |
Evin |
<CityGirl> |
but not that much pressure |
| 1416 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
Uh.... as long as I can put it inside of my mouth, I'm pretty open to whatever! |
| 1415 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
White primesauce needs booze badly |
| 1414 |
entangledphoton |
<CityGirl> |
Penis is my favorite! |
| 1413 |
lacri|work |
<doctorsound|work> |
Retirement? What's that? My retirement plan is to die when I'm 65 in a freak bear skydiving car crash |
| 1412 |
lacrimosus |
<doctorsound> |
Primesauce, passing out leads to Reganism |
| 1411 |
entangledphoton |
<jennn> |
sad and scraggly sounds like you could be talking about my vagina |
| 1410 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton> |
YOU TRY WALKING AROUND WITH AN ERECTION HALF THE DAY! |
| 1409 |
soupmeister |
<dolemite8> |
cajole these moles' and voles' holes with your poles... crittercam.com |
| 1408 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
Or do you need to be close enough to feel the boom. |
| 1407 |
DeliriumTremens |
<drewn3ss> |
dood, I love Aqua |
| 1406 |
entangledphoton |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I know you can walk on water, but can you walk on this much beer? |
| 1405 |
entangledphoton |
<lacri|work> |
derpa considers it his birthday every time he exits a vagina... |
| 1404 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
it's really hard not to cum when strangling someone to death |
| 1403 |
dolemite9 |
<kitkatkaytee> |
TAKE MY CAT DAMN IT |
| 1402 |
nerd|work |
<dolemite9> |
Chank can you rebuild DTbot's quote queue by using r/DTbot and then magically taking the newest ones and cramming them back in there asswell? |
| 1401 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
El Dubb likes to get elbow deep in cat. |
| 1400 |
soupmeister |
<Chank> |
where she could penis after she joined |
| 1399 |
lacri|work |
<wcchandler> |
death to all arabs! |
| 1398 |
axe9|work |
<CityGirl> |
El Dubb I missed penis, it was a problem. |
| 1397 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work3> |
That where you use the yeast from a penile yeast infection to start your mash> |
| 1396 |
memmek2k |
<Ryxeria> |
also, blowjobs is definitely how I solve all my debt problems, so I approve of that comic |
| 1395 |
timotab |
<doctorsound> |
Yep, I musta sucked 20 dicks there |
| 1394 |
timotab |
<littlepanda> |
I will light your cheese |
| 1393 |
dolemite8 |
<CityGirl> |
She is very adventurous with meat. |
| 1392 |
memmek2k |
<doctorsound|work> |
And she does have some nice holes. |
| 1391 |
lacri|work |
<jennn> |
Umm, so what about when you're giving a guy a bj and he's the one that throws up? That's a bad sign right? |
| 1390 |
||cw |
<lacri|work> |
go set up your presentation and quit taunting me with your pretzel penis entangledphoton |
| 1389 |
El |
<ep|phone> |
I am so much better at giving myself a handjob than anyone else and that is free. |
| 1388 |
ep|phone |
<monkerton> |
"the poop hole isn't a loop hole" |
| 1387 |
lacri|thangs |
<Primesauce> |
El Dubb, our love transcends time. |
| 1386 |
axe9|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
I'm so delicious and sticky. |
| 1385 |
dolemite8 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
saving my forearm |
| 1384 |
memmek2k |
<soupy> |
Hymen = cheesecake... got it. |
| 1383 |
soupy |
<lacri|work> |
you are on drugs, its okay |
| 1382 |
memmek2k |
<entangledphoton> |
You were in an out of here faster than DrDinosaur in a vagina |
| 1381 |
derpa |
<dolemite8> |
"just sit on this bench here, put your arm on the back, cross your legs and act natural... say mayor mccheese!" |
| 1380 |
derpa |
<Katty> |
and the squeal was coming from the under bits |
| 1379 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
littlepanda come with and pet my hairs |
| 1378 |
CityGirl |
<Camerongoogly> |
the weird kids from high school never stop being weird, we just learn how to roleplay normal better |
| 1377 |
lacrimosus |
<doctorsound> |
Let's just say you've got a butt upgrade. A buttgrade if you will. |
| 1376 |
derpa |
<||cw> |
WHO DOES A GUY HAVE A BLOW TO BE A SWEEPER DRIVER |
| 1375 |
nerd|laptop |
<DrDinosaur> |
Indeed. kitkatkaytee knows how to grab when vibrators are involved. |
| 1374 |
lacrimosus |
<timotab> |
I would have thought you'd be an expert at blowing, spotmonk |
| 1373 |
memmek2k |
<||cw> |
oh god the nipples |
| 1372 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
someone get me a glass of water, it's dope time |
| 1371 |
funkyb |
<derpa> |
i sell fisting licenses |
| 1370 |
lacri|work |
<memmek2k> |
As an engineer, I would like to point out that the schematics for the device labeled "women" have a significantly wider tolerance than noted in the key, and tend to be either poorly labeled or overlabeled |
| 1369 |
derpa |
<ep|phone> |
misspwn's charm is all in her stank. |
| 1368 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
I can do the intercourse! |
| 1367 |
dolemite9 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
ah the ol' drawer full of dongs |
| 1366 |
ep|phone |
<spotmonk> |
you're sitting in a stall and the rambone come blasting through the wall and then a smaller penis comes through and you think "oh god, I'll suck this one just so I don't have to deal with the other thing" |
| 1365 |
ep|phone |
<DrDinosaur> |
I'm going to stretch out all the boob parts! |
| 1364 |
memmek2k |
<rikkitikki> |
Well can you really blame them, children are so sexy |
| 1363 |
derpa |
<CityGirl> |
that would freak me out more than a misplaced pee hole |
| 1362 |
derpa |
<entangledphoton> |
internet vag has lost all mystery |
| 1361 |
DeliriumTremens |
<ep|phone> |
No joke! Have you seen the price of cardamom lately? |
| 1360 |
entangledphoton |
<DeliriumTremens> |
girls should just wear pasties all the time |
| 1359 |
DeliriumTremens |
<jennn> |
I can put some asian on your inside CityGirl |
| 1358 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work> |
Coffee makes my butthole feel weird :( |
| 1357 |
entangledphoton |
<DeliriumTremens> |
yeah, quite ugly, but i've had much uglier |
| 1356 |
memmek |
<lacri|work> |
my micropenis is uncircumcised. you could certainly try it.. |
| 1355 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
look, brojobs until the cows come home but at the end of the day I need a hole that is not DrDinosaur's mouth. |
| 1354 |
||cw |
<derpa> |
spotmonk: you'd bang a piece of soaked cardboard |
| 1353 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"stop reheating fish, it smells like your moms crotch" |
| 1352 |
derpa |
<entangledphoton> |
if anyone has to out penis me I am glad it is memmek |
| 1351 |
spotmonk |
<littlepanda> |
better in my belly than a box |
| 1350 |
memmek |
<soupy> |
I love how everyone else is "OMG ARE WE GONNA DIE?" and Chank is all "NEED GIRKA PIC OMG" |
| 1349 |
doctorsound |
<CityGirl> |
CheeseMonkies I'm on drugs, it makes me surly |
| 1348 |
funkyb |
<Katty> |
guy with a trombone, YES. |
| 1347 |
DeliriumTremens |
<lacri|work> |
your sister is very attractive |
| 1346 |
derpa |
<entangledphoton_> |
lacri|work: what is that and why is it eating like a people? |
| 1345 |
derpa |
<wcchandler> |
CityGirl: time to upgrade the hover round |
| 1344 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
Yeah, who uses condoms anyway? |
| 1342 |
lacri|work |
<CityGirl> |
This is like a douche commercial. Everyone runs when they douche. |
| 1341 |
DrDinosaur |
<CityGirl> |
Camerongoogly got the penis already |
| 1340 |
entangledphoton |
<CityGirl> |
jennn: but coffee is kinda hot on the boobs |
| 1339 |
derpa |
<monkers> |
EP show us the PENIS |
| 1338 |
memmek2k |
<jennn_e_kim> |
Whoa who said they have to be over 21? |
| 1336 |
funkyb |
<Chankster^> |
YOU HEAR THAT? FUNKYB UNDERSTANDS TRIG |
| 1335 |
memmek2k |
<axe9|work> |
OOOH! Lets start the Saint Louis Eugenics Club! |
| 1334 |
derpa |
<El Dubb> |
fuck it and all other things as well |
| 1333 |
funkyb |
<soupmeister> |
Change is bad. Why don't you people understand? |
| 1332 |
entangledphoton |
<lacri|work> |
women are the worst, amirite? |
| 1331 |
CityGirl |
<lacri|work> |
"I fell right on his penis! It wasn't my fault!" |
| 1330 |
lacri|work |
<El Dubb> |
NOOOOOO. MY JUICES!!! |
| 1329 |
memmek2k |
<rikkiPad> |
I am definitely vocal though |
| 1328 |
DeliriumTremens |
<soupmeister> |
twerking is the hottest thing since dry blowjobs |
| 1327 |
derpa |
<misspwn> |
i'm all about the D |
| 1326 |
memmek2k |
<lovingcouple> |
Im just gonna cut to the chase then, I am a 23 year old male looking for a girl to join me and my girlfriend for a threesome |
| 1325 |
DeliriumTremens |
<lacri|work> |
spent like 10 minutes frustratedly masturbating trying to finish without throwing up |
| 1324 |
memmek2k |
<entangled|home> |
he was born in planes. His ancestors raised the planes from kites. A noble breed, they became one with their planes. They formed a symbiotic lifestyle. Now the planes obey the pilots in exchange for fuel and the chance to travel to far off lands to attract mates. |
| 1323 |
entangled|home |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Solvent Peckers Lonely Toast Fap Band |
| 1322 |
dolemite9 |
<soupmeister> |
I CAN'T FUCKING POOP |
| 1321 |
||cw |
<derpa> |
it will be satisfying but emotionally draining... like fucking a burning dolphin |
| 1320 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
mushroom stamp of almost certain paralysis |
| 1319 |
memmek2k |
<littlepanda> |
it was large and intimidating and filled the peripheral vision on my left side with rainbow colors |
| 1318 |
Camerongilly |
<lacrimosus> |
I do jerks comfortably |
| 1317 |
memmek2k |
<entangled|home> |
I'll flash my penis to anyone, but I get self conscious in the gym |
| 1316 |
funkyb |
<entangledphoton> |
have fun storming the castle! |
| 1315 |
dolemite8 |
<lacri|work> |
the idea of putting cucumber in it sounds worth a try as well... |
| 1314 |
Chank |
<entangledphoton> |
THIS IS MUCH HOTTER THAN I AM PREPARED TO DEAL WITH |
| 1313 |
memmek2k |
<jennn> |
We do not ovary shame in here, boys. |
| 1312 |
memmek2k |
<axe9|work> |
I should give my dick sideburns next time.... |
| 1311 |
Chank |
<misspwn> |
because no one pays me for it. because i won't let them pay me for it |
| 1310 |
lacrimosus |
<kitkatkaytee> |
The confetti is all soggy, vagina goodness |
| 1309 |
DeliriumTremens |
<DrDinosaur> |
I hate birds. they are the worst. worse than Ryxeria |
| 1308 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound> |
Civil Life |
| 1307 |
Primesauce |
<littlepanda> |
mmhmm. no copse in the bamboo shoots is safe from my sexual exploits now. |
| 1306 |
dolemite8 |
<axe9|work> |
I donno, I was like... hey lets put this in my mouth |
| 1305 |
soupmeister |
<axe9|work> |
I just put on my sunglasses when I sat down at my desk.... and wondered why I couldn't hear my music... |
| 1304 |
DeliriumTremens |
<jennn> |
mouth to hardrive |
| 1303 |
||cw |
<memmek2k> |
oooooh don wan upset hur |
| 1302 |
funkyb |
<jennn> |
God I sound like a whore |
| 1301 |
memmek2k |
<CityGirl> |
stimulation overload and I just shut down |
| 1300 |
wcchandler |
<axe9|work> |
Man... I remember getting tips. I miss it |
| 1299 |
CityGirl |
<wcchandler> |
there's just piss everywhere |
| 1298 |
soupmeister |
<El Dubb> |
that's some quality bird sex |
| 1297 |
DeliriumTremens |
<jennn> |
kitkatkaytee: Does your vagina have a double lip like your eyes? |
| 1296 |
Pb_ft |
<||cw2> |
it's like lowering the interstate speed to 45 because this one guy was doing 120 and killed someone |
| 1295 |
memmek2k |
<wcchandler> |
i just pooped and it's bubbling |
| 1294 |
entangledphoton |
<CityGirl> |
I'm good on penises |
| 1293 |
PartyPat |
<CityGirl> |
I admired your pen from across the table, Lapper. |
| 1292 |
PartyPat |
<Camerongoogly> |
There can never be total equality between the sexes because of the tyranny of biology |
| 1291 |
memmek2k |
<axe9|work> |
Wow, martha stewart was a fox.... |
| 1290 |
poisowork87 |
<jennn> |
I can't imagine the amount of money I would have lost on the pirate ship. |
| 1289 |
entangledphoton |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I have J Lo's ass, I'm set for life. |
| 1288 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
I spend my weekends shitting on dicks for science. |
| 1287 |
soupmeister |
<entangledphoton> |
I think I could forcibly poop a dick out of me. |
| 1286 |
DeliriumTremens |
<memmek2k> |
they can squirt that tube into my belly anytime. |
| 1285 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
where as wcchandler slammed on the D |
| 1284 |
entangledphoton |
<doctorsound> |
I just don't think they put enough provel on mexican food |
| 1283 |
memmek2k |
<CityGirl> |
Don't pee on me. |
| 1282 |
doctorsound|work |
<entangledphoton> |
she's a lacri bian |
| 1281 |
doctorsound |
<Camerongoogly> |
I assume a cabbie is more authentic if they're religious garb, the same way I like chinese restaurants with spelling errors in their menus |
| 1279 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
what's weird about that? I give myself the old elbow treatment at least 3 times a week |
| 1278 |
lacri|work |
<monkers> |
hehe, lacri is like data from star trek. She's not human, but in a way, she's more human than any of us. |
| 1277 |
DeliriumTremens |
<memmek2k> |
soupmeister: if you can handle the soreness, I'd keep going. it'll get better in a week or two. But otherwise, nbd to start slow |
| 1276 |
memmek2k |
<CityGirl> |
That's true. El Dubb is 100% brown sugar |
| 1275 |
memmek2k |
<jennn> |
I want to pee on you |
| 1274 |
RecursiveChaos |
<LostAncient> |
Batsmen! |
| 1273 |
Camerongoogly |
<CityGirl> |
flash light |
| 1272 |
jennn |
<entangledphoton> |
I thought she was a virgin who got immaculate Herpes. |
| 1271 |
memmek2k |
<jennn> |
I don't know how to pitch a tent. |
| 1270 |
dolemite8 |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Okay, I srsly need a cucumber. But I am too lazy to go to the store. |
| 1269 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
rubikscubefreak I think one Elton is gay tilt |
| 1268 |
CityGirl |
<RecursiveWork> |
entangledphoton always gets the penis first |
| 1267 |
dolemite8 |
<jennn> |
I wanted some colored ones but didn't like them on my face. |
| 1266 |
soupmeister |
<wcchandler> |
jennn: got a pic showing 'em off? |
| 1265 |
dolemite8 |
<rubikscubefreak> |
i think y'all motherfuckers need jesus |
| 1264 |
poisomikework |
<jennn1> |
sometimes I just pulled a tampon out so it's like a desert |
| 1263 |
poisomikework |
<jennn1> |
unless you're spitting on the vagina cause it's too dry, then slobber is appropriate |
| 1262 |
entangledphoton |
<jennn> |
I'm sabertooth! I'm wolverwine! |
| 1261 |
poisomikework |
<jennn> |
worms that come out the butt hole really freak me out something fierce |
| 1260 |
CityGirl |
<entangledphoton> |
jennn was the less white blur |
| 1259 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
I wear a heart on my sleeve and butts on my back |
| 1258 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Like Reddit's content but love YouTube's delivery? Try RedTube.com! (self.ShittyLifeProTips) |
| 1257 |
CityGirl |
<doctorsound|work> |
entangledphoton is fast on that penis |
| 1256 |
entangledphoton |
<Ryxeria> |
My dreams always involve dongs |
| 1255 |
DeliriumTremens |
<lacrimosus> |
Just got done shaving the nutmeg. |
| 1254 |
doctorsound|work |
<jennn> |
I'm never satisfied |
| 1253 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite8> |
my back feels good and my bottom feels goood |
| 1252 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound|work> |
Just wait until I split you open with my ass tool. |
| 1251 |
derpa |
<dolemite8> |
I *WANT* WOOD |
| 1250 |
derpa |
<spotwork> |
then I don't have to hear her talk while I masturbate |
| 1249 |
funkyb |
<lacri|work> |
nuts are almost entirely fats. |
| 1248 |
derpa |
<soupmeister> |
wcchandler: I have no problem eating penis. |
| 1247 |
axe9|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
dont call kitkatkaytees vagina your "junk box" |
| 1246 |
DeliriumTremens |
<wcchandler> |
yeah, and you can't lick the juices when they end up on you :( |
| 1245 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotwork> |
Someone just asked me if I ever get told I look like Brian Posehn. I said "yeah... I would get it all the time on Chatroulette. People be like 'are you Brian Posehn?' and I'd be like 'Does this look like Brian Posehn's dick?'" |
| 1244 |
derpa |
<CityGirl> |
A penis isn't good enough? You have to be able to put a love seat and a coffee table in there? |
| 1243 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
Whoever puts the most stuff in it wins? |
| 1242 |
DrDinosaur |
<CityGirl> |
it's an anus, not a storage locker! |
| 1241 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
i want to go fisting |
| 1240 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
I'm thinking if your "snail trail" is sticky, you need medical attention |
| 1239 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
give me $5 and I'll pinch you |
| 1238 |
derpa |
<CityGirl> |
"Read the instructions, cunt!" |
| 1237 |
derpa |
<jennn> |
I want to smell like your bodily waste |
| 1236 |
El_Dubb |
<memmek2k> |
or grind your own nuts into a butter and add cocoa powder/butter |
| 1235 |
DeliriumTremens |
<DrDinosaur> |
wcchandler, let me go try uploading a dick pic and find out. |
| 1234 |
derpa |
<rikkitikki> |
lacri|work: More like eat their period |
| 1233 |
DeliriumTremens |
<DrDinosaur> |
DT is a traditionalist. He only let's misspwn poop regular poop onto him. |
| 1232 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
rikkitikki: I wear antiperspirant on my grundle! |
| 1231 |
El_Dubb |
<Primesauce> |
But if I wanted to shove an ecig up my cooch, would they tell me not to? |
| 1230 |
doctorsound|nix |
<DeliriumTremens> |
so its a version of a dildo/tupperware party |
| 1229 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
funkyb, you'll always be the gay of the day to me. |
| 1228 |
memmek2k |
<El Dubb> |
black people eat lotion, CityGirl |
| 1227 |
memmek2k |
<CityGirl> |
I still love gay musical theater kids! |
| 1226 |
misspwn |
<CityGirl> |
I need some meats. |
| 1225 |
dolemite9 |
<DrDinosaur> |
THE CONSTITUTION PROTECTS MY RIGHT TO WEAR BOWTIES AND LOOK AT PICTURES OF BIRDS WITH ARMS! |
| 1224 |
CityGirl |
<bundtkate> |
DTbot beers for penising CityGirl |
| 1223 |
memmek2k |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Yolo swag 420 bitches |
| 1222 |
derpa |
<dolemite9> |
i blew it. |
| 1221 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
that pickle looks so good |
| 1220 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
I'm super pale. Therefor I'm extremely patriotic. |
| 1219 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
youlysses, I am NEVER sarcastic. |
| 1218 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bundtkate> |
That's ok tho. I fucking love commas. |
| 1217 |
Chank |
<lacri|work_> |
there is always an excess of tea and scrotum around here |
| 1216 |
||cw |
<poisomike87> |
thats how I am sadly. watch your leg once I get friendly with you its mine for the night |
| 1215 |
POISOMIKe |
<bundtkate> |
She's ready for eating. ||cw has had girkabob ripening in his basement for a few days. |
| 1214 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
jennn has built up her own unique yeast strains, too |
| 1213 |
derpa |
<work|endearing> |
but if the other guy has a much bigger penis, you're in trouble |
| 1212 |
lacri|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
It's not "gay chicken" if you're just planning to meet up and kiss eachother. |
| 1211 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
Do NOT ejaculate into the ice water. It will melt the ice. |
| 1210 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
i'd smother myself in brown mustard and relish... i'd be delicious |
| 1209 |
CityGirl |
<work|endearing> |
we are going to need a razor of decent quality and some ass bleach |
| 1208 |
lacri|work |
<CityGirl> |
DrDinosaur is the most prolific inappropriate toucher/kisser |
| 1207 |
DeliriumTremens |
<DrDinosaur> |
Donna was the worst thing in all of time and space. |
| 1206 |
DeliriumTremens |
<funkyb> |
some people like 1 hole, some wackos do 3 |
| 1205 |
derpa |
<doctorsound|work> |
I totally want to do Sir Bearington |
| 1204 |
memmek2k |
<derpa> |
the only person you can't pick on is work|endearing, cause he's a delicate flower |
| 1203 |
derpa |
<CityGirl> |
chicken booty? no. totally cute |
| 1202 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
wcchandler: i understood one word of that... box |
| 1201 |
jennn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
nipples as puffy as cumulonimbi |
| 1200 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
one time a lady farted next to me and I didn't even smirk |
| 1199 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
it's kind of like if a naked mole rat were mixed with uncle from jackie chan adventures |
| 1198 |
funkyb |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Such... whores. |
| 1197 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
my arms get tired before I have trouble getting it up again |
| 1196 |
Chankster^ |
<soupmeister> |
weinr is now the official spelling |
| 1195 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
I had a black felt hat and everything. I was so cool. |
| 1194 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
you dip your pee in it i think |
| 1193 |
dolemite8 |
<memmek2k> |
...why is that colon red? |
| 1192 |
memmek2k |
<DeliriumTremens> |
MY EYEBROWS DEMONSTRATE MASCULINE AUTHORITY |
| 1191 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
fuck IE so hard |
| 1190 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
fine.... for buildup = legos during sex |
| 1189 |
memmek2k |
<entangledphoton_> |
I would be really interested to see endearingnoises' patronus. |
| 1188 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
one douchebag with an epipe is more than enough for this group of people |
| 1187 |
memmek2k |
<entangledphoton_> |
Shouldn't we be swimming in penis by now? |
| 1186 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce> |
I'm morally flexible, does that count? |
| 1185 |
lacri|work |
<work|endearing> |
my penis is insidious |
| 1184 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
well i already want a lot of meat in my mouth |
| 1183 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Chank> |
DT IS MY HERO |
| 1182 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite8> |
if it's got "Kum" in it, it's got to be good |
| 1181 |
derpa |
<soupmeister> |
entangledphoton_: Your nipples are always so pink. |
| 1180 |
soupmeister |
<DeliriumTremens> |
lol nut butter |
| 1179 |
dolemite8 |
<entangledphoton_> |
Unfortunately for them, high altitude climbers would have the best chance of staying conscious in a room where the air supply is provided purely by farts. |
| 1178 |
dolemite8 |
<DrDinosaur> |
My general philosophy on life is that a significantly larger proportion of the human race needs to be on fire than our current state. |
| 1177 |
derpa |
<misspwn> |
i pooped out a gerbil once |
| 1176 |
derpa |
<soupmeister> |
No, misspwn, you're a fag. |
| 1175 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
i'm a legit gay |
| 1174 |
CityGirl |
<derpa> |
i need to murder a hooker |
| 1173 |
Chank |
<derpa> |
DeliriumTremens: and before you know it, you're watching cougar town and drinking 8 bottles of wine per week. |
| 1172 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
The Soggy Grundle isn't going to moisten itself! |
| 1171 |
derpa |
<dolemite8> |
Golden Girls Gone Wild |
| 1170 |
DeliriumTremens |
<wcchandler> |
i find a lot of things arousing |
| 1169 |
doctorsound |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Same reason some people want penises in their butts. Preference. |
| 1168 |
baslisks|work |
<breakdancingcat> |
i toss my own salad every day |
| 1167 |
lacrimosus |
<CityGirl> |
pants are for suckers |
| 1166 |
lacrimosus |
<baslisks> |
fact: the milky way contains all known psychopaths. |
| 1165 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton_> |
Come camping with us and I promise you showers of gold |
| 1164 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Merlin00> |
when you feel another dude's boner in your back, that can't be a good deal |
| 1163 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite8> |
ain't no bagel like an everything bagel cuz a everything bagel has everything |
| 1162 |
derpa |
<memmek2k> |
heh, grabbing boners. |
| 1161 |
memmek2k |
<axe9|work> |
I was getting boners around 10 years old |
| 1160 |
entangledphoton |
<crittercam> |
See hot pussy prancing on keyboards today! crittercam.com |
| 1159 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
I can't wait for Journey to the Center of the TARDIS |
| 1158 |
bundtkate |
<DeliriumTremens> |
you accidentally an orifice |
| 1157 |
doctorsound|work |
<Katty> |
entangledphoton: naga please |
| 1156 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound|work> |
My sperm is so fertile, no IUD will stop it. |
| 1154 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound|work> |
Visiting any other gas station is like literally being sent to Auschwitz. |
| 1153 |
funkyb |
<CheeseMonkies> |
IN YO BUTT |
| 1152 |
Pb_ft |
<memmek2k> |
lacrimosus: you've been missing out. Primesauce smells gooood |
| 1151 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
your mom wouldn't even fit inside a baseball field. |
| 1150 |
lacrimosus |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my penis is the superior race |
| 1149 |
lacrimosus |
<DrDinosaur> |
A stash of nanners is what we call it when endearingnoises, ep_net, and I hang out. |
| 1148 |
lacrimosus |
<Camerongoogly> |
To level up your whoriness, you must gain (s)EXP |
| 1147 |
||cw |
<Pb_ft|work> |
I can fuck my bears just fine thanks |
| 1146 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk_> |
bacon homework doing bacon homework |
| 1145 |
Pb_ft|work |
<||cw> |
ha! i'm so old my grundle could break your foot |
| 1144 |
Chankster^ |
<Pb_ft|work> |
hmm... obvious grab is obvious |
| 1143 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
But Jews have all the jewtrients I need! |
| 1142 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce> |
I'm going to beat you up with blues jitsu |
| 1141 |
Chank |
<work|endearing> |
"I'll make a man out of you" is what I listen to when I've masturbated too many times earlier that day and I'm close to finishing again but it hurts |
| 1140 |
memmek2k |
<Pb_ft|work> |
that's why you don't hold the paddle in your asschecks spotwork |
| 1139 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
I would love a pube donut |
| 1138 |
Chank |
<kitaktkitty> |
I mean, next thing you'll know, people will be marrying animals. |
| 1137 |
soupmeister |
<crittercam> |
Want to watch the birds and the bees? crittercam.com |
| 1136 |
funkyb |
<CityGirl> |
"I'm interested in the post bachelorette degree in medicine." NOU |
| 1135 |
derpa |
<CityGirl> |
my ass super hurts |
| 1134 |
lacri|work |
<crittercam> |
Can this sexy mongoose conquer your snake? Find out at crittercam.com |
| 1133 |
lacri|work |
<crittercam> |
See what THIS squirrel is willing to do to get a nut in it's mouth! crittercam.com |
| 1131 |
bundtkate |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I have three headed sperm |
| 1130 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i had to smell to make sure it wasnt piss |
| 1129 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
funkyb you need gay practice. DrDinosaur gives lessons |
| 1128 |
derpa |
<work|endearing> |
would you say she's been... eaten out? |
| 1127 |
lacri|work |
<work|endearing> |
I am the ingrown toenail on the foot of evil |
| 1126 |
DeliriumTremens |
<soupmeister> |
Balls on Jennn A new fragrance from Endearing Smells. |
| 1125 |
derpa |
<soupmeister> |
I want to be naked with you work|endearing |
| 1124 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotwork> |
I gave her the ole salt spray |
| 1123 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CitySalty> |
my pants are all crunchy and stiff :( |
| 1122 |
derpa |
<work|endearing> |
this old guy was all like, "you're supposed to roll it, not pack it you noob" |
| 1121 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite8> |
i once ate 2 footlong seafood delight subway subs in one sitting |
| 1120 |
dolemite8 |
<crittercam> |
It's mating season, and wild young bucks are hunting for YOU crittercam.com |
| 1119 |
dolemite8 |
<crittercam> |
Playful young pussies are waiting for you to make them purr at crittercam.com |
| 1118 |
Pb_ft|work |
<archbot> |
[Chank] I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask John Lennon if it is. |
| 1117 |
Tiroch |
<baslisks> |
Am I Demon and Knights of Caldonia have merged in my head |
| 1116 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
I like my women to be so skinny that they fall through normal toilet seats. |
| 1115 |
Tiroch |
<crittercam> |
Want to know why they call it "fucking like bunnies"? crittercam.com |
| 1114 |
Tiroch |
<crittercam> |
Find out the REAL meaning of spread eagle, at crittercam.com |
| 1113 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
YOU FUCKED IT UP DERPA |
| 1112 |
DeliriumTremens |
<crittercam> |
These hot young birds are waiting for your seed. crittercam.com |
| 1111 |
poisomikework |
<soupmeister> |
I dunno... the wafer is a pretty integral part of the Kitkat experience. |
| 1110 |
CityGirl |
<derpa> |
Wangernumb! |
| 1109 |
DeliriumTremens |
<crittercam> |
"Would you entreat on my backdoor," quoth the Raven "I'm a whore" crittercam.com |
| 1108 |
Pb_ft|work |
<||cw> |
sometimes it takes me 3 days to do laundry because I go to sleep instead |
| 1107 |
Pb_ft|work |
<crittercam> |
Have you ever wondered why they call them "box" turtles? Find out at crittercam.com |
| 1106 |
dolemite8 |
<crittercam> |
See how many nuts these eager young hamsters can fit in their mouths. crittercam.com |
| 1105 |
dolemite8 |
<crittercam> |
Young snakes looking to shed their skin just for you! crittercam.com |
| 1104 |
dolemite8 |
<crittercam> |
Meet young horny chipmunks in your neck of the woods TONIGHT crittercam.com |
| 1103 |
soupmeister |
<bundtkate> |
I assume returning from a meeting counts for re penising. >.> |
| 1102 |
DeliriumTremens |
<crittercam> |
have you ever seen a young, tight bodied racoon fist herself? crittercam.com |
| 1101 |
DeliriumTremens |
<crittercam> |
looking to see a sexy squirrel or rabbit do dirty things on cam? crittercam.com |
| 1100 |
DeliriumTremens |
<crittercam> |
seriously... who doesn't like a good rimjob? |
| 1099 |
crittercam |
<soupmeister> |
FUCKING COCKS |
| 1098 |
dolemite8 |
<crittercam> |
nothing better than a hooker on a tuesday afternoon |
| 1097 |
Tiroch |
<DeliriumTremens> |
TIL soupmeister prefers to do one big load |
| 1096 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
The atheist diet contains a modest amount of baby meat. |
| 1095 |
dolemite8 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
CityGirl: soupmeister cooked a can of hormel on a hot plate in his hotel room and gave himself a Jr. Tee Ball trophee and tells everyone he won a chili cookoff in Texas once. |
| 1094 |
Katty |
<crittercam> |
http //tinyurl.com/b5k3lt4 |
| 1093 |
Chank |
<crittercam> |
SLUTS! ALL OVER THE PLACE! |
| 1091 |
dolemite8 |
<derpa> |
Cry cunt; and let slip the dogs of r/stl! |
| 1090 |
DeliriumTremens |
<baslisks|work> |
but now you can fill it with your soggy grundle |
| 1089 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i hate you entangledphoton_ |
| 1088 |
soupmeister |
<derpa> |
you could have the jennn special: The blue waffle with discharge topping, that comes with a side of Burning Herp fries (tobasco covered home fries) |
| 1087 |
dolemite8 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I'll never see The Soggy Grundle off the ground ;_; |
| 1086 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
I was molested by the baby : ( |
| 1085 |
lacrimosus |
<baslisks|work> |
lesbian snow angels |
| 1084 |
lacrimosus |
<ep_net> |
so drink gay instead! |
| 1083 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
Putting sugar in tea is as bad as putting jews in gas chambers. THAT'S HOW STRONGLY I FEEL ABOUT THIS! |
| 1082 |
doctorsound |
<Camerononcall> |
If you made coat for keeping floozies warm, you could call it the floozy koozie. |
| 1081 |
lacrimosus |
<DrDinosaur> |
"Oh no! The sky is falling! Run, Mr. Archeoptryx!" |
| 1080 |
lacri|meeting |
<ep_net> |
well, stoners are queer bait |
| 1079 |
derpa |
<ep_net> |
I don't need all these penises |
| 1078 |
derpa |
<lacri|meeting> |
ep_net, you want 2 penises in you? |
| 1077 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl> |
I was a total shithead. |
| 1076 |
wcchandler |
<lacri|work> |
it's like ky jelly for your brain. it's like ky jelly for your mouth |
| 1075 |
Chankster^ |
<entangledphoton> |
nobody actually likes air mattresses. I would rather sleep in a nest of blankets on the floor |
| 1074 |
timotab |
<zero619> |
Actually I was planning on asking where one applies for the license to become a safe sexual outlet |
| 1073 |
WhatIsAnArch |
<dolemite8> |
Birches ain't shit but oaks and hickorys |
| 1072 |
DeliriumTremens |
<wcchandler> |
i'mma give myself a facial tonight, then. |
| 1071 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i'm glad i cleaned up down there |
| 1070 |
GaryEffingOak |
<WhatIsAnArch> |
One time I tried fisting a rhino. It was surprisingly easy. |
| 1069 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
i could crack a watermelon in half with my leg muscles |
| 1068 |
Pb_ft|work |
<CityGirl> |
I think an unseparated life from anyone is unhealthy |
| 1067 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my butt cheeks hurt |
| 1066 |
wcchandler |
<derpa> |
their dad was angry, but fuck that lazy bum |
| 1065 |
bundtkate |
<wcchandler> |
i WANT THE D!!!! |
| 1064 |
funkyb |
<derpa> |
Dude, satan is in my house. he killed my mom, and turned her into a bull |
| 1063 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
sharing whiskey is sharing love |
| 1062 |
lacri|work |
<zero619> |
Baby squirrels and blowjobs for everyone! |
| 1061 |
Katty |
<RonJonJovi> |
oh my god, I want that in me |
| 1060 |
lacri|work |
<jennn> |
Honey, the pee would run down your leg and INTO your rubber boots. |
| 1059 |
derpa |
<CityGirl|work> |
jennn squirts breast milk and pees on me |
| 1058 |
DeliriumTremens |
<CityGirl|work> |
that's not a fight, that's a sex puddle |
| 1057 |
DeliriumTremens |
<funcrimosus|work> |
entangledphoton likes the D |
| 1056 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
i baited you perfectly, queer |
| 1055 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
maybe the miniature mexican in your stomach gets excited and starts jumping up and down firing pistols in the air, causing you to hiccup. |
| 1054 |
Pb_ft|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
Belgian Underwear Never Did Taint Kate's Ass, Though. Eww. |
| 1053 |
Pb_ft|work |
<jennn> |
pinch, pull, aim and shoot |
| 1052 |
Chank |
<derpa> |
we're all just looking for someone to touch our genitals |
| 1051 |
||cw |
<wcchandler> |
do they make kegels for the butt? |
| 1050 |
CityGirl |
<entangledphoton_> |
damn, I wanted to get the first penis in |
| 1049 |
remstar |
<jennn> |
toys don't help me at all. I need an actual penis inside of me. |
| 1048 |
justincase_ |
<wcchandler> |
yeah, I like everyone. everyone has something to bring to the table tits, dicks. Does it really matter late at night with the lights turned off? |
| 1047 |
Chank |
<remstar> |
Primesauce: I love sluts! Sluts rock! It's just, you know, it's just gotta be the right slut, you know? |
| 1046 |
derpa |
<wcchandler> |
i don't discriminate on genitalia. |
| 1045 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce> |
"Oh, baby. I want to be one of your wives and respect you as the head of the household." |
| 1044 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
yep, every woman wants to bury her face in the tentacle love salad |
| 1043 |
derpa |
<Katty> |
1 finger down! 4 to go! |
| 1042 |
doctorsound |
<Primesauce> |
I'll give you a "St. Louis" 2" |
| 1041 |
Chankster^ |
<lacrimosus> |
I don't have boobs. why would you look at me? |
| 1040 |
derpa |
<jennn> |
I got spoonfuls of discharge. |
| 1039 |
timotab |
<funkyb> |
DeliriumTremens, loves the crack |
| 1038 |
funkyb |
<Pb_ft|work> |
yaaay alcoholism |
| 1037 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton> |
i have some pi earrings somewhere |
| 1036 |
funkyb |
<spotmonk> |
felchers: preventing pregnancy since 3000 bc |
| 1035 |
funkyb |
<jennn> |
my chinese leaked onto my pants now I smell like a beefy chinaman. |
| 1034 |
DeliriumTremens |
<wcchandler> |
DeliriumTremens: you're supposed to pull one off and swim with your men |
| 1033 |
spif |
<entangledphoton> |
I sacrifice my flesh for bacon |
| 1032 |
doctorsound|work |
<baslisks> |
I have both but someone was playing with my piercings and loosened a ball |
| 1031 |
memmek2k |
<entangledphoton> |
Irish I were Korean! |
| 1030 |
CityGirl |
<jennn> |
wcchandler I'll milk your asshole for you. |
| 1029 |
DeliriumTremens |
<jennn> |
The "my vagina stinks you need to fix it" doesn't seem to get me anywhere with him. |
| 1028 |
entangledphoton |
<DrDinosaur> |
St. Louis: Come for shitty pizza, stay because you have an STD and no one will love you anywhere else. |
| 1027 |
funkyb |
<ricco> |
so friendly gropes at the grocery checkout are a no? |
| 1026 |
CityGirl |
<lacrimosus> |
I love naked dick lifting pizza parties! |
| 1025 |
doctorsound |
<DrDinosaur> |
June Jellyfish |
| 1024 |
Chank |
<funkyb> |
'Here's the deal, I'm not a hands on guy unless you need me to be. We're all big boys here. I don't really care what you work on, when you work, or how you like to approach problems. At the end of the day all that matters is are you helping to move the dial." |
| 1023 |
derpa |
<entangledphoton_> |
I meant to say something about the petting before the wangs were grabbed |
| 1022 |
derpa |
<entangledphoton_> |
I am so full of wangs I could have wangs coming out of both ends |
| 1021 |
spif |
<lacri|work> |
goosing someone is sticking a finger up their bum |
| 1020 |
axe9|work |
<lacri|work> |
you guys really don't get how hard I *actually* work to faking being this good at social interaction |
| 1019 |
spif |
<entangledphoton_> |
I need to go get wangs! |
| 1018 |
jennn |
<derpa> |
jennn screams her own name during sex |
| 1017 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite8> |
vaginas look like big red catcher's mitts |
| 1016 |
lacri_work |
<entangledphoton_> |
jennn: I fluff bulls for interspecies porn shoots |
| 1015 |
spif |
<jennn> |
You know we all come in here way to much when we are having an actual discussion about cock arms and whether or not they can be cocks. |
| 1014 |
jennn |
<lacri_work> |
jennn is an excellent yeast receptacle. |
| 1013 |
derpa |
<jennn> |
I beat derpa's mother! |
| 1012 |
Pb_ft|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
jennn pretty sure there is just a huge gap in the sheet. That's how we know it's you |
| 1011 |
spif |
<entangledphoton_> |
there are always whore moans around here |
| 1010 |
spif |
<derpa> |
she's never beat me off. then again, i've never paid her the 2 dollars for it either |
| 1009 |
derpa |
<axe9|work> |
How'd ya pull it? |
| 1008 |
dolemite8 |
<derpa> |
little known fact: The Janito is a drink much like a mojito, but sold solely to janitors |
| 1007 |
Pb_ft|work |
<derpa> |
looks like i'm pleasuring an elephant, and doing the helicopter at the same time |
| 1006 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
kitkatkaytee: is that where you went after my thing? |
| 1005 |
spif |
<Epistatic> |
don't worry, the worst it could do is make you schizophrenic and drive you insane |
| 1004 |
memmek2k |
<lacri|work_> |
CityGirl always gets all the penis |
| 1003 |
lacri|work_ |
<entangledphoton_> |
I love artists! They make really pretty drawings in the foam of my latte |
| 1002 |
poisomike87 |
<jennn> |
J Lube is a good use. Used on farms for birthing animals. However, if you get the powder mix is very stringy. Not sure I want that in my vagina but the gays swear by it. |
| 1001 |
spif |
<Muskett> |
lots of people have 'deduced ethics from pure logic'. Amazingly, all of those ethics looked exactly like the ethics they had going in |
| 1000 |
entangledphoton_ |
<lacri|work_> |
til ep_net is actually your wifi enabled penis? |
| 999 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
Do you think that people who get off on pain are jealous of people with fibromyalgia? |
| 998 |
spif |
<ep_net> |
I'd bang her if she like bought me an iphone or something |
| 997 |
soupmeister |
<Camerongoogly> |
i tried to show what happens when someone gets Iced and the crotch of my jeans couldn't take it |
| 996 |
Pb_ft |
<doctorsound> |
It's like the nyquil challenge. Polish off a bottle and see if you can crank one out before you pass out. |
| 995 |
spif |
<doctorsound> |
no, dudes jerking off on trainsets |
| 994 |
spif |
<DrDinosaur> |
The human body is a disgusting pile of organs and bacteria. It is not beauty. |
| 993 |
timotab |
<lacrimosus> |
I'm sure it would have been both direct, and as a result indirect nudity of others? |
| 992 |
timotab |
<lacrimosus> |
no, my underwear are attached to my body like barbie, doctorsound |
| 991 |
lacrimosus |
<Pb_ft|work> |
girl knows how to handle a bat'leth |
| 990 |
lacrimosusholic |
<Primesauce> |
lacrimosusholic, how many times are you going to fondle me before you just admit your love for me and we have crazy, disappointing monkey sex? |
| 989 |
Pb_ft |
<lacrimosusholic> |
cause we don't already have enough guys around here looking to get pegged [ |
| 988 |
Pb_ft |
<Jimmy> |
shit, i'm here 5 minutes and you have me pegged |
| 987 |
Pb_ft|work |
<derpa> |
Pb_ft|work: is so white, plantation owners would be his slaves |
| 986 |
drewn3zzzz |
<Evin> |
I'm a reasonable assassin. I can't just go axing people professionally without a return on investment. |
| 985 |
spif |
<CheeseMonkies> |
groping is one thing, naked dicks are another. |
| 984 |
spif |
<lacri|work> |
I refuse to have a good time |
| 983 |
derpa |
<GaryEffingOak> |
cocks are the best |
| 982 |
dolemite8 |
<axe9|work2> |
She orgasmed so hard she dislocated her toe once... that was kinda... awesome |
| 981 |
spif |
<derpa> |
i'd have sex with Evin if he paid me. i'm too good to give it away for free. even a nice dinner and a beer would do |
| 980 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
||cw: could mix them together. "Sheep for dilithium!" |
| 979 |
Chankster^ |
<Pb_ft> |
Don't quote me |
| 978 |
Chank |
<Evin> |
I'd rather be a cat then a ryan. |
| 977 |
lacri|work |
<Evin> |
it sounds like the post enema discharge from some rigid redheaded highlander. |
| 976 |
spif |
<Ryxeria> |
I would rather do 20 rectal exams than touch Primesauce |
| 975 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
You're a falafel ball. |
| 974 |
GaryEffingOak |
<jennn> |
lacri|work Just give the penis the ole sniff test first. |
| 973 |
GaryEffingOak |
<lacri|work> |
quit grabbing me you jerks |
| 972 |
spif |
<lacri|work> |
I dunno, most of the time it's kind of hard to work in "have you washed this thing recently" before giving a bj... |
| 971 |
spif |
<CitizenKane> |
Not that I suck dick, but if I did I don't think I would ever suck an unwashed one |
| 970 |
axe9|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
Who doesn't wash their dick? I soap that guy up even if the rest of me is gonna stay dirty. It's just polite |
| 969 |
CitizenKane |
<jennn> |
That's why I have a nose clip I constantly keep hanging around my neck. Unwashed dick doesn't taste as bad if you can't smell it. |
| 968 |
Pb_ft|work |
<memmek2k> |
I really think windows 8 should have been sold as "windows for tablets if you have anything else this operating system will do strange things" |
| 967 |
DeliriumTremens |
<jennn> |
my pussy can be pussy too though |
| 966 |
spif |
<CityGirl> |
every time I step away, I come back and the room is full of gay sex |
| 965 |
spif |
<jennn> |
As long as the balls don't touch it's not gay. |
| 964 |
jennn |
<GaryEffingOak> |
gay chicken just turns gay when i'm involed |
| 963 |
spif |
<bundtkate> |
But I'm not eating me, so it's ok. If I ever consider auto cannibalism tho, I'll make sure to skin myself before eating myself. Y'know, to get rid of membranes. |
| 962 |
poisomike87 |
<catwrangler> |
to an extent, then they just start molesting furniture and attaking invisible birds. |
| 961 |
Chank |
<entangledphoton_> |
I always shit out whole cookies in oblong form |
| 960 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
I need a toilet computer chair |
| 959 |
memmek|nix |
<lacrimosus> |
I fucked a mermaaaaaaid! |
| 958 |
CityGirl |
<baslisks|work> |
I wish I could fuck around too but I cannot |
| 957 |
Pb_ft|work |
<misspwn> |
i got pickle whipped |
| 956 |
jennn |
<kitkatkaytee> |
jennn: This is why soupmeister is such a brat. You raised him all wrong! |
| 955 |
CitizenKane |
<jennn> |
A turkey baster is not enough. I need all the sperms! |
| 954 |
axe9|work |
<Evin> |
then you could call it jew chew |
| 953 |
memmek2k |
<Pb_ft|work> |
lacri|work is the jewciest.* |
| 952 |
Pb_ft|away |
<soupmeister> |
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce Evin, the illiterate writer! |
| 951 |
lacri|work |
<soupmeister> |
I forgot where I was for a second and just said "I'm going to kick her in the cunt" to one of my coworkers. |
| 950 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
Are we talking about your tent or your butthole? |
| 949 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
i just want my chicks to be old enough to drive themselves to the seedy motel |
| 948 |
derpa |
<Pb_ft|work> |
didn't realize that they were that big, ||cw |
| 947 |
derpa |
<spotmonk> |
I always set the bar low. If I sleep with a girl and she doesn't say "you're not as small as you led me to believe" than I haven't done my job |
| 946 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
jennn never wants to fist me ( |
| 945 |
jennn |
<CityGirl> |
I would totally give it to you jennn |
| 944 |
poisomikework |
<baslisks> |
fuck you took my shit |
| 943 |
poisomikework |
<baslisks> |
but you can't pick your friends nose |
| 942 |
Pb_ft|work |
<jennn> |
Jesus, are we still talking about math? |
| 941 |
lacri_work |
<derpa> |
yeah, he's black from the waist down. which means he's good at running from police |
| 940 |
doctorsound|work |
<lacri|work> |
punk is silly. it revolves around being homeless and dirty, and peeing on the streets.. |
| 939 |
doctorsound|work |
<TheGodComplex> |
TIL flava flav is steamcrunk |
| 938 |
spif |
<CityGirl> |
I also like asshole |
| 937 |
lacri|work |
<Cuddlesauce> |
I hate everything white. |
| 936 |
memmek2k |
<entangledphoton> |
And I am for beating the fuck out of children |
| 935 |
spotmonk |
<jennn> |
Nice balls are easier to lick. |
| 934 |
derpa |
<jennn> |
An enema would help with that |
| 933 |
derpa |
<lacri|work> |
Primesauce, you always come first |
| 932 |
lacri|work |
<baslisks> |
he just likes sucking robot coks |
| 931 |
spif |
<baslisks> |
I would hose them down before I fucked them |
| 930 |
poisomike87 |
<derpa> |
Participates By Feeling Taints |
| 929 |
lacri|work |
<Evin> |
why would you bring pee into a butthole? Because you can, that's why. |
| 928 |
||cw |
<Primesauce> |
Aww, yeah. Put your tower in axe9|work's trunk. |
| 927 |
Chankster^ |
<TheGlobComplex> |
I look at the kinsey scale while I jerk off. |
| 926 |
Chank |
<axe9|work> |
Evin: I have no qualms either, I'll hit a women first if it looks like she's going to hit me hard enough to reduce my ability to defend myself. |
| 925 |
spif |
<jennn> |
and you palmed my crotch you bastard! |
| 924 |
Evin |
<baslisks> |
don't have to get naked to beat the shit out of someone and call them names |
| 923 |
girkabob |
<jennn> |
You people and your strange ideas are really rather quite alarming sometimes and creep me the fuck out. |
| 922 |
girkabob |
<Camerongoogly> |
the landing is funny because of all the women walking around in heels on the cobblestones like baby giraffes |
| 921 |
axe9|work |
<derpa> |
Penis Belongs Fully Torqued |
| 920 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
How can I love a woman that I haven't shared with entangledphoton? |
| 919 |
DrDinosaur |
<axe9|work> |
YEAH BITCH! SWALLOW MY NOOBS! ALL OF THEM! |
| 918 |
lacri|work |
<baslisks|work> |
my penis is a performance device |
| 917 |
axe9|work |
<CityGirl> |
bundtkate, but we're dating, I thought we shared our feels and memories? |
| 916 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
9 out of 10 people enjoy gangrape |
| 915 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce|phone> |
Ankylosaurus is the best dinosaur. There is no need for discussion. |
| 914 |
dolemite8 |
<DrDinosaur> |
I don't pee in a girl's butt until the third date! Because I'm a fucking gentleman! |
| 913 |
axe9|work |
<timotab> |
English women lactate tea |
| 912 |
doctorsound |
<baslisks|work> |
bbsdm |
| 911 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
dongleweights the new product from bowflex |
| 910 |
entangledphoton_ |
<memmek2k> |
lacri|work: I guarantee my mom is not enough to satisfy your needs |
| 909 |
Pb_ft|work |
<baslisks|work> |
hands, knees, discarded bandaids, and probably penetration |
| 908 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
My idea date involves ribs and sex |
| 907 |
memmek2k |
<jennn> |
just stick it in dry please |
| 906 |
TheBroChad |
<Ryxeria> |
I dunno, the cervix is just shinier than I expect |
| 905 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce> |
My lap is the best place for activities |
| 904 |
Evin |
<poisomike87> |
FUCK THIS SHIT I WANNA EAT BREAKFAST OFF OF YOUR ASS |
| 903 |
soupmeister |
<derpa> |
i have moody coloreds. they change my tires. |
| 902 |
timotab |
<baslisks> |
I have no one to play with but myself |
| 901 |
Chank |
<TheBroChad> |
I am such an ass |
| 900 |
timotab |
<baslisks> |
that just sounds like I have a large sack |
| 899 |
lacri|work_ |
<derpa> |
transexuals watching Saw movies? |
| 898 |
spif |
<DrDinosaur> |
That means my total ball sucking roll was actually 25! doctorsound_'s balls are sucked so goos! |
| 897 |
lacri|work_ |
<El Dubb> |
my rim job modifier is extremely high |
| 896 |
lacri|work_ |
<DrDinosaur> |
Ball sucking is not a class skill, though, so it's such a point drain to get the modifier that high! |
| 895 |
doctorsound|work |
<bundtkate> |
I mean, so far as Africa goes. |
| 894 |
jennn |
<doctorsound|work> |
Unfortunately I am not available at the time for IUD testing... |
| 893 |
derpa |
<CityGirl> |
My uterus is up for grabs if anyone needs one. |
| 892 |
funkyb |
<jennn> |
yeah my periods look like this, just bloody sfw http //i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01565/blobfish_1565953c.jpg |
| 891 |
spif |
<doctorsound|work> |
It's how you get the red wings by mistake |
| 890 |
spif |
<jennn> |
When wearing tampons does the string get caught up between your butt cheeks and rub your anus in an annoying way? |
| 889 |
rikkitikki |
<jennn> |
What the hell am I going to do with a box of dicks? |
| 888 |
jennn |
<memmek2k> |
I think I'll take the hose |
| 887 |
DeliriumTremens |
<soupmeister> |
It's because we have to haul around our massive schlongs all day. |
| 886 |
lacri|work |
<soupmeister> |
I am an unabashed couch fucker. |
| 885 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
lacri|work, I would look sexy as Hitler. |
| 884 |
timotab |
<Ryxeria> |
always with teh huge cocks |
| 883 |
timotab |
<CityGirlStudy> |
lacri, that beaver gets all the wood! |
| 882 |
jennn |
<Primesauce> |
I call dibs on spotmonk's ass. I think it's probably cleaner than his mouth. |
| 881 |
spif |
<jennn> |
don't use saran wrap, not worth it. I need to apologize to that girl next time I see her, |
| 880 |
asimplefreak |
<jennn> |
You have lovely boobs. I want them. On me. |
| 879 |
derpa |
<soup|work> |
I WANT NUTS |
| 878 |
memmek|work |
<rikkitikki> |
El Dubb: No, I want all three of my dicks circumcised. |
| 877 |
rikkitikki |
<El Dubb> |
so much fapping going on in here |
| 876 |
lacri|work |
<El Dubb> |
to treat a vagina well is to become one with it and it's workings. You've gotta put in some hard work, be attentive, and do your homework. |
| 875 |
entangledphoton_ |
<lacri|work> |
it's only weird and awkward if you don't like penii |
| 874 |
spif |
<memmek|work> |
YOU'RE A WEIRD AWKARD BULGE |
| 873 |
lacri|work |
<sewpmeister> |
Dealing with vaginas for men is like most people on a train. Sure, we can ride them without hurting too many people, but when it comes to driving and maintenance, there would be blood everywhere. |
| 872 |
spif |
<rikkitikki> |
And it was only obvious after the pants were off |
| 871 |
spif |
<El Dubb> |
I don't know how y'all deal with a vag. Those things are complex as hell |
| 870 |
TheGodComplex |
<nodeath> |
I thought I would need a backcountry permit to go in there |
| 869 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
Brits also have excellent foreskin control. I once saw sewpmeister open a beer with his. |
| 868 |
derpa |
<entangledphoton_> |
Things go bad quick in derpa's bed |
| 867 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
I have to pack a lunch and a canteen to go from one side of your mom to the other. |
| 866 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
tell them it gave you ass whiplash |
| 865 |
TheGodComplex |
<willisnutz43> |
I'M SECRETLY GAY! |
| 864 |
poisomike87 |
<lacrimosus> |
entangledphoton_, you gots a perty mouth, I bet they'd be worth at least 3.50 |
| 863 |
poisomike87 |
<kitkatkaytee> |
entangledphoton_: :( |
| 862 |
memmek|work |
<jennn> |
I'd rather shove these up my ass to dissolve than in my mouth. |
| 861 |
derpa |
<jennn> |
I let people get into me all the time. Sometimes without lube even. |
| 860 |
TheGodComplex |
<monkers> |
i do not 'fuck dead people' |
| 859 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
I'm going to sit on El Dubb's lap while we watch porn together. |
| 858 |
lacrimosus |
<dolemite8> |
mandalorians are bangalorians teeming with mitichlorians |
| 857 |
timotab |
<CityGirl> |
TIL that if you stand in front of the elevator, but don't push the call button...your chances of getting an elevator are SiGNIFICANTLY reduced. |
| 856 |
derpa |
<jennn> |
My penis is bigger than all of yours. And blacker than el Dubb's. |
| 855 |
drewn3ss |
<jennn> |
I have pastry puff nipples. Puffy and flaky. |
| 854 |
derpa |
<jennn> |
And for your information, my vaginal discharge hasn't made anybody vomit. Yet. |
| 853 |
Chank |
<sewpmeister> |
jennn: Let me put this in a language you'll understand: "The effect of jennn's vaginal discharge affected Ben Affleck so much, he vomited then immediately committed suicide." |
| 852 |
timotab |
<lacrimosus> |
apparently baslisks has had 5 sheep? |
| 851 |
timotab |
<baslisks> |
normally people worry about their tits |
| 850 |
funkyb |
<baslisks> |
jennn hide your menstruation |
| 849 |
Muskett |
<drewn3ss> |
baslisks: I love meaningless sex with red headed dwarfs! |
| 848 |
TheGodComplex |
<bundtkate> |
It's times like these when I realize I'm probably a lot more virginal than I may have perviously believed. |
| 847 |
sewpmeister |
<jennn> |
#rstl is not your emotional tampon |
| 846 |
TheGodComplex |
<entangledphoton_> |
spif: You can... I can also drink drano, but it seems really fucking stupid if I want to live a good quality life |
| 845 |
TheGodComplex |
<sewpmeister> |
I want something original and unique and interesting. I don't care about romantic. Really, I want to give her something she can post to Reddit for her cakeday for karma... that's what she wants most. |
| 844 |
TheGodComplex |
<bundtkate> |
I'm the opposite, lacri|nohomro. I only selectively use my right hand. Even tho i'm right handed. Weird, I know. |
| 843 |
funkyb |
<CityGirl> |
I like wanker |
| 842 |
drewn3ss |
<CityGirl> |
I'm not a hippie hater, but I do wish they would bathe more and ask before they put spit on me. |
| 841 |
spif |
<CityGirl> |
Boobs, man. Like they're natural and stuff. |
| 840 |
spif |
<CityGirl> |
I was very close to whacking a hippie |
| 839 |
spif |
<CityGirl> |
I had anonymous hippie spit on my finger! |
| 838 |
spif |
<TheGodComplex> |
...That was the single most awful thing to ever happen to humankind. Having to sneeze in the middle of eating oatmeal? What kind of ginger worshipper would wish that on me |
| 837 |
spif |
<drewn3ss> |
with the right amount of rohypnol and location,location,location, he's got time to wife about 500 women in that time. |
| 836 |
Merlin00 |
<soupmeister> |
Jesus Christ, guys, I'm no n00b. I just moved my network over to kitkatkaytee's place and haven't set the router up for port forwarding yet. |
| 835 |
lacrimosus |
<CityGirl> |
I feel like ep_net would totally do a bend over the hood shot |
| 834 |
lacrimosus |
<Muskett> |
Wang's Bent Hanger Daycare |
| 833 |
TheGodComplex |
<timotab> |
The reason mongooses don't fly: only one carrion per passenger. |
| 832 |
dolemite8 |
<misspwnie> |
WHAT KIND OF PENIS SOUP GOD DAMNIT |
| 831 |
spif |
<CityGirl_STL> |
someday, I'm going to be off the dope |
| 830 |
derpa |
<drewn3ss> |
sea cucumbers are rad...and feel like ocean penises |
| 829 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
it's bloody seafood vomit in a bottle |
| 828 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
Man, I would totally put out for a homemade chicken pot pie. Well, maybe not fully put out, but I would at least eat a girl out for it. That's good enough, right? |
| 827 |
entangledphoton_ |
<DrDinosaur> |
I only give blowjobs to people I love. |
| 826 |
spotmonk |
<TheGodComplex> |
Have a lot of unprotected sex and share your needles. |
| 825 |
lacri|fwork |
<CityGirl> |
Isn't his bum like a wee peach? |
| 824 |
lacri|fwork |
<DeliriumTremens> |
same old, tickling grundles, etc |
| 823 |
girk|work |
<bundtkate> |
Nutella is totally worth getting the poops. I support all consumption of Nutella regardless of future potential butthole related stressed. |
| 822 |
lacri|fwork |
<girk|work> |
GO POKE YOURSELF ENTANGLEDPHOTON |
| 821 |
memmek2k |
<lacri|fwork> |
Jocefus: I did already take care of myself in the bathroom at work, so I guess that counts as debauchery. |
| 820 |
misspwn_ |
<monkers> |
anyway, that was not very fun, but it was quick ! ) |
| 819 |
lacri|fwork |
<DrDinosaur> |
Yup, I've looked in every drawer in my lab. Apparently there are no fucks here. I should tell my manager to order the lab some more fucks. |
| 818 |
Merlin00 |
<jennn> |
I like big guys. Cause then when we're having sex their gut smacks me in the clit or the ass depending on position. |
| 817 |
drewn3ss |
<jennn> |
Stop talking about my gaping wet vagina of huge monstrosity. Not my fault! God made me this way and I'm beautiful! |
| 816 |
funkyb |
<spotmonk> |
when I masturbate I like to imagine me and bundtkate wearing matching pairs of these http://i.imgur.com/R0sDw.jpg (nsfwish) |
| 815 |
memmek2k |
<jennn> |
El Dubb can ram his head up my vagina anytime. |
| 814 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dudas> |
memmek i fully support your right to stick things up your butt. |
| 813 |
lacri|meeting |
<entangledphoton_> |
girl, I think my butt gettin big |
| 812 |
derpa |
<asimplefreak> |
the blood just adds so much to the overall experience |
| 811 |
funkyb |
<lacri|work> |
please, share your meat with me. |
| 810 |
derpa |
<TheGodComplex> |
I am envious of your meat. |
| 809 |
misspwn |
<CityGirl> |
baslisks that's HUGE! |
| 808 |
funkyb |
<TheGodComplex> |
Just because one can do worse does not mean one should settle. |
| 807 |
CityGirl |
<Camerongoogly> |
St Louis is the STD capital of the Midwest... the Clapital, if you will |
| 806 |
CityGirl |
<Camerongoogly> |
if you don't want them sticking anything into your penis, you shouldn't be sticking your penis into anything |
| 805 |
ep_net |
<DrDinosaur> |
As a doctor and a dinosaur, I assure you that 4 weeds will turn you gay. |
| 804 |
lacrimosus |
<El Dubb> |
meh, celibacy is fine with me |
| 803 |
DeliriumTremens |
<jennn> |
I have been lucky in the herpes department. I mean, after getting it. |
| 802 |
entangledphoton_ |
<jennn> |
Men. You have no idea what the vagina is capable of. |
| 801 |
funkyb |
<jennn> |
My vagina is wet. I wonder if I've started my period. I'm too lazy to check. |
| 800 |
kitkatkaytee |
<El Dubb> |
yeah, but still. It's funny to imagine a bizarro world where roles were reversed and a whole bunch of brits were complaining about sun burn out in the fields |
| 799 |
Lapper |
<Chankster> |
I LOST MY HAT |
| 798 |
funkyb |
<jennn> |
My Pan looks like he could lay some pipe. Rawr! |
| 797 |
drewn3ss |
<memmek2k> |
Lapper: You have it backwards. You're the one not expanding the horizons of nipple ornamentation |
| 796 |
kitkatkaytee |
<jennn> |
rikkitikki Not every man is willing to venture into my vagina. |
| 795 |
Pb_ft|work |
<jennn> |
God, I would eat a penis burrito. I would even dress up as a homeless person to make this happen. |
| 794 |
lacri|work_ |
<entangledphoton_> |
So we get penis hats and boob hats? |
| 793 |
spotmonk |
<jennn> |
Sounds like my sex life. Difficult and frustrating with a smattering of satisfying. |
| 792 |
Pb_ft|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
The customer is nearly always an entitled asshole |
| 791 |
entangledphoton_ |
<lacri|work> |
entangledphoton_: your penis always makes me smile.. |
| 790 |
drewn3ss |
<entangledphoton_> |
When everyone has herpes, no one has herpes! |
| 789 |
DeliriumTremens |
<lacri|work> |
dingle arm you say? |
| 788 |
dolemite8 |
<lacri|work> |
I dunno, I am pretty good at feeling out ripe avocados. |
| 787 |
derpa |
<CityGirl_> |
I used to volunteer in the maternity ward of a hospital. I would rock all the babies. |
| 786 |
derpa |
<baslisks_> |
I need more face holes.. I need testicles to do it |
| 785 |
funkyb |
<rikkitikki> |
yeah, I go in and out |
| 784 |
memmek2k |
<Obama> |
You're welcome, DeliriumTremens |
| 783 |
misspwn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
opened new container and it just SPLOOSH all over my shirt and shoes |
| 782 |
kitkatkaytee |
<jennn> |
Stopp grabbing me kitkatkaytee |
| 781 |
kitkatkaytee |
<jennn> |
I can't imagine the lines at ihop all for free Pancakes. I'd rather just go to a stripclub as some of those girls are sporting flapjacks on their chests. |
| 780 |
misspwn |
<funkyb> |
sure soupmeister, and if you get some cartos I'll fill them up with whatever you want from my juice |
| 779 |
ep_net |
<Primesauce> |
ep_net, I'm already making a list of all the fun things we can put in your anus |
| 778 |
memmek2k |
<El Dubb> |
Ryxeria seems to be expert at butt things |
| 777 |
ep_net |
<Ryxeria> |
and who knows what I'll be sticking into you |
| 776 |
timotab |
<lacri|work> |
I spent the whole time thinking of sitting on penises? |
| 775 |
derpa |
<DrDinosaur> |
Fine, I'll let you have your penis back. For now. |
| 774 |
memmek2k |
<entangledphoton> |
Primesauce: can you move? I need to use my penis now. |
| 773 |
lacri|meeting |
<bundtkate> |
I feel like my fantasy life is being decided for me and I'm upset it doesn't include a herd of corgis and a sexy hockey player. |
| 772 |
funkyb |
<bundtkate> |
I'm used to not having a golden toilet seat, but if someone gave me one and then took it away, it would still be rude. >.> |
| 771 |
entangled|home |
<Primesauce> |
I'm the gay chicken king. |
| 770 |
lacrimosus |
<ep_net> |
rifles are the ultimate tequila delivery system |
| 769 |
poisomike87 |
<TheGodComplex> |
She'll be crawling all up in those dark tunnels, baslisks|work . |
| 768 |
lacrimosus |
<DrDinosaur> |
LACRI GOT EIFFEL TOWERED WITHOUT ME?! |
| 767 |
spif |
<lacrimosus> |
this is the first time I've had more than 1 person at a time since living here |
| 766 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
you shoulda snowballed her in the face |
| 765 |
memmek2k |
<soupmeister> |
Great, now I have a tired and sitting down too long boner. |
| 764 |
Chankster^ |
<lacrimosus> |
alcohol and naked women are the only reason to go to illinois |
| 763 |
entangledphoton |
<lacri|work> |
"There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him, but most of all, ice cubes" Prov 6:16 |
| 762 |
timotab |
<axe9|work> |
Is it weird that I find sex itself fun and interesting enough, even after four years with the same women, that I have no desire to go all wild? Alyssa has expressed the same feeling as well |
| 761 |
Merlin00 |
<entangledphoton> |
I love hard nipples |
| 760 |
dolemite8 |
<lacri|work> |
TIL entangledphoton went to the spotmonk school of making women sit in ice filled bathtubs before sex |
| 759 |
timotab |
<derpa> |
i'm more concerned about poon deployment |
| 758 |
Evin |
<Ryxeria> |
morning wood is great, means half the work's already done for me |
| 757 |
El_Dubb |
<derpa> |
Penis Bleeds From Tough Wanking, Or Raping Kids |
| 756 |
lacri|work |
<soupmeister> |
All bowties are equipped with a motor so they can be used to instantly hypnotize anyone who poses a threat. |
| 755 |
doctorsound|work |
<Chank> |
im dum |
| 754 |
||cw |
<DeliriumTremens> |
08:24 * memmek2k can vouch for Primesauce. he gives good back alley handies. |
| 753 |
Chank |
<||cw> |
entangledphoton: they might paint you asswell, or they might paint you asspoorly |
| 752 |
Chank |
<lacri|work> |
I kind of prefer porn to most art |
| 751 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work> |
Oh man, I just farted by the copier... and it smelled like death |
| 750 |
funkyb |
<El Dubb> |
I have so many downvotes to give this morning |
| 749 |
derpa |
<bundtkate> |
Like prostitutes except with on purpose babies. |
| 748 |
axe9|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Pee on anything that smells like cat pee, then pee directly on Daisy to assert dominance. |
| 747 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Bizarrosauce> |
Ryxeria is the best. |
| 746 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
entangledphoton: this is my penis, there are many like it but this one is mine. Without me, my penis is useless. Without my penis, i am useless! |
| 745 |
spif |
<dolemite8> |
i plan to be cremated, made into a cajun butter injection, get injected into a turducken that's then humped by john madden, then shot into space |
| 744 |
ds_sp00k |
<spif> |
frying turkey only works because frying anything works |
| 743 |
lacrimosus |
<TheGodComplex> |
"And next up is, by request, That Other Group of Chickens, singing their classical rendition of CLUCK yOU!" |
| 742 |
funkyb |
<spotmonk> |
sweet and sour sauce on my pussy |
| 741 |
entangledhome |
<El Dubb> |
why must the IRS, as directed by Congress, grind my gears? |
| 740 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
Immortality is for losers. |
| 739 |
doctorsound |
<monkers> |
Your fallacy is you disagreed with monkers. |
| 738 |
memmek2k |
<spif> |
Ryxeria: would you rather print fake nipples with a 3D printer or fleshy nipples with a bioprinter? |
| 737 |
lacri|work |
<Jocefus> |
Penises in spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace |
| 736 |
derpa |
<baslisks|work> |
always getting distracted by packages |
| 735 |
entangledphoton_ |
<DrDinosaur> |
If I could date any woman in this chan, it would be entangledphoton_. |
| 734 |
lacri|notworking |
<derpa> |
soft skin, plucked eyebrows, perky breasts... entangledphoton_ is the total package |
| 733 |
lacri|notworking |
<DrDinosaur> |
derpa, same here. I mean, I have to be at least 60% sure she's a woman before I'll take her home. |
| 732 |
memmek2k |
<Jocefus> |
dunno what the point is to getting a new hymen, just so the next dude can plow through it like the koolaid man? |
| 731 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite8> |
Because when you disrespect one mutha, you disrepectin' muthas all ovah the whorl |
| 730 |
dolemite8 |
<lacri|meeting> |
a masturbating spiderman is *always* the correct response. |
| 729 |
entangledphoton_ |
<DrDinosaur> |
Did she suck your dick? Because I would suck your dick for an open bar and free food. |
| 728 |
axe9|work |
<memmek2k> |
Dildos and bowties, DrDinosaur |
| 727 |
axe9|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
Dildos are a sometimes treat, god damn it! |
| 726 |
memmek2k |
<DrDinosaur> |
DeliriumTremens, not everything needs to have a dildo on it. |
| 725 |
misspwn |
<doctorsound> |
Us growers don't run into that issue. |
| 724 |
||cw |
<lacri|work> |
if you come with us, I will definitely take a picture of your tits |
| 723 |
timotab |
<rikkitikki> |
Are we trading boobs? |
| 722 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
bearing a load on one's penis is much better, i'm sure, than loading a bear on one's penis |
| 721 |
TheGodComplex |
<dmonkers> |
i use the terms "penis" and "butt" and i've gotten along well enough. |
| 720 |
DrDinosaur |
<soupmeister> |
I'm tired of my throat feeling like I deep throated a cactus. |
| 719 |
Ladysauce |
<El Dubb> |
lady sauce is perfectly natural |
| 718 |
Pb_ft|work |
<||cw> |
can she mambo pamby in the banana patch? |
| 717 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Primesauce> |
How many pool balls can she fit in her mouth? |
| 716 |
doctorsound |
<derpa> |
never rub another man's rhubarb |
| 715 |
_misspwn |
<DeliriumTremens> |
h8u DTbot |
| 714 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
hire a midget with a dirk to guard your stuff |
| 713 |
soupmeister |
<monkers> |
they need to bring back the fuckin care bears... cause niggas dont even care no more. |
| 712 |
_misspwn |
<axe9|work> |
We should probably block everything ehre at work, our pipe is small |
| 711 |
entangledphoton |
<introspectr3> |
have you ever destroyed a website though lacri|work? it really could give statutory rape a run for its money. |
| 710 |
lacrimosus |
<entangledphoton> |
I like my women dirty and used |
| 709 |
misspwn |
<Chank> |
ive got a super hard bar that your mom survives on |
| 708 |
entangledphoton |
<lacri|work> |
I will play with you entangledphoton ! |
| 707 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
there were no peg legs and no pegging. There was rum though |
| 706 |
DeliriumTremens |
<DrAntula> |
or a true lies 2. where jamie lee curtis does nothing but hang out and eat activia. |
| 705 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
I'm so gonna date her while she's gone. |
| 704 |
entangledphoton |
<bundtkate> |
It would be lung rape. Millions of people would be forced to inhale a small part of entangledphoton's dick. |
| 703 |
lacri|work |
<DrDinosaur> |
Screw WoW, join entangledphoton and me as we dance in the streets. |
| 702 |
girk|work |
<lacri|work> |
also how crazy would that be, you are about get get it on with someone, pull off their shirt and BLAM.... fuckin raptor |
| 701 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
I realized when I got winded during sex that I need to quit |
| 700 |
memmek2k |
<DrDinosaur> |
But lacri|work, for the Eiffel tower I thought it was going to be you pegging entangledphoton_ while he sucked me off... |
| 699 |
lacri|work |
<Amantis> |
TRIGGER WARNING: hey, my gandma was killed in a sock darning acident |
| 698 |
kitkatkaytee |
<Primesauce> |
White castle is what happens when a mcdonalds has a baby, but that baby restaurant choked on its own umbilical cord. |
| 697 |
remstar |
<Primesauce> |
Yeah, I think it's easier to ask for permission for buttsecks than it is to get off of a sexual predator list. |
| 696 |
PartyPat |
<baslisks|work> |
Bloog for life |
| 695 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton> |
of course the brown people think melanin is awesome... |
| 694 |
timotab |
<derpa> |
lacri|work: 740 sq ft is big enough for 8 mexican men |
| 693 |
timotab |
<axe9|work> |
My urine sticks to everything... |
| 692 |
monkers |
<entangledphoton_> |
my two cents any woman who is with me has obtained the pinnacle of manliness |
| 691 |
spif |
<Primesauce> |
I tried opening up to spotmonk once, but he didn't use any lube. What a dick. |
| 690 |
timotab |
<Camerongilly> |
no holes for the nipples and I'm pretty sure the underwear has a crotch |
| 689 |
funkyb |
<misspwn> |
my poatoes are almost ready to be smashed |
| 688 |
memmek2k |
<derpa> |
axe9|work: i'd still pee in her butt. i just don't want to listen to the band |
| 687 |
spif |
<Jocefus> |
being horny and loving wings is great, doesnt matter in the end when she turns out to be a lyin whore. Sorry, I'm still a bit bitter, can ya tell? lol. |
| 686 |
dolemite8 |
<El Dubb> |
yep, sounds like you've got a recipe for the worst cookie ever |
| 685 |
doctorsound|work |
<dolemite8> |
they SAY "when you're here, you're family" but they get all pissed when i walk out without paying |
| 684 |
kitkatkaytee |
<Evin> |
I might have contributed, but no more than contributing the penis to a rousing exchange of vagina burritos. |
| 683 |
Chank |
<Evin> |
I'd sit on the sink and watch bundtkate pee, if you know what I mean. |
| 682 |
bundtkate |
<spotmonk> |
I also love entangledphoton_'s dick |
| 681 |
Evin |
<entangledphoton_> |
If I am putting bacon on my dick, somebody is eating it. |
| 680 |
CitizenKane |
<kitkatkaytee> |
I'm a giant nerd who smells funny |
| 679 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton_> |
ABORTIONS FOR EVERYONE! |
| 678 |
TheGodComplex |
<Ryxeria> |
cybering is wasting time I could be using to get laid. |
| 677 |
Primesauce |
<El Dubb> |
on the contrary. dickbags is not a game. you aren't treating them with the respect they deserve |
| 676 |
funkyb |
<Primephone> |
"That's the most fuckable corpse I've ever seen." |
| 675 |
lacri|work |
<||cw> |
Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the head of the church. And Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store. |
| 674 |
kitkatkaytee |
<Camerongilly> |
"bang like god is watching" |
| 673 |
remstar |
<TheGodComplex> |
By which I'm implying it's damp, dank, and full of hairy, sweaty old men trying to get something they should've quit trying to get years ago. |
| 672 |
lacri|work |
<Primephone> |
Anyone that chews gum is clearly inferior in all ways to those of us that don't . |
| 671 |
Chank |
<DeliriumTremens> |
DTbot Unchained |
| 670 |
spif |
<lacri|work> |
If theres anyone I would want to meet in a dark parking lot its entangledphoton /nod |
| 669 |
monkers |
<memmek2k> |
derpa: it does sound like one of them,l ol |
| 668 |
monkers |
<spif> |
I have more experience being able to walk away from trolling |
| 667 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
I don't mind sexing for food. I've gotta be worth at least a few burritos. |
| 666 |
axe9|work |
<Merlin00> |
[11:42] Your mom is not particularly awesome |
| 665 |
axe9|work |
<Merlin00> |
unfortunately for mardi gras, # of boobs seems to directly relate to # of degress |
| 664 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
it's the jews fault |
| 663 |
lacri|meeting |
<DeliriumTremens> |
entangledphoton: semen everywhere, the other day i broke a towel in half |
| 662 |
spotmonk |
<Primephone> |
Am I more gay? Like, super ultra mega gay? Like... a power ranger using a unicorn horn as a dildo gay? |
| 661 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound|work> |
I can't get the smears to go away after beer either... |
| 660 |
TheGodComplex |
<Camerongilly> |
If I can't find the perfect girlfriend, I can at least raise one. Spotmonk |
| 659 |
TheGodComplex |
<baslisks> |
It looked like you had run what you originally meant to say through a czech translator and then back into english |
| 658 |
spotmonk |
<Primesauce> |
I WANT TO BE ALL THE LADYGIRLS! |
| 657 |
Jocefus |
<Ryxeria> |
also, "always jack off before making an important decision" true for women too |
| 656 |
derpa |
<Ryxeria> |
I prefer to not use access to my vagina as a bargaining chip :P |
| 655 |
axe9|work |
<Camerongilly> |
The hooker fluid can get cloudy. |
| 654 |
funkyb |
<Camerongilly> |
The hooker needs to be replaced every 30000 miles |
| 653 |
monkers |
<Primesauce> |
In the future, I assume all eyes will be lasers. |
| 652 |
baslisks|work |
<monkers> |
fags. |
| 651 |
monkers |
<lacri|work> |
we needs moar quotes! |
| 650 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce> |
I'm on a quest to see ALL Japanese porn. It's been... troubling... |
| 649 |
memmek2k |
<lacri|work> |
I'm okay with tentacles and dickgirls. |
| 648 |
timotab |
<Primesauce> |
lacri|work, you clearly haven't watched enough Japanese porn! |
| 647 |
lacri|work |
<monkers> |
BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON |
| 646 |
spif |
<entangledphoton_> |
I killed my neighbor the other day for a 256 MB flash drive |
| 645 |
entangledphoton_ |
<kitkatkaytee> |
There was a lot of touching in the dark that night |
| 644 |
funkyb |
<lacri|work> |
you are always broken monkers. |
| 643 |
lacri|work |
<misspwn> |
I WAS THE ONE who got peed on directly |
| 642 |
remstar |
<spotmonk> |
if you like things in your butt it's no big deal. I've had a couple |
| 641 |
remstar |
<spotmonk> |
I've ejaculated in a number of mouths over the years |
| 640 |
lacri|work |
<dolemite8> |
jesus shaves |
| 639 |
DeliriumTremens |
<lacri|work> |
it's not a shower without beer |
| 638 |
laoks |
<baslisks|work> |
I like submissive bitches |
| 637 |
TheGodComplex |
<spif> |
when a pretty girl that I trust says drink this, I do it |
| 636 |
spif |
<TheGodComplex> |
I just haven't started sticking my tongue in them yet |
| 635 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
That's why I don't watch any of that sinful snuff. I stick with the family values inherent in a nice, clean pornographic film |
| 634 |
soupmeister2 |
<spotmonk> |
yeah... after 8 years I learned that crying after sex was good and crying during sex was bad... |
| 633 |
kitkatkaytee |
<baslisks> |
why are you narrating your masturbation? |
| 632 |
ep_home |
<lacrimosus> |
use a baby, not a gerbil |
| 631 |
lacrimosus |
<Primephone> |
Any time a doctor touches my junk, I squeal. |
| 630 |
Chank |
<dolemite7> |
when all you have is a knife, every problem looks like a hobo |
| 629 |
lacrimosus |
<monkers> |
im easy. |
| 628 |
lacrimosus |
<baslisks> |
more bones to bone with |
| 627 |
doctorsound |
<Camerongilly > |
That tractor is do able |
| 626 |
lacrimosus |
<monkeypaws> |
sorry im an idiot |
| 625 |
Chank |
<baslisks|work> |
are you into pegging? |
| 624 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
memmek2k is the cutest hepatitis! |
| 623 |
memmek2k |
<monkers> |
well since no one asked i'll just tell you, my testes are feeling better today. |
| 622 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
Always put your dick in crazy. |
| 621 |
kitkatkaytee |
<Ryxeria> |
vibrators are far more efficient than oral |
| 620 |
dolemite7ph |
<misspwn> |
i refuse to call something with out nipples a milk product |
| 619 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
don't make me nope on your face |
| 618 |
laoks|work |
<baslisks> |
I barely kind of want to just have sex and then go working on what I was working on |
| 617 |
Chankster^ |
<lacrimosus> |
Chankster^ is filled with non stop action.. |
| 616 |
laoks |
<baslisks|work> |
see that book title could also be about vaginas with glitter |
| 615 |
timotab |
<Camerongilly> |
you're going to give him a broner. |
| 614 |
Chank |
<Evin> |
I'll gladly eat a bunch of pineapple and let someone suck my dick for science. |
| 613 |
lacri|work |
<Chank> |
does your ass hurt? |
| 612 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
my coworker keeps asking me not to murder him |
| 611 |
doctorsound|work |
<timotab> |
I don't have any tea. So that wet sounding fart DeliriumTremens just made was not because of tea. |
| 610 |
timotab |
<lacri|work> |
you never fart in a man's tea! that is sacred |
| 609 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
memmek2k has yellow sex |
| 608 |
lacri|work |
<Evin> |
because I have some sort of sex kung fu grip anyway, so any lady sorts aren't going to be standing on their own anyway. |
| 607 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
misspwns cigarettes are like smoking paul bunyons turds |
| 606 |
kitkatkaytee |
<lacri|work> |
they do have those vibrator races |
| 605 |
lacri|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
the dad "Hey! Hey!!!" |
| 604 |
soupmeister |
<spotmonk> |
lapper is cash nigga! |
| 603 |
timotab |
<Primesauce> |
Oh Felicia Day. You can make even my cold heart a bit warmer. |
| 602 |
rinalyn |
<Primesauce> |
entangledphoton, how is it not common knowledge yet that I always lie? |
| 601 |
timotab |
<rinalyn> |
That tongue thing he does makes me uncomfortable. |
| 600 |
timotab |
<Primesauce> |
Gods damn it, aliens! Just let me kill you without firing back! |
| 599 |
timotab |
<kitkatkaytee> |
TIL that people take stealth boob pictures of me. |
| 598 |
timotab |
<Primesauce> |
Show him your boobs. That always works to woo the boys |
| 597 |
timotab |
<soupmeister> |
I'm never having a birthday ever again. It's too much stress. |
| 596 |
lacri|work |
<axe9|work> |
All men are utterly stupid, and unobservant... just reach down and grab it if you want to activate the mating ritual. |
| 595 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
You like the virgin nog? |
| 594 |
Chankster^ |
<kitkatkaytee> |
You guise just like grabbing me, don't you? |
| 593 |
Chankster^ |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Wait, I can be blocked from being grabbed? |
| 592 |
lacr|work |
<entangledphoton> |
DeliriumTremens: I will newb so hard all over you |
| 591 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i think the most important thing to take away from this is timotab got laid! |
| 590 |
rinalyn |
<entangledphoton> |
You know, I suppose a bit more thrusting never hurt anyone. |
| 589 |
timotab |
<rinalyn> |
soupmeister: When you say "so far" it makes me think of the sexually charged p90x dude |
| 588 |
timotab |
<soupmeister> |
I wanna be in a trunk. I've never been in a trunk. |
| 587 |
timotab |
<baslisks> |
yeah, the only thing I can do here is to get drunk fat and flirt with either way too skinny of girls or just over the edge of chubby cuteness |
| 586 |
doctorsound |
<lacrimosus> |
soupmeister > naked women |
| 585 |
timotab |
<spotmonk> |
I won't sleep with people who won't sleep with me |
| 584 |
timotab |
<lacrimosus> |
spotmonk gets more play than anyone else, but that seems to be because he pretty has no standards |
| 583 |
soupmeister |
<doctorsound> |
Your mom cums in a gallon tub. |
| 582 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
the glass breaking is what made me poop |
| 581 |
lacrimosus |
<youlysses> |
I'm tired of all this god damn shit in these god damn bowels! |
| 580 |
lacri|work |
<soupmeister> |
ORGY ME EL DUBB, ORGY ME NOW |
| 579 |
lacri|work |
<Primephone> |
Ah! My eyes! I need them fer peeping! |
| 578 |
derpa |
<baslisks|work> |
I challenge you to an ass off |
| 577 |
entangledphoton |
<lacri|work> |
entangledphoton has a very nice ass for a guy |
| 576 |
timotab |
<entangledphoton> |
humping should be fine |
| 575 |
entangledphoton |
<lacri|work> |
you have to be part human to be a muggle.. i'm all robot baby |
| 574 |
rinalyn |
<entangledphoton> |
TIL: dating requirements for rinalyn has cat, watches Dr. Who, no facial hair and is dumb enough to get trapped |
| 573 |
axe9|work |
<misspwn> |
like you have your standard gays but he's deff a power bottom he backs it up |
| 572 |
rinalyn |
<NetPrime> |
But I'm a power bottom. I generate all the power. |
| 571 |
lacri|work |
<NetPrime> |
I love butt piracy. |
| 570 |
Chank |
<baslisks|work> |
just because there are black people does not make it scary |
| 569 |
memmek2k |
<rinalyn> |
Whoah, I'm not racist. |
| 568 |
timotab |
<dolemite7> |
a ford cli taurus? |
| 567 |
doctorsound|work |
<Primesauce> |
I didn't say he's retarded, he's just not fully a person yet. He's like a person intern. All children are people interns. |
| 566 |
lacri|work |
<memmek2k> |
Chank is built like a stack of half dollar coins |
| 565 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce> |
Death by penises. |
| 564 |
Chankster^ |
<misspwn> |
i felt liek a complete tool |
| 563 |
memmek2k |
<soupmeister> |
I think like derpa |
| 562 |
derpa |
<lacri|work> |
its just like the big wheel on price is right.. but with more penetration |
| 561 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce> |
But I need those bitches... |
| 560 |
DeliriumTremens |
<axe9|work> |
There are a LOT of jews on This American Life.... |
| 559 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
BECAUSE CHEESEMONKIES IS THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD |
| 558 |
doctorsound |
<Primesauce> |
Yeah, but how are we going to fit all that granola into one VCR? |
| 557 |
memmek2k |
<lacri|work> |
my butt hurts.. so bad.. why have I done this to myself? |
| 556 |
DeliriumTremens |
<girk|work> |
I dated a 14 year old when I was 16 and it was positively scandalous |
| 555 |
timotab |
<axe9|work> |
memmek2k: It sounds interesting... and I like meat and fat things. |
| 554 |
lacrimosus |
<entangledphoton_> |
I was not inside a woman yesterday! I swear an oath on it |
| 552 |
Chankster^ |
<Primesauce> |
I don't ask for a lot, entangledphoton_. I'm a pretty easy guy to please. All I asked was for one text, from you, while you were inside of a woman. And you, sir, agreed to this request. The fact that I did not get said text brings our entire friendship into question. |
| 551 |
lacrimosus |
<baslisks|space> |
lacrimosus, I pretty much don't have many other thoughts about other things. Except if its fish, jazz, and maybe boobs. |
| 550 |
timotab |
<spotmonk> |
Wait... Why am I spotmonk |
| 549 |
lacrimosus |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i like to poop back and fourth forever |
| 548 |
spotmonk |
<spif> |
yeah I have a plan for wrapping it |
| 547 |
timotab |
<spotmonk> |
all DeliriumTremens sees at work is ballsacks |
| 546 |
timotab |
<derpa> |
timotab: i have a 7 inch taint |
| 545 |
DeliriumTremens |
<BaronVonJoe> |
Nice. What level do I have to be to get red font? |
| 544 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
I would go down on a chocolate dong |
| 543 |
entangledphoton |
<misspwn> |
no i do not have a penis inside my butt that i pee out of. we've been over this kid _ |
| 542 |
dolemite7 |
<funkyb> |
lolol ain't no place I've ever heard of, they speak l337 in lolol? |
| 541 |
misspwn |
<lacri|work> |
I am always slow |
| 540 |
Cephalus |
<misspwn> |
i love a good circle jerk |
| 539 |
spif |
<entangledphoton> |
I may find it gross at first, but I'm sure some chicks feel the same about swallowing. If the worst I have to deal with a few hours of the equivalent of "cum burps" I can eat some bugs. |
| 538 |
dolemite7 |
<lacri|work> |
I have SO many empty drawers that would be perfect alcohol receptacles. |
| 537 |
DeliriumTremens |
<derpa> |
i'd suck on some sour patch tits |
| 536 |
Primesauce |
<Lapper> |
ah, I hate colored people, so... |
| 535 |
timotab |
<El Dubb> |
memmek2k's penis felt so pleasant. I think he moisturizes. |
| 534 |
lacri|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
like i was fisting insulation or something |
| 533 |
timotab |
<kitkatkaytee> |
Anything that requires me to put pants on is work. |
| 532 |
spif |
<Ryxeria> |
I fucking hate dermatology |
| 531 |
derpa |
<Primephone> |
All anal stimulation should be extreme. |
| 530 |
dolemite7 |
<Primephone> |
I bought dildos in bulk so that I'm ready for the fourth date. |
| 529 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
sorry my penis isn't good for a tripod |
| 528 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Merlin00> |
pretty cool and easy to carry |
| 527 |
Chankster^ |
<entangled|home> |
I use POF only for duck hunting. A buddy of mine and I have deal, every chick with see with duck face gets a message that just says, "bang!". If she replies it is a hit. The most hits at the end of the week gets a free beer |
| 526 |
doctorsound |
<willisnutz43> |
i don't trust anything without an on/off switch either |
| 525 |
axe9|rollinrolli |
<timotab> |
is it just me or does that band name sound more like Wand Erection? |
| 524 |
spotmonk |
<entangledphoton_> |
derpa: because we brought and did shots from a two foot dong last night? |
| 523 |
entangledphoton |
<memmek2k> |
I'm not sure what to really think about a bunch of theoretically straight guys talking about my penis. |
| 522 |
lacrimosus |
<Cephalus|Library> |
with spotmonk, is the buttsex ever a surprise? |
| 520 |
memmek2k |
<axe9|Work> |
why not buy a cat dildo |
| 519 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
surely miralax will be a little less...intrusive |
| 518 |
spif |
<Gypsy_Biscuit> |
saying if I can sleep on a friends easyboy just sounds creepy |
| 517 |
memmek2k |
<derpa> |
i have an inherent problem with the "no touching" rule at strip clubs |
| 516 |
entangledphoton |
<lacrimosus> |
and entangledphoton's penis grew 3 sizes that day. And then the true meaning of Christmas came through |
| 515 |
Primesauce |
<entangledphoton> |
I found one without penis! |
| 514 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
Yeah, you can't show too much penis at once. You've gotta be a tease with the penis. Let her see some, but make her wanna see more. |
| 513 |
spif |
<Primesauce> |
"So, I saw you like Dr. Who. That got me wondering, do you anal?" |
| 512 |
spif |
<lacrimosus> |
"do you in the butt"? |
| 511 |
memmek2k |
<misspwn> |
tell her to come over with a jacket and a bow over her vagina |
| 510 |
TheGodComplex |
<DeliriumTremens> |
only cats want to rub my junk ;_; |
| 509 |
dolemite7 |
<spotmonk> |
there could be underage prostitutes having inbred cat sex there DeliriumTremens |
| 508 |
spotmonk |
<TheGodComplex> |
I don't mind prostitution. |
| 507 |
lacrimosus_ |
<Primephone> |
I'm gonna burgle lacrimosus so hard. |
| 506 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
Sup girl, u look sexy. I drive a Jetta, what's your instagram? |
| 505 |
entangledphoton |
<DeliriumTremens> |
last night was just "wake up wake up wake up im horny wake up" |
| 504 |
misspwn_ |
<DeliriumTremens> |
then she was all like "GET IN MY VAGINA" |
| 503 |
funkyb |
<axe9|work> |
DeliriumTremens: You and I are on the same wavelength sometime, freaks me the fuck out |
| 502 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton> |
spotmonk: I think my coming depends on how good you are at eating the asshole? |
| 501 |
memmek2k |
<spotmonk> |
yes... nipples are how deaf people hear. Seems legit to me |
| 500 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton> |
I have learned in my days that there are never too many dicks. |
| 499 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
the long ballsack of the law |
| 498 |
DeliriumTremens |
<phenobarbidoll> |
work|endearing: they make those undies so guys with long ballsacks won't get them twisted in the fly. |
| 497 |
lacrimosus |
<Primephone> |
I would name him Albert Gatorsburg. |
| 496 |
spif |
<Ryxeria> |
I am frequently naked |
| 495 |
entangledphoton |
<misspwn> |
I also find entangledphoton to be the sexiest |
| 494 |
lacrimosus |
<DeliriumTremens> |
a turkey baster filled to the brim with miniature turkey basters |
| 493 |
axe9|work |
<spotmonk> |
Ryxeria's arrival makes me have to poop as well |
| 492 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I just realized I might be channeling LeDucky, excuse me while I go eat this cyanide capsule. |
| 491 |
lacrimosus |
<timotab> |
which do you prefer? vagina flavoured summer sausage or summer sausage flavoured vagina? |
| 490 |
timotab |
<entangledphoton> |
How large is your penis? It's about 1.2 memmek2ks |
| 489 |
memmek2k |
<derpa> |
and the other half is is erect penis... |
| 488 |
spif |
<lacrimosus> |
you're just upset that you can't participate in the dicking since you've lost yours! |
| 487 |
spif |
<Primephone> |
You're getting awfully cocky now that you've acquired my dick, lacrimosus! |
| 486 |
spif |
<Primephone> |
lacrimosus wants to put my dick into her dickbox. |
| 485 |
spif |
<CheeseMonkies> |
retarded as in slowed |
| 484 |
doctorsound |
<spif> |
Gnu brind thad bag |
| 483 |
timotab |
<spotmonk> |
Snuck that in in time |
| 482 |
Primesauce |
<lacrimosus> |
big.. thinger |
| 481 |
lacrimosus |
<t_toughnuts> |
"Look, lady.. I don't know who you think you are, but you can't have your fucking nose back." |
| 480 |
spif |
<Primesauce> |
POOP COMES FROM THERE! |
| 479 |
spif |
<CheeseMonkies> |
I would like to point out that not only uneducated hypocritical people like playing with poop holes. That is all. |
| 478 |
lacrimosus |
<doctorsound> |
Primephone, pruposterous! |
| 477 |
timotab |
<kitkatkaytee> |
No, it's not a euphimism. There were math and verbs involved. |
| 476 |
doctorsound |
<Primephone> |
I'm completely normal. |
| 475 |
spif |
<Primephone> |
etoh would be the shortened version of ethanol, while I've seen methanol shortened as mtoh and meoh. (I prefer meoh because I can pronounce it meow) |
| 474 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
I think the idea of me and pegging gave DTbot pause |
| 473 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
in my butt... I'm cool with. in their butt, less so |
| 472 |
lacrimosus |
<endearingnoises2> |
I want to see Rihanna's other boob |
| 471 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Primephone> |
My guess is that my dad took it. I think he was always jealous of my hammer. |
| 470 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
minus the drug dealing bit |
| 469 |
spotmonk |
<spif> |
well I look forward to serving you |
| 468 |
spif |
<derpa> |
a fish, tits, a fish with tits, titty fish |
| 467 |
spif |
<derpa> |
a titty fish? |
| 466 |
soupmeister |
<poisomike87> |
I think I will grab another 22 inch one on black friday |
| 465 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I dont want poopdick |
| 464 |
spif |
<sira> |
ANAL obviously |
| 463 |
lacri|yar |
<Primesauce> |
I'll put a huge turkey in sira's oven. |
| 462 |
lacri|yar |
<spif> |
premature methane release |
| 461 |
spif |
<doctorsound|work> |
HHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR |
| 460 |
poisomike87away |
<poisomike87> |
ok be back later peace |
| 459 |
spif |
<phenobarbidoll> |
Primesauce: I will DO jazzhands all over your face! |
| 458 |
entangledphoton |
<Primesauce> |
Sex is like a race. Whoever finishes first wins. |
| 457 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce> |
If someone sent me a ninja turtle invite, I would go to whatever it was. Doesn't matter if it's an invite to a gay orgy, or to some organ harvesting party, it's a ninja turtle invite, so I'm there. |
| 456 |
lacri|work |
<entangledphoton> |
derpa: homMosexual roBot |
| 455 |
spif |
<entangledphoton> |
Having sex while chatting on IRC |
| 454 |
spif |
<lacri|work> |
now I just don't understand why she is caressing her own boob |
| 453 |
spif |
<Primesauce> |
lacri|work is apparently too nice to shove everyone's face in her sexy times. |
| 452 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn> |
i only bleach it for three people and one of them is god |
| 451 |
lacri|spellcheck |
<toughnuts_workin> |
to me, the quality of a work day is determined by number of successful poops on the clock |
| 450 |
DeliriumTremens |
<girk|work> |
non lacrisauce You're not scrawny enough for me, I like a man I can break |
| 449 |
lacri|spellcheck |
<non lacrisauce> |
I'm the gooiest. |
| 448 |
lacri|notworking |
<work|endearing> |
yeah, by the time I finally decide I'm ready for a kid I'll only have retarded sperm left |
| 447 |
spif |
<Primesauce> |
Everyone else would get all emotional about having to kill another human being. And I don't want to deal with being killed by someone while they're all emotional. |
| 446 |
lacri|notworking |
<derpa> |
sira: actually, Primesauce and i have a deal. if he lives to 35, i get to kill him |
| 445 |
lacri|meeting |
<sira> |
i didn't want to say fist a potato... |
| 444 |
Cephalus|Library |
<El_Dubb> |
that's still a dumb thing to quote |
| 443 |
TheGodComplex |
<misspwn> |
you just shaddup your whore mouth |
| 442 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
I'm unemployed... I can't afford a golden shoewr |
| 441 |
spif |
<TheGodComplex> |
Brojobs is blowjobs if you're a racially stereotyped asian. |
| 440 |
spif |
<Primesauce> |
Hahah, you tried to grap me. |
| 439 |
misspwn_ |
<Primesauce> |
That's also why entangledphoton loves brojobs so much. Because, seriously, who knows what feels good on a penis better than another dude? |
| 438 |
timotab |
<entangledphoton> |
that was a long grab |
| 437 |
timotab |
<entangledphoton> |
Well, I have hands. I am really good at doing things to my penis with them. I would wager I am better at it than anyone else who is going to get all handsy with it, so if a handy is all that is in store I will take care of that myself |
| 436 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Cephalis is basically Judge Judy. |
| 435 |
derpa |
<spotmonk> |
my balls are on your beard |
| 434 |
lacri|work |
<derpa> |
at least it's not a rape ghost |
| 433 |
lacri|work |
<work|endearing> |
at least your regret formed a temple and not something like a giant dick shaped guillotine... and smegma |
| 431 |
Primesauce |
<lacri|work> |
this seems suspisciously like a trap.. a delicious sausage filled ttrap.. |
| 430 |
spif |
<CheeseMonkies> |
And shit it was, golden shit. |
| 429 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Primesauce> |
Anyway, this beer is not going to start the shower and drink itself inside of the shower, so I've got to take care of things if I plan to make it to trivia. |
| 428 |
timotab |
<doctorsound> |
Well, it always happens when you yeast expect it. |
| 427 |
timotab |
<memmek2k> |
I'm waiting for liz to tell me she's been tricking me all this time and that I'm really, really bad at anatomy |
| 426 |
lacri|worky |
<Ryxeria> |
and then I get laid, so bonus |
| 425 |
memmek2k |
<Evin> |
Just get some of those tub crayons they make for kids and make the drain look like a butthole, then aim for it. |
| 424 |
Evin |
<work|endearing> |
I'm now cracking up at the thought of me furiously masturbating, tears pouring from my eyes, in a ruthless race against the pain |
| 423 |
lacri|worky |
<dolemite7> |
SMOKEY BUTTHOLE JUICES |
| 422 |
DeliriumTremens |
<El_Dubb> |
blue oval bitches |
| 421 |
derpa |
<GROSSsauce> |
I'm the worst homosexual ever. |
| 420 |
spotmonk |
<derpa> |
hey, i like hookers |
| 419 |
spif |
<GROSSnoises> |
DeliriumTremens I watch bartenders carefully when I order a drink to make sure they keep their dicks out of it |
| 418 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
People need to stop stirring their drinks with their schlongs. |
| 417 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
I... don't care if she spits or swallows... she let me ejaculate in her mouth. I'm happy |
| 416 |
spif |
<lacri|work> |
.. |
| 415 |
spif |
<GROSSphoton> |
I've hada cum eye becasue of that |
| 414 |
GROSSsauce |
<derpa> |
as bad a blumpkinnoises? |
| 413 |
spotphone |
<El_Dubb> |
sobriety is amazing |
| 412 |
derpa |
<BergyD> |
cats don't care about people's dicks. |
| 411 |
spif |
<derpa> |
to be honest, i'm kind of surprised i haven't killed anyone yet. must have been my strict upbringing |
| 410 |
lacri|work |
<Primesauce> |
misspwn, did you respond to that picture by pointing out that eagles > babies? |
| 409 |
spif |
<DeliriumTremens> |
yay, i killed all humans! |
| 408 |
entangledphoton |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my disease is spreading too quickly |
| 407 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"I don't think I can do this.....you have to do this, you can't not take a dump....it's going to bleed, it's already excruciating....DO IT, come on, push!" |
| 406 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton> |
I want to lock it down so hard |
| 405 |
lacri|work |
<unicornsprinkles> |
I used to think Emma Watson was really hot, but then the second Harry Potter movie came out |
| 404 |
timotab |
<phenobarbidoll> |
just thought I'd throw some sodomy in there too. |
| 403 |
timotab |
<phenobarbidoll> |
everyone loves being whacked with a giant horn in the forehead |
| 402 |
Chank |
<DeliriumTremens> |
SHALALALALALA DON'T BE SCARED, YOU GOT THE MOVES PREPARED, ARIEL IS BETTER THAN JASMINE |
| 401 |
dolemite7 |
<unicornsprinkles> |
well it's hard to concentrate on rajah and princess jasmine when there's a giant penis on the edge of my screen |
| 400 |
spif |
<unicornsprinkles> |
don't you hate it when you're sliding down a rainbow through the gumdrop mountains and get glitter in your eye > |
| 399 |
memmek2k |
<Yellowsauce> |
Oh, the more I ogled that nurse's phenomenal ass last night the more it started to weird me out and decided I didn't want to make a casting of it to stuff in my pants. |
| 398 |
memmek2k |
<derpa> |
El_Dubb: tell this cracker Primesauce|phone that he's whiter than mitt romney |
| 397 |
DeliriumTremens |
<memmek2k> |
derpa: there is actually a chance we could have giant ginger babies |
| 396 |
spotphone |
<Primesauce|phone> |
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. If Randall Munroe came up to me today and said "let's gay marry," I'd drop my pants immediately so that he could put a ring on my dick. I assume that's how gay proposals work. |
| 395 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
FUNKY BUTT LOVIN |
| 394 |
lacri|worky |
<work|endearing> |
"paris blows and smells like pee"... til paris is a crack whore |
| 393 |
lacri|worky |
<work|endearing> |
I want to fanny pack across europe |
| 392 |
lacri|worky |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i did it on a sundial once |
| 391 |
lacri|worky |
<work|endearing> |
lacri|worky: yo don't hate, I take my penis on fucking adventures |
| 390 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
you get hard with all your bros, line up, and boner flex. the bro with the weakest flex buys the next round |
| 389 |
DeliriumTremens |
<zero619> |
I'm not going to some naked dick lifting pizza party |
| 388 |
entangledphoton |
<zero619> |
Fuck that, illusion of choice. You can either take the shit willingly, or I can give it to you forcefully. |
| 387 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
work|endearing: you're a penis bender |
| 386 |
memmek2k |
<derpa> |
i could coerce some underage girls from the neighborhood to come to my lair |
| 385 |
timotab |
<jhoppe82> |
ballsack |
| 384 |
DeliriumTremens |
<breakdancingcat> |
fill you up for longer * |
| 383 |
memmek2k |
<jennn> |
yes, I have long nails and I'm tired of raking my nails across my anus and getting bits of poo stuck under them |
| 382 |
lacri|worky |
<spif> |
You went to derpa's live sex show last night? |
| 381 |
derpa |
<work|endearing> |
Tell these cheeky bastards to leave their macs at home with their wool ties, hemp shoes, and unicycles. An office is a place for Business. |
| 380 |
lacri|worky |
<spif> |
I'm my own grandma |
| 379 |
lacri|meeting |
<work|endearing> |
Rambone: First Blood |
| 378 |
Chadsauce |
<work|endearing> |
I could manage the dick |
| 377 |
misspwn |
<girkabob> |
I'll go downtown on you, work|endearing |
| 376 |
lacri|meeting |
<work|endearing> |
everyone is talking about my boobs, I better go get naked |
| 375 |
Chank |
<Primesauce|phone> |
That will be the hidden agenda of our book club. On the surface, a nice, subtle book club, while underneath it will be a harem building society, dedicated to creating the Endearing Eight. |
| 374 |
lacri|hate |
<work|endearing> |
real double penetration |
| 373 |
girkabob |
<DeliriumTremens> |
work|endearing just wanders behind the counter at any coffee shop he goes to wearing a shirt that says "World's #1 Barista" in rainbow airbrush, and nobody asks any questions. |
| 372 |
lacri|hate |
<Primephone> |
I don't want to live in a world that limits how many cats can live in a home. If I want a living cat carpet, then dammit I'm going to have a living cat carpet, because that's what the founding fathers wished for me. |
| 371 |
lacri|hate |
<soupmeister> |
IF WE ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE THEN NEXT THING YOU KNOW PEOPLE WILL BE MARRYING HOT BEVERAGES |
| 370 |
spotmonk |
<lacri|hate> |
I grab everyone a lot |
| 369 |
lacri|hate |
<derpa> |
makes me think i'm eating a baby |
| 368 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bundtkate> |
Colors lolololol |
| 367 |
timotab |
<derpa> |
Primephone: will wear cockrings though |
| 366 |
lacri|work |
<work|endearing> |
so when I become rich and open my giant satanic church, people will be able to vote there? |
| 365 |
Primesauce |
<memmek2k> |
Maybe I just prefer to top, and your height intimidates me. |
| 364 |
lacrimosus |
<spif> |
Emu later man |
| 363 |
timotab |
<bundtkate> |
But how does that travel thru everything? Also, tits. How does this factor in tits? Tits are SUPPOSED to be fat. |
| 362 |
timotab |
<bundtkate> |
I try to make a point of not putting any of my appendages anywhere that poop goes. |
| 361 |
dolemite7 |
<spif> |
DeliriumTremens: I'll play with your balls like a girl |
| 360 |
lacri|work |
<misspwn> |
i exclusively listen to honeybadger mating calls oh wait |
| 359 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton> |
I knew a guy that did 4 whole marijuanas. He's gay now |
| 358 |
spif |
<spotmonk> |
I have no explanation for half these stains |
| 357 |
spif |
<CheeseMonkiesAtt> |
Because you have to go through where they make the donuts to get to the restroom. |
| 356 |
lacri|bar |
<SoFake> |
and i was all like... exploring bitch, for science |
| 355 |
Evin |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my mouth AND my butt are drooling |
| 354 |
lacri|FOO |
<El_Dubb> |
as the official representative for the 1% in this chan, I applaud Evin's decision to die off rather than burden us with his prolonged death nonsense. |
| 353 |
kitkatkaytee |
<Evin> |
I don't think I'd ever be afraid of being chased by a clown. Those big floppy shoes would make it near impossible for even a Jamacian clown to catch someone. |
| 352 |
lacr|fckmeetings |
<bundtkate> |
They could totally tort your vagina. And then you'd sue them for malpractice. Which is a tort. |
| 351 |
lacr|fckmeetings |
<dolemite7> |
Do gynecologists ever get pap torts |
| 350 |
Chank |
<dolemite7> |
ONE PIECE OF PENIS?! |
| 349 |
derpa |
<lacr|fckmeetings> |
tits tend ot get in the way. plus you can get fake tits and still be anything |
| 348 |
timotab |
<derpa> |
memmek2k likes meat |
| 347 |
lacr|fckmeetings |
<Primesauce> |
Nazis riding dinosaurs that create gay concentration camps. |
| 346 |
lacr|fckmeetings |
<work|endearing> |
"queen my hooker" |
| 345 |
lacri|work |
<work|endearing> |
I don't have enough semen for both alison brie and emma watson in one day, so I can only look at one a day |
| 344 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
but I shouldn't watch it at work because I don't feel like masturbating in the bathroom |
| 343 |
doctorsound |
<entangledphoton> |
I have the weirdest boner for RAID 5 |
| 342 |
timotab |
<doctorsound> |
I got it bangin' on my 12" over here. I hope the neighbors don't mind, I'm sure you can hear me outside! |
| 341 |
spif |
<soupmeister> |
I DEMAND VAGINA |
| 340 |
axe9|work |
<lacri|work> |
demand for vangina is too low with this crowd |
| 339 |
spif |
<memmek2k> |
I don't know what you guys are on about. Clearly the answer is "why not both?" Canadian bacon bacon pizza, for example, is the shit |
| 338 |
memmek2k |
<spif> |
much like butt holes, families are meant to be tight |
| 337 |
dolemite7 |
<entangledphoton> |
I just celebrated all over my huggies |
| 335 |
spotmonk |
<Chank> |
im just the guy that fucks your mother |
| 334 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
throw the brick through their window and write your ip address on the sidewalk in semen |
| 333 |
kitkatbear |
<work|endearing> |
it was like petting angel pubes |
| 332 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton> |
My fly is down for at least half an hour after every time I poop |
| 331 |
timotab |
<misspwn> |
she lactates period blood |
| 330 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
was hoping for vibe |
| 329 |
entangledphoton| |
<jennn> |
When Primesauce was in your outfit I tried to blow in his ass to see if he could feel it. I don't think he could. He then fingered himself to find the hole. |
| 328 |
work|endearing |
<jennn> |
entangledphoton: Sorry I ripped a bigger hole in your ass Saturday night. |
| 327 |
spotmonk |
<lacrimosus> |
Yea I joked about going as a stripper, but then everyone stole my costume. |
| 326 |
entangledphoton |
<notwork|endearin> |
DeliriumTremens: what about you? did you go with the tampon? |
| 325 |
entangledphoton| |
<notwork|endearin> |
I'm really glad I fit in this skirt |
| 324 |
timotab |
<mcpherrin> |
timotab: but don't worry, I'll be happy. |
| 323 |
timotab |
<breakdancingcat> |
someone pinged me for my genitals? |
| 322 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i havent touched my pi in like 4 hours |
| 321 |
Spotmonk |
<JoeBiden> |
That's a big fucking deal |
| 320 |
lacrimosus |
<BenSpotmonk> |
because daddy like poker and drinks lot of beer, then likes to have sex that involves mommy's rear |
| 319 |
timotab |
<spotmonk> |
daddy like rubbing against little boys on the bus |
| 318 |
timotab |
<spotmonk> |
I'm not cool with people squeezing my bananana from the bottom |
| 317 |
axe9|work |
<entangledphoton> |
work|endearing you have been grabbed more than boyscout in a seminary lately. |
| 316 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
I would put more than ointment in my ass for $3,500 |
| 315 |
entangledphoton |
<soupmeister> |
Boobie bars buff breast breatheability |
| 314 |
lacri|work |
<work|endearing> |
Aqua: how wet are you right now? |
| 313 |
timotab |
<misspwn> |
i don't want your poop dick |
| 312 |
dolemite7 |
<Primesauce> |
I once talked about tentacle porn with my old manager and another coworker for an hour. |
| 311 |
lacri|work |
<Evin> |
I got your 12" extender right here. |
| 310 |
derpa |
<work|endearing> |
"Laugh tracks are like if you watched a porno and heard a bunch of men moaning in the background when something dirty happened to let you know it was time to masturbate." |
| 309 |
soupmeister |
<jennn> |
the point was, you can't substitue a toothbrush for a tampon for masturbation. |
| 308 |
timotab |
<work|endearing> |
talking about fruit bats, concentration camps, and men breast feeding |
| 307 |
axe9|work2 |
<work|endearing> |
or just a doormat with a giant picture of a dick that says "I knew I'd get you on my cock eventually" |
| 306 |
lacri|work |
<work|endearing> |
I'm an expert in the area after watching 8 seasons of Bones, starring that guy from Angel |
| 305 |
timotab |
<work|endearing> |
I think you would get much better sex if the guy were sober |
| 304 |
derpa |
<kitkatkaytee> |
People, STOP GRABBING ME |
| 303 |
work|endearing |
<kitkatkaytee> |
I dont wanna grab that. Not enough semen. |
| 299 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
just get soup to trim his pubes. |
| 298 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
nsfw i guess: http://www.vice.com/read/why girls should only have anal sex |
| 297 |
Evin |
<work|endearing> |
it might be semen |
| 296 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
yeah, I'll come |
| 295 |
entangledphoton |
<Evin> |
if I'm not working and I get blown, suddenly I'll do anything. |
| 294 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Jeroboam> |
apparently i look like gay porn |
| 293 |
entangledphoton |
<Evin> |
look, open mouth, insert penis, nod, then nod some more |
| 292 |
kitkatkaytee |
<memmek2k> |
I can't just turn away. it's not everyday you get to see kitkatkaytee's penis |
| 291 |
entangledphoton |
<derpa> |
an asian looking at wangs... no surprise there... |
| 290 |
lacri|worky_ |
<axe9|meeting> |
Skynet WILL come from apple... |
| 289 |
timotab |
<EVIN> |
it's when two guys take their penises, head to head, one circumsized and one uncircumsized, and the uncircumsized guy uses his foreskin as a jacket and jerks them both off at the same time. |
| 288 |
memmek2k |
<SOUPMEISTER> |
MY PENIS IS LARGE. |
| 287 |
axe9|work |
<dolemite8> |
krispy kreme blueballs |
| 286 |
kitkatkaytee |
<Primesauce> |
http://www.reddit.com/r/ToasterRights God dammit, reddit. God. Fucking. Dammit. |
| 285 |
DeliriumTremens |
<misspwn_> |
i wana skank you so hard |
| 284 |
axe9|work |
<entangledphoton> |
TIL: tone is DT's mom |
| 283 |
derpa |
<work|endearing> |
want to come over and sit in front of the fireplace shirtless while we read gadget fanfics? |
| 282 |
spotmonk |
<entangledphoton> |
it's not selfish to want to get laid. I want to get laid for the benefit of womankind! |
| 281 |
work|endearing |
<DeliriumTremens> |
that wasn't the wind, that was the "shhhhh" of spotmonks lips as he placed the rag over timotabs face |
| 280 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
derpa's abortion clinic and pizzeria, your loss is our sauce! |
| 279 |
memmek2k |
<Merlin00> |
I wouldn't say I'm 'pro' abortion, but I'm pretty handy with a coat hanger |
| 278 |
dolemite7 |
<work|endearing> |
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, can I have a blowjob |
| 277 |
girkabob |
<derpa> |
took a little work, but i got it in |
| 276 |
spotmonk |
<lacri|work> |
speaking of which. I want a Suck It 2012 shirt :( |
| 275 |
kitkatkaytee |
<spotmonk> |
and did not abduct children while I worked there |
| 274 |
Chank |
<entangledphoton> |
That's the power of pine sol, baby |
| 273 |
axe9|work |
<god> |
derpa you are damned |
| 272 |
axe9|work |
<work|endearing> |
if there were a disease similar to chickenpox where little itchy dicks grew all over your body, would it be called dickpox or chickendicks? |
| 271 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
I hate boobs |
| 270 |
soupmeister |
<Chank> |
bergyd: yea i fixed it, DT was munching on the periods |
| 269 |
derpa |
<dolemite7> |
smells like someone set a samsquanch on fire in here |
| 268 |
kitkatkaytee |
<entangledphoton> |
she keeps her penis in her leg warmers |
| 267 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
one does not kick with their arms. |
| 266 |
timotab |
<spotmonk> |
Kevin, please come over for gay sex |
| 265 |
axe9|work |
<derpa> |
anyone want to go to the red light part of town with me? bring a roll of pennies |
| 264 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
that's why mine is so big. |
| 263 |
memmek2k |
<spotmonk> |
always fapping... lubeless... never getting off |
| 262 |
spotmonk |
<Primesauce> |
being creepy is really out of character for spotmonk. |
| 261 |
DeliriumTremens |
<soupmeister> |
I once saw a donkey being walked in there as I was driving by. Just kidding. I wasn't driving by. I was the donkey. |
| 260 |
timotab |
<work|endearing> |
the dancing midget in a red suit talking backwards mind fucked me so hard |
| 259 |
DeliriumTremens |
<entangledphoton> |
Ah yes, Monday night figure skating. I can't wait |
| 257 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spotmonk> |
I'm never getting prostate cancer thanks to masturbation |
| 256 |
lacr|meeting |
<DeliriumTremens> |
either way your butthole is going to hurt |
| 255 |
dolemite7 |
<kitkatkaytee> |
I dont even know what in n out is |
| 254 |
entangledphoton |
<memmek2k> |
RIP George Carlin |
| 253 |
entangledphoton |
<derpa> |
damn you Evin, look what you've done. You've made entangledphoton horngry... |
| 252 |
lacri|work |
<work|endearing> |
being raped by a clowns is the most terrifying thing imaginable |
| 251 |
derpa |
<Kitkatkt|work> |
Cute guy who comes in everyday for coffee finally called me miss! He wants my dick! |
| 250 |
Jocefus |
KC <derpa> |
ask me about my weiner! |
| 249 |
dolemite7 |
<derpa> |
Taco Neck Syndrome |
| 246 |
kitkatkaytee |
<axe9|work> |
derpa: I get like that too sometimes.. and then when I finish being tired and sad for no reason, I wanna hump everything with boobs |
| 245 |
DeliriumTremens |
<bundtkate> |
I imagined that as me with a jar of random bugs and just jumping out from behind DT's kitchen counter and kamehameha ing him with the contents of said jar. He swallowed a centipede. |
| 244 |
lacri|work |
<Evin> |
In the city, it's a hobo. In the woods, it's a bear dressed like a hobo. |
| 243 |
Chank |
<work|endearing> |
I've been married for 15 years and have 3 kids but there's just no passion in my marriage anymore. About a month ago while on a business trip, I was miserable and sex deprived. There was this coworker with me that I had grown close to... she is young, laughs at my jokes. One night we had a few drinks and I installed an aimbot. |
| 242 |
axe9|work |
<Evin> |
I installed an aimbot sounds like you gave her a tramp stamp. |
| 241 |
entangledphoton |
<work|endearing> |
when you become erect, it's just a stiff, lifeless pterodactyl |
| 240 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
The only thing shorter than his memory is his robo penis. |
| 239 |
funkyb |
<Primesauce> |
FUCK MY FINGERS |
| 237 |
lacri|work |
<spotmonk> |
the radio people told me I wasn't allowed to touch her |
| 236 |
DeliriumTremens |
<work|endearing> |
are there any experts on gay dating here? |
| 235 |
spotmonk |
<DeliriumTremens> |
because i dont want to fuck you! |
| 234 |
spotmonk |
<Chank> |
timotab: solution dont use colons |
| 233 |
memmek2k |
<kitkatkaytee> |
I'd bone memmek2k if I was a male |
| 232 |
spotmonk |
<derpa> |
El_Dubb: is a sassy black lady with REALLY BIG ARMS |
| 231 |
derpa |
<hobbbz> |
chicken and egg problem, to get one lumpy and green you need more sex |
| 230 |
funkyb |
<axe9|work> |
cause like... I'll try to brush it one way, but it just goes straight up because it's short... and then I rage... |
| 229 |
work|endearing |
<entangledphoton> |
spotmonk a god we can believe in! |
| 228 |
Primesauce |
<spotmonk> |
and the only thing I respond favorably to in bed is God ; ) |
| 227 |
lacri|work |
<spotmonk> |
and if someone says my name in bed I'm all "who the fuck are you?.... oh that's me!" |
| 226 |
axe9|work |
<spotmonk> |
this escalated quickly |
| 225 |
dolemite7 |
<StosselJohn> |
The trick to steeping tea is to cut the bag open and eat the leaves directly. |
| 224 |
axe9|home |
<Primesauce> |
I love me some whores on prom night |
| 223 |
kitkatkaytee |
<soupmeister> |
May I just point out kitkatkaytee just raped the president with a knife? |
| 222 |
DeliriumTremens |
<lacri|work> |
i think MCR is our generation's Queen, it's more grand scale performance art than a band. |
| 221 |
Evin |
<soupmeister> |
GAH I WISH I COULD JUST PUKE SO I COULD GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH. |
| 220 |
spotmonk |
<soupmeister> |
DeliriumTremens: Fuck you. I can't believe I ever thought you are the most handsome and nicest guy on the planet. I was obviously wrong, and you are ugly and mean. >:( |
| 219 |
memmek2k |
<misspwn> |
I HAVE A PENIS POUCH. I SHAKE MY PENIS POUCH BACK AND FOURTH I SHAKE MY PENIS POUCH BACK AND FOURTH |
| 218 |
Evin |
<misspwn> |
i'll shake my penis pouch around |
| 217 |
soupmeister |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I hope you stood at the door thrusting your hips VERY SLIGHTLY so the lady would walk away wondering if she was imagining that you had 1) a penis pouch and 2) if you were thrusting it |
| 216 |
funkyb |
<marjorie> |
we shall plan the orgy soon enough |
| 215 |
kitkatkaytee |
<KC Jocefus> |
kitkatkaytee I can say one thing, we are better looking than the people in the baltimore reddit group |
| 214 |
lacri|work |
<spot|work> |
I'm not into ICP... I'm just into sodomy |
| 213 |
timotab |
<spot|work> |
are we dating? are we fucking? are we best friends? are we soemthing in between that? I wish we never fucked and I mean that. But not really, you say the nastiest shit in bed and it's fuckin awesome |
| 211 |
kitkatkaytee |
<derpa> |
you can drink while you practice, and not have to worry about getting up to pee |
| 210 |
derpa |
<spot|work> |
then again... most women to me are intangible |
| 209 |
derpa |
<spot|work> |
spot|work plug in your mom |
| 208 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
my battery goes down faster than spot|works mom |
| 207 |
lacri|worky |
<derpa> |
I e c sandwiches! |
| 206 |
derpa |
<dolemite7> |
charmin heavy flow |
| 205 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
you have to treat your butthole with respect |
| 204 |
Evin |
<kitkatkaytee> |
I wanna be crotch. Can I be crotch? |
| 203 |
lacri|worky |
<derpa> |
TIL spot|work will bone anything. Pulse optional. |
| 202 |
lacri|worky |
<entangledphoton> |
Visiting_STL: I'm not a chick, but for a couple hundred bucks I'll give you a memorable night. ; ) |
| 201 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
Women are meant to be seen, not heard. |
| 200 |
dolemite7 |
<Primesauce> |
I am a man of science, Evin. It's my job to experiment with what does and does not work when being put into Lapper's butt. |
| 199 |
soupmomster |
<momsauce> |
I love momnoises |
| 198 |
memmek2k|work |
<work|endearing> |
turns out there is semen all over primesauce's car |
| 197 |
lacri|meeting |
<Primesauce> |
Can I also do nudes? And can I be covered in pigs blood during the nude photos? |
| 196 |
timotab |
<DeliriumTremens> |
fucking fuck shit ass fuck |
| 195 |
Tiroch |
<axe9|work> |
You need to zest the hookers before you boil them... it releases the flavor |
| 194 |
DeliriumTremens |
<spot|work> |
i can taste your sweat in my mouth want to suck your blood |
| 193 |
Evin |
<Chank> |
TIL Evin has supple breasts |
| 192 |
derpa |
<Primesauce> |
memmek2k looks like he'd want to cuddle out his differences with someone. |
| 191 |
misspwn |
<timotab> |
oh my, DeliriumTremens, what a big trunk you have. |
| 190 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
endearingnoises: did your coworkers keep asking if you wanted to come over on Saturday night for some cornhole? |
| 189 |
Chank |
<Evin> |
anyway, I'm out like Pee Wee's dick in that porno theater. |
| 188 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Tiroch> |
you want meat, alright, hold on |
| 187 |
Chank |
<misspwn> |
i flip myself back and fourth |
| 186 |
dolemite7 |
<misspwn> |
i fucking love protein in my mouth |
| 185 |
DeliriumTremens |
<StosselJohn> |
I hope that when my mind is in its infinite final spin during my death, at least some small portion of the expanse created by my dying mind is dedicated to playing darts and hanging out with DT |
| 184 |
timotab |
<derpa> |
flash your cunt to someone. that might make you feel better |
| 183 |
timotab |
<jennn_> |
My vagina always runs the mens off. |
| 182 |
DeliriumTremens |
<SneakyPhil> |
fucking dongles |
| 181 |
kitkatkaytee |
<spot|work> |
I'd toddle for kitkatkaytee's milk |
| 180 |
spot|work |
<SneakyPhil> |
excuse me, samsquantch |
| 179 |
DeliriumTremens |
<doctorsound> |
Covered in dicks |
| 178 |
breakdancingcat |
<dolemite7> |
my cornhole is cracked and wizzled like clint eastwood's face |
| 177 |
funkyb |
<derpa> |
i don't think dolemite7's cornhole regrets anything |
| 176 |
spotmonk |
<DeliriumTremens> |
breakdancingcat: i dont own DTbot |
| 175 |
Tiroch |
<Primesauce> |
I'm clearly a bigot. |
| 174 |
timotab |
<Amantis> |
Well I'm not gonna rub that |
| 173 |
DeliriumTremens |
<timotab> |
cumboxers |
| 172 |
memmek2k|work |
<spot|work> |
it'd be nice if I could end up with someone without a dick tonight though |
| 171 |
memmek2k|work |
<spot|work> |
I totally won't be able to pick up even gay guys tonight |
| 170 |
lacri|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
bologna and spam are twins |
| 169 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
"Peachy Creamy scented vibrating jelly assholes" |
| 168 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
I want to bed your mom memmek2k|work |
| 167 |
El_Dubb |
<doctorsound> |
I'd go gay for a guy who "bred" raptors.... |
| 166 |
derpa |
<timotab> |
you can do your mom at zombo.com |
| 165 |
funkyb |
<spotmonk> |
after 2 days of being on time, even early... I'm back to my ways of being super late |
| 164 |
derpa |
<funkyb> |
Wednesday? It's racism day! |
| 163 |
entangledphoton |
<derpa> |
DeliriumTremens: we all know it's not the first time you've seen a large black man with his pants down |
| 162 |
derpa |
<spotmonk> |
I think if girls didn't wear pants I'd be all hannibal lecter style slurping at random pussy |
| 161 |
derpa |
<entangledphoton> |
that was going to say tats, but I think tatas is also appropriate |
| 160 |
lacri|work |
<spot|work> |
I'd poke both of you guys all night long |
| 159 |
derpa |
<entangledphoton> |
Everybody is doing work. And I'm just sitting here masticating. |
| 158 |
funkyb |
<spot|work> |
and lift me up like the pretty princess I am |
| 157 |
entangledphoton |
<spotmonk> |
You catching your wrists on her vagina teeth? |
| 156 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
leave it to the asian to instantly launch into the "size doesn't matter" line. |
| 155 |
spotphone |
<derpa> |
didn't tab it |
| 154 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
I get grabbed in here more often than a blacked out cheerleader on prom night. |
| 153 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
It's always penis with that girl/ladyboy. |
| 152 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
BITCH DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT SORT OF COFFEE/WOMEN I'M ALLOWED TO DRINK/THROW BALOGNA AT THE BUTTS OF |
| 151 |
derpa |
<derpa> |
i like my women like i like my microwaves cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and will kill any baby i put inside her |
| 150 |
monkers |
<Evin> |
I like my coffee like I like my women, artificially sweet and with a decent amount of fat. |
| 149 |
monkers |
<derpa> |
fuck me |
| 148 |
monkers |
<derpa> |
even more than i normally want to choke babies |
| 147 |
entangledphoton |
<derpa> |
i consider dating an asian girl like a lease. i get a new model every few years to avoid the whole aging instantly situation |
| 146 |
timotab |
<Evin> |
I think that's just a ploy. DT just wants someone to rub his boobs. |
| 145 |
KimLee |
<memmek2k> |
see, if I symbolically consume my negative emotions, then it puts me in control of them. |
| 144 |
lacrimosus |
<derpa> |
it's like a hooker with no nipples |
| 143 |
Tiroch |
<derpa> |
Ryxeria: i think that white people and brown people should get together an make beautiful beige babies |
| 142 |
Tiroch |
<memmek2k|work> |
(10:26:40 AM) memmek2k|work: I'm fully asian stereotyped, I win |
| 141 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
porn start, that's called a fluffer. |
| 140 |
entangledphoton |
<spot|work> |
I'd give a blowjob for a $3k laptop |
| 139 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
a nutural location? What, like a peanut farm? |
| 138 |
Tiroch |
<Evin> |
Who would throw away this perfectly good banana peel? |
| 137 |
funkyb |
<igotcandy> |
dirty old man luring innocent kids |
| 136 |
kitkatkaytee |
<doctorsound> |
Everytime she does that I can only imagine a little lost kitkat wandering around her empty apartment. |
| 135 |
spot|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"I don't need to stick my P in a V, I just want to B my L on someones T's" |
| 134 |
Evin |
<girk|work> |
I'll pay 17 bucks to have that put in my butt so I don't see it |
| 133 |
jennn |
<spot|work> |
you eat my meat, you'll get a mouthful of pudding |
| 132 |
dolemite7 |
<DeliriumTremens> |
TeenyTinyBeats by Pediatrician Dre |
| 131 |
derpa |
<Evin> |
TIL asians spend a lot of time setting tables upright. |
| 130 |
derpa |
<spotmonk> |
my cunt is peformance art |
| 129 |
lacri|work |
<spotmonk> |
an hour? I could do soo many hookers and blows in an hour |
| 128 |
lacri|work |
<misspwn_> |
we did bundtkate also but just the tip |
| 127 |
kitkatkaytee |
<entangledphoton> |
time to ogle scantily clad young ladies and eat dubious chicken products |
| 126 |
timotab |
<rubikscubefreak> |
jennn: it was fabulous! way more energetic than last month's. |
| 125 |
DeliriumTremens |
<breakdancingcat> |
sucks having it in my face |
| 124 |
DeliriumTremens |
<girk|work> |
Gonna scoot all over like a dog with an itchy butt, DeliriumTremens |
| 123 |
lacrimosus |
<spotmonk> |
I'll void the fuck out of your face |
| 122 |
Tiroch |
<misspwn> |
he's in vegas i can do whatever i want! |
| 121 |
funkyb |
<drunkKaytee> |
im drunk, done frinking. not same at all |
| 120 |
lacrimosus |
<Primesauce> |
jewy magic is hard |
| 119 |
kitkatkt|postal |
<DeliriumTremens> |
he consults his penis into chinese chicks |
| 118 |
funkyb |
<soupmeister> |
NAG NAG, fucking NAG |
| 117 |
memmek2k |
<spotmonk> |
you know breakdancingcat... if you didn't put them in your mouth they probably wouldn't come out your mouth like that |
| 116 |
timotab |
<spotmonk> |
fuck it! going to handlebar by myself to go whale hunting. Let's see if I can stick my spear in a large white mammal |
| 115 |
DeliriumTremens |
<funkyb|dunk> |
o of course dunk |
| 114 |
funkyb|dunk |
<DeliriumTremens> |
oh my how he has grown since from his first half beer to drinking shots left and right like a baws |
| 113 |
rubikscubefreak |
<memmek2k> |
When done in prison, the reciever is dominant; the one doing it is submissive. |
| 112 |
memmek2k |
<spotmonk> |
I didn't do my enema... she's not down for that |
| 111 |
axe9 |
<derpa> |
i feel that i should have killed another human being by this time in my life. i feel like i'm missing out on something grand. |
| 110 |
spotmonk |
<entangledphoton> |
kitkatkaytee I'm in if I can cop a middle school sideboob feel. :P |
| 109 |
axe9 |
<derpa> |
nfrared is a bitch kitkatkaytee |
| 107 |
axe9 |
<soupmeister> |
I /really/ fucking want a corndog. |
| 106 |
funkyb |
<Chank> |
you'd eat the shit out of scooby snacks if anyone gave you some |
| 105 |
Chank |
<soupmeister> |
This is one small post for DTbot, one giant leap for botkind. |
| 104 |
Chank |
<funkyb> |
and we can't be leaving no bitches unswooned |
| 103 |
Chank |
<DeliriumTremens> |
If Penthouse is a brand new lexus sitting in front of your 7 bedroom mansion, then Roxy's is the rusted out 73 chevy on cinder blocks behind the burned down trailor at the edge of town |
| 102 |
spotmonk |
<bundtkate> |
I'M WORRIED ABOUT PENISES, MEMMEK2K|WORK. PENISES. |
| 101 |
axe9 |
<bundtkate> |
I feel my life would be improved if John Candy were the answer to every question. |
| 100 |
timotab |
<bundtkate> |
Less floppy and more runny. |
| 99 |
soupmeister |
<DeliriumTremens> |
your mom is gross |
| 98 |
soupmeister |
<entangledphoton> |
your mom is a droopy cunt |
| 97 |
soupmeister |
<Chank> |
i was just amazed that she called my penis fancy |
| 96 |
soupmeister |
<bundtkate> |
I'd like to see you and your fancy penis solve them! :P |
| 95 |
memmek2k|work |
<dolemite7> |
i wanna have tree seeds pounded up my ass and planted in a star wars blanket |
| 94 |
funkyb |
<Evin> |
that'll be the deepest inside another man he's ever been. |
| 93 |
Tiroch |
<dolemite7> |
wherever you're coming from, you leave the jokes there |
| 92 |
funkyb |
<derpa> |
and when you smash them, lazerchickens and shit pop out with parachutes and start laying waste to everything in sight |
| 91 |
kiki|CWEwork |
<jennn> |
beware the nails though. I hate it when they tear through the paper and rake your anus. |
| 90 |
derpa |
<jennn> |
wipe better for a more comfortable feeling |
| 89 |
derpa |
<Chank> |
sira's mom has stopping power |
| 88 |
doctorsound |
<kitkatkt|DnD> |
Primesauce is the prettiest |
| 87 |
funkyb|eeees |
<endearing|work> |
do the dots around the rape make it legitimate? |
| 86 |
funkyb |
<axe9|work> |
My fiance is not nerdy at all... but I want her to get nerdy friends so she assimilates faster... |
| 85 |
funkyb |
<axe9|work> |
Things that amuse me: the word queef |
| 84 |
kitkatkt|nom |
<endearing|work> |
I want to go to a furry party dressed as elmer fudd |
| 83 |
DeliriumTremens |
<endearing|work> |
I can't think of a better way to start the day than a little piss in the face |
| 82 |
Evin |
<kitkatkaytee> |
I need to stop picking up guise at christianmingle.com |
| 81 |
spotmonk |
<breakdancingcat> |
i will masturbate all september long |
| 80 |
funkyb|pewpew |
<Primesauce> |
Cause if I'm sitting there and I lean forward to get a better look at what's on my phone, it'll sometimes think that I left and flush prematurely. |
| 79 |
timotab |
<Cephalus> |
just that they were happy to give her one |
| 78 |
lacrimosus |
<spotmonk> |
sled are for suckers, just ride on my gut |
| 77 |
Evin |
<doctorsound> |
the best part about dating a hair stylist is that it's like being with a different chick every month |
| 76 |
girkabob |
<Evin> |
nickles or gtfo |
| 75 |
kitkatkaytee |
<dolemite7> |
so many rainboots, not enough strippers |
| 74 |
timotab |
<derpa> |
i'd ranchero your huevos rikkirabbit |
| 73 |
funkyb |
<El_Dubb> |
fuck!!!! |
| 72 |
Evin |
<rikkirabbit> |
You can suck my dick |
| 71 |
memmek2k|work |
<lacrimosus> |
I can still be a dude |
| 70 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkirabbit> |
Like a really thick one |
| 69 |
derpa |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i'm a pretty sizable dude |
| 68 |
derpa |
<spotmonk> |
oh yes! I'm inside rikkirabbit! |
| 67 |
DeliriumTremens |
<girkabob> |
Flavored coffee makes Baby Jesus cry |
| 66 |
DeliriumTremens |
<dolemite7> |
roly poly gang bang 4 |
| 65 |
spotmonk |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Crusty Punks are proof that hippies fuck dogs |
| 64 |
endearingnoises |
<rikkirabbit> |
rikkiishot.exe |
| 63 |
rikkirabbit |
<funkyb> |
don't take it so deep? |
| 62 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkirabbit> |
Nigerian bankers with huge dicks |
| 61 |
timotab |
<rikkirabbit> |
Ain't NOTHIN wrong with a big bulge |
| 60 |
funkyb |
<jennn> |
hang on ... corn maze |
| 59 |
rikkirabbit |
<endearingnoises> |
I heard that on your 30th birthday your penis shrinks by 3/4 of an inch |
| 58 |
funkyb |
<sira> |
looks like im gona have to upgrade to younger DeliriumTremens |
| 57 |
monkers |
<sira> |
i used to watch tornadoes from my trailer |
| 55 |
funkyb |
<monkers> |
Captain planet was a left wing communist tree hugger who sent children off with black magic voodoo rings to kill job creators. |
| 54 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
Welcome to my FIST IN YOUR ANUS PRIMESAUCE |
| 53 |
rikkirabbit |
<entangledphoton> |
I don't remember grabbing DeliriumTremens boner |
| 52 |
funkyb |
<Primesauce> |
El Dubb, you're the only reddit person who knows how I am in bed! |
| 51 |
Tiroch |
<Evin> |
I offered to give her the best 60 seconds of her life. _ |
| 50 |
Tiroch |
<DeliriumTremens> |
GRANDPAAAAA |
| 49 |
timotab |
<Killsudo> |
Josh still has a hard on for your web interface |
| 48 |
funkyb |
<DeliriumTremens> |
BIG FLOPPY DONKEY DICKS |
| 46 |
dolemite7 |
<derpa> |
snoodling is like getting a hug. on your dick. |
| 45 |
girkabob |
<DeliriumTremens> |
psh, i dont have any snacks |
| 44 |
soupmeister |
<girkabob> |
r/stlouis is a bunch of dudes who are hapless in bed |
| 43 |
Evin |
<soupmeister> |
Speaking as someone who has had a teabag break on him a few times, no... no they aren't. |
| 42 |
soupmeister |
<jennn> |
yellow on the outside, discharge on the inside |
| 41 |
soupmeister |
<jennn> |
I am a twinkie. |
| 40 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Evin> |
I'd puke all over your dick. |
| 39 |
soupmeister |
<soupmeister> |
Tiroch is probably the most dense material known to man. |
| 38 |
Evin |
<kristy> |
BACK TO AMATEUR PORN I GO |
| 37 |
timotab |
<rikkirabbit> |
Since my boobs are probably the same size as spot's |
| 36 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkirabbit> |
I can't go lower than $475 |
| 35 |
spotmonk |
<Evin> |
if I'm spending $450 on tea, it better come with at least a handy. |
| 33 |
soupmeister |
<Tiroch> |
kitkatkaytee: Its too long to fit on a single page |
| 32 |
Evin |
<DeliriumTremens> |
i forget what i got, it was a black lady though |
| 31 |
entangledphoton |
<entangledphoton> |
We've secretly replaced DeliriumTremens with a bee. Let's see if anyone notices. |
| 30 |
entangledphoton |
<DeliriumTremens> |
"only huge boners can reach g spot" |
| 29 |
soupmeister |
<jennn> |
I think spotmonk is better at punching a uterus. |
| 28 |
soupmeister |
<misspwn> |
he said that they are too thick and will get thicker |
| 27 |
Chank |
<DeliriumTremens> |
semen. it's semen. knew it. |
| 26 |
DeliriumTremens |
<rikkirabbit> |
vs like some hardcore toddler rape |
| 25 |
Chank |
<Evin> |
I don't know how wide, but it can't be as narrow as timothy made it out to be. |
| 24 |
memmek2k|work |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Vagina Jennntata |
| 23 |
DeliriumTremens |
<jennn> |
But I think I could squeeze him in for the morning. |
| 22 |
DeliriumTremens |
<Primesauce> |
I think I was thankful for yeast the first year I started working with ethanol. |
| 21 |
Evin |
<Primesauce> |
Ryxeria doesn't celebrate thanksgiving because she's still pissed that the white man took her land. |
| 20 |
timotab |
<memmek2k|work> |
I am ashamed for my people and my family |
| 19 |
kitkatkaytee |
<dolemite7> |
news flash: white people are dead, and we're getting the fuck out of here |
| 18 |
DeliriumTremens |
<endearingnoises> |
someone's going to get murdered eventually |
| 17 |
entangledphoton |
<timotab> |
it's a little swollen, and then a white goo spurts out of it. |
| 16 |
Chank |
<DeliriumTremens> |
Mr. Pickles Fun Time Abortion Clinic "We'll bring out the kid in ya!" |
| 15 |
spotmonk |
<beckalecka> |
I'd make you a sammich. |
| 14 |
ALS2001 |
<bundtkate> |
This class is supposed to be done. It's not. I need to poop. Un. Fucking. Cool. |
| 13 |
Chank |
<StosselJohn> |
For the record, I'd probably eat a beefy five layer off a guy's cock IF I knew it was clean beforehand and they were wearing a lube free condom to avoid the unsavory bits. |
| 12 |
Chank |
<soupmeister> |
I Nair'd my nuts once or twice |
| 11 |
Evin |
<StosselJohn> |
1) Burrito is purchased; 2) Burrito is inserted vaginally into jennn; 3) Evin has sexual intercourse with jennn, resulting in the burrito clinging to Evin's still erect penis; 4) Evin withdraws penis from jennn; 5) Kristy consumes burrito as positioned on Evin's erect penis. |
| 10 |
girkabob |
<doctorsound> |
"Josh's beard tickles my penis" |
| 7 |
Chank |
<timotab> |
Evin: that's your problem, cooking feces! |
| 6 |
soupmeister |
<jennn> |
he does't come as quick when he's called anymore :( |
| 3 |
soupmeister |
<rikkitikki> |
You fellas impress me |
| 2 |
Chankster |
<spotmonk> |
god damn I'm a creepy stalker person |